How do you handle the anti-Catholic Catholics in your family?

[mark_a]

I must admit that it gets to me.

Those in the family that have no religion often take jabs at the Catholic Church. The young adults try to temp or bully or pressure the Catholic kids into all kinds of things. I feel that behavior is somewhat “normal”, but it ticks me off.

But what really gets to me is the constant barbs or jabs about the priest abuse scandles, chastity, abortion, communion, mean nuns, etc., etc., etc., etc.

I normally defend without making a scene, but I must admit I would love a couple of insulting zingers to shut them up.

How do you handle it?

 

[purplesunshine]

You handle it by being firm and honest. You will probably find that you have more friends than enemies.

I have a liberal aunt who’s child, my cousin, is a pro-choice OBGYN and who’s already had the opportunity to move monies to provide for abortions.

However, it took me quite a while to realize my other aunt is VERY devoutly catholic and prays for strength as she treats abused children for medical problems. Every day she goes into a job that could rip your heart out beucase God wants her there. She’s very faithful.

Yet, she never mentiones it unless prompted beucase she’s HUMBLE and that’s one thing that God often brings to those close to Him…humility…its needed to work hand and hand with God.

A person walking with God in humility won’t say, “I helped a suicidal abused kid realize God loves them.” but someone who isn’t doing God’s work will be very proud and want to illuminate others as to their achievements.

 

[purplesunshine]

But what really gets to me is the constant barbs or jabs about the priest abuse scandles, …] mean nuns, etc., etc., etc., etc.

About this note…you need to take on a bit of humility yourself about priest abuse scandles and mean nuns. The priests did horrible and nearly unforgivible sins. It dosn’t matter if teachers offend percentage wise more than priests or if it happened a long time ago. It was a horrible and aggregious act and that sould be acknowleged.

As far as mean nuns. I know too many people who were beaten by cold, uncaring nuns. Its not as damaging as sexual abuse but the physical and mental abuse they dished out was harmful, too. They damaged the church.

We just have to deal with it, the best way is to acknowlege that there was grave and irrepreable harm done and then point to the future where children are protected and loved, not harmed.

 

[mark_a]

You handle it by being firm and honest. You will probably find that you have more friends than enemies.

I have a liberal aunt who’s child, my cousin, is a pro-choice OBGYN and who’s already had the opportunity to move monies to provide for abortions.

However, it took me quite a while to realize my other aunt is VERY devoutly catholic and prays for strength as she treats abused children for medical problems. Every day she goes into a job that could rip your heart out beucase God wants her there. She’s very faithful.

Yet, she never mentiones it unless prompted beucase she’s HUMBLE and that’s one thing that God often brings to those close to Him…humility…its needed to work hand and hand with God.

A person walking with God in humility won’t say, “I helped a suicidal abused kid realize God loves them.” but someone who isn’t doing God’s work will be very proud and want to illuminate others as to their achievements.

I don’t understand what you are getting at.

 

[purplesunshine]

That you may not have as many dissenters as you think. Those who do love christ tend to be humble about their works. Those who do not like to advertize their ways of life.

 

[Cracker_Mom]

I must admit that it gets to me.

Those in the family that have no religion often take jabs at the Catholic Church. The young adults try to temp or bully or pressure the Catholic kids into all kinds of things. I feel that behavior is somewhat “normal”, but it ticks me off.

But what really gets to me is the constant barbs or jabs about the priest abuse scandles, chastity, abortion, communion, mean nuns, etc., etc., etc., etc.

I normally defend without making a scene, but I must admit I would love a couple of insulting zingers to shut them up.

How do you handle it?

Insulting zingers or barbed retorts are tempting, but what wins hearts & minds are our loving actions & Faith.
We have lived in the very un-Catholic part of the South & have seen conversions in part prompted by humble Catholics living out their Faith.Folks know we have something special when they see how it affects our lives & actions.
But, I do hear you. It’s very aggravating to hear the anti-Catholic stuff and the very worst offenders are fallen away Catholics.Maybe they in part are feeling a bit of guilt, and who know’s what hurt/injuries have occurred to them? If we respond in anger-even if it seems justified- it only sends them further from reconciliation.

 

[mark_a]

That you may not have as many dissenters as you think. Those who do love christ tend to be humble about their works. Those who do not like to advertize their ways of life.

That would be nice and probably is true of distant, seldom seen family.

After re-reading my post, I didn’t make it clear that these folks are local an I see them at least weekly.

 

[mark_a]

It’s very aggravating to hear the anti-Catholic stuff and the very worst offenders are fallen away Catholics.

It is very aggrevating. Plus, these folks I’m speaking of consider themselves devout Catholics and are very vocal about their Catholicity or “Catholicness”.

 

[purplesunshine]

That would be nice and probably is true of distant, seldom seen family.

After re-reading my post, I didn’t make it clear that these folks are local an I see them at least weekly.

Umm. When I lived at home I saw my extended family quite frequently, thank you. And yet, I didn’t know those catholics who devoted their life to serving God and those who were steeped in secularism. Becuase the vocal half were secular I believed they were all like that. The non-vocal half-including my parent-who are “good” catholics often go along with the vocal half just to appease them and not start fights. Also, different people are in different places. My brother refueses to call himself Catholic but follows all the rules and dosn’t drink. Both of the aforementioned aunts will get drunk. Its a mixed bag.

 

[estesbob]

I must admit that it gets to me.

Those in the family that have no religion often take jabs at the Catholic Church. The young adults try to temp or bully or pressure the Catholic kids into all kinds of things. I feel that behavior is somewhat “normal”, but it ticks me off.

But what really gets to me is the constant barbs or jabs about the priest abuse scandles, chastity, abortion, communion, mean nuns, etc., etc., etc., etc.

I normally defend without making a scene, but I must admit I would love a couple of insulting zingers to shut them up.

How do you handle it?

Like St Francis Assissi recommended. “Preach the Gospel at all time, if necessary use words”

In the end it is not pithy comebacks or defense and /or apolgy for mean Nuns and homosexual priests that sway people-it is the way you practice your Faith.

 

[shannyk]

St. Francis and St. Therese had like minds, she said

Why should we defend ourselves when we are misunderstood and misjudged? Let us leave that aside. Let us not say anything. It is so sweet to let others judge us in any way they like. O blessed silence, which gives so much peace to the soul! ~St Therese

OP I have vehemently anti Catholic family members as well, I know your pain which is so often amplified during the Holiday season. Logically I know Sts Francis and Therese are right, but it can be hard to be quiet sometimes…prayers for you and family!

 

[Norseman82]

I must admit that it gets to me.

Those in the family that have no religion often take jabs at the Catholic Church. The young adults try to temp or bully or pressure the Catholic kids into all kinds of things. I feel that behavior is somewhat “normal”, but it ticks me off.

But what really gets to me is the constant barbs or jabs about the priest abuse scandles, chastity, abortion, communion, mean nuns, etc., etc., etc., etc.

I normally defend without making a scene, but I must admit I would love a couple of insulting zingers to shut them up.

How do you handle it?

Well, when the talk turns to “mean nuns”, you could pull out a ruler and start waving it around…

Seriously, though, without knowing all your family members up close, it is hard to gauge what “zingers” will work on whom. But it does seem that defending yourself without making a scene as you are doing right now is really the best route to go. I will just offer a few thoughts:

1. As far as the priest abuse scandals and “mean nuns”, unfortunately, that is a real problem we have to acknowledge and deal with.
2. Above all, before you do anything rash, research the myths and defenses against them and become well-grounded and well-educated. Facts in and of itself present the best “zingers” of all.
3. How old are you in relation to the “bullies”?
4. Is the “bullying” or “pressuring” of the kids related to trying to get them to do something immoral? If so, then you have every right to be outraged. You may have to take the kids aside to “undo the damage”.
5. Confrontation in and of itself is not wrong and sometimes is neccessary, especially if you have to protect the younger kids from scandal and/or if you are dealing with males and have to play “alpha dog” games. A last resort would be to ask if they are saying the things they are saying because of guilty consciences over something they should not be doing in the first place like if they are cohabitating or disobeying the Church’s marriage laws).
6. Download some photos of aborted babies from www.priestsforlife.org to your cell phone in case you need it in an abortion discussion and you feel it is necessary to show what abortion really does.
7. If you have to avoid them, you have to avoid them.

 

[whatevergirl]

Like St Francis Assissi recommended. “Preach the Gospel at all time, if necessary use words”

In the end it is not pithy comebacks or defense and /or apolgy for mean Nuns and homosexual priests that sway people-it is the way you practice your Faith.

Amen, well stated. Bob, I admire how you can always say the perfect thing, in such a succinct way!

 

[Liberanosamalo]

You can defend your beliefs and the Church by quietly and patiently telling them that we don’t judge Catholicism by those who didn’t live up to its teachings.

Even some of Christ’s very apostles denied Him and betrayed Him. We cannot expect less in this century.

Repeat every time they bring it up. Eventually they’ll grow bored trying to provoke you.

I love how people point at bad Catholics as an excuse for their own choices. Maybe those “bad Catholics” would have been even worse without the benefit of Catholicism.

 

[mark_a]

You can defend your beliefs and the Church by quietly and patiently telling them that we don’t judge Catholicism by those who didn’t live up to its teachings.

Even some of Christ’s very apostles denied Him and betrayed Him. We cannot expect less in this century.

Repeat every time they bring it up. Eventually they’ll grow bored trying to provoke you.

I love how people point at bad Catholics as an excuse for their own choices. Maybe those “bad Catholics” would have been even worse without the benefit of Catholicism.

Ahhh. Just what I was looking for.