I am at a point where I am at my whit’s end. I have tried and tried to discern his call for my life. All I know is that I am getting older and older, Days are getting drier and drier. I am at the point that God needs to tell me in laymen’s terms. I am tired of these games. I say “maybe God wants me to be a priest” no “maybe God wants me to be a music director or musician for my parish” nope “maybe God wants me to have a family and” nope not so far . I have to talk to the vocations director in St Louis. I am so gun shy that I have put it off for a while. I am literally affraid to call him, I am tired of being rejected. There comes a time in your life where you finally say screw it. I give up. Some people say that is when God has you where he wants you. Broke ready to listen. Well I am at the point I want him to directly tell me what he has planned for me and I am not taking no for an answer. Forgive me it just has been a real bad week and today is the worse of it. Scoob.