How do you get a "spiritual director?"

[Deo_Gratias42]

Everyone would do well to have a Spiritual Director!

Unless you want to be a protestant and take the Me and Jesus route.

Sure they would, just as I would do well to have my own personal trainer. That said, I don’t need a personal trainer to get in shape. Most Catholics don’t need a regular spiritual director. They would do good with making frequent use of the sacraments, especially frequent confession (ie: weekly), good spiritual reading from the saints (ie: intro to the devout life), a real commitment to avoid committing ALL sins, and taking their prayer life seriously with not just vocal prayer, but mental prayer as well, and maybe the odd (like once a year) meeting with their priest to make sure they’re on the right path.

While it would be nice for us to all have our own personal spiritual director, there just aren’t enough good ones to go around. Having a bad spiritual director is only going to make things worse.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Deo Gratias, I think your analogy to a personal trainer is right on target. It’s not something everyone needs, but is essential for some people. A spiritual director is equally not something everyone needs but is essential for some.

There’s a lot that someone can do on their own – regular prayer practices, spiritual reading, joining in various kinds of parish groups and activities. But honestly, how many people show up when there’s a parish retreat day or scripture study? And – as you said – how many people participate in Reconciliation on a regular basis?

It’s frustrating because I know how beneficial my spiritual director is to my life. I’d like to see everyone have one. But then you have to be willing to follow through, just like the athlete has to keep exercising between sessions with the trainer.

 

[cheezey]

Sure they would, just as I would do well to have my own personal trainer. That said, I don’t need a personal trainer to get in shape. Most Catholics don’t need a regular spiritual director. They would do good with making frequent use of the sacraments, especially frequent confession (ie: weekly), good spiritual reading from the saints (ie: intro to the devout life), a real commitment to avoid committing ALL sins, and taking their prayer life seriously with not just vocal prayer, but mental prayer as well, and maybe the odd (like once a year) meeting with their priest to make sure they’re on the right path.

While it would be nice for us to all have our own personal spiritual director, there just aren’t enough good ones to go around. Having a bad spiritual director is only going to make things worse.

I absolutley agree with your last thought. I, for one, do best with a one on one, not limited to the confession, thus I want an advisor, and I know that may be difficult to do. In fact, I already know who I’d like it to be, but not planning on it. Besides, it would help greatly to be Catholic, and that’s a wash this year. ergh…

 

[Joy2day]

No, I guess I’m not sure. I don’t know any serious, faithful and knowledgable Catholics in real life (our parish is very liberal.) Living out the faith is really hard when most people I know are of the cafeteria variety. I guess I am actually looking for anyone who can offer support in living the faith fully and faithfully.

I’m with u there- in the same boat i mean.

 

[Brendan_64]

No, I guess I’m not sure. I don’t know any serious, faithful and knowledgable Catholics in real life (our parish is very liberal.) Living out the faith is really hard when most people I know are of the cafeteria variety. I guess I am actually looking for anyone who can offer support in living the faith fully and faithfully.

So you’re not actually sure that you actually need a Spiritual Director, but you think the parish ought to provide you with one anyway

I don’t want to appear dismissive here, but if it’s just a case of you wanting to live out your faith better then that puts you in the same boat as almost all of us. We’re all tryinf, in our own way, to live out our faith more fully. I also think that tro dismiss most of the fellow Catholics in your parish as ‘cafeteria variety’ seems quite uncharitable and might have just a touch of arrogance about it. We are not islands bent on developing our own personal realtionship with God, we are a Church, we are a community, we develop our faith in communion with others. It is not primarily about our own individual relationship with God.

Perhaps your Parish Secretary did have a point when she said, “What if everyone wanted that?”

If all you want is a 30 minute discussion once a month then why not just take advantage of the confessional box? Surely a 10 or minute chat, 3 or 4 rimes a month with your priest at confession would be more appropriate. Your priest is there to guide you and (unless you’re seriously considering taking becoming a Nunb or something similar) the I would have thought that the Sacrament of confession, combined with a chat with the priest in confession, would be the usual way to go about such things. With my priest, he chats so much, sometimes it’s hard to get out of the Confessional box.

Are you really sure that your circumstances warrant something so much beyond what most other lay people need, as they strive to live out their faith more fully?

God Bless

 

[PatriceA]

thecarmelite.wordpress.com/2010/07/28/what-is-spiritual-direction/

I think the above link might help you in your search for a spiritual director.

I completely disagree with the previous poster that said a spiritual director needs to be a priest.

Do a search on the internet for Catholic spiritual direction and many sites may point you in the direction you need to go. Many are formally trained and will do consultations over the phone if there aren’t any in your area that you can meet face to face.

I hope you find one!

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

I completely disagree with the previous poster that said a spiritual director needs to be a priest.

If you just want to talk about praying, etc, it doesn’t matter. It has to be a priest if it’s getting into matters of conscience.

 

[Oneofthewomen]

If you just want to talk about praying, etc, it doesn’t matter. It has to be a priest if it’s getting into matters of conscience.

No,it needs to be a priest, if and only if you are going to “confess” sins and want absolution.

My current spiritual director is a deacon. He cannot hear my confession or absolve my sins, but if you think that we do not talk about “matters of conscience” I fear you have a gross misunderstandng of what “spiritual dierction” really is.

 

[PatriceA]

If you just want to talk about praying, etc, it doesn’t matter. It has to be a priest if it’s getting into matters of conscience.

I do believe you have a very narrow definition of spiritual direction. Perhaps this link will help you osv.com/tabid/7631/itemid/7500/What-is-a-Spiritual-Director.aspx.

If I was only looking for someone to help me examine my conscience and help me prepare for the Sacrament of Reconciliation, then of course a priest is whom I’d seek out. But that’s not what the OP seems to be asking.

 

[Beachcomber]

I’ll second those who suggested asking at the diocese. Our diocese helps with connecting people with spiritual directors. The directors are priests, sisters, and lay. It’s also a matter of finding the right one you ‘click’ with. You might have to try a couple before you have a good fit, as it were. I’ll keep you in my prayers.

 

[JackieMom]

So you’re not actually sure that you actually need a Spiritual Director, but you think the parish ought to provide you with one anyway

I don’t want to appear dismissive here, but if it’s just a case of you wanting to live out your faith better then that puts you in the same boat as almost all of us. We’re all tryinf, in our own way, to live out our faith more fully. I also think that tro dismiss most of the fellow Catholics in your parish as ‘cafeteria variety’ seems quite uncharitable and might have just a touch of arrogance about it. We are not islands bent on developing our own personal realtionship with God, we are a Church, we are a community, we develop our faith in communion with others. It is not primarily about our own individual relationship with God.

Perhaps your Parish Secretary did have a point when she said, “What if everyone wanted that?”

If all you want is a 30 minute discussion once a month then why not just take advantage of the confessional box? Surely a 10 or minute chat, 3 or 4 rimes a month with your priest at confession would be more appropriate. Your priest is there to guide you and (unless you’re seriously considering taking becoming a Nunb or something similar) the I would have thought that the Sacrament of confession, combined with a chat with the priest in confession, would be the usual way to go about such things. With my priest, he chats so much, sometimes it’s hard to get out of the Confessional box.

Are you really sure that your circumstances warrant something so much beyond what most other lay people need, as they strive to live out their faith more fully?

God Bless

Not sure how to respond to this, as I feel hostility coming from you. There are things I have not mentioned here - I am not just looking for the parish to “provide” me with a spiritual director for nothing. I simply wanted to know HOW one can go about finding one. Lots of people on CAF have them. Confession is offered very minimally in my parish, but I’ll try that route. Anyway, thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut.

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

I do believe you have a very narrow definition of spiritual direction. Perhaps this link will help you osv.com/tabid/7631/itemid/7500/What-is-a-Spiritual-Director.aspx.

If I was only looking for someone to help me examine my conscience and help me prepare for the Sacrament of Reconciliation, then of course a priest is whom I’d seek out. But that’s not what the OP seems to be asking.

Jordan Aumann, author of the book, Spiritual Theology, states the following with regards to spiritual direction and spiritual directors:

Is it necessary that the spiritual director be a priest? We can answer without hesitation that normally the director should be a priest. There are many reasons for this.

First of all, the priest usually has both the theoretical and the practical knowledge required for the direction of souls. Second, the function of spiritual director is closely related to the office of confessor. A third reason is the grace of the priesthood. Fourth, the practice of the Church forbids any person who is not a priest, even religious superiors to probe into matters of conscience.

Nevertheless, it is possible that in a particular case spiritual direction could be given by a prudent and experienced person who is not a priest.

This book is based off the writings of St. Thomas Aquinas, St. Teresa of Avila, and St. John of the Cross, as well as Canon Law.

 

[cheezey]

Jordan Aumann, author of the book, Spiritual Theology, states the following with regards to spiritual direction and spiritual directors:

This book is based off the writings of St. Thomas Aquinas, St. Teresa of Avila, and St. John of the Cross, as well as Canon Law.

Something, or more likely, Someone is telling me it should be a priest. At least for me.
But I gotta tell you, I seriously needed spiritual guidance in a hospital once. A Catholic hospital. They couldn’t get the priest. “Surely, there is another,” I asked, but no priest came. I asked several times and then went down the line. "PLEASE! "From priest to someone with a divinity degree to just someone closer to God than me. Cutting it close before surgery, a woman walks in. I was scared out of my mind. She was apparently a lay nun. I really scratched my head over that one. But her description of what she does made sense to me at the time. And she was profoundly helpful. I would be even more marred from that event had it not been for her.

 

[Oneofthewomen]

Jordan Aumann, author of the book, Spiritual Theology, states the following with regards to spiritual direction and spiritual directors:

This book is based off the writings of St. Thomas Aquinas, St. Teresa of Avila, and St. John of the Cross, as well as Canon Law.

Deo Gratias, would you please give a page citation for the quote from “Spiritual Theology”.

Also, I am a student of Canon Law, and no where, at least that I can remember, does it say anything about only priests giving spiritual direction, let alone this quote from the book you mention

the practice of the Church forbids any person who is not a priest, even religious superiors to probe into matters of conscience.

Truth be told, there are many priests in my area who do not “do” spiritual direction, as they are not trained. Not every priest will be a good spiritual director, just as every priest is not a good preacher. The lay people (sisters included) and deacons who are spiritual directors in my area out-number the priests who offer spiritual direction 3:1.

I would hope you don’t mean to be, but you are being dismissive of all the religious brothers who offer spiritual direction. I’m thinking specifically of some Franciscans and a couple Jesuits I know who are not priests, and who are some of the most sought-after spiritual directors in their area.

That said, I do believe that for some people having a priest for a spiritual director can be a good thing, however it is not, and should not be, the only option.

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

Deo Gratias, would you please give a page citation for the quote from “Spiritual Theology”.

Also, I am a student of Canon Law, and no where, at least that I can remember, does it say anything about only priests giving spiritual direction, let alone this quote from the book you mention

Truth be told, there are many priests in my area who do not “do” spiritual direction, as they are not trained. Not every priest will be a good spiritual director, just as every priest is not a good preacher. The lay people (sisters included) and deacons who are spiritual directors in my area out-number the priests who offer spiritual direction 3:1.

I would hope you don’t mean to be, but you are being dismissive of all the religious brothers who offer spiritual direction. I’m thinking specifically of some Franciscans and a couple Jesuits I know who are not priests, and who are some of the most sought-after spiritual directors in their area.

That said, I do believe that for some people having a priest for a spiritual director can be a good thing, however it is not, and should not be, the only option.

It’s from page 380. There is a citation referencing “Cf. Codex Juris Canonici, can. 530” for the part about anyone other than priests being forbidden from probing into matters of conscience.

BTW: I never said that non-priests can’t do spiritual direction. Just that non-priests are forbidden from probing into matters of conscience, so if one is planning on getting into matters of conscience, a priest would be necessary.

 

[Oneofthewomen]

It’s from page 380. There is a citation referencing “Cf. Codex Juris Canonici, can. 530” for the part about anyone other than priests being forbidden from probing into matters of conscience.

BTW: I never said that non-priests can’t do spiritual direction. Just that non-priests are forbidden from probing into matters of conscience, so if one is planning on getting into matters of conscience, a priest would be necessary.

I’m sorry, but I am not finding page 380 (the online version I found only has 314 pages) and Canon530 does not speak of spiritual direction at all.

Can. 530 The following functions are especially entrusted to a pastor:
1/ the administration of baptism;
2/ the administration of the sacrament of confirmation to those who are in danger of death, according to the norm of ⇒ can. 883, n. 3;
3/ the administration of Viaticum and of the anointing of the sick, without prejudice to the prescript of ⇒ can. 1003, §§2 and 3, and the imparting of the apostolic blessing;
4/ the assistance at marriages and the nuptial blessing;
5/ the performance of funeral rites;
6/ the blessing of the baptismal font at Easter time, the leading of processions outside the church, and solemn blessings outside the church;
7/ the more solemn eucharistic celebration on Sundays and holy days of obligation.

Also please define what you mean by “matters of conscience”.

As I have said before, my spiriutal director is a deacon, and we talk about all sorts of things that impede my spiritual journey, including my patterns of sinfulness, and how I can help to change them through my prayer life. I would consider that a ‘matter of conscience’, and to be honest, I find that my SD can give me much more insight as to living in the “real world” as he is a husband & boss, as well as being a deacon, so he has a better idea than a priest, who has never been married, as to what my struggles are and give me concrete advice as to how to combat them with “real world” experience.

To be clear, I think that a priest spiritual director would be the best option, if it is possible. I would, however, not want someone to think “Well, there are no priests available, so I guess spiritual direction is off the table.”

 

[englishredrose]

But as I referred to before, certainly in the Anglican Church, not all priests are Spiritual Directors. I was quite suprised when our priest said he isn’t one in that he ‘teaches’ so well. He has guided me onto the path that is right for me.

I have suggested that you might like to contact the Diocesian Office/ Bishop’s Secretary and perhaps they know where to sign post you. Again I know in the Anglican Church it doesn’t necessarily mean you will get a priest. But no doubt if you specifically wanted a priest then you can request but may have to wait longer. There may be Monks who can offer spiritual direction especially if its the actual direction you want ie Benedictine style then there may be someone close by or within reach that offer spiritual direction via Benedictine style.

It quite simple to ring up or send an email. It was for me when I had a go half a dozen years ago. I was actually given a priest and he would have been quite good accept he was very busy as his church was also the town civic church so had all mayoral functions ontop of parish life. Our Priest at that time knew what I was doing and I able to take things back to him in confession which proved very useful as he was able to work on that which meant I got fuller picture. But like I say, the spritual director was very busy and he did move and he is still reachable but I have also moved on in my faith from that need at that time and am happy to have one off’s with the current priest who knows me indepth from my emails and is able to specifically guide even though he isn’t a director.

Are you really sure that is what you are wanting because you are using a lot of time on here going through each dicussion when you could have been on the phone and arranged to make contact with someone by now about it. Even if not actually met them, you could have had the first meeting date arranged if it is something you are really seeking. It is quite a straight forward process and Catholics have far more resources so it seems, so it may be fruitful for you to make a deal with yourself and give yourself upto saturday to have arranged a first contact with someone rather than discussing it all here. You got access to internet, that is obvious because you are here. Go for it. You will only know by trying