How do you identify and remove evil from your life?

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Whatevergirl, you are a beautiful woman inside and out - it is no wonder people would be drawn to you. For a Godly man, he would be attracted to you as a sister-in-Christ, worhty of respect and friendship - but because so many people are caught up in a fallen and lustful worldview, they turn a chance for friendship into someone that must be conquered. Don’t let let the devil use this a chance for you close yourself off to people. Keep on radiating love and warmth. I have had a problem with being a young woman who tries very hard to be kind to everyone, and sometimes men mistake my friendliness with being “available” them. I have been really trying to find a balance between not being cold, but also not giving anyone false ideas. It can be a struggle, especially because my immediate social circle is Catholic young adults who are all in on the whole JPII view of the world, so I can be warm with them without much fear. The rest of the world doesn’t always think in these terms, I am often reminded when something like this happens to me.
 
MercyMia said:
Whatevergirl, you are a beautiful woman inside and out - it is no wonder people would be drawn to you. For a Godly man, he would be attracted to you as a sister-in-Christ, worhty of respect and friendship - but because so many people are caught up in a fallen and lustful worldview, they turn a chance for friendship into someone that must be conquered. Don’t let let the devil use this a chance for you close yourself off to people. Keep on radiating love and warmth. I have had a problem with being a young woman who tries very hard to be kind to everyone, and sometimes men mistake my friendliness with being “available” them. I have been really trying to find a balance between not being cold, but also not giving anyone false ideas. It can be a struggle, especially because my immediate social circle is Catholic young adults who are all in on the whole JPII view of the world, so I can be warm with them without much fear. The rest of the world doesn’t always think in these terms, I am often reminded when something like this happens to me.
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*Oh, Mia…thank you. Yes, this is IT! Exactly my issue. I might come across as friendly, but not inviting in a lustful way, for pete’s sakes. I didn’t take this man seriously…why? Because I wouldn’t do this, and my mind doesn’t leap to this. This might be old hat for him…asking anyone and everyone out, and a married woman is ‘‘just another.’’ Maybe God wanted me to wake up, and snap out of the naive way I can be. Or maybe WISH to be. You hit the nail on the head with coming up with a balance…not being cold, not being too friendly. I am the same way with the whole group…so, I know deep down it’s not me, but it’s embarassing in a way, I can’t describe. *
 
Khrystyne said:
If your husband would not feel comfortable with you being in this group, maybe this is another confirmation from God that He doesn’t want you there. When you are not honest with your husband (because the two become one) then you are lieing. And when you lie you come one step closer to the father of lies and…then he can harm you…because you are in his range and not protected by your husband…God. Food for thought…😉

I would say please God first unless you want a few go arounds with the devil and whomever and whatever he wishes to harass you with. You won’t really be able to discern this sort of evil because it will be on a much more personal level concerning your weaknesses and personality etc… Know too that the devil hates marriage so he’s gotcha with this…this in comparison to “real” peoples problems is not pale…in fact by the mere casual perception your guard is just where the devil wants it. I would talk to my husband. 😃

God Bless!
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*Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut.

Two questions…and I’m not arguing with you, I truly want to know the anwers…how do I show a casual perception (because I desperately want to change that if so) and two, what good will come of telling my husband? Not what good…but, why does he NEED to know this, is really more my question. Like what is his knowing, going to change? And again, I am not arguing with you, :o haha I truly want to understand this mindset.*
 
Mercy touches on something really true. You are a good and wonderful person. Innocent too in a rare way for a grown woman. Some truly evil men are attracted by that. Not to become better themselves, but to spoil it. They were the little boys who always liked to walk down the street after a snowfall and ruin everyone’s perfect snowy yard with their footprints. Just because.

In this respect, the “wives be submissive to their husbands” fits perfectly. In this instance, it would be because HE knows men. He would advise you to be where you are morally and physically safe. (A family member had a stalker… it is NOT fun.) In that respect, I would think twice about why God puts the man as the head of the household.

Or maybe your husband should go running with the group just to glare at the man.

I would tell your husband about it. And tell him why you don’t want to quit the group. He might actually have a good idea how to handle it. Wouldn’t hurt if you got some phone calls from hubby while you were around the jerk.

Some of the anxiety is probably because you’re not used to not sharing everything with your man. Ask his advice on how to deal with it.

Already this guy is coming in between you in a very subtle way.
 
It upsets me that because of HIS poor actions you’re being deprived of someone you obviously enjoy. Why shouldn’t he be the one who has to quit the running group?! Is there anyone else in the running group that you could talk to? Maybe to see if this has been a problem before or if someone else has experienced this to give you support? If you love this group so much perhaps put effort into getting him to leave by letting everyone else know what type of scumbag he is. Or ask the group if there’s another group in the area that you could run with as he’s making uncomfortable advances and you don’t want to be around him anymore. If he’s done this with you, who knows who else he’s been a bother to.

I would tell your husband just because keeping secrets isn’t a good idea. Since this secret could cause a change in routine (by attending the running club and then quitting) I’m thinking your husband will eventually find out what’s going on and being upfront about it in the beginning might help in the longrun.

Good luck with your decisions.
 
Liberanosamalo said:
Mercy touches on something really true. You are a good and wonderful person. Innocent too in a rare way for a grown woman. Some truly evil men are attracted by that. Not to become better themselves, but to spoil it. They were the little boys who always liked to walk down the street after a snowfall and ruin everyone’s perfect snowy yard with their footprints. Just because.

In this respect, the “wives be submissive to their husbands” fits perfectly. In this instance, it would be because HE knows men. He would advise you to be where you are morally and physically safe. (A family member had a stalker… it is NOT fun.) In that respect, I would think twice about why God puts the man as the head of the household.

Or maybe your husband should go running with the group just to glare at the man.

I would tell your husband about it. And tell him why you don’t want to quit the group. He might actually have a good idea how to handle it. Wouldn’t hurt if you got some phone calls from hubby while you were around the jerk.

Some of the anxiety is probably because you’re not used to not sharing everything with your man. Ask his advice on how to deal with it.

Already this guy is coming in between you in a very subtle way.
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😦 Yes, you are right. I am going to tell him…that is exactly it, we tell all…we don’t have secrets, and I feel very sad over ‘‘having’’ to keep this to myself, at least up to this point. My husband has often called me naive many times in our marriage, Liberano. He said it’s selective though, I don’t** want ***to see the bad in people, it’s not that I can’t. *
 
I’m a pretty nice person too…but after someone crosses major boundaries (in situations similar to yours) and doesn’t apologize or see any harm in persisting, I turn into The Ice Queen :p. I can make all of my body language say “Don’t.You.DARE”. It does come off as mean sometimes, but it’s how I handle it, and it works for me.

You sound really sweet though, I’m not sure if you could pull that off! 😉

Good luck, and I hope your dh (he really does sound dear!) can help you figure out what to do.

Blessings, WG 🙂
 
I’ve been reading this thread with some interest; as a former long-time bachelor, I came across more than my share of married women who, unlike you, didn’t take their wedding vows seriously at all.

When I was my 20’s, I was quite shocked at the women who made it quite clear that they were looking for a little “fun” on the side, but then I realized that it’s just the way some people are. (The line, “I still love my husband but I’m not in love with him” was a big tip-off, I learned.)

I won’t go into any more detail than that, but it doesn’t really surprise me that this guy hit on you. For one thing, he’s a dog…well, more like a pig. His morality is obviously lacking, but that’s hardly your fault, so don’t blame yourself about it.

But I’d also bet that he’s met more than a few married women who bat their eyes and say, “Oh, I’d *never *do anything like that…probably, maybe, I don’t know, oh, let’s have lunch tomorrow and I’ll tell you how my husband prefers football to me. And by the way, did anyone ever tell you that you have big brown eyes?”

Clearly, you aren’t in that group–but to be honest, you’re a lot more rare than you may realize.
 
These are the times where I must thank the good Lord that I am a guy and that I’m not very attractive. I can say without a doubt I have never had the problem of girls hitting on me, although honestly, since I’m single, I wish they did. 😃

I do make it a point, though, that once I find out a girl I like has a boyfriend, all interest must stop. It’s not easy, this one girl I had a major crush on got a boyfriend, and while I still have that residual interest in her, I would never ask her out while she’s already in a relationship.
 
Liberanosamalo said:
Wouldn’t hurt if you got some phone calls from hubby while you were around the jerk.
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Yes, and then you could tell your DH, “I’m so glad you called, Honey - that jerk is bothering me right now - wanna talk to him?”

Betsy
 
presidentjlh said:
These are the times where I must thank the good Lord that I am a guy and that I’m not very attractive. I can say without a doubt I have never had the problem of girls hitting on me, although honestly, since I’m single, I wish they did. 😃

I do make it a point, though, that once I find out a girl I like has a boyfriend, all interest must stop. It’s not easy, this one girl I had a major crush on got a boyfriend, and while I still have that residual interest in her, I would never ask her out while she’s already in a relationship.
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Excellent! Stay this way. You will meet the right person someday. 🙂 Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut…
 
srlucado said:
I’ve been reading this thread with some interest; as a former long-time bachelor, I came across more than my share of married women who, unlike you, didn’t take their wedding vows seriously at all.

When I was my 20’s, I was quite shocked at the women who made it quite clear that they were looking for a little “fun” on the side, but then I realized that it’s just the way some people are. (The line, “I still love my husband but I’m not in love with him” was a big tip-off, I learned.)

I won’t go into any more detail than that, but it doesn’t really surprise me that this guy hit on you. For one thing, he’s a dog…well, more like a pig. His morality is obviously lacking, but that’s hardly your fault, so don’t blame yourself about it.

But I’d also bet that he’s met more than a few married women who bat their eyes and say, “Oh, I’d *never *do anything like that…probably, maybe, I don’t know, oh, let’s have lunch tomorrow and I’ll tell you how my husband prefers football to me. And by the way, did anyone ever tell you that you have big brown eyes?”

Clearly, you aren’t in that group–but to be honest, you’re a lot more rare than you may realize.
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*Yes, I appreciate you chiming in, an interesting (very) perspective. I have a feeling this is old hat to this guy…he is rather polished in his approach. I mean, if this was a first time only thing? He wouldn’t have been so smooth, and I can see through it all. It’s not that I can’t…but there is a side of me, that feels bad for depraved people. I have made mistakes in my life, not on this level, but others…that I went to confession over, and felt horrible about. I sometimes think about that before jumping down someone’s throat who has bad intentions…I don’t know if that makes me gullible, or naive…but, that’s kind of how I have always been. Unfortunately, my compassion, is mistaken for something else, in this scenario. I wish that wasn’t the case…well, he is gone for this week, and I’m hopeful that after our exchange, (I was not happy clearly…and didn’t mince words) he will calm down, and he’ll back off. I will pray for this actually…I pray that he stops this for his own soul, too. He doesn’t realize what he’s doing. I’m reminded of Christ on the cross…saying to God…’‘Father, forgive them for they don’t know what they’re doing.’’ I know this doesn’t translate to tolerance, however, of bad behavior. I am so grateful for your replies, everyone.

My dh actually had a brief affair with a married woman, back in his college days, long before meeting me. She was in her 30’s…it was one of those Mrs Robinson kind of things. He deeply regrets it, and said that if he had to do that one moment in life over again, he’d beg God to remove it from his life. Sin is always fun, in the beginning. The devil wouldn’t be able to get away with much, if we could immediately detect deceit.

I haven’t brought it up tonight, really not the right time. He’s not feeling well at all, and I ended up running on the treadmill…but I will bring this up. You’ve all shown me that it’s a good idea. Thanks so much for taking the time to help me, today. :grouphug:*
 
That’s just creepy. I’m like you, Whatevergirl, in that I try to believe the best about people, try to see the good in them. BUT…this would disturb me very much, and I know that I would tell my husband about it, because we are open about everything.

IF you see that guy again, could you possibly tell him that to you as a Catholic, marriage is sacred and a sacrament? And maybe briefly explain what that means? He might laugh at you but so what.

A guy who used to work at a local grocery store was known for flirting with women, married or not. He’d make comments full of innuendo, without actually saying anything bluntly. He never asked me out, but he gave me the creeps. I mentioned this to a friend, who knew exactly whom I was talking about. Ugh. Some guys just want to go after the forbidden fruit. The sad thing is, they have no idea, probably, how this is affecting their soul.

I will pray for you, and for this man.
 
whatevergirl said:
*Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut.

Two questions…and I’m not arguing with you, I truly want to know the anwers…how do I show a casual perception (because I desperately want to change that if so) and two, what good will come of telling my husband? Not what good…but, why does he NEED to know this, is really more my question. Like what is his knowing, going to change? And again, I am not arguing with you, :o haha I truly want to understand this mindset.*
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Maybe this thread is wrappd up already, but I’m just going to elaborate on a few things. I too have been in situations with particular men whom are very nice and engaging and I responded in like manner, but to my surprise I was ‘naturaly’ giving a signal. This could be debated of course, I grew up with brothers so I’m really comfortable talking with men and connecting…although I’m not married…I’m not plugging myself here, so bare with me. 😃
Guys are guys and when you open yourself up to a guy who is secular let’s say then all is fair in love and war. He hasn’t been open to the Holy Spirit so he is naturaly reacting and responding to his natural inclinations, pray for you and your husband as prayer brings two people closer together. Forgive me for sounding like an encylopedia, but the calling of a wife is a ‘help mate’ and in praying for your husband rather than so much for the other guy will in itself show the glory of Christ to the running guy. When you are married, especially being Catholic your calling first and foremost is intimacy with your husband, friendship. When you find yourself opening up to another man that is not your husband on a certain level you are crossing boundaries that are meant to sustain your marital friendship and that is crossing over into the adversaries field. Being a woman is a delicate situation, we like to connect…by way of the creators design…BUT when you are married you have to protect yourself and your husband from scavengers lets say who might pick up on something you might not be aware of OR who would like to test the waters.
I was once really good friends with a man who recently got married, but now we are not close anymore due to the very fact that he is now married AND out of respect for his marriage we no longer communicate as we used to. Naturaly. Marriage is sacred.

If you go onto www.AveMariaSingles.com the founder describes in great detail how after being married you should not have any outside “intimate” relationships with the opposite sex. It was profound for me when I heard him speak about this, it makes perfect sense. Marriage is HOLY. 👍

God bless You!
 
Sorry late coming to this thread…I think I would find my inner righteous anger and unleash it. Honestly you’ve nicely told the guy no more than once but he’s obviously being a creepy weasel. I can be loud when someone is completely out of line. Honestly I would be loud, I would be extremely direct and I would be in earshot of others in the group. It’s time for this man to be the uncomfortable one instead of you.
 
Late coming to the party…

To get evil out of your life, put Rat-stalking RK on your ignore list 😛

Nah, I agree that you should tell the group. When el-creapo shows up to run again, be very vocal and outspoken “I am a married woman and I do NOT appreciate your advances”. Likely, the gentlemen in the group will take over from there.
 
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