How do YOU make your confession?

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Cyceri

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Hey, everyone,

Ever since I was a little girl, making my first confession, I have followed the standard outline for confession that I was taught. I would recite “bless me Father for I have sinned. It has been ___ weeks since my last confession.” I would list my sins and leave it at that, and then the priest would give absolution. In all, it took maybe two or three minutes to complete the sacrament.

But sometimes, I have noticed when I’m waiting in line for confession that some people take a lot longer than others–some take close to 20 or 25 minutes. I was just wondering, since I can’t really see what’s going on in the confessional, what happens in there for that long of a time.

I would love it if everyone could just briefly tell what a normal confession for them is like. Please don’t list any sins or anything, just generally what happens normally in the confessional for you. Thanks!
 
My first few confessions since I became Catholic 3 years ago I started out like I had heard in the movies, “Bless me Father for I have sinned…” Now I’ve started it differently. “I confess to Almighty God and to you Father that I am a sinner…”

I’m usually quick and to the point. A Discalced Carmelite got me out of the habit of beating around the bushes. Less than five minutes to list my sins and failings, then a few minutes of feedback from the priest. I get my penance and I do them usually within minutes of confession.

I remember one time I actually laughed during confession. It wasn’t long after I had converted and the few times I had confessed, the rite was started by the priest. Well, I was visiting the cathedral in Ft. Worth, TX and it was my first time inside an actual confession type room. I knelt behind the screen and waited for the priest to start. Only, he was waiting for me to start. We stayed that way for a bit in awkward silence when he spoke quite loudly, “I’m ready whenever you are!” I
 
I make my confessions similar to what you do. I walk in, kneel on the kneeler. Usually my priest will say ,

“Welcome. May the Lord be in your heart and help you to confess your sins.”

Then I say “Bless me father, for I have sinned. Its been X since my last confession. I confess the sins I remember and then number” and end with “…and I’m sorry for these sins, my forgotten sins, and all the sins of my life.”

Then the priest might ask a question or offer me some advice, gives me absolution. I thank my priest for hearing my confession and the wonderful work he does and leave.

I think what happens sometimes is that when the priest offers advice or asks some questions it what takes the longest. My priest (God bless his heart) has a knack for conversation and time gets away from him.
 
Could you title this thread “Confessions from the Confessional”? 😉

First of all, there is RARELY a line.

I will enter and the priest will usually say “hello” and we might exchange a greeting, then he will say something to the effect of “go right ahead”.

I start with “Bless me Father… it has been ___ weeks/months…since then, I have… I am sorry for these and all my sins.”

Sometimes he will have a question, sometimes a comment or advice, and sometimes not. Last time, he asked me, if I could, what I would give up to show sorrow. This time he had some advice on prayer, and we talked about that for a few minutes.

He gives me a penance, I say an Act of Contrition, and he gives me Absolution. I say thank you, and that’s that.

Sometimes I am out in under 2 minutes. Sometimes I have had a conversation not related to confession in the confessional, but not with anyone waiting in line, and not lengthy. Confessions in our parish are for 30 minutes on Saturdays and 15 minutes before daily Mass. We got to church with about 15 minutes remaining Saturday and 3 other people arrived at the same time. All 3 of them went in front of me, plus my 11 year old. My 13 year old went after me, and when I exited, I got the “What TOOK you so long?” question. Six of us in 15 minutes… no one took THAT long.

I always wondered what takes some people so long, too. WHen I returned to church after years away, I don’t think my confession took longer than 5 minutes.
 
We have some great confessors around here. I suspect that sometimes people use the confessional for what really amounts to spiritual direction. Just a hunch . . . I could be wrong.
 
i am only using in for a few mins, only confessing two or three things so as not to get too scrupulous.

if a nun goes to confession in front of you…be prepared to wait a long time 😑 lol
 
I think some people take longer with confession because they are more talkative than others and it takes them longer to get to the point. I normally know what I am going to say before I get to confession and I usually just list whatever it is I have done. If there aren’t many other people waiting I might ask a question, but normally I don’t.

Our parish priest is quite the talker, however, and he once talked to me for 20 minutes in confession, and what he said was very helpful. 😉
 
I begin my confession the same as you and also tell my sins and if I do need some guidance about a problem I’m having I will bring that up too…sometimes that takes a little time…but if it is complicated the priest will tell me to call him.
 
I do face to face confession (there is the option of both at my parish) and my priest starts off by crossing himself, with is the “signal” to cross myself and say “Bless me father for I have sinned, it has been (time) since my last confession. Since then I have…”

I used to have a very verbose, all of the time, but I have started to try to only say the minimum needed for the situation. If my priest has any questions or needs clarification, he’ll ask, but for the most part my confessions are about 10 or so minutes in all, advice, penance, and an Act of Contrition included in that. Used to it would be about 20 minutes, but I knew that it would be that long in part because of my own personal tendancies and I was struggling alot with many recurring sins that needed to be confessed every time.

This is a very interesting thread, and I’m glad it was started.

God Bless!
Ericka
 
I almost always go to a priest that I know and I never start with the “bless me Father” but just cross myself and tell him how long it has been. Then I make my confession in a conversational style. I always go face to face and if it is with my regular confessor it is usually by appointment and VERY informal and can take a long time since he is also my spiritual director. I don’t do a list.
 
I pretty much do the standard as all of you have mentioned. I think the key is to be concise, honest, and don’t beat around the bush. Like poster said above, Father will ask for clarification if needed. I basically confess and state what my biggest struggle might be and that’s where the Priest zeros in on in regards to advice.

Maybe 5-10 minutes tops and I am out the door.

Merry Christmas…
 
Cyceri said:
Hey, everyone,
But sometimes, I have noticed when I’m waiting in line for confession that some people take a lot longer than others–some take close to 20 or 25 minutes. I was just wondering, since I can’t really see what’s going on in the confessional, what happens in there for that long of a time.
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I have always wondered why some confessions take so long. I confess the same way as you describe, and it never takes more than five minutes unless the priest insists on recapping all the Mass readings (one of them does this, and it usually has little to do with what I confessed). Even still, when I am in line at my seminary, some people take considerably longer than others, and most of us confess weekly. Sometimes I wonder if the priest and penitent are talking about a football game or something.
 
Cavaille-Coll said:
I have always wondered why some confessions take so long. I confess the same way as you describe, and it never takes more than five minutes unless the priest insists on recapping all the Mass readings (one of them does this, and it usually has little to do with what I confessed). Even still, when I am in line at my seminary, some people take considerably longer than others, and most of us confess weekly. Sometimes I wonder if the priest and penitent are talking about a football game or something.
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That’s kind of funny, a few weeks ago I walked into the Confessional (face to face) on a Saturday afternoon and Father asked me if I knew the score of our local University’s football game. I told him I was too busy doing errands around the house to pay attention. But good ice breaker…really made it easier from there on out to confess some awkward stuff…but agree, usually not more than 5-10 minutes, especially if we’re prepared on what to say…
 
Drilling4Truth said:
I remember one time I actually laughed during confession. I
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My pastor, who is my regular confessor, and I laugh several times during my confession – for various reasons. Sometimes I laugh at his advice because it so simple yet profound that I can’t help but to.
 
I’m usually face-to-face, and after the Sign of the Cross is made, I just go right into what I’m guilty of. Father listens, offers some words of advice and encouragement, gives a penance, and asks for an act of contrition, which I always just say from my heart (since I don’t know the written one yet :o ). He passes absolution and we’re good to go! 👍

The hardest part for me is the actual saying the words of “I’m guilty.” Certainly puts things into perspective mighty quick for me (which can be a good thing!).
 
I used to go regularly to the same Opus Dei priest, and I would say from behind the screen, “Hi, Father, it’s Betsy. It’s been X amount of time since my last confession. I did A, B. & C. I am sorry for these and all the sins of my past life, especially sins of Y.” Then he would talk to me for awhile and give the penance and absolution. He was pretty chatty, so it sometimes took a few minutes. Some people stayed for a very long time, especially mothers of many children.

Now, with my favorite priest, I just start with, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned,” and go on the same way from there. He also talks to me about each thing I have mentioned, and if I’ve hinted that I don’t know what to do about something, he’ll give that special care. I don’t do that very often. After that, penance and absolution. But he takes his time with everyone - very few people in his line are in and out quickly. He’ll stay as long as he needs to on Saturday afternoon to get to everyone (I’ve seen him leaving the confessional after the Gospel of the evening Mass sometimes), unless he’s celebrating the vigil Mass. Then, the sacristan comes over and shoos the people to the other priest so Mass can begin on time.

Then, of course, there are the characters who take fifteen minutes at minimum every week. When I see one of those come in the door, I jump into line, ready or not, so I don’t get stuck behind them.

Betsy
 
stuart12 said:
i am only using in for a few mins, only confessing two or three things so as not to get too scrupulous.

if a nun goes to confession in front of you…be prepared to wait a long time 😑 lol
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I always wondered what a nun has to confess.

Anyway, my confession always starts off with “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned…”. I usually have the same confessor every week, so I only say “It’s been X number of weeks/days since my last confession” if it’s another priest hearing confessions. I usually have 2 or 3 sins per week to confess.

I’m not sure how long the confessional lines are at my church since I go early (I do notice some of the same people there who come weekly), but there might be 2-5 people in line for each of the 4 confessionals. Confessions will take longer on First Fridays, I’ve noticed. I’m guessing they confess once a month. There’s a few families who come for confession before First Friday Mass. Eucharistic Adoration on the first Sunday of the month has lines twice as long. During Lent (Lenten Mission), the lines are at their longest (takes 4-5 hours at least to get through all of the confessions with 4 priests hearing confession).
 
You hit on one of my minor pet peeves. Ha! Hard not to sin in the confession line. 🙂 We have long waits at all the churches around here. I think it’s because they have confession only once a week. Well, at my old school the lines were long too and it was every day. But alas…I think a lot of people use it as an opportunity for spiritual direction. I suppose it’s hard for priests to schedule that.

There are only 2 priests I consider “confessors” and with them I’m a little more detailed. One of them always does face to face. He’s almost Eastern in the way he proceeds…sometimes taking walks with us. The other priest is well known as a good confessor. If you get in his line, you know you’re going to wait.

I’ve moved away from both of those good men, so now it’s rare for my confession to go over 2 minutes. I honestly prefer the priest not to give advice. Just absolution and penance, thank you! But that’s me.
 
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As a new Catholic I find myself saying a short prayer before I enter the Confessional, I am the nervous type and have a hard time entering the Confessional, I should know better and that Father is there to help me, however I have recently started making a small list as I examine my conscience and the list reminds me what to confess, and sometimes I have hard time looking at Father but I do, and sometimes when I don’t look at him directly I look down or look at his black shirt and purple stole (sounds nuts I know) this happens to me sometimes because I am embarassed by my sins anyway it takes me no long than 5 or 10 minutes to me Confessions by Appointments are better. Mine are usually face to face, I don’t like to be behind a screen I feel as if I am hiding. I do a contrition if assigned and given a penance and asked to carry it out.**
 
CatholiCommit said:
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As a new Catholic I find myself saying a short prayer before I enter the Confessional, I am the nervous type and have a hard time entering the Confessional, I should know better and that Father is there to help me, however I have recently started making a small list as I examine my conscience and the list reminds me what to confess, and sometimes I have hard time looking at Father but I do, and sometimes when I don’t look at him directly I look down or look at his black shirt and purple stole (sounds nuts I know) this happens to me sometimes because I am embarassed by my sins anyway it takes me no long than 5 or 10 minutes to me Confessions by Appointments are better. Mine are usually face to face, I don’t like to be behind a screen I feel as if I am hiding. I do a contrition if assigned and given a penance and asked to carry it out.**
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I’m not a new Catholic, but I pray before I go into the confessional - for myself to make a good confession (I also still get nervous) and often for the priest who’s going to be hearing it as well.

I have to say, I DO go behind the screen - not only it is easier to talk that way, but also feels more like a sacrament (ie I’m confessing TO Christ THROUGH the priest) and less like just a counselling session. It’s also more humbling to kneel.

It’s pretty standard for me - ‘Bless me father, it’s been x time since my last confession, since that time I’ve … for these and all the sins of my past life I’m truly sorry’ (that lets him know I’m done). Most of the priests at the church I go to aren’t big talkers, unless I ask for advice or ask a question about something.
 
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