How do you figure out what your personal prayer life should look like?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Marie16
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
M

Marie16

Guest
Meaning how long you should spend in daily prayer, what to do daily, where to pray, what devotions to practice, etc?

Hopefully that isn’t a silly question. I find my prayer life very inconsistent, sometimes I’m really excited to spend time with God and sometimes I want to run the other direction. I know I need consistency but I’m not sure how to make a plan for what that consistency should look like.
 
I think it would be good for you to decide for yourself why prayer is important. It’s not about “saying 10 Hail Marys so Jesus gives us what we want.” It’s not “I’ll pray for 15 minutes so God forgives me.”

Check out Matthew 6:5-15, Jesus instructs us here on how we should and should not pray.

Prayer is about giving thanks, asking questions, voicing concerns, asking for our hopes and desires, and ultimately worshiping the God that was, is, and is to come. Don’t pray because you feel you should. Pray because you want to. That could be 1 minute that could be 15.

What I do:

12:30 Daily Mass
3pm Rosary
6pm Divine Mercy Chaplet
9pm Bible Study/Praise + Worship/Group prayer

Also some Bible reading and others quick prayers thrown in throughout
 
Last edited:
Start small. Schedule 10 minutes everyday for prayer. Find a place that is quiet and comfortable, but not sleep inducing. Once that becomes consistent add 5 minutes every few weeks until it also becomes a pattern. Discipline is key. I would just start out with silent prayer and scripture reading. After a few months you can begin to explore other devotions and practices.
 
Really? I would think the opposite that you should pray even when you don’t want to. If I only pray when I want to I could easily sometimes go weeks at a time without praying.

Yes, Matthew 6:5-15! I need to remember that more easily.

Wow, that’s an impressive schedule! I do like the idea of keeping things at the same time. My work schedule fluctuates quite a bit making this hard but I may see what I can come up with. I’m sure that helps you stay the course a lot more easily to keep the same schedule.

Thanks for the advice!
 
Last edited:
This seems like a good discipline that is easily obtainable! Thanks for the suggestion!
 
I would liken one’s prayer routine to a diet or workout plan. One size does not fit all. We have different body types with different needs depending on our makeup and activity level. Same is true of our prayer lives, we all have different temperaments and inclinations and things that will work better for us. So the key principle is find what you can do most days, and then do it, even if you do it badly. Faith is an act of the will, and it is a virtue, so it is habit that grows it. Thus, consistency is the goal. Perfection is not going to be possible for us in prayer in this life. But consistency will help us grow little by little into who God wants us to be.

-Fr ACEGC
 
Have a goal in mind. Just pick one or two goals and build your prayer life around them.

It’s similar to designing an exercise program - what is your goal? To get more flexible, build more muscle, train for a specific event, improve your cardio, lose weight? You would pick activities and amount of time based on your goal. It doesn’t mean you can’t ever do anything else (for example, you’re training for a swim meet but sometimes you like to play tennis with your friend so you play it though it’s not directly related to swimming). But it does give you some focus and sense of achievement.

For praying you might have a goal like: pray every day for a specific cause, or learn to pray LOTH, or meditate more on Christ’s Passion, or learn to pray more spontaneously, or do a certain devotion over time, etc. I primarily pray for souls in purgatory, so most of my prayer activities revolve around that. I also do First Friday and First Saturday devotions each month, and Miraculous Medal and Rosary devotions every week.

Once you have a goal and the amount of time you want to spend daily, just pick some appropriate prayer activities and do them. Also remember to talk with God throughout the day like he is your friend or family member. Doesn’t have to be long talks, just a thank you or a sentence here and there.
 
Last edited:
Saint Francis De Sales said that true devotion is not in the form or words of our prayers but in the love we have in our heart for the Lord and our neighbor.

Some days all my prayer is “Jesus I trust in you.” And I will repeat that prayer at different moments of the day. If I did that daily with tru love for Jesus in my heart, that would be more powerful than saying a rosary daily out of routine.
 
Pray as you can not as you can’t. I stick to a discipline of morning and evening prayer and a full rosary once a week (if not a partial rosary each day). If I don’t stick to that routine I know I will make excuses.

The Angelus is a good prayer to use to get started with a routine. It’s only short but for me has always been a beautiful recollection of the Incarnation and all that surrounds it. Traditionally said at 6am, 12 noon and 6pm but you can adapt the times or just aim for one each day. (From saying the 6pm Angelus I then added Evening Prayer, then started saying the 6am Angelus and added Morning Prayer to it.)

Don’t get too bogged down in thinking you have to do x,y,z devotions; what works for one person won’t work for another. Ultimately ask ‘Is this leading me to a deeper relationship with the Lord?’ - if it is keep at it; if it’s becoming a block maybe look at something different.
 
You might like to try making short visits to Jesus in Tabernacle at your local Catholic Church. That can be easy for some. Pop in for a few minutes, whatever days you can, as time allows. Even once a week, Jesus will appreciate your visit and talking to him for a few.
 
Someone above mentioned an inconsistent work schedule making it difficult to schedule prayer times. You might try working around meals even if they’re at different times each day. The type of prayer you choose might come just before breakfast or right after dinner. You might schedule something as soon as you get home from work or just before bed. Even if the times change there will be a connection to help maintain consistency.
 
Marie16 said:
Meaning how long you should spend in daily prayer, what to do daily, where to pray, what devotions to practice, etc?

Hopefully that isn’t a silly question. I find my prayer life very inconsistent, sometimes I’m really excited to spend time with God and sometimes I want to run the other direction. I know I need consistency but I’m not sure how to make a plan for what that consistency should look like.
Click to expand...
No, it is not a silly question. We all struggle with our prayer life, some mostly so, while some may be able to pray privately consistently.

St. Mother Teresa spent about three hours in private prayers daily. She said they were not something dramatic that happened when she prayed but more so they were something that she had to do. In other word, perseverance allowed her to continue consistently with her daily prayer.

Personally I would make a point to pray with a minimum time duration per day. I would try to do it, which I call my personal ‘quiet time’ at an appointed time in my day. It can be early in the morning or perhaps late at night but a the duration and the time/hour of the prayer remains constant.

It is easier that way for me. The question is, am I always successful or faithful to my prayers? Perhaps, there lies the answer to your question.

Do not feel bad if you miss pretty much of your prayer time because prayer, while important, is but a part of our spiritual Christian life. There are others. Trying to be holy can be a whole lots of things but they should compliment each other and help us through in our spiritual journey.

God bless.
 
@Marie16 , you ask " How do you figure out what your personal prayer life should look Like ?

I don’t .

The Holy Spirit is the source of prayer .

The Holy Spirit is the Teacher and Guide, the Divine Helper.

How do I cooperate with the Holy Spirit in prayer ? By using as few words and rules as possible .

Weak being that I am , I need a few rules to discipline myself in prayer .

Weak being that I am , I need to use as few words as possible or I may end up thinking that my words are more important than the words of the Word in my prayer .

God instructs us to say , " Speak Lord . Your servant is listening " not " Listen Lord . Your servant is speaking " .

When The Catechism of the Catholic Church was first published many Christians from various traditions said that its last section , the section on Christian Prayer , was the best book ever to have been written on prayer .

It is .

Please read it .

Part of that section teaches : " Christian prayer is a covenant relationship between God and man in Christ. It is the action of God and of man, springing forth from both the Holy Spirit and ourselves, wholly directed to the Father, in union with the human will of the Son of God made man. In the New Covenant, prayer is the living relationship of the children of God with their Father who is good beyond measure, with his Son Jesus Christ and with the Holy Spirit. The grace of the Kingdom is “the union of the entire holy and royal Trinity . . . with the whole human spirit.” Thus, the life of prayer is the habit of being in the presence of the thrice-holy God and in communion with him. This communion of life is always possible because, through Baptism, we have already been united with Christ. Prayer is Christian insofar as it is communion with Christ and extends throughout the Church, which is his Body. Its dimensions are those of Christ’s love. "
 
JamalChristophr said:
You might like to try making short visits to Jesus in Tabernacle at your local Catholic Church. That can be easy for some. Pop in for a few minutes,
Click to expand...
If you want to try this, be aware that in USA and at least some places in Canada or UK, the churches are generally locked unless there’s a scheduled Mass, Adoration time, or other activity such as funeral, choir practice etc occurring in the Church. Cathedrals, shrines, and Newman Centers are more likely to be open to the public during daily business hours. Other than daily Adoration, the best time to visit with Jesus is usually before a Mass. After a Mass they can get in a hurry to lock up, unless another Mass is happening shortly.

If you can find a church that has daily Adoration, then you should be able to visit Jesus during the day, but He may be in a separate chapel from the main church, or even in an entirely separate building, and you may need an access code in order to get in. Some of them restrict access to the regularly scheduled adorers after certain hours. I’ve found that churches are not always diligent about posting all the information about Adoration on their web sites or in their bulletins, or sometimes they don’t want to publicize information for security reasons, so you may need to ask people or call the parish office for information. A couple of churches I visit have the Adoration chapel so hidden away that if you are not super familiar with the church complex, you won’t know it’s there.
 
Last edited:
Dear Rob,

Thanks for being the one finally to mention the Holy Spirit!!! Also thanks for quoting the section on Prayer given in the Catechism, it is excellent! I kept reading replies until I came to yours, and now I hope not only Marie reads it but others on the Forum as well.

The Holy Spirit was sent to the Church by the Father and the Son to bring the Church into all Truth. It amazes me that we can neglect Him in seeking help for our “prayer life”

“Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of Your Faithful. Kindle in us, the Fire of Your Love…”
 
Last edited:
If we are praying to God, it is impossible to somehow skip over the Holy Spirit, because every prayer going to God is going to invoke the Holy Spirit necessarily as being a person of the Trinity. Each prayer to God or to any of the three persons of the Trinity will necessarily involve all three persons of God.

In other words, we don’t have to pray specifically to the Holy Spirit in order for the Holy Spirit to come into our prayer life. Many people do, including myself (I invoke the Holy Spirit before reading Scripture, during the Flame of Love Rosary, and as part of every Glory Be prayer I say daily), but if you are praying to Jesus, to God the Father / “Father God”, or simply to God, the Holy Spirit will receive the message as well.

I don’t mean to say that it’s not fruitful to sometimes pray directly and meditate on the Holy Spirit, but if someone is more comfortable praying to Jesus because they relate to His humanity or concentrate on His passion, or praying to “Father God” because they relate to the father imagery or the Our Father, their prayer life is not going to be somehow lacking because they don’t choose to pray directly to the Holy Spirit.
 
Last edited:
Build yourself up into a routine. After ~40 days of consistently praying when you wake up, you should notice sometime in the morning if you don’t end up doing it. Your mind go into autocorrect mode if you don’t do what you’re accustomed to doing. If you end up missing a day, keep back on track the next.

Journaling is useful for anything related to habit formation.

And just keep reminding yourself that God is the same regardless of your particular mood. We have a strong tendency to project our personal feelings onto the world and allowing it to color things a certain way. God loves to hear you just as much when you’re tired or apathetic as when you’re zealous. Consistency in the faith when our emotions are incooporative is a sign of virtue. A normal human being has highs and lows throughout the month.

Prayer at any time is good but it is especially good first thing in the morning.

Peace.
 
Last edited:
MariaChristi said:
Dear Rob,

Thanks for being the one finally to mention the Holy Spirit!!! …"
Click to expand...
Thanks , @MariaChristi .

I must give credit to where it’s due .

Much of my post I put down to the influence of a Benedictine monk of Ampleforth Abbey , Father Ian Petit OSB . He was in the same year as Cardinal Basil Hume who as Abbot was appointed Archbishop of Westminster .

He ministered for a while in our diocese and I knew the parish priest , another Benedictine Monk of Ampleforth Abbey , of the parish where Fr Petit lived

It’s hard to speak adequately of Fr Petit . His preaching was the most powerful and yet the most gentle I have heard .

I am pleased that my mum and dad were able , in their 80s , to spend a weekend of prayer with him .

There is an obituary and short video of Father Ian below . The Holy Spirit certainly used him in very fruitful ways .

http://www.plantata.org.uk/obits/barry/petit_i.htm

 
Last edited:
I tried many, many practices and schools of prayer.

Starting with the excellent books on Prayer by Fr Dubay “Prayer Primer” and “Deep Conversion, Deep Prayer”.

Ended up, my extemporaneous prayer that came with me from my pre-Catholic days is still my primary form of prayer. Other than that, it is the Divine Office for me, and then a few different chaplet prayers.

Also helps to find your spirituality type. I’ve discovered that in my heart, I’m a Jesuit 🙂
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top