How do you know?

[sanctamaria17]

Thanks for the great responses everyone I know what I’m looking for now, but if anyone has any more opinions, they are certainly welcome

 

[lotusblossom]

When you’re dating someone, how do you know if you love them, or merely like being in love?

I’d say a few things along with a bunch of the above mentioned:

When you don’t have those “butterfly feelings” when you look at him, but know you still want to be by his side in every moment for the rest of your lives.

When you can be yourself completely and feel perfectly comfortable saying/doing things you have never done in front of a member of the opposite sex before. And when doing this, he doesn’t react shocked or turn away. (I was able to be completely silly with him and he with me, which is something neither of us had experienced dating before)

When you honestly want what is best for his soul and both of you are striving towards leading holy lives. Not perfect, mind you, because none of us are, but the effort is there .

For me personally, I prayed for a week- each day in front of the Eucharist - for God’s will and when I prayed, I felt such peace about this man and knew God had blessed me with a man who would lift me up and bring me closer to Him. I would have been fine being single if this man was not for me and that’s what really made me sure.

If you just like being in love, any man will do and he will not be someone you’ll necessarily be terribly compatible with.

 

[sanctamaria17]

It’s true about the silly things too. With my boyfriend, I forget things I want to say and at times, I said stuff that was completely random and goofy (because I was nervous at first) and he was very patient about that. He even thought it was cute

I do think about what’s best for him. I want him to be happy, with or without me, whatever God wills. However, it’s not an “any man will do” because there is nobody like him.

Being in a long distance relationship is teaching me so much. Like, to be grateful for the time we spend together, to trust each other, and to know that even though one of us can’t be there, we’re still thinking about the other. We do want God’s will to be done and we’re taking it slow.

Thank you guys This thread has really helped me to sort out my feelings.

 

[Em_in_FL]

One thing my mom taught me that I’ll never forget…
When I was very young she used to tell me to pray for my future husband. He’s probably a normal guy, going through normal phases of life, with struggles, emotions, and good times and bad. Ask God to bring you together in His time so your hearts can finally be united together with Him.

So, of course pray for your current boyfriend… but remember to keep your prayers to God about your “future husband” generally anonymous… He’ll lead you together in His own good time.

Oh and as for “How do you know?”…
Well, for me it happened fast, but it took a while for my husband to realize. I knew I’d marry him over 2 years before he actually proposed. I never got worried about breaking up or anything… I just knew. Weird, yeah.

 

[water]

It is when I truly want, help, and pray for the person I love to love God more and more each day. Ultimately, I pray for her to go straight to Heaven (skipping Purgatory)

 

[tcay584]

When you’re dating someone, how do you know if you love them, or merely like being in love?

To me, being in love is a quiet, all encompassing feeling. Hubby and I can go on a road trip and not speak for hours…just happy in each other’s company. Not “happy” in the way we were first happy…that wasn’t love, that was…something else. But now, after all the trials and temptations, all the long hours at work, and being cranky, being sick, being tired…he’s still the only one I want to be tired, cranky, and sick with.
I don’t think you can be in Love with someone when dating. It’s too energizing, too passionate, too distracting. You can be compatible, passionate, and always on your best behaviour when dating. Love takes time. Love takes hardship. Love takes loss. Look at compatibility, look at respect, look at shared interests while dating. It’s hard when dating because…well…
Not trying to be discouraging, but Love is something that two people have decided to fight for, in spite of all obstacles. It’s a living thing that grows with time…and trials. So don’t worry whether or not you’re “in love” just yet. Look for respect, look for kindness, look for that “something special” in the other that you would want to see in yourself. That’s a start to Love.

 

[chevalier]

Yup. And that’s why dating is a screwed concept.