How do you know if you have commited heresy

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Irishgal49

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I am asking this question because I am about to make a full confession tomorrow morning. I have been rebellious, obstinate, refused to listen, argued with the priest to the point where he will not hear my Confessions and has told me that he will not work with me in my healing work (abused as a child). We have a parochial vicar so I can Confess with him but I am beyond distraught…however I deserve everything I get.

I have argued, ranted, and been horrible. I think Ghandi would have strangled me by now. It also affected two other people. Even when confronted that my beliefs were out of line and told so, I refused to change.

Believe it or not, I really liked this priest, I was just caught up in my arrogance and selfishness and was very hurtful and disrespectful. I have another friend who walked away from me. I have another who has distanced but is still a friend. I can tell he’s angry but he does talk politely when I leave, “Have a nice day” and I feel horrible.

I have realized how totally wrong I am but he has told me he does not trust me or believe me so I really messed up. I have been having massive panic attacks, crying all the time, depressed and despondent and I deserve it all. I had no right to act the way I did. I know that I lost a truly caring and holy man and it tears me up to remember the kind things he did when I came back to the church last June. He has spent WAY more hours on me and my rebellious attitude than he should have. He sincerely tried to help me and now he’s done.

I am going to a priest over 40 miles away just to have some privacy and pour this all out. The sad thing is I have learned too late the price of disobedience and rebellion. I am just not sure if it constitutes heresy when you have been directly told and still refuse to believe something.

I would give up the rest of my life to roll back the clock but I cannot…I would sincerely do anything but he’s done and I have to accept the cross I received when I acted the way I did. I passionately love the people in my parish but I may very well have to leave as I’m having panic and get upset every time I see him. I have tried to apologize but I truly don’t feel he believes I’m sincere. I don’t blame him, I really don’t. The last few days I became suicidal, it’s like you see so clearly but why didn’t I see it then? I just want to name the sins and I have a few others I am also Confessing.

Is what I did heresy. I almost wish I could just get the death penalty…I can’t even look him in the eyes anymore. I can say without a doubt my self hatred is total.

I have to see him before I go off for the Confession because my son died at the age of 16 and tomorrow would have been his 32nd birthday. In a twist of irony this priest is saying mass for my son. So I have to be there and then literally fly to this other town in order to get to work on time. I just can’t live like this anymore, I really can’t. I have no pastor, friends are looking at me like I’m Hitler at a bar mitzvah and I need to get this OUT of me.

Thanks for any help on this–not sure what constitutes heresy…or if disobedience is what I confess.

Prodigal Daughter
 
Just tell your confession to your priest when you go to reconciliation, and ask him for clarification on these issues.

I’ll pray this prayer for you, and you may wish to pray it too. God bless you in reconcilation tomorrow.

Prayer for a Good Confession

Receive my confession, O most loving and gracious Lord Jesus Christ, only hope for the salvation of my soul. Grant to me true contrition of soul, so that day and night I may by penance make satisfaction for my many sins. Savior of the world, O good Jesus, Who gave Yourself to the death of the Cross to save sinners, look upon me, most wretched of all sinners; have pity on me, and give me the light to know my sins, true sorrow for them, and a firm purpose of never committing them again.

O gracious Virgin Mary, Immaculate Mother of Jesus, I implore you to obtain for me by your powerful intercession these graces from you Divine Son.

St. Joseph, pray for me.

:byzsoc:
 
Sorry to hear about the loss of your son.😦 I will say a prayer for you. I am sure you will feel much better once you are able to talk to the priest tomorrow…hugs
 
Irishgal49 said:
I am asking this question because I am about to make a full confession tomorrow morning. I have been rebellious, obstinate, refused to listen, argued with the priest to the point where he will not hear my Confessions and has told me that he will not work with me in my healing work (abused as a child). We have a parochial vicar so I can Confess with him but I am beyond distraught…however I deserve everything I get.

I have argued, ranted, and been horrible. I think Ghandi would have strangled me by now. It also affected two other people. Even when confronted that my beliefs were out of line and told so, I refused to change.

Believe it or not, I really liked this priest, I was just caught up in my arrogance and selfishness and was very hurtful and disrespectful. I have another friend who walked away from me. I have another who has distanced but is still a friend. I can tell he’s angry but he does talk politely when I leave, “Have a nice day” and I feel horrible.

I have realized how totally wrong I am but he has told me he does not trust me or believe me so I really messed up. I have been having massive panic attacks, crying all the time, depressed and despondent and I deserve it all. I had no right to act the way I did. I know that I lost a truly caring and holy man and it tears me up to remember the kind things he did when I came back to the church last June. He has spent WAY more hours on me and my rebellious attitude than he should have. He sincerely tried to help me and now he’s done.

I am going to a priest over 40 miles away just to have some privacy and pour this all out. The sad thing is I have learned too late the price of disobedience and rebellion. I am just not sure if it constitutes heresy when you have been directly told and still refuse to believe something.

I would give up the rest of my life to roll back the clock but I cannot…I would sincerely do anything but he’s done and I have to accept the cross I received when I acted the way I did. I passionately love the people in my parish but I may very well have to leave as I’m having panic and get upset every time I see him. I have tried to apologize but I truly don’t feel he believes I’m sincere. I don’t blame him, I really don’t. The last few days I became suicidal, it’s like you see so clearly but why didn’t I see it then? I just want to name the sins and I have a few others I am also Confessing.

Is what I did heresy. I almost wish I could just get the death penalty…I can’t even look him in the eyes anymore. I can say without a doubt my self hatred is total.

I have to see him before I go off for the Confession because my son died at the age of 16 and tomorrow would have been his 32nd birthday. In a twist of irony this priest is saying mass for my son. So I have to be there and then literally fly to this other town in order to get to work on time. I just can’t live like this anymore, I really can’t. I have no pastor, friends are looking at me like I’m Hitler at a bar mitzvah and I need to get this OUT of me.

Thanks for any help on this–not sure what constitutes heresy…or if disobedience is what I confess.

Prodigal Daughter
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Being disobedient and continuing to be so even after being corrected is not heresy, it is being obstinate in a state of sin. Heresy is the public teaching of Anathemas and other falsehoods as though they ARE dogmatic truth. You may have had some heretical thoughts along the way, but you’re not a heretic until you try to convince others that they’re right and true (above church doctrine).

You should talk to the priest you think you offended and confess this to him. It sounds to me like he’s intimately familiar with your situation, and if he’s even half way descent as a priest he’ll forgive you personally as well as in his priestly capacity, and will have the insight to offer you some good counseling (and can involve you in ministries in the church, if you so desire, in order to repair your public standing with your fellow parishoners). If you go off and confess to some other priest, how will THIS priest ever know that you have repented?
 
Thanks for the clarification. Sadly he refuses to hear any Confessions from me or work with me at all. I’m sort of in a bind. It’s a little hard to attend a parish when you don’t have a pastor. I think he’s hoping I leave but I’m not. I just have to grab Confession when I can. I will be making Confession this morning. Thanks everyone.
 
It sounds like you may also be in need of a therapist or counselor to help you deal with some emotional issues. Sometimes people expect priests to be able to deal with all their issues and in truth, they are just not qualified. You have gone through a lot, abuse, the death of a child, Those things severely affect people in many ways that often manifest themselves in ways that you have expressed. A good therapist can help you deal with them. It sounds as if you are using the priest for what really should be therapy. Has he suggested it? May you find hope and healing.
 
Joannm said:
It sounds like you may also be in need of a therapist or counselor to help you deal with some emotional issues. Sometimes people expect priests to be able to deal with all their issues and in truth, they are just not qualified. You have gone through a lot, abuse, the death of a child, Those things severely affect people in many ways that often manifest themselves in ways that you have expressed. A good therapist can help you deal with them. It sounds as if you are using the priest for what really should be therapy. Has he suggested it? May you find hope and healing.
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AMEN!
Of course we dont know you enough to give the advice you need in a combox. Please seek out professional help at this time not affiliated with the church. That comes later. I can say this…you are not a heretic! God loves you…
 
Thanks everyone! I am seeing a therapist tomorrow–forgot to mention that piece, and thanks for that reminder.

Here’s what happened today:

I drove 28 miles to another town in horrible weather and made a FULL confession on this matter with the priest. Very nice priest, and gorgeous church. I admitted to everything, my disobedience, pride, rudeness, rebellion, selfishness, all of it. I held nothing back. And I had a few other small things that were bugging me. I let it fly. He asked questions, was very direct and very firm but very compassionate. I told him I was ready to be obedient to all of the teachings and authority of the Church not just the things I like. I also need to stop getting angry at people for not “doing it for me” and stand up and take responsibility for my walk with God and growing my faith. I’m actually excited about this now.

So…no more talking, time to prove myself by living it. I was given a penance to apologize to my priest so I will pray the Lord will take charge of that and present the opportunity. I need to get a chaplet blessed so maybe that will be the way…but the Lord will pave the way. I’m not asking for any changes, not begging for chances, just saying I’m sorry. I will live with the mess I’ve made, demonstrate I’m serious and…the Lord told me I have to start reading the Catechism from cover to cover. Not study and dissect it, but read it and affirm that this is what I am saying yes to— and being obedient to. The best thing everyone could do is exactly what they did, they dropped me on my bottom and told me to get busy.

Thanks everyone for your honesty. Sometimes we have no idea how we are being seen by others. That’s an important piece as I begin to live in obedience. I have learned it’s not just what I’m doing, it’s got to be a part of my heart, and then I can grow in humility. I want to be more like the Blessed Mother. I love her so much. And thank you everyone for your candid comments.

I am very sorry for the hurt I caused people and I intend to show that I am going to live a better life. I don’t expect or want anyone to do anything, this isn’t about “winning people over” or “band-aids” this is about honesty and trust and repentence. I am willing to prayerfully begin the work.

After I told the priest my intention to embrace all the teachings including not aruging and fighting with the priest and the Church’s teachings he said, “Welcome home. I think you can now consider yourself a Catholic.” Wow! That was awesome, undeserved, but awesome.

Oh and my panic attacks are gone. Thank you Jesus for forgiving this sinner.
 
Does anyone know if they make a large print version of the Catechism–this old lady is blind, LOL
 
Irishgal49 said:
Does anyone know if they make a large print version of the Catechism–this old lady is blind, LOL
Click to expand...
Depending on how convenient it is, you could read it online. Four choices I found on Google:
Borromeo site
USCCB site
Vatican site
Christus Rex site

If the text is too small, you can use a bookmark tool from readability.com/
or you can increase the text size in most browsers by pressing the “Ctrl” and “+” keys together (or “-” key to go back down).
 
I’m so glad you made the Confession 🙂
Remember that Jesus is very merciful, and you repented of everything so He forgave you! Trust Him to give you the right words when you apologize to the priest. I know it’s hard to deal with the knowledge that our sins have affected others. I have to deal with this too. The best thing we can do is just repent, confess our sins, do penance, try to repair the damage as best we can, but leave everything else to God and pray.
God bless you 🙂
 
(for the OP)

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, sought your help, or implored your intercession was left unaided. Inspired by this confidence, we fly to you, O Virgin of virgins, our Mother. To you do we come, before you we stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not our petitions, but in your mercy hear and answer us.

Sweet Mother Mary, please pray for our sister, striving to live in holy obedience to your Son’s Church. Protect her with your prayers, and watch over her with your motherly care. Teach her to live by your most holy example - you who untied the knot of Eve’s disobedience by your FIAT. Help us all to live in humble obedience to your Divine Son and the Church He has established for our salvation. We ask these things in His Most Holy Name. Amen.
 
It would be good to ponder that most heretics probably don’t think that they are heretics but think themselves totally orthodox. Martin Luther, who was a heretic, thought he was extremely orthodox and that the Church herself had drifted into heresy.
 
I am so sorry you have to go through this. Go back to the priest and talk to him calmly and tell him you need forgiveness and love. I will be praying for you, God bless you!
 
Irishgal49 said:
I am asking this question because I am about to make a full confession tomorrow morning. I have been rebellious, obstinate, refused to listen, argued with the priest to the point where he will not hear my Confessions and has told me that he will not work with me in my healing work (abused as a child). We have a parochial vicar so I can Confess with him but I am beyond distraught…however I deserve everything I get.

I have argued, ranted, and been horrible. I think Ghandi would have strangled me by now. It also affected two other people. Even when confronted that my beliefs were out of line and told so, I refused to change.

Believe it or not, I really liked this priest, I was just caught up in my arrogance and selfishness and was very hurtful and disrespectful. I have another friend who walked away from me. I have another who has distanced but is still a friend. I can tell he’s angry but he does talk politely when I leave, “Have a nice day” and I feel horrible.

I have realized how totally wrong I am but he has told me he does not trust me or believe me so I really messed up. I have been having massive panic attacks, crying all the time, depressed and despondent and I deserve it all. I had no right to act the way I did. I know that I lost a truly caring and holy man and it tears me up to remember the kind things he did when I came back to the church last June. He has spent WAY more hours on me and my rebellious attitude than he should have. He sincerely tried to help me and now he’s done.

I am going to a priest over 40 miles away just to have some privacy and pour this all out. The sad thing is I have learned too late the price of disobedience and rebellion. I am just not sure if it constitutes heresy when you have been directly told and still refuse to believe something.

I would give up the rest of my life to roll back the clock but I cannot…I would sincerely do anything but he’s done and I have to accept the cross I received when I acted the way I did. I passionately love the people in my parish but I may very well have to leave as I’m having panic and get upset every time I see him. I have tried to apologize but I truly don’t feel he believes I’m sincere. I don’t blame him, I really don’t. The last few days I became suicidal, it’s like you see so clearly but why didn’t I see it then? I just want to name the sins and I have a few others I am also Confessing.

Is what I did heresy. I almost wish I could just get the death penalty…I can’t even look him in the eyes anymore. I can say without a doubt my self hatred is total.

I have to see him before I go off for the Confession because my son died at the age of 16 and tomorrow would have been his 32nd birthday. In a twist of irony this priest is saying mass for my son. So I have to be there and then literally fly to this other town in order to get to work on time. I just can’t live like this anymore, I really can’t. I have no pastor, friends are looking at me like I’m Hitler at a bar mitzvah and I need to get this OUT of me.

Thanks for any help on this–not sure what constitutes heresy…or if disobedience is what I confess.

Prodigal Daughter
Click to expand...
CCC 2089 Incredulity is the neglect of revealed truth or the willful refusal to assent to it. "Heresy is the obstinate post-baptismal denial of some truth which must be believed with divine and Catholic faith, or it is likewise an obstinate doubt concerning the same; apostasy is the total repudiation of the Christian faith; schism is the refusal of submission to the Roman Pontiff or of communion with the members of the Church subject to him."
 
Castello said:
It is also now available for Kindle!
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Awesome I have a Kindle. After a special trauma therapy resolution session I have noticed a dramatic decrease in anxiety and upset, which was causing me to freak out and “react” all over the place. I don’t get upset like that at all, and an addiction that was causing me to fall into mortal sin has simply been removed. I am working hard with the Parochial Vicar, studying the Catechism, (which I love by the way) and while the pastor still won’t work with me, he has made some warm comments, smiled, and been pleasant. So at least it’s something. I am also inquiring about the Lay Dominicans and signed up for a dedicated hour for adoration at a nearby church that needed someone from midnight to 1 am one night a week so I can’t wait. I can be all alone with Jesus for that whole hour–how amazing and exciting. I love Adoration so much.

Thanks so much, I pray that someday the priest will fully forgive me and work with me but even if he doesn’t we can at least be polite and civil and I am enjoying working with the newly ordained parochial vicar who volunteered to be my Confessor so I don’t worry about Confession. He’s pretty much available twice a week. Thanks everyone, please pray for my pastor/priest and myself that eventual total forgiveness can happen but I do see how the Lord has made good come out of it and I thank him with all my heart.

Hugs and Many Thanks,

Lorrie
 
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