How do you find Joy?

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Every year at New Years Mass, I ask God for his gift to me for the year. It might of course be my imagination, but I usually get an answer that is really lived that year. “Dying to self” was a really hard year. This year, I was so happy to hear “joy.” What a great year–I was excited.

In the last two months, I’m been miserable with morning sickness. Then, I had a miscarriage. The details of life often feel overwhelming. I am struggling with depression.

So, I thought maybe I heard wrong. But, I believe that He has confirmed to me that Joy is my gift this year. Apparently, my perception of Joy must be wrong. Of course the year is young.

Can anyone help me to understand spiritual joy better? Personal experiences of finding joy would help, too.
 
Well, for me, I found supernatural joy by reading Dark Night of the Soul because I was experiencing that and didn’t know what was happening to me at a certain time but after realizing it’s what was happening to me, boy, I’ve changed from dark to light.
 
I find that Joy comes with being united with God’s will.

I usually experience the most joy when my sufferings are the worse by united my sufferings with those of Christ.

Have you asked God to let you see the child that you miscarried and now is in Heaven?
 
JMJ,

I’m so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. It must be so difficult but please keep turning to God. I joined a prayer group at my church a couple of years ago. In talking to the lady next to me she said that losing her baby turned her from “going through the motions” in her spiritual life to a real love for God. As we sat through several speakers, I noticed that more than half of them mentioned losing a child. I can’t imagine a deeper hurt in this life than losing a child and yet all of them grew closer to God through that experience. I love the advice of the previous poster, to focus on your child in heaven and to ask them to pray for you.
Also, I too this year have felt that I should be more joy-filled. We have everything, or material needs are met, health, family, our faith, our church and above all the creator of the universe, our God who loves us SO much. We are spoiled and yet I’m lacking in joy. Recently, I been drawn to spending time in front of the blessed sacrament and just in the past few days, I’ve realized that I have been filled with joy. The blessed sacrament is so transforming. Here is a prayer that I wrote that has summarized finding the joy of God everyday.

The IMpact

Every encounter, everyday
See Jesus in everyone.

Everywhere, everyday
See God in everything.

Every thought, everyday,
Follow the Holy Spirit in everyway.

Every moment, everyday,
Know that God is loving you.
 
This might more of a message for me but…
Just after posting, I reached into my pocket for something and pulled our a pamphlet that I grabbed the other day (called Blessed Mother Theresas and the Eucharist) and I saw this quote by her.

“Spend as much time as possible in front of the Blessed Sacrament and He will fill you with His strength and His power. Tell Him, ‘Come to our hearts Lord and stay with us’. Then you will become instruments of His love, peace…and…joy.”
 
If I understand the CCC correctly, joy is the fruit of the work of the Holy Spirit in bestowing its gifts upon us. So to me, I always feel greatest joy when I am doing things to accept God’s graces (Eucharist, prayer, confession, charitable work, etc.)
 
I am sorry about your miscarriage that is such a difficult thing to overcome.

I once heard that people who laugh at funny movies release endorphins and that just may help balance out your hormones.
You are depressed because of course you miss your child but your body is out of whack. Rent some funny movies and laugh till you cry.

Patch Adams did have a good thought on that.

As far as joy it is from the heart. It is a wonderful virtue and I am sure once your hormones are balanced again you will find joy.

Read the lifes of the saints some did have to overcome very deep inner pain while living the dark night of the soul.

But my advice laugh, love and pray.
 
I liked the book, “Your Best Life Now”, by Joel Osteen. I found a great message of Hope and Joy throughout. The message does not include anything that necessitates feeling bad. It’s pretty much one dimentional, but I think sometimes we need that. We all suffer, but we don’t always need to hear how our suffering is to be expected. Sometimes I need to hear only Hopeful encouragement. It helps you to get up, dust off the ashes and move on through the the tough times. There are lots of great references to passages in the bible. I’m 36 and I didn’t know that God loved me that much. Some people have read the book and think it’s too much about gaining wealth… I saw the wealth and material stuff mentioned, but that’s not the meat of the book. There’s a phrase I like to say before praying and it’s, “The beginning of a prayer is knowing that God Loves me.” That really helps me to feel connected to God when I pray. I feel like I’m more receptive to His wisdom, guidance and Love when I begin a prayer with that sentiment. I also felt that the Joel Osteen book really drove that point home for me. I am Loved by God more than I can ever think or imagine. That reality helps me when I’m down. Try the book.
 
These quotes from scripture help

I have told you this that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. John 15:11

… weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning. Psalms 30:5

You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Psalms 16: 11
 
Depression clouds your ability to see the good things. I know this from personal experience.

A combination of prayer, medication and therapy is the best. Light exercising when you don’t feel ill helps too.

Sometimes you really have to see the small joys in each day. When people are doing well they don’t see all the wonder in the little things. The birds, a flower, a smile from a stranger.

One of the things that helped me through my depression was trying to find one small thing like that in each day. I remember walking past a pond when I was depressed. It was just a small pond next to a parking lot, really, but it was pretty and had some ducks swimming in it. They looked so at peace as they gracefully glided across the water that I had to stop and look. I thought to myself, ‘If I can appreciate the small things like this, depression cannot completely take away my ability to feel good.’ So each day I would try to find something special like that, something that reminded me that life was worth living. That was years ago. Today I am doing well overalI. Now I appreciate those little things more than I did before I became depressed, so I wonder if God was trying to call my attention to the simple things.

JMJ Theresa, you are in my prayers.
 
JMJ Theresa:
But, I believe that He has confirmed to me that Joy is my gift this year. Apparently, my perception of Joy must be wrong.
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This thread began on February 27th, which is the feast day of St. Gabriel of Our Lady of Sorrows. He had a great love and devotion to Mary, the Sorrowful Mother. Seemingly ironically my saint book says, “His special trademark was joy. He was always happy and spread that happiness to those around him.” Theresa, I’ll ask the intercession of St. Gabriel of Our Lady of Sorrows to help you find joy amidst your sorrows. And my sympathies at the loss of your baby.
 
Thank you all for your replies. I have much to meditate on. I feel inspired by these ideas and encouragement. I am grateful for prayers.
 
T.A.Stobie:
I find that Joy comes with being united with God’s will.

I usually experience the most joy when my sufferings are the worse by united my sufferings with those of Christ.
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I agree with TA Stobie.
I have found my greatest joy in life in being in alignment with Gods plan and uniting my sufferings to Christ’s. And with it comes the sister of joy…Hope.
 
😛 Hello eveybody!

I hope you are all happy today. Well i want to share with you a secret that i found to be the best way to find JOY throughout the years ahead. I find reading the bible and understanding the teachings of Jesus gives me all the tools i need to feel safe, and that is why i feel down at times cuz i don’t know what is to come, but if i look forward to the coming of the Lord Jesus i know everything will be great! Life here on earth is only for a short while but when we die our souls will be taken somewhere either Heaven or Hell, we have to know Jesus and ask him to save us, i know we all want to enter the kingdom of Heaven, then we will no longer fear what we fear here on earth. I hope and pray this helps. 👍
 
The simple thing is that joy cannot be extinguished by hardship and suffering. Joy is indestructable because it’s source is in Love. There is a saying around where I live and it goes like this ‘We don’t have much money but we do laugh’ For me joy is linked with the indestructability of that which is the prevailing human spirit and the true human spirit is to be in the likeness of Christ who is Love itself. Therefore joy is not a state of happiness because happiness is a myth, to pursue happiness is to always be disappointed, but to pursue joy is to be always finding joy wherever we find ourselves in life. Joy is a state of mind , heart and soul that persists even when it is offended and persecuted, therefore we can say that though God is greatly offended , angry and saddened by man’s transgressions God continues to exist since all time in perfect joy Himself. The Eucharistic joy is present only in the breaking of Christ for many, therefore true joy lies in the same place for His disciples.
 
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blessedstar:
The simple thing is that joy cannot be extinguished by hardship and suffering. Joy is indestructable because it’s source is in Love. There is a saying around where I live and it goes like this ‘We don’t have much money but we do laugh’ For me joy is linked with the indestructability of that which is the prevailing human spirit and the true human spirit is to be in the likeness of Christ who is Love itself. Therefore joy is not a state of happiness because happiness is a myth, to pursue happiness is to always be disappointed, but to pursue joy is to be always finding joy wherever we find ourselves in life. Joy is a state of mind , heart and soul that persists even when it is offended and persecuted, therefore we can say that though God is greatly offended , angry and saddened by man’s transgressions God continues to exist since all time in perfect joy Himself. The Eucharistic joy is present only in the breaking of Christ for many, therefore true joy lies in the same place for His disciples.
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I don’t know. I think Job was pretty much joyless when he was suffering. I also sense from Jesus’s comments at the end that He was lacking in Joy at the end. Do you really think Jesus was full of Joy when He double checked with God if the whole thing was going to be necessary? And in the Psalms, I get a sense that David had HOPE through his struggles, but not all that much Joy.
 
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jennifer101:
I don’t know. I think Job was pretty much joyless when he was suffering. I also sense from Jesus’s comments at the end that He was lacking in Joy at the end. Do you really think Jesus was full of Joy when He double checked with God if the whole thing was going to be necessary? And in the Psalms, I get a sense that David had HOPE through his struggles, but not all that much Joy.
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Joy was not destroyed by suffering, three days later there was the greatest joy known to man, the ressurection of the Christ, so though He suffered, His joy was not permenantly destroyed by suffering because He had the hope in the joy that was to come. I can be a bit vague when I make comments on such things and I am sorry because after I re-read what I posted I can see why you have commented as you have.

I suppose those who suffered in the hurricane were not joyful about the actual suffering, but their suffering did not destroy their joy and the human spirit. I have understood that though people have suffered greatly such as in the Holocaust, their was great joy over many small mercies. Our Lord must have been joyful to hear the words of the Good Thief and the kindness of Veronica.

Suffering cannot destroy joy.
 
I am so sorry to hear of your miscarriage. My 50 year old brother died of cancer 5 yrs ago and I could not be joyful for a long time afterwards. I started to feel joy by just praising the Lord in the Blessed Eucharist. My dear Mother is still unable to feel joy. I just don’t know why these things happen to such wonderful people, but they do. Blessed are they that mourn, for they will be comforted. My prayers are with you and your family.
 
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blessedstar:
Joy was not destroyed by suffering, three days later there was the greatest joy known to man, the ressurection of the Christ, so though He suffered, His joy was not permenantly destroyed by suffering because He had the hope in the joy that was to come. I can be a bit vague when I make comments on such things and I am sorry because after I re-read what I posted I can see why you have commented as you have.

I suppose those who suffered in the hurricane were not joyful about the actual suffering, but their suffering did not destroy their joy and the human spirit. I have understood that though people have suffered greatly such as in the Holocaust, their was great joy over many small mercies. Our Lord must have been joyful to hear the words of the Good Thief and the kindness of Veronica.

Suffering cannot destroy joy.
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I didn’t say it destroyed Joy forever. But you certainly aren’t going to experiencing Joy at the moment of suffering. We’re human. We’re limited. When Joy is usurped by pain, suffering, heartache of any kind, the best we can really rely on is HOPE. Joy is not a permenant state of being. Hope isn’t either. Sometimes in the middle of a crisis, it’s only FAITH that can last. Having faith can help you locate your failing Hope. Sometimes your faith is challenged. Then you better have a great support team *(friends, church group, priest, prayer) to help you strengthen your faith so you can find your hope and believe you’ll be joyful again.

Suffering can definitly cause a person to lose sight of their Joy. The bible says, “no man can steal your joy”. Basically, you have to be the one who loses it for yourself. It’s a lack of hope, faith, trust in God at very low points that causes it to be lost. But it’s ok. We’re human. Sometimes we just have to call on our faith based community and let God use those folks to remind us that it will be ok. God will use our suffering, our pain, disappointments, loss to our greater good. I like the quote… I forget who said it, “I believe, help my unbelief!” Sometimes you just have to cry out stuff like that to get you through the darkest hours when your Joy, Hope, and Faith are being challenged. That’s a true search for God. Hungering and thirsting are very highly rated by our Lord.
 
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