How do you know if HE likes you

[Sierrah]

I live in a city with large catholic population. It hasn’t helped me so far either.

 

[rpp]

Hah. Actually, I’m in a country where 90% people are baptised Catholic (church attendance circa 40%) and I’m single not by personal choice. The only personal choice I make is not to have a relationship just for the sake of having one, and to settle not with anything but with something great. Rather ambitious perhaps, but having some faith in people, I can’t say unattainable.

I live in a city with large catholic population. It hasn’t helped me so far either.

You guys are quite lucky. I live in an area where Christians are in a minority and Catholics even more so. The second largest religion in my state is atheism/agnosticism.

 

[chevalier]

Wow! Where do you live, Luxembourg?

Hah, nope, Poland. Catholicism 89%, Orthodoxy ca 1.3%, Protestantism 0.4%, Jehovah’s Witnesses 0,33%, without denomination - a bit less than 8%. About 44% believers are practising, attendance varies. Generally, 20% in the biggest cities (including mine), while dioceses as a whole range from 28.6% (lowest) to 72% (highest). By the way, almost 55% were practising in the eighties, back in communist times.

Now let’s start from 20%. Then factor commitment not to be sexually active before marriage. Then factor the matter of contraception. And consider the fact that everyone is not attractive to everyone. Chance low enough?

 

[rpp]

Hah, nope, Poland. Catholicism 89%, Orthodoxy ca 1.3%, Protestantism 0.4%, Jehovah’s Witnesses 0,33%, without denomination - a bit less than 8%. About 44% believers are practising, attendance varies. Generally, 20% in the biggest cities (including mine), while dioceses as a whole range from 28.6% (lowest) to 72% (highest). By the way, almost 55% were practising in the eighties, back in communist times.

Now let’s start from 20%. Then factor commitment not to be sexually active before marriage. Then factor the matter of contraception. And consider the fact that everyone is not attractive to everyone. Chance low enough?

If 20 years or so doesn’t make a difference, you may have luck in my town! I know of at least one person here who would qualify!

 

[HappyPerson]

Well, to get back to the original topic, if you want to let a guy know that you are interested in him, outright tell him that you want to enter a relationship with him. If you don’t know him well enough to want to enter a committed relationship with him, then get to know him well enough AS A FRIEND, first. Find out what his attitudes towards women are. Find out how he feels about relationships. Find out how he feels about marriage(not to you, just in general.) Find out how devoted to God he is. Learn if he respects his mother and sisters(if he has any.) Make sure he is a decent person with the proper attitudes. Don’t expect that you are going to change his attitudes if he doesn’t already have the right ones. Also, don’t assume that just because he is Catholic, he has the right Catholic attitudes.

If a guy likes you enough to have a worthwhile relationship, he’ll ask you for one. Chances are, however, if HE is worth it, he’ll find out your views on all these things first, before he considers entering a relationship with you. Deep communication as friends, to learn these things is important when discerning a relationship.

Make sure that YOUR views are the correct ones, too. The purpose of relationships is to discern marriage. If you believe in casual uncommitted dating, then YOU are not yet ready to be romantically involved with someone.

The whole, “friend” thing may seem like it requires patience, but not really. You shouldn’t decide that you want a relationship with someone, until you know these things about your friend, and your friend knows them about you. Don’t interrogate your friend over these things like at a job interview, rather, share your views and get reactions. That way you’ll find out whether he shares your views or not. You should be this way with all your single, eligible opposite gender friends. That way, you can help discern which one is right for you, and base it on genuine criteria that is actually relevant to a relationship. You only frustrate yourself through “patience” if you decide that you “like” someone BEFORE you know whether that person’s attitudes towards relationships/marriage are conducive to a God-centered obedient relationship, in general.

Well, that is what worked for my girlfriend and me. Initially, I thought that it was right to be just friends with her, and enjoyed getting to know her as a friend very much. Then, however, when she told me about some positive changes she made, was making, and intended to make in her life, I realized that I wanted to be more than, “just friends” with her, and within 24 hours, I asked her for a relationship(not a date) and then she accepted. Our romantic relationship began with a friendship, and is all the more strong because of that. We have a true emotional connection and are firmly committed to each other, in an honorable relationship based on real substance. We are hoping it leads to marriage, but are making sure we spend enough time together as a couple first, since we both understand the seriousness of marriage.

So, I would recommend truly knowing a person AS A PERSON, before you even consider the notion that you “like” that person. Otherwise, what is it that you like? Only that which is fleeting.
Like I said, if done properly, this does NOT require agonizing patience. Think of your friends that are right in front of you. Perhaps one of them who you may not have considered that way may be exactly who you were looking all over for. Get to know your opposite gender friends better, and the PERSON you were looking for may just be right in front of your face, and have been there all along.

 

[dakotagirl]

I live in a city with large catholic population. It hasn’t helped me so far either.

Where do you live, The Loo, MO? There’s your problem.

@ HappyPerson: Do you mean to say that the OP needs to be friends first???!! Good gracious, what are people coming up with these days??!!

You are absolutely right of course. The OP’s problem may be that she needs to look in a different locale.

@ Sierrah: PM me; I have connections in other states, let me see what I can do…

 

[rpp]

By the way, there are several internet sites around that specifically cater to Catholic looking for other Catholics. www.amvemariasingles.com is one of these sites. When people sign up they answer a series of questions regarding their faith. Their answers are visible when people view their profiles. Consider joining one of these sites.

If you use such a service, stick to contacting people with photos of themselves in their profiles. Otherwise you might end up like a friend who brought this picture back after meeting a person she met online. Scroll down for picture.

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/funny-pictures-white-gorilla-bachelor1.jpg

 

[chevalier]

But remember the same person may look great in one picture and the opposite in another.

 

[Larowyn]

Ave Maria Singles is pretty expensive, which is why I haven’t already joined.

 

[HappyPerson]

Ave Maria Singles is pretty expensive, which is why I haven’t already joined.

Seriously, what a rip off. I remember looking at that site years ago and rejecting it for the same reason. Also, they ask really lame questions like, “Who is your favorite saint?” As if that has anything to do with whether a couple will work out.

 

[dakotagirl]

Yeah, but I think the reasoning behind the expense is so that only “serious” Catholics will join.

 

[Larowyn]

I can understand a small fee to maintain the site and keep pranksters away, but they want a three month contract for $60 a month, regardless of how soon you find someone!

I was on Catholic Singles for about six months tweaking my profile and trying to summon the courage to post my picture, and when I did some girl sent me a couple messages. It wasn’t until then that I realized that I needed to be a paying member to actually read messages; I had been under the impression all along that one only needed to pay for the chat service and emotigrams. Oddly you could post replies to poll results, but that was it. It was $30 a month for one month, and the monthly rate decreased slightly depending on how long your contract was. I never responded to that girl.

 

[Pro-Life_Teen]

Hah, nope, Poland.

And consider the fact that everyone is not attractive to everyone.

A super! Gdzie mieszkasz? Ja mam rodzine w Krakowie.

And Poles, not attractive? ^^ Everyone knows we’re all very good looking. ​

As to how expensive Ave Maria is- well, it’s for proper devout Catholics. I’d rather give them a little money than spend weeks, possibly months, sifting through lack-luster Catholics on a Catholic-only site.

As for non-Catholics… shrug I had the rule to date Catholics only, but I broke it. And it worked [is working?] but with that… takes a rather special non-Catholic to go along with all our rules. Not for everyone [heck, dating isn’t for everyone, some are called to single life] but it’s not very terrible in move scenarios, I’d hope.

As for who’s your favourite Saint, it’s like what’s your favourite colour, only for Catholics. A bit of fun mixed in with serious Catholic business isn’t a problem.
**

 

[Larowyn]

And Poles, not attractive? ^^ Everyone knows we’re all very good looking.

It’s funny how people from the same European country look the same.

As to how expensive Ave Maria is- well, it’s for proper devout Catholics. I’d rather give them a little money than spend weeks, possibly months, sifting through lack-luster Catholics on a Catholic-only site.

Catholic Match is cheaper but they also ask you to affirm your beliefs in your profile. They ask you a series of yes or no questions about what you believe. Devout Catholics would answer yes to all of them.

 

[ack]

But only for a short time period – remember, after paying for 3 months of membership, you get a free membership for LIFE.

Compare to CatholicMatch – the cheapest plan on CatholicMatch is $150/year. Compare this to Ave Maria Singles, where $180 buys a lifetime membership.

If you’re a college student, it’s even better – $59 buys you a lifetime membership.

I don’t belong to any dating sites, but if I did join one, I would want to join a site where people are serious about looking for someone, and not just goofing off. I think I would be more likely to find these people on any of the pay sites than on a free site.

Ave Maria Singles is pretty expensive, which is why I haven’t already joined.

 

[chevalier]

A super! Gdzie mieszkasz? Ja mam rodzine w Krakowie.

Lol. Your Polish is more contemporary than my own.

And Poles, not attractive? ^^ Everyone knows we’re all very good looking.

Aren’t we. I’ve caused a riot here and there abroad.

As to how expensive Ave Maria is- well, it’s for proper devout Catholics. I’d rather give them a little money than spend weeks, possibly months, sifting through lack-luster Catholics on a Catholic-only site.

But won’t it weed out poor students? Even for the typical recent graduate round here, it would be a major bill.

As for non-Catholics… shrug I had the rule to date Catholics only, but I broke it. And it worked [is working?] but with that… takes a rather special non-Catholic to go along with all our rules. Not for everyone [heck, dating isn’t for everyone, some are called to single life] but it’s not very terrible in move scenarios, I’d hope.

I keep that rule, although I would make an exception if exceptionally warranted. This includes Catholic upbringing for children and no contraception.

As for who’s your favourite Saint, it’s like what’s your favourite colour, only for Catholics. A bit of fun mixed in with serious Catholic business isn’t a problem.

Well, your choice of colours may refer to a plethora of facets of your personality, but it’s not very obvious. The choice of saints generally has something to do with your chosen path.

 

[Pro-Life_Teen]

Lol. Your Polish is more contemporary than my own.

Really? Born in America, speak Polish at home… I pick up random slang when I visit family, though.

Aren’t we. I’ve caused a riot here and there abroad.

But won’t it weed out poor students? Even for the typical recent graduate round here, it would be a major bill.

I heard about a student discount, actually. But true, it would weed out students. Then again, I’d think most would assume those 18-22 aren’t A] good Catholics, and B] devout enough to look for good Catholics.

I keep that rule, although I would make an exception if exceptionally warranted. This includes Catholic upbringing for children and no contraception.

Yeah exactly, like I said, a special non-Catholic will be willing to go along with Catholic rules. One that may convert, or at least has great respect for the Traditions and teachings.

 

[chevalier]

Really? Born in America, speak Polish at home… I pick up random slang when I visit family, though.

Just sounded so natural.

I heard about a student discount, actually. But true, it would weed out students. Then again, I’d think most would assume those 18-22 aren’t A] good Catholics, and B] devout enough to look for good Catholics.

Wouldn’t be so sure. Many great Christians that young age. Generally they’re within my hunting territory age-wise, so I’d be concerned about missing on those.

Yeah exactly, like I said, a special non-Catholic will be willing to go along with Catholic rules. One that may convert, or at least has great respect for the Traditions and teachings.

Generally, a person who’s willing to reflect on contraception as well as to give up on it for the reason that the other person fears a potential abortive effect, would be rather considerate. Considerate people who are willing to take pains for others go a long way.

 

[NTOT]

From a man’s perspective, the only women who chase a man are bad news. At least, that has been experience.

So would you say it is the act of chasing a man that makes a woman bad news? And therefore a good girl shouldn’t chase a man, because then she is bad news?

 

[rpp]

So would you say it is the act of chasing a man that makes a woman bad news? And therefore a good girl shouldn’t chase a man, because then she is bad news?

No. It is not the chasing of a man that, in my experience, is the problem. It is the attitude that motivates a woman to think that she must do the pursuing. In my experience, I have observed two rather undesirable (for me) traits that lead to this thinking, sexually aggressive / promiscuous or the need to dominate men. Neither of these traits is appealing to me.