How do you love your enemies?

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Dj87

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Throughout my lifetime, as I am sure many people would agree, I’ve found it difficult to truly love my enemies. While I never “Hate” anyone, wish ill of them or upon them, and always choose to avoid conflict, I can’t bring myself to say I truly love people who continually do bad things or treat me poorly. About five years ago the company I work for was purchased by “professional business people” who are unknowledgable of our industry and the problems thereof and have no consideration of the hardships the middle managers (like me) deal with. Every decision they make is about money with total disregard for the people. We were already operating on reduced staff, when they mandated we cut twenty people from our department. We were not slow so the remaining staff had to almost kill ourselves getting the production out. They’ve slashed benefits, pocketed employee vacation time that was earned and are making them re-earn it. Took banked sicked time that the employees had earned and accrued and pocketed it. Cut the employees health benefit. People that have been there for 20 years or more make good money while anyone who hasn’t been there will have their wage capped, meaning Dick will sit right next to Jane doing the exact same job while Jane will make $10 more an hour. They continue to hire secretaries, sales people, and assistants at the corporate level which has balooned to ten times the size it used to be. They cut the price of the product, have multiple prices for the customers. Customers that have done work with us for ten or twenty years pay full price while the new clients pay half or a third. Then they come back on us in manufacturing and tell us it’s our fault revenue is down. They have continually lied and taken the most dedicated employees and through them aside like garbage. A job that I once loved, I now dread. When the recession subsides, I will be looking for another job, but for now I feel like I’m in prision. The problem that I am having is that again while I wish no ill to befall any of these people doing these things and I do NOT hate them, I can’t bring myself to say I love them. Does anyone have any ideas or thoughts?:confused:😦 Jesus loves everyone even those who crucified him, and said you must love your enemies, how does a person get to the point where they can HONESTLY say they love those who persecute them, or do things that aren’t Christian?
 
Hi, well what do you mean by love? remember that love is primarily a choice, not a feeling… you don’t have to feel love for these people to love them
 
From the Gospel reading of yesterday;

**"They said, “Caesar’s.” Then he said to them, “Render therefore to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s.” (**Mt 2:21).

When we expect secular people to respect the laws of God, we are expecting way too much!

Sancta Maria, Mater Dei,Ora pro Nobis Peccatoribus!

mark
 
You already do ‘love’ them with your goodwill, as Monica says.
Occasional spontaneous anger doesn’t negate this as you do make a choice for their well-being.

Jesus adds: “But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”
Matthew 5:45.

You may be the only person who ever prayed for some of these people.

Luke 23:34 But Jesus was saying, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.” They do on the surface, but not in any real sense.

Acts 7:60 Then falling on his knees, he cried out with a loud voice, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them!” Having said this, he fell asleep.
 
I agree with Monica, you don’t have to feel love for them. I can’t see how one could drum up feelings of love.

Also you don’t have to seek out the company of your enemies. I’d be looking for other work now even if it meant reduced wages. It sounds as though those people need to be reported (that would not be hating your enemy if done truthfully) if they are taking away benefits accrued under the previous owners. That’s totally illegal in this part of the world.

To love your enemies, in part, you help them when they are in need, you respect them and most of all you pray for them. You also pray for yourself for the grace to love your enemies.
 
roveau said:
I agree with Monica, you don’t have to feel love for them. I can’t see how one could drum up feelings of love.

Also you don’t have to seek out the company of your enemies. I’d be looking for other work now even if it meant reduced wages. It sounds as though those people need to be reported (that would not be hating your enemy if done truthfully)** if they are taking away benefits accrued under the previous owners. **That’s totally illegal in this part of the world.

To love your enemies, in part, you help them when they are in need, you respect them and most of all you pray for them. You also pray for yourself for the grace to love your enemies.
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I have to say that I wondered about that myself!

The best thing that can happen to someone is that they become Catholic. Pray for their conversion.
 
I just got a weird idea. Maybe we should redefine what entities constitute “enemies.”

If my enemy is a human being, then I am challenged to love that human being. If my enemy is the behavior of a human being, then I am challenged to love the human being, though understanding that because of that person’s state in life they are doing what they are doing.

If there are two people, one who hurts me and the other who does not, then I can classify the one as my enemy. What if each of them does some things that hurt me and some things that help me? I cannot split them each and call half of the person my enemy, so that I know what name to call it. There was one guy at my parish who did things I thought were terrible, but one time when my family needed help he came to the rescue. I couldn’t decide if he was the evil one, or Mother Theresa.

My point is, that how you split the good/bad judgment of others and their behavior makes a difference in what or who is your enemy. This makes it all very complicated so my advice is to give up even defining people as your enemy – and instead p(name removed by moderator)oint the particular behavior, mindsets, attitudes, or whatever is the specific thing hurting you.

Here’s another thing I do. I imagine that my “enemy” goes before God and God asks him about what (s)he did to me. That is so scary I often pity the enemy in my mind, as I imagine what God might say or do. Once I even wrote an essay with the worst insults I could come up with to describe a person who did things I considered harmful, and I became so amused at it that the whole thing of them being the way they are became a laughing matter and no longer tugged at my heart. Then I tore up the essay.

(FWIW) 😉

Alan
 
Here is what I do: BABY STEPS :heaven:

—Pray to God for help to forgive and MEAN it. :gopray2:

—Remember the “Our Father”…if you want God to forgive you your sins, then you must forgive your enemies’ sin-faults against you. :bowdown:

—Do no harm. If one can’t say to or look at your enemy without enmity, then don’t say anything & don’t look at them. We don’t wish to get into more trouble than we’re already into. 🎉

—The first time or two that God’s Grace prompts you to speak, keep it short, sweet & only Godly words coming out of ones mouth. :bible1:

—Remember that God will see & know that you’re making efforts to make things better. He will love you all the more for it. :angel1:

—Be patient; don’t give up…we’re not allowed to give up. What if God gave up on us??? :yeah_me:
 
Scoochy said:
Here is what I do: BABY STEPS :heaven:

—Pray to God for help to forgive and MEAN it. :gopray2:

—Remember the “Our Father”…if you want God to forgive you your sins, then you must forgive your enemies’ sin-faults against you. :bowdown:

—Do no harm. If one can’t say to or look at your enemy without enmity, then don’t say anything & don’t look at them. We don’t wish to get into more trouble than we’re already into. 🎉

—The first time or two that God’s Grace prompts you to speak, keep it short, sweet & only Godly words coming out of ones mouth. :bible1:

—Remember that God will see & know that you’re making efforts to make things better. He will love you all the more for it. :angel1:

—Be patient; don’t give up…we’re not allowed to give up. What if God gave up on us??? :yeah_me:
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Prayer is what helps me. When I pray for good to happen to those I feel angry at (praying in a non-judgmental way), it’s easier to love them. Loving prayer softens the hardness of our hearts.
 
Dj87 said:
When the recession subsides, I will be looking for another job, but for now I feel like I’m in prision. The problem that I am having is that again while I wish no ill to befall any of these people doing these things and I do NOT hate them, I can’t bring myself to say I love them. Does anyone have any ideas or thoughts? Jesus loves everyone even those who crucified him, and said you must love your enemies, how does a person get to the point where they can HONESTLY say they love those who persecute them, or do things that aren’t Christian?
Click to expand...
Love is a choice not a feeling, Jesus did not have the warm fuzzies for his persecutors, he loved them, as in empathized with their fallen human condition and desired for them to convert and attain union with him in heaven.

Love is a choice.
so is where you work and the conditions under which you will work.
If you don’t like it you will walk, don’t wait for some unspecified time like “when the recession ends”. The day you start a new job is the day you should be polishing your resume, improving your productivity and work record, and networking and becoming educated in your field to be prepared and looking for the next job, whether it is in-house or out.

the other answer to your thread question is first to identify the enemy. The corporate moguls, however boneheaded, cutthroat and misguided are not the enemy. They do not harbor, corporately or as individuals, acrimonious thoughts and intentions toward you individually or any of your coworkers. None of them has singled you out. They are thinking and acting as they have been trained to do with a focus on the bottom line. Stupid and ill-judged, yes, malicious, no not unless you can prove malicious intent. The corporate types who have been convicted of such evils mostly directed their mal-intentions toward investors than employees.
 
Dj87 said:
The problem that I am having is that again while I wish no ill to befall any of these people doing these things and I do NOT hate them, I can’t bring myself to say I love them. Does anyone have any ideas or thoughts?:confused:😦 Jesus loves everyone even those who crucified him, and said you must love your enemies, how does a person get to the point where they can HONESTLY say they love those who persecute them, or do things that aren’t Christian?
Click to expand...
After I saw this and the other comments, I thought to double-dog-dare myself to mentally list three human beings whom I considered enemy-ish, and then say of each, “I love XX.” Then I did it. It really wasn’t so bad. Then I repeated it in a couple different tones of voices to make sure I wasn’t saying it sarcastically. (I’m not being flippant. This type of exercise really does work for me.) I’m not sure whether I love them more, but at least I think this has opened a door for me to consider loving them. Thank you for bringing up this topic.

When a child doesn’t know any better and breaks something, we don’t hate the child. We do wish the thing wasn’t broken. When the spiritual infants – deprived of true faith – broke Jesus’s body, I wonder if they came across like little children who were misguided but saved through His own sacrifice? Like one brother for many others, His adopted family.

Alan
 
RE: Post #1 from Dj87 Trial Membership

I forgot something. Make sure to offer up your sufferings to God & to Mother so that good will come out of it.
 
You love your enemies through the grace of God. That’s the only chance most of us have of even getting past hating those who harm us.

I have an enemy; someone who brought true evil into my life. And it took a lot of time before I finally prayed for that person. Not a big prayer. Not a great prayer. Not even really very much a sincere prayer. Just, every day, “I pray for the soul and well being of X.” I almost choked when I said it for the first few months. But, little by little, as months turned into years, I began to mean it.

I don’t want this person anywhere near me, nor do I feel the kind of warmth and affection towards that person which we normally associate with “love.” But I truly pray for that person’s soul and well being every day now. And that is a kind of love, I think. And, with God’s grace, that love released me from a lot of my own demons. Although my enemy had long since been stopped from bringing evil into my life, Evil continued to use my own responses to the past to remain in my present. Love is a great exorcist!! 😉
 
I find it so hard to love a former collegue of mine who was abusive to me. Sometimes, I feel I really hate him and want to hurt him. This person once slammed the door in my face and generally made my life hell with bullying. He made me feel so small and unwelcome in my place of work. One of the worst things is that he is an ordained minister in a Protestant Church and he also works in a University, teaching the Gosepl!! I wish I could shout from the rooftops about what he is really like but I can’t. Is God really asking me to love him because the horrible feelings he has left me with won’t go away. I have confessed my feeling to a Priest but I did not get much helpful advice. I do pray for this man and I pray for God to help me to forgive him but I can’t. Please help!
 
Dj87 - I know where you’re coming from. A couple of years ago we were lumbered with the most insidious of managers and it was desperately difficult to be in the same building with them, never mind loving them.

But I think it’s not so much love you’re asking about in your situation, it’s compassion - no matter how hard it got I never hated them. They were victims of circumstance, really - one had been ill and as a result was hurt, bitter and cold in their job, another tried his best but was clueless as to how much he was damaging his team, and none of them really realised what they were doing. I felt kinda sorry for them really. You have to stand your ground, stay firm, affirm what you know to be right and don’t put up with any twaddle from them, but if you understand these people have been shaped by the world around them and have not had guidance they needed to make them see it - it’s no excuse, but you can’t hate them for it.

Hate the act, not the man, in short. We all of us have crosses to bear in life - theirs in their attitude and blindness to what they’re doing. The proof was that these people were lovely to talk if you spoke about anything other than work!

Although I know it’s difficult. Sometimes you just wanna arggghhh! 😃 But seriously, if it gets too much, just take time out, go for a stroll, a coffee with a close friend.
 
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