How do you keep from feeling like a failure as a Catholic?

[reggieM]

The desire to want to do more for God is very good. That’s the working of grace. We might want to pray endlessly and read and meditate and learn constantly. Then we have to live our ordinary life and there’s no time.
So, the desire to do much is a good sacrificial offering in itself.
This a good reason to stick with a reasonable amount of prayer every day – and just keep consistent with that. I agree with another post – morning & evening prayers and the 5 decades daily. Mass on Sunday and weekly confession.
That’s a solid basis for a spiritual life.
In your morning prayer, if you can do a 6 minute meditation every day on some kind of spiritual reading – that is great also.

It’s important to be happy and not feel over-burdened by devotions.

When you get a chance some time, read about some of the saints who were truly failures as Catholics – some for many years – and then they became saints.

 

[Flopfoot]

In my opinion, which might not count for much, as long as you don’t sin, and you fill your responsibilities like going to mass on Sundays, you’re not a failure as a Catholic. You can try to do more than this to go from a ‘pass’ to a ‘high distinction’, and to make up for your imperfections and any past mistakes you might have made (that would otherwise cop you time in purgatory), besides the fact that doing good works and praying is a good thing for you, for others and pleases God anyway, but it doesn’t make you a failure if you can’t do these extra things much. If you find it is leading you into scruples or frustrating you or making you feel like a failure, maybe you should stop trying to push yourself so hard for a bit and be happy with the person you are in God’s eyes at this moment, and if the possibility for further spiritual growth opens up at some point in the future then take it if you like, but you can’t always force those things to happen. Sorry for my terrible sentence and paragraph structure, this is all very stream of consciousness.

 

[PhanxicoXavier]

To start off, I recommend 3 Hail Mary’s after rising and before bed, a daily Rosary in the evening, and also recite the 15 prayers of Saint Bridget of Sweden, daily after your rosary. Also get into the habit of frequent Confession (weekly at least), and attend Holy Mass/receive Holy Communion as devoutly and often as possible.

 

[leeray]

I want to thank everyone who took the time to write. I feel renewed and refreshed. I do NOT feel like a hopeless failure! I will be implementing many of your suggestions right away. Thank you so much. May God Bless all your efforts to help.

 

[CrackerJackie]

Whew! It can be overwhelming, to say the least! Don’t think of performing each task as a tic mark or point contributing to your being “a good Catholic.” I know there are not enough hours in the day to do all that you listed. Do what you can, believe, foster your relationship with God, and if you find that you can do more, do it! God’s not keeping score!

 

[LilyM]

To start off, I recommend 3 Hail Mary’s after rising and before bed, a daily Rosary in the evening, and also recite the 15 prayers of Saint Bridget of Sweden, daily after your rosary. Also get into the habit of frequent Confession (weekly at least), and attend Holy Mass/receive Holy Communion as devoutly and often as possible.

If you’re going to Confession more than weekly I’d seriously think about why. Certainly if you’re mortally sinning that often then it means that you have serious problems that need professional help beyond that which the confessional usually offers.

And if you’re not - well, devout Communion achieves all the same purposes as confession in regard venial sins. Plus additional graces that only the Eucharist offers. So it’s preferable to increase your Mass attendance than confess more frequently (and daily Mass is usually much more available than daily Confession anyway!)

You’re probably gonna point out John Paul II and Mother Teresa - well, they had positions of extraordinary responsibility that required extraordinary levels of grace. Not to mention Mother Teresa’s documented and decades-long case of ‘dark night of the soul’. You don’t have their responsibilities, and probably don’t suffer as Mother Teresa did, so it’s probably not productive to confess quite so frequently.

 

[annie678]

It’s about my relationship not my “numbers” !

It took me a l-o-n-g time to realize this.

My lesson was cyclical - I would try to keep up certain practices and could for a while, but eventually I couldn’t. Then I’d get upset with myself, question my value and doubt God’s love for me. Through this, He taught me that I do not have to do anything for Him to love me. Once I understood and accepted this, and started just being with the Lord, everything became clearer. And now the practices I do keep are more meaningful than ever!

Be still, and know that I am God… (Psalm 46:10)

Peace -
Annie

 

[StillWondering]

If you’re going to Confession more than weekly I’d seriously think about why. Certainly if you’re mortally sinning that often then it means that you have serious problems that need professional help beyond that which the confessional usually offers.

And if you’re not - well, devout Communion achieves all the same purposes as confession in regard venial sins. Plus additional graces that only the Eucharist offers. So it’s preferable to increase your Mass attendance than confess more frequently (and daily Mass is usually much more available than daily Confession anyway!)

You’re probably gonna point out John Paul II and Mother Teresa - well, they had positions of extraordinary responsibility that required extraordinary levels of grace. Not to mention Mother Teresa’s documented and decades-long case of ‘dark night of the soul’. You don’t have their responsibilities, and probably don’t suffer as Mother Teresa did, so it’s probably not productive to confess quite so frequently.

I think this is a wonderful point. We are all called to be saint but some are given a huge cross compared to the rest of us. None is like any cross Christ carried, but great servants of God such as JPII and M. Teresa was called to much greater service than any of us regular folk can imagine.

It took me a l-o-n-g time to realize this.

My lesson was cyclical - I would try to keep up certain practices and could for a while, but eventually I couldn’t. Then I’d get upset with myself, question my value and doubt God’s love for me. Through this, He taught me that I do not have to do anything for Him to love me. Once I understood and accepted this, and started just being with the Lord, everything became clearer. And now the practices I do keep are more meaningful than ever!

Be still, and know that I am God… (Psalm 46:10)

Peace -
Annie

Lovely, simply Lovely.

 

[Lainey63]

I believe if you make a morning offering every morning…everything you do is offered up to God & all those actions are also prayers. Also, aspirations during the day…try to keep mindful of God.

 

[heathernoel]

Just remember that we are ALL in the process of conversion. There are no perfect Catholics. We are all on a journey, and for some of us, that journey winds and dips. It doesn’t make our journey any less valid than our brother or sister’s journey.

God bless you on your road

 

[GratefulFred]

Failure is not really ours to measure as we are still a work in progress on this journey through life. Any sense of failure is our realization that we continually need God’s Love, Grace, and Mercy. Sure, in a heart beat we know we are not perfect but we also know we are trying and we keep trying no matter how many times we think we are failing.

God’s greatest Commandment is LOVE. Love of God and love of neighbor and self. Just as a father loves his children, he does not expect them to be perfect in every way. He does, however hope they will allow him to guide them, and because he loves his children, he is always ready to forgive them and usually they are quick to say, “I’m sorry. Forgive me. I want to do better. Show me the way.”

Think of the typical archery target with concentric circles. Very few of our well intentioned arrows hit the bullseye ring dead center, but usually we do hit the target in some outter ring. It is unreasonable to think ourselves a failure at archery just because not every arrow hits the bulleye. We hit the larger target often enough to be recognized as an archer.

We are on target, as others have implied, by doing our best to follow the 10 Commandments and the 6 Percepts of the Church will keep us in the ballpark. Receiving the sacrament of Reconciliation regularly and consciously remaining open to letting God, the Holy Spirit, work within us.

We should not beat ourselves up for not being perfect. Only Jesus and His Mother Mary were perfect in this life. God wants us to love Him freely and to make our best efforts. At the proper time, He will make us perfect (we cannot achieve perfection without God) and then we will be in Heaven with Him. It is all about LOVE of God and neighbor and self.

 

[Heliotropium]

How do you keep from feeling like a failure as a Catholic when there’s so much we are encouraged to do? The Daily Mass, The Daily Rosary, The Chaplet of Divine Mercy, reading the lives of the Saints, praying the Stations of the Cross. I want despairately to be a “good Catholic”, but what exactly is a good Catholic? I aways wind-up feeling like I can never do enough. I think Jesus is happy and loves me but there’s always more to do.
Maybe I over think it, but there was a Priest on my Catholic radio station saying we should pray the Rosary 3 times a day. I want to be a happy Resurrection Catholic but I want to follow Holy Mother Church. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

The fact that you are asking this “what more can I do” shows that you are a good Catholic my friend They key is to start by making a list of things Catholics are obligated to do and make sure you are doing them. The second thing I then started to do was see what more I could do comfortably and then when I found I had the time I added more. Things like the rosary for example: I prayed the rosary once a day because if I tried to get anymore rosaries done in that day they would not be devout and would end up being a lip service because I was trying to catch up. Believe me when I tell you my friend that one Hail Mary said with complete devotion and attention is worth more than a thousand Hail Maries said in a rush and without thought. There are many chaplets to pray and this is because there are many different types of Catholics who need certain chaplets. Not everyone should pray the same thing (with exception to things like The Rosary, and Divine Mercy), and it is not good to heap chaplets on top of your self since this will cause you to go into despair when you dont complete all of them during the day. Take your time, talk with God in a personal way, and use your chaplets or novenas. Go and visit God in the adoration chaplet and ask for the strength and the wisdom to know what you need to do and do it. Start slow and work your way up, and remember it’s not the quantity of prayers but the quality that matters. Oh and remember God loves you! He is not waiting for you to miss a Roasary so he can spite you!

God bless

 

[PhanxicoXavier]

If you’re going to Confession more than weekly I’d seriously think about why. Certainly if you’re mortally sinning that often then it means that you have serious problems that need professional help beyond that which the confessional usually offers.

And if you’re not - well, devout Communion achieves all the same purposes as confession in regard venial sins. Plus additional graces that only the Eucharist offers. So it’s preferable to increase your Mass attendance than confess more frequently (and daily Mass is usually much more available than daily Confession anyway!)

You’re probably gonna point out John Paul II and Mother Teresa - well, they had positions of extraordinary responsibility that required extraordinary levels of grace. Not to mention Mother Teresa’s documented and decades-long case of ‘dark night of the soul’. You don’t have their responsibilities, and probably don’t suffer as Mother Teresa did, so it’s probably not productive to confess quite so frequently.

You should go to Confession as soon as possible after committing a mortal sin.

My parish has Confession before every single Mass, so I usually go to confession whenever I am able to go to Mass. Avoid scrupulosity though…

 

[reggieM]

You should go to Confession as soon as possible after committing a mortal sin.

True. Going more than once a week can be a very beneficial thing for people who are struggling. Of course, the priest-confessor will instruct a person as well. Also, confession can be very helpful for those who have strong temptations or even just venial sins (which lead to mortal sins).

My parish has Confession before every single Mass, so I usually go to confession whenever I am able to go to Mass. Avoid scrupulosity though…

We have a parish in my diocese where the priest hears up to 20 confessions a day, every day – and more than that on Saturdays.

 

[peary]

I’ve NEVER felt like a failure as a Catholic. Wow.

 

[Adonia]

I know you feel that you “can never do enough”, and that is probably true, we probably can never do enough. So, I believe that Christ accepts all that we actually do and loves us for it. What did He say to do for eternal life? Follow the Commandments. Our faith, the practices contained within, help us do that. Lighten up. Go through you life knowing that Our Lord is there to help you .He was the sacrifice.

 

[WarriorofJesus]

How do you keep from feeling like a failure as a Catholic when there’s so much we are encouraged to do? The Daily Mass, The Daily Rosary, The Chaplet of Divine Mercy, reading the lives of the Saints, praying the Stations of the Cross. I want despairately to be a “good Catholic”, but what exactly is a good Catholic? I aways wind-up feeling like I can never do enough. I think Jesus is happy and loves me but there’s always more to do.
Maybe I over think it, but there was a Priest on my Catholic radio station saying we should pray the Rosary 3 times a day. I want to be a happy Resurrection Catholic but I want to follow Holy Mother Church. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Do not stress about it and do everything little by little. What I mean by this is to take this calmly and without having to feel too much pressure. A good catholic is simply someone that follows the rules of the church and practices the religion exactly how it’s supposed to be. That means that as a good catholic you will pray the Rosary dailey, read the bible everyday, go to masses every sunday, confess yourself and live a pure life. Be forgiving to others and follow one of Jesus’s most important commandments which was to love one another just like he loved us. Jesus wants to see you happy and being obedient to his fathers will. I would suggest to just have a normal simple life and just simply follow the ten commandments along with what I have already suggested. If you are encountering stress and too much pressure, then that is a sign that you need to take things a little bit more smoothly and relax. Jesus already see’s your big effort in trying to become a great catholic and knows that you truely want to be one of his followers.

What usually determines the amount of work or things to get done while being catholic is the amount of time you have available. If you have a good amount of free time, then spend that time doing prayers or reading the bible. In other words, practice your religion and follow the Holy Mother Church. If you don’t have enought time to accomplish those things, then I would suggest to save them for another day. The Lord knows that we are humans and that we need to work, sleep, eat, and that sometimes we wont have that time for him just like we might of had in other days.

 

[DeiGratia]

I remember hearing an allegorical story once about Fact, Faith, and Feeling, and about how it was important to keep them in that order. Our faith is based on facts in God’s Word (Romans 10:17). But feeling should always follow faith and never dictate it.

So, anytime I see any decision based solely on “feeling”, I sense that chaos has probably already set in, or is about to set in. Without faith all our attempts to please God will be futile.

Soli Dei Gratia

 

[ASD]

How do you keep from feeling like a failure as a Catholic when there’s so much we are encouraged to do? The Daily Mass, The Daily Rosary, The Chaplet of Divine Mercy, reading the lives of the Saints, praying the Stations of the Cross. I want despairately to be a “good Catholic”, but what exactly is a good Catholic? I aways wind-up feeling like I can never do enough. I think Jesus is happy and loves me but there’s always more to do.
Maybe I over think it, but there was a Priest on my Catholic radio station saying we should pray the Rosary 3 times a day. I want to be a happy Resurrection Catholic but I want to follow Holy Mother Church. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

It’s kind of paradoxical that the most conscientious people get stuck here, on the very same ground Martin Luther bogged down in about 400 years ago. His thing was, Am I really contrite enough to receive absolution in confession?

Irony: A person who is willing to exert himself to the utmost to be a good Catholic can become kinda like a proto-Lutheran.

In general, under a certain kind of gaze or scrutiny, Catholic sacraments, devotions, etc, start to seem like “works” that can never be sufficient. So, what to do?

1. 
   *]We can give up the sacraments, devotions, etc, like Luther. FYI, there’s plenty of bad ground this way, too. E.g., predestination.
   *]We can give up viewing the sacraments, devotions, etc, like accountants.
   

   I want despairately to be a “good Catholic”, but what exactly is a good Catholic?

   Hmm. Consider:
   

   I want despairately to be a “good American,” but what exactly is a good American?

   It’s a big country, with room for lots of different answers to that question. Similarly, the Church has always been a big institution with room for many answers to your question.
   
   However, IMHO, a better question might be:
   

   What am I called to do?

   Some good Catholics feel that they are called to pray all day every day. They go to the cloisters. Others are called to work with poor people, like Dorothy Day. And so on.
   

   ASD​

   Traditional Latin Mass: Translation and Grammar