How do you handle vulgar language in public

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Lots2Learn

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Grrrr…I get so angry at how disrespectful people can be, especially around children. We were shopping in a second hand furniture store today and two employees and the owner (middle-aged woman) were sitting at a desk near where I was browsing w/my two children. They were talking about celebrating a friends 21st birthday and one young man said something so horrific…I was so shocked. Thank goodness my kids have no idea what he was talking about.

I made eye contact w/the owner, and left.

I wish I could have said something to this young man…to make him realize how inappropriate he was being. I always get flustered and tongue-tied though…so even if I had something appropriate to say, I don’t know that I would be able to get it out.
 
I agree, there is way too much vulgar language in this society. I tell people that I dont appreciate that kind of talk. For the most part they will apologize for it, but there are a few that it just provokes to swear even more. We need to address it with them, pray for them, and just be an example to them that that sort of talk is evil. It’s even more challenging when it is someone in your family!!
God Bless!
M
 
Doesn’t usually bother me. Unless it is around the elderly, religious, etc.
 
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Affirmed:
Doesn’t usually bother me. Unless it is around the elderly, religious, etc.
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what about children as the OP says?
 
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Affirmed:
Doesn’t usually bother me. Unless it is around the elderly, religious, etc.
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Really? Even around children? Cursing is one thing, but the conversation was inappropriate even for most adults.
 
That goes without saying, under etc. But I should also add that a lot depends on the level of vulgarity. What I may not consider to be vulgar, someone else might. Which is a lot of why I won’t usually make a point of correcting strangers.
 
OK, if we are talking absolute filth, the kind that one might see in a chat room designed for adults, ok. Unacceptable no question. If we are talking a minor infraction, even around children, or the aforementioned groups, it doesn’t bother me.
 
I ain’t no saint, goodness knows, so in a sense, I agree with Affirmed on saying that it doesn’t bother me. But it’s only with certain people - “the company you keep” - as one would say.

It does bother me when vulgar language, explicit talk, etc. is displayed around children and elders. It bothers me if my children converse in this manner. And I have no qualms correcting people about it, either through a look, or I say “Excuse me! There are children here!” (of course, away from the children). And man! Am I doing that often!

You conveyed your disapproval in an appropriate way, even if the words didn’t surface for you. I hope this person got the message!

Tonks40
 
OK, that’s understandable. My kids are used to hearing the occasional curse word…what they really are offended by is taking our Lord’s name in vain. They heard someone on TV say, “We’re in New York, I can’t believe it, OMG!!” My six year old said, “I am never going to New York, it makes you say bad things.”

I just wish I had it in me to try and make people aware of how offensive they are…hold them accountable for the way they are behaving in public…
 
When I’m at work and someone uses excretory or sexual terminology as an exclamation, I tend to respond by saying something like: “Not here, please…”

When someone takes the Lord’s Name in vain (which happens painfully often), I usually have to be a little more direct and tell people that it offends me.

I don’t usually bother to correct strangers.
 
If I know the person (even slightly) I say “watch your mouth please” if it doesn’t stop I excuse myself if possible. Some people just plain have no respect for themselves or others. There is no way you can change this type of “low-life” without becoming like them. On the other hand some good people slip up and just need a gentle reminder.
 
There are FCC rules about cursing and using abusive language on ham radio frequencies, but occasionally some idiot who shouldn’t have a license pushes the envelope. When this happens, a common response is “do you kiss your mama with that mouth?” That usually ends the problem, at least on the radio.

I’ve used that line a few times off the air too, sometimes it also works, once I was loudly told to **** off.
 
What really disturbs me is when I hear school age children (7-12) using the F word and a slew of other choice 4 and 5 letter obscenties while talking to their friends. I live across the street from an elementary school so I hear it every day. My 11 year old can’t STAND to hear that kind of language. I told her not to say anything to those kids because these are the ones who pick it up from their parents, are called those horrible names by their parents (I hear that everyday too) and she doesn’t need to have a psycho kid or mom, never the dad…these kids are lucky if they know who their father is, threaten her or her family. She already had 2 kids in the 4th grade bully her. The one boy slapped her across the face with his leather glove and pushed her while in line on the stairs. The one girl shoved her against the wall while in the coatroom threatening to come after her with a baseball bat after school. These were the 2 in the classroom that used the bad language even in front of the teacher and picked my daughter because she stood up for the quiet kids.

Vulgar language today is used so commonly that people forget what having respect for other people is. They don’t care if they’re f-ing out their kids or friends (girlfriends, boyfriends) in public. All they care about is venting their anger and making sure everyone knows they are POd. It’s disgusting if you ask me.

I teach my kids that vulgar language is ugly, no matter how beautiful a person may look on the outside. If they use language that sounds like trash, they look like trash. Anyone who has to use foul language in their speech, peppering every other word or phrase with vulgarity, isn’t someone who’s even worth talking to.

But that’s just my opinion.
 
I occasionally work with vocabularily-challenged people who like to use cuss words. I like to ask them to “watch the potty mouth” and it usually helps.
As far as in public, sometimes I will physically cover my child’s ears and give a loud tisk and sigh. Or, my older kids will say rather loudly “That person just cussed!” And I say, not so loud, to them… “We dont talk like that though, it’s disrespectful to God.”

And about school… my older two girls, ages 9 and 11 learned all the cuss words there. Charming isn’t it. Of course, I am the one who has to explain what they all mean, and why we dont talk that way.
 
I had no problem at all taking some 20- somethings to task in the bleachers at Wrigley Field when I was with my kids. One of them had the gall to object on the basis of location–asking what I expected given where I was. However–I must have hit a nerve with one young man in the crowd–because he spent the rest of the game reminding his friends there were kids around if the language started getting ugly.
 
In public when there are kids around I definitely have problems with it. Since I don’t have kids I guess I really don’t notice it too much. It does remind me though of being at a friends house playing Risk… about four of us would play and the language went downhill fast :eek: . When my friend had kids we went to the back room, closed the door and played there even though the child was 6 mo. old.

That same friend told me a story about how his dog had chewed up his slipper and not thinking he muttered “F&^%ing dog”. No sooner does he turn around but he hears his 4 year old daughter say in a little sweet voice “F*&%ing dog!”. He said if looks could kill the look he got from his wife would have leveled about half the city. Amazing how our kids pick up things isn’t it? 😉
 
I get upset when it’s said around my children. Usually I ignore it the first time thinking that maybe they didn’t know that children were nearby. But I start thinking of what I’ll say to them if they continue. So far I haven’t had a case when I had to say something.
 
To the OP, I’d call back the furniture store, speak to the owner and tell he about the incident, adding that you feel that as a result you can’t return to his store since it isn’t a good place to shop with children. That ought to get his attention. He needs to train his employees to behave respectfully or get new help (of course, the offender may have been his own son!).
 
Island Oak:
I had no problem at all taking some 20- somethings to task in the bleachers at Wrigley Field when I was with my kids. One of them had the gall to object on the basis of location–asking what I expected given where I was. However–I must have hit a nerve with one young man in the crowd–because he spent the rest of the game reminding his friends there were kids around if the language started getting ugly.
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How rude! :eek: On behalf of bleacher bums everywhere, I hope you understand that all Chicagoans are not gutter mouths!:nope:
 
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OutinChgoburbs:
How rude! :eek: On behalf of bleacher bums everywhere, I hope you understand that all Chicagoans are not gutter mouths!:nope:
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Trust me–I know! I AM a Chicagoan temporarily displaced on the left coast–which is why when the gutter mouths in question started dropping the F-bomb within earshot of my kids I assumed they were probably tourists!!
 
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