How do you identify and remove evil from your life?

  • Thread starter Thread starter whatevergirl
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
*haha you’re all funny…😛

Let me clear something up…first, to the poster who suggested I confided in this guy. I didn’t. We run as a group, sometimes we hang out, a few of us, afterwards…But, never with him. He walked me over to my car one day, after our workout was done…and that’s when all of this started. Compliments, trying to flirt with me…this is what this guy has done. I don’t confide in men other than my husband…this guy is not interested in a deep relationship with me, believe me. :rolleyes: He’s made it abundantly clear what he wants…and I’m not buying what he’s selling, so hopefully, he’ll get it. I feel better today about things…I didn’t tell my husband last night, he’s working tonight…but when the time is right, I’ll bring it up. Thanks for letting me air this here, and giving me your advice.

Rascalking…you can be quite intimidating when you want to be. Who knew? :D*
 
rayne89 said:
Sorry late coming to this thread…I think I would find my inner righteous anger and unleash it. Honestly you’ve nicely told the guy no more than once but he’s obviously being a creepy weasel. I can be loud when someone is completely out of line. Honestly I would be loud, I would be extremely direct and I would be in earshot of others in the group. It’s time for this man to be the uncomfortable one instead of you.
Click to expand...
I think you are right…it might not be what I want to do, but it might be the NECESSARY thing to do. Good point, rayne. thanks!
 
And call me nuts, call me naive…but I AM surprised that a man would be so blunt as to his intentions towards a married woman. I don’t know why I feel like everyone should know I’m married, and that ‘‘label’’ should be enough. I am feeling better with my situation, I won’t be bullied by the guy…but, I still feel troubled that the world is so depraved. I fear for my kids…it’s so hard to raise them right, and then you know they will have to deal with people who have bad intentions.
 
*:rotfl: about kage ripping a phone book in 1/2 hahaha that’s funny! kage…are you into martial arts or something? I never knew. 😃

Okay…I brought it up…over the phone to my husband, who’s at work. I know, my timing is impeccable, no? :rolleyes: He was silent for a little bit, seemed annoyed…he wasn’t happy to hear this, but he said…as long as you are saying ‘‘no’’ and keeping that message consistent, that’s all that matters. He said something pretty insightful too…’‘this guy likes that you’re afraid, why are you afraid of this jerk?’’ I said, I’m not afraid…he said, ‘‘if you’re thinking of leaving the group, YOU’RE AFRAID.’’ I hadn’t thought of it like that.😊 He said, stand up to him…and ask him if he likes hockey…and when he looks at you with a weird look, tell him my husband wants to hang out with you…do you like hockey? You could come over and watch it with him. haha I laughed I said…seriously, honey. He said, seriously, if he says yes, he is either the dumbest man on earth…or the bravest…then, I will have to meet him. But, I’m betting on him saying no…My dh said that basically, this will drive the message home that I discussed him with my husband, and that my husband wants to meet him, but it doesn’t seem confrontational…he will be confused, then. My husband is more diabolical than I thought. :ehh:

He said…don’t be afraid of anyone in this world, ANYONE. You can handle yourself, don’t leave the group…he doesn’t have that power.

I did not even CONSIDER that …he also said some guys like to intimidate women, they think they’ll wear you down this way.

Anyways, conversation done…and it wasn’t as bad as I thought. Well, at first, it went as I had thought…he seemed annoyed…not upset, but annoyed. And at the end of the conversation he said …this isn’t the first guy i’m sure, and probably won’t be the last…don’t be afraid by men like this…don’t show them fear. That’s why I was annoyed with you. (I really love my husband, he really surprises me sometimes.) :o

So…guess I’ll invite him over for hockey lol…I hope my husband is right, and the guy leaves me alone after this. *
 
Haha your husband is hilarious. Just think how awkward it would be if the creep accepted and showed up at your door! :eek: He did have an interesting point that I would not have considered though.
 
:clapping: Your husband is very cool. Please share if you all have a get together.😃
 
Whatevergirl,

Your husband is a gentlemen-the highest compliment in the world, in my book.
 
Khrystyne said:
:clapping: Your husband is very cool. Please share if you all have a get together.😃
Click to expand...
*LOL–Yeah, it’s a laugh-a-minute at my house. :hypno: If this guy agrees to come…? Can you even imagine? My dh strongly doubts he will…but he said, I’ll just buy more beer. I said…he’s not coming over here, stop. *
 
*Thanks again to all here who gave me advice…🙂

You’ll find this funny, I did…he comes home last night from work, we briefly talked again about this…and he let out a ‘‘muuuuaaahaaaa’’ with a scheming look in his eye. ha I said…’‘you are SO weird.’’ :o*
 
OMGOSH what an awesome response from your DH! Sounds like you’ve got a pretty smart guy!!! 👍 😃
 
Sharon, do you have any idea how blessed you are to have such a husband??? So many husbands really love their wives but are totally clueless. Yours loves you and really understands. That’s so wonderful.

Betsy
 
whatevergirl said:
So…guess I’ll invite him over for hockey lol…I hope my husband is right, and the guy leaves me alone after this. *
Click to expand...
It depends on how sick this guy is, it may encourage him.:eek: This guy is living in a different world. He sounds like Larry from “Three’s Company” Stand up to him and don’t be afraid, but I wouldn’t play any games with him, who knows how he would react?
 
*I don’t know, betsy…there is a part of me that feels he was too nonchalant about it…like we have never been a couple who causes one another to become jealous, we’re not like that…but, there seemed to me to be a focus on my not being able to stand up to the guy (which isn’t entirely true) and not enough on the fact that…a man wants to sleep with my wife? Like did that thought even go through his mind, or doesn’t he even care? We’re not talking about I stopped at Subway and a random stranger asked me out…whom I’ll never run into again…we’re talking about a guy I see a few times per week in the group. And my husband is a jokester and I love that about him…but not everything is a joke…and while I like the outcome of the conversation, I can’t help but wonder that he really doesn’t care if another man wants his wife. Enlightening to say the least. I mean…if you told your husband this, would he make the whole thing into a joke, and only focus on what you **could have done **in the situation? *
 
whatevergirl said:
*I don’t know, betsy…there is a part of me that feels he was too nonchalant about it…like we have never been a couple who causes one another to become jealous, we’re not like that…but, there seemed to me to be a focus on my not being able to stand up to the guy (which isn’t entirely true) and not enough on the fact that…a man wants to sleep with my wife? Like did that thought even go through his mind, or doesn’t he even care? We’re not talking about I stopped at Subway and a random stranger asked me out…whom I’ll never run into again…we’re talking about a guy I see a few times per week in the group. And my husband is a jokester and I love that about him…but not everything is a joke…and while I like the outcome of the conversation, I can’t help but wonder that he really doesn’t care if another man wants his wife. Enlightening to say the least. I mean…if you told your husband this, would he make the whole thing into a joke, and only focus on what you **could have done ***in the situation?
Click to expand...
Of course we woman want to feel protected by our husbands, and maybe that’s why you feel a little confused about why your husband was such a jokester about it. I mean, in another time and place this whole episode might be the stuff of sword fights and duels. Something I have noticed - when guys get hot-headed over a man coming on to their woman, it often times has to do with a threat to their own ego and not the woman. I think your husband’s reaction shows that he is very secure in his masculinity and his marriage. I am sure that he does care about another man wanting his woman, but he trusts you and is secure. We tend to bring out the big defense when we are feeling challenged, and it seems like husband trusts you too much to feel challenged. Feeling of jealousy are feelings of insecurity. It is sort of like when you as a parent let go of your children on certain issues rather than hover, it is a sign that you feel you have done a good job as a parent and prepared them for the situation. When we are secure in our marriage we don’t feel the need to “hover” either. I also think the point your husband made about you feeling threatened by this man is very good. It shows that he is more concerned with his wife’s well-being than his “turf” being invaded. His focus is on you, not on the other guy. Focusing on every guy who wants to sleep with your wife would leave a man insecure and neurotic. Really, I think your husband handled this well.
 
*Mia, you make some great points–thank you. It’s not about jealousy, insecurity, etc. I know what you are saying, though. I wouldn’t want my husband to feel that way…no, it’s more than this was just ‘‘another task to resolve.’’ You know? Like, he didn’t bother to ask me how this made me feel…he heard the facts of the situation, and then was annoyed with how I was going to potentially quit the group over it, and then proceeded to give his solution. (asking the guy over to hang out with him) Yes, it’s funny…yes we laughed. But, I didn’t feel like he was very gallant about it…that’s how I feel. Like just didn’t seem to show much concern over it…except annoyance with how I was thinking of handling it. Meanwhile, I already had words with the guy recently, so he made me feel like in some way, I don’t want to go to him. He shouldn’t have been annoyed…he should have been concerned with how I felt about it. He should also have been more…I dunno. When we were dating, he was different. 😦 Like he would have been more concerned, and not a jokester AT ALL over it. *
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top