How do you know when to take the next step?

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Abira

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I don’t really know how to phrase this. A thought has been at the back of my mind since around Christmas time that I would one day convert to Catholicism. Since about October I’ve spent hours a day learning, not just about Catholic teaching, but my own personal faith.

I was wondering how you know when to take the first sep because every time I intend to attend a Catholic service or make some kind of contact something stops me and I feel a kind of pulling away very strongly.

*The first time I felt something stopped me from attending I thought about my issues with Maryology

*The next time it was that I never knew anyone
*The next it was that I didn’t know what to do
  • after that I felt I would be disrepecting my parents by doing so…
*and the time after that I was so let down by bad Catholic examples around me that I thought: what’s the point…

*now I’m wondering whether I can give up the life I have in and wondering whether the sinful but pleasurable life offered to me has a value of its own!..it never ends.

This list seems kinda downhearted but I know in myself that despite having a long journey ahead of me, that learning about Catholicism has brought me to a deeper understanding and reverence towards the faith that I do have… I just don’t want to go too fast and trip over myself if that makes sense… but every time I get some courage together I get dragged back.

What would your advice be towards someone in my position?
Has anyone ever felt like this themselves?

Take care, S
 
Hi Abira,

Don’t plan on getting married before you get engaged. That “first step” does not necessarily lead you into the Catholic Church… From what I understand, many people go into RCIA just to learn about the Church. They don’t necesarily become Catholic.

Verbum
 
Verbum said:
Hi Abira,

Don’t plan on getting married before you get engaged. That “first step” does not necessarily lead you into the Catholic Church… From what I understand, many people go into RCIA just to learn about the Church. They don’t necesarily become Catholic.

Verbum
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lol… in Yorkshire we say, dunna putyar cart before yar’orse lol…or don’t put your cart before your horse in plain speak lol.

I know what you’re saying. I come to any decision very slowly and methodically and I take years sometimes deciding on something.
 
Good point, Verbum!

Abira, start by attending Mass. You don’t have to commit to anything more than that. You could, as Verbum pointed out, attend RCIA classes. They usually start in the fall, and meet once per week through Easter. Most members of the class will become Catholic at Eastertime, but if you don’t feel ready you are not obligated to, or pressured to. Several people in my parish have attended the class even though they’re already Catholic, just in order to learn more about the faith!

You know when it’s time to take the next step when you feel somewhat comfortable with where you’re at. Not totally comfortable, because you will probably always have some hesitancy until the church and Mass become familiar, and you get to know people, and you understand the faith more. Just take it one step at a time, and go slow. There’s no rush.
 
I just don’t want this to become one of those life decisions that takes years and years.

I know in myself that I no longer believe in Scripture alone, and that I believe in the real presence and in the sacraments more generally. I believe in the moral laws of the church however hard they are to follow and in its apostolic succession.

my problems lie in accepting all Marian ideas (her assumption and crowning… the others I have reached an understanding of) and in praying for intercession.

I feel dishonest staying where I am and yet not ready in myself to move on. Today in church I felt frustrated. The Anglican church I attend had, until recently, a curate that did not believe in the Bible! I’m finding more and more at fault with where I’m at and I don’t want to stagnate…

sorry I keep rambling :o

Take care,

S
 
Abira said:
I just don’t want this to become one of those life decisions that takes years and years.

I know in myself that I no longer believe in Scripture alone, and that I believe in the real presence and in the sacraments more generally. I believe in the moral laws of the church however hard they are to follow and in its apostolic succession.

my problems lie in accepting all Marian ideas (her assumption and crowning… the others I have reached an understanding of) and in praying for intercession.
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Even as a new Catholic, I still find myself slightly uncomfortable with most things Marian based. But, like you, I fully believe in the True Presence of Christ in the Holy Eucharist, the validity (and necessity) of all the Sacraments, and Scripture w/Tradition.

I find that my uncomfortability only gives me the chance to trust the Church, whom Jesus Himself set up for us, to guide me and to teach me. I acknowledge that it is fully possible for there to be truths that I simply cannot understand. Therefore, instead of disagreeing (which we often do when we don’t fully understand how some things can be), I accept what the Church teaches and leave it at that.

I guess my advice to you would be to ask questions about Mary and our beliefs about her. If you decide upon attending RCIA classes, they will definitely devote an entire class or two towards this subject. You’ll find that quite a few others in your class will be struggling with Mary as well. But, you’ll have great explanations and plenty of room for questions. Don’t be afraid to ask them.

Sometimes there are certain things that are too hard for us to understand. For me, it happens to be what the Church teaches about Mary. But I accept and believe these teachings because I accept the authority of the Church.
 
Take heart – many of us struggled for a long time. Conversion is not for the faint of heart!! But this convert is more on fire every day, and I entered the holy Catholic Church over 14 years ago.

You mentioned feeling a pull or a turning away when you were about to try and attend a Mass. What may be profitable is to prayerfully consider not “what” is turning you away but "who is turning you away. There is one person who sincerely does NOT want you to enter the light.

sojo
 
thanks for that Vittorio… I feel the same, I’ve really tried hard to understand the ideas on Mary, both on here and also I’ve read two books on the subject… it’s the hardest bit I think.

S
 
Vittorio23 said:
Even as a new Catholic, I still find myself slightly uncomfortable with most things Marian based. But, like you, I fully believe in the True Presence of Christ in the Holy Eucharist, the validity (and necessity) of all the Sacraments, and Scripture w/Tradition.

I** find that my uncomfortability only gives me the chance to trust the Church, whom Jesus Himself set up for us, to guide me and to teach me. I acknowledge that it is fully possible for there to be truths that I simply cannot understand. Therefore, instead of disagreeing (which we often do when we don’t fully understand how some things can be), I accept what the Church teaches and leave it at that.**

I guess my advice to you would be to ask questions about Mary and our beliefs about her. If you decide upon attending RCIA classes, they will definitely devote an entire class or two towards this subject. You’ll find that quite a few others in your class will be struggling with Mary as well. But, you’ll have great explanations and plenty of room for questions. Don’t be afraid to ask them.

Sometimes there are certain things that are too hard for us to understand. For me, it happens to be what the Church teaches about Mary. But I accept and believe these teachings because I accept the authority of the Church.
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I too found this to be the greatest sense of comfort. God did not leave me out there alone, He left me His Church! And while there may be things I don’t understand or think I disagree with, I trust that the church is right and pray for understanding.
 
Abira said:
thanks for that Vittorio… I feel the same, I’ve really tried hard to understand the ideas on Mary, both on here and also I’ve read two books on the subject… it’s the hardest bit I think.

S
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I fell back on what I knew and trusted. I prayed to God that He would show me if/why it was pleasing to Him to ask His mother to pray for us.

Now I understand not only with my head, but deep in my heart and soul why it is pleasing to God to ask Mary to pray for me too!

Fall back on what you know. You know Christ. Ask Him why and the Holy Spirit will lead you to all truth:thumbsup:
 
sojo said:
You mentioned feeling a pull or a turning away when you were about to try and attend a Mass. What may be profitable is to prayerfully consider not “what” is turning you away but "who is turning you away. There is one person who sincerely does NOT want you to enter the light.

sojo
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I can tell you already my response to that…well I’m typing before thinking so bear with my grammar 🙂

I suffer with SSA, and have done some very bad things in the past, though in comparison to my peers it was nothing ( I know that’s no excuse) and I’m afraid that I won’t be strong enough to live a chaste life and there’s something in me saying that even God can’t help me be strong enough… which I know is a load of rubbish… that the void left in my life through living celibately canot be filled with my faith…

This feeling is always accompanied by thoughts of someone that I cared a great deal for almost as a reminder of the life I would be giving up. The more firm in my faith I become…having lost my faith for some time, the more these other feelings come up and I am having bad images…not of SSA but almost like nightmares that are not pleasant… I won’t go into them here unless anyone asks cos they’re not entirely relevent…

it troubles me greatly for many reasons.

S
 
MariaG said:
I fell back on what I knew and trusted. I prayed to God that He would show me if/why it was pleasing to Him to ask His mother to pray for us.

Now I understand not only with my head, but deep in my heart and soul why it is pleasing to God to ask Mary to pray for me too!

Fall back on what you know. You know Christ. Ask Him why and the Holy Spirit will lead you to all truth:thumbsup:
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that made me smile 🙂

I understand a lot of things academically, or in my head… there are very few things which I feel with my heart… and i’m more of a heart person lol. I’ve been trying to remember to pray for that, and it has helped me a lot.

S
 
er… i apologise for post 11, i was a little more open with that then i realised… I should think more before speaking!
 
Abira said:
*now I’m wondering whether I can give up the life I have in and wondering whether the sinful but pleasurable life offered to me has a value of its own!..it never ends.
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You might want to register and download the free mp3 audio program “The Truth” on Father Larry Richards website:
The Reason For Our Hope

This might help you make up your mind of what is really important in this life.

It is an excellent talk for both catholics and non-catholics alike, who want to walk with Jesus.
 
savedsinner said:
You might want to register and download the free mp3 audio program “The Truth” on Father Larry Richards website:
The Reason For Our Hope

This might help you make up your mind of what is really important in this life.

It is an excellent talk for both catholics and non-catholics alike, who want to walk with Jesus.
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thanks for the link, I’ll check it out…

my mind is already made up, I seem to have a hard time letting go and moving on.

Take care,

S
 
Abira said:
I just don’t want this to become one of those life decisions that takes years and years.
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What if it does? Don’t sweat the small stuff. The Holy Spirit does not force; nor does He rush. Same with the Catholic Church. You will always have enough time to mull through your resistances. It is good that you have resistance. That means that you are using the gifts of reason and observation which God gave you, instead of hiding them.

Here are a few strategies:
  • Create a thread for each of the things which is stopping you. Examine these things thoroughly, listening to what the Church has to say.
  • Join a Catholic charity (like pro-life) and simply work alongside Catholics for a bit.
  • Join a Catholic Bible study.
  • Take a university course in the Church Fathers from an accredited Catholic institute for higher learning – even on line.
Now the last thing I have to recommend is on the personal side. Please do not think that I am of the belief that you have some sort of monumental personal sturm and drang going on in your life. I don’t have any opinion at all. I don’t even know you and would not presume to generalize.

I simply wish to suggest that some folks have issues with the Church because they have unresolved issues with trust stemming from personal experiences. The Church often gets targetted for distrust because She is everywhere and therefore always available; and She is safe. Folks with trust issues would probably feel better by talking to a professional counsellor at the same time as seeking Catholic pastoral care.

It sounds like you are having troubles with doctrines. Keep in mind that Catholicism is a relationship-based faith. The doctrines are based on the relationships. Work on the relationships first.

God bless!

Oh and pray the Memorare:

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions for Katelynne, but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen
 
Abira said:
I suffer with SSA, and have done some very bad things in the past, though in comparison to my peers it was nothing ( I know that’s no excuse) and I’m afraid that I won’t be strong enough to live a chaste life and there’s something in me saying that even God can’t help me be strong enough… which I know is a load of rubbish… that the void left in my life through living celibately canot be filled with my faith…
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God provides tenfold in things that heal you when you walk away from things that hurt you.

In many respects some folks have experienced the SSA lifestyle as having some features of cult dependence. You might want to contact a counsellor who specializes in this perhaps through a Catholic agency. Other people have made it out before you. So, while it may be difficult, it’s not impossible. All things are possible with God.

🙂
 
Hi Abira,

In many respects I’m in the same position as you. I’m a Protestant, in many respects longing to join the Church, struggling with Marian doctrines. Have you read ‘Hail Holy Queen’ by Scott Hahn. I’m reading it right now and it is poweful. It’s certainly helping me to understand the Marian dogmas and is also very readable.🙂
 
Ani_Ibi said:
God provides tenfold in things that heal you when you walk away from things that hurt you.
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fingers crossed lol… I know nobody is ever tested beyond what they can cope with. Thanks for your helpful suggestions in your last post too.

S
 
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