How do you instruct the ignorant about abortifacients?

[SourGrape]

Yesterday, in a conversation with a new friend I made, I learned she and her husband are using an IUD for birth control. Since she is not religious, I explained to her that my husband and I practice NFP since it is not an abortifacient, to which she said, “To be honest, the IUD is and it’s extremely hostile to new life, which is exactly the reason I wanted it over a birth control pill.” I was appalled at such an answer but didn’t know what to say or how to say it without destroying our friendship.

You see, my husband is in the military so we move around and it’s been hard for me to make true friends who actually share our moral beliefs and such, so I’ve just been happy to have finally found someone I can enjoy conversation with over a coffee or watching a movie. We also have a 6 month old son, which makes it a bit trickier for myself to socialize.

Anyway, I actually lost a friend after stating my belief on the sacredness of life and the evils of abortion (she’s a big supporter of abortion, and before that conversation, we never discussed it until she brought it up). I just don’t know how to “instruct the ignorant” on the sacredness of life without offending them because it is such a black and white issue and both sides become defensive. What is one to do? I don’t want to remain silent because I believe we have a duty to speak the Truth and stand up for Life, yet, I don’t want to offend her where she doesn’t want to talk to me again.

When I told my husband about this conversation, he became infuriated about the evils of abortion and how people just don’t care they’re killing their own children and actually wanting to do so. It infuriates me too, but how should I show that?

Anyone else experience this kind of conversation? If so, what did you say? How did your friend react? If not, what do you think you would say in that situation?

Thanks. God bless.

 

[vz71]

“To be honest, the IUD is and it’s extremely hostile to new life, which is exactly the reason I wanted it over a birth control pill.”

Are you sure she is not simply trying to coax you into some kind of argument? That quote sounds very much like someone trying to pick a fight.

 

[Sillara]

Yesterday, in a conversation with a new friend I made, I learned she and her husband are using an IUD for birth control. Since she is not religious, I explained to her that my husband and I practice NFP since it is not an abortifacient, to which she said, “To be honest, the IUD is and it’s extremely hostile to new life, which is exactly the reason I wanted it over a birth control pill.” I was appalled at such an answer but didn’t know what to say or how to say it without destroying our friendship.

You see, my husband is in the military so we move around and it’s been hard for me to make true friends who actually share our moral beliefs and such, so I’ve just been happy to have finally found someone I can enjoy conversation with over a coffee or watching a movie. We also have a 6 month old son, which makes it a bit trickier for myself to socialize.

Anyway, I actually lost a friend after stating my belief on the sacredness of life and the evils of abortion (she’s a big supporter of abortion, and before that conversation, we never discussed it until she brought it up). I just don’t know how to “instruct the ignorant” on the sacredness of life without offending them because it is such a black and white issue and both sides become defensive. What is one to do? I don’t want to remain silent because I believe we have a duty to speak the Truth and stand up for Life, yet, I don’t want to offend her where she doesn’t want to talk to me again.

When I told my husband about this conversation, he became infuriated about the evils of abortion and how people just don’t care they’re killing their own children and actually wanting to do so. It infuriates me too, but how should I show that?

Anyone else experience this kind of conversation? If so, what did you say? How did your friend react? If not, what do you think you would say in that situation?

Thanks. God bless.

I’m afraid that I would destroy the friendship. I would state what is necessary, and if she cannot accept that, then I would let the friendship go.

(I live in Japan, and women to hang out with are few and far between. It is not worth it to let anything slide on THIS issue.)

Hang in there. SourGrape! My prayers go with you.

 

[SourGrape]

No, she doesn’t come across to me as someone who wants to begin fights over these “issues.” My other friend, the one I lost over this kind of argument, was such a person, so it was bound to happen.

This woman seems to believe it’s best for her not to become pregnant since they don’t want a baby right now (if ever), and I don’t really think she has taken the time to consider that life begins at conception, so she is only thinking about “being smart and keeping herself from becoming pregnant.”

Truth be told, I cannot fathom how any thinking person could say that they support and/or practice any form of an abortifacient. I mean it’s like saying, “I support and/or practice the right of a parent to kill his 2 year old child.” But, hey, we live in a culture dominated by Planned Parenthood, where people simply think they can have sex without any “consequences,” and to hell with whatever the means are to get to the ends.

 

[SourGrape]

I’m afraid that I would destroy the friendship. I would state what is necessary, and if she cannot accept that, then I would let the friendship go.

(I live in Japan, and women to hang out with are few and far between. It is not worth it to let anything slide on THIS issue.)

Hang in there. SourGrape! My prayers go with you.

Thanks, Sillara. Deep down inside, I believe you are right. Since I didn’t really stand up at all for life that time around, we’re still on speaking terms and I’m sure she’ll be calling to hang out again. Should I hang out with her or should I just end it now, without going into the huge argument that would, undoubtly, arise if we ever spoke about it again?

I am pretty ashamed of myself for being a slave to my own pride and not standing up for life.

 

[SourGrape]

Great Chesterton quote Sillara! I am a big Chesterton fan too

 

[Scottgun]

I need to correct a potential misconception (no pun intended) because I see it all the time. Church teaching is against ALL forms of contraception, not just the abortifacient ones. NFP is not contraception, btw. it is the “periodic abstinence” that the Church teaches is legitimate.

 

[Sillara]

Great Chesterton quote Sillara! I am a big Chesterton fan too

Thanks. I love Chesterton. I can never decide what my favorite book of his is; I’m glad I don’t have to choose!

As far as ending the friendship before hanging out again, I don’t know. I know that, with me, the issue would be certain to come up again. After all, we’re on Baby #5 right now.

 

[SourGrape]

I need to correct a potential misconception (no pun intended) because I see it all the time. Church teaching is against ALL forms of contraception, not just the abortifacient ones. NFP is not contraception, btw. it is the “periodic abstinence” that the Church teaches is legitimate.

Right you are! Although, those practicing NFP must always pray and discern their reasons for seeking to avoid pregnancy at any given time. Thanks for the point, but for this thread, I really want to stay on topic about how to address the evilness of abortifacients to a secularist. Thanks!

 

[Sair]

Anyway, I actually lost a friend after stating my belief on the sacredness of life and the evils of abortion (she’s a big supporter of abortion, and before that conversation, we never discussed it until she brought it up). I just don’t know how to “instruct the ignorant” on the sacredness of life without offending them because it is such a black and white issue and both sides become defensive. What is one to do? I don’t want to remain silent because I believe we have a duty to speak the Truth and stand up for Life, yet, I don’t want to offend her where she doesn’t want to talk to me again.

When I told my husband about this conversation, he became infuriated about the evils of abortion and how people just don’t care they’re killing their own children and actually wanting to do so. It infuriates me too, but how should I show that?

The thing is, this is absolutely not a black-and-white issue. People who become defensive on the subject of abortion are just inadequately informed about the details of the subject.

The sanctity of life is such a fundamental issue when it comes to the way we live our lives, that any criticism of one person’s interpretation of the issue comes across as a criticism of the individual who makes the choices. For example, there are problems inherent in claiming to be pro-life and yet supporting war.

For those who say that some wars are necessary, I would argue that they are no more necessary than some abortions. I would certainly argue that wars cause more suffering than abortions.

It just depends upon your point of view. There are many that hold to the belief that a foetus is not sentient, therefore does not have the same moral status as a born human being - at least up to a certain point, usually judged to be within the first trimester. There are also many who would argue that one can’t claim to stand up for the rights of foetuses without standing up for the rights of every sentient creature - like whales slaughtered by supposedly ‘scientific’ expeditions, or animals subjected to laboratory experiments - at least not without seeming fundamentally hypocritical.

When it comes right down to it, if you wish to argue for the sanctity of human life, from conception, you have to make people believe that humans have been specially chosen by God to be superior - that is, qualitatively and quantitatively more important - than every other life form on the planet. If you want to convince people that aborting a non-sentient foetus, that has no interest in its own survival nor in the avoidance of pain, is fundamentally wrong, then you have an uphill battle ahead of you.