How do you know when to consider divorce, separation, etc?

[samovila]

Here’s an update in case you’re interested:
My husband and I met with our counselor today. He was aware of DH’s most recent outburst because I had talked with him on the phone about it. We went into a little more detail at the appointment and my fears in general about the violence and aggression escalating. The counselor asked my husband to be tested for bipolar disorder because I explained that the outbursts happen every 4-6 weeks on a regular basis. He experiences some signs of depression followed by some type of manic episodes and often this is when he has an explosion. Anyway, I’m encouraged that this could really be fixable. In addition, DH will be meeting with the counselor on his own for some more intense work on managing anger.

The counselor thought me and the baby were fine to stay at home for now. He said that in the long term the effects on our daughter would be terrible, but in the short term we would be ok while DH is working on everything. The goal is to end his destructive behavior immediately.

So for the moment I’m going to be sticking with it and trying to support him as he works on this, but keeping my daughter’s best interest in the forefront of my mind in case I do need to get out of this relationship. I’m encouraged that my husband is so willing to take part in the bipolar testing and to work with the counselor on his anger issues.

Thanks so much for your advice

 

[Liberanosamalo]

This is very promising if he actually will admit he has a problem and will work on it, and maybe take meds and deal with anger management. There is a little bit of hopefulness here.

That is rare with certain types.

Good luck. Exhaust all options before you make a decision. Keep us posted.