First, make sure you’re following and listening to Christ, rather than a made-up story about him based on the “hive mind” of generally underinformed Catholics.
That is, go back to the basics. God said from the cloud when introducing His Son, in which God is well pleased, “listen to Him.”
Mary last told anybody to “do what He says.”
Put those two together, and that’s the formula. What He says sounds bizarre and contradictory. Stick with it and open yourself to believe there is a world in which the first really is the last, and the greatest really is the one who serves. A world in which the one who shows up last may get paid just as much as the “on time” arrival. Where the tax repentant sinner is received with 100 times the joy of the righteous – so hey if you’re a sinner than join the club because the water is warm and gives life.
So how to do this? Read the gospels, and if you are short on time find actual quotes from Jesus and how He interacted with those around Him. Once for Lent I decided to start with the gospel of John

and read at least one chapter a day. It became so much more interesting reading it as a story instead of a clipping and a homily every week. Or go to
biblegateway.com and play the NIV version aloud while you either pay attention or do something else with it in the background.
All these are metaphors with as many applications as there are situations in each of our lives. I call this the “holographic nature” of the Bible. The entire Truth is revealed in many, many ways over the entire scripture in ways that speak to all, like Jesus being crucified. But then it has individual impact on each individual soul, and each particular time you think of it or hear it, or see something like it played out in your own experience.
The idea is that you hang around the word of God. Reading the scripture is like reading the words of the Man, but even if you’re not paying attention, it’s like you’re hanging around while they’re hanging around and you catch the vibes. You’ll learn much more about Jesus by encountering the four gospels Matt Mark, Luke, and John, and then I suggest try a NT book like Romans. If you taste and see this, and put aside what others have said about Jesus, and don’t tax yourself to comprehend a bunch of fancy theology about Him, just “hang with Him.” Your heart will pick up connections to His love that you would never get by listening to others preach and fight about Him.
About prayer, start with Heb 11:1 Faith is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen.
So basically, praying is kind of like wishful thinking, except with hope of truth or at least value. When I slam my hand in the car door, my mind and body “pray” right through my mouth, “Lord Jesus help me!” When I see an act of kindness extended, my mind wants to go “awww.” These are all prayers. Our every thought and action is a prayer in that wide sense. To me this is when one’s prayer life and “active” life merge. Every breath I take brings me gratitude for my ability to draw it, even though I don’t say, “Thank you Jesus” every 15 seconds. I feel that grateful for my life, but I don’t voice it.
I’m wondering if the reason that God and prayer both turn you suspicious, is that so many people think of prayer as basically giving voice to some wishful thinking or some odd and rather bland sounding word patterns that others repeat ad nauseum? If this kind of prayer doesn’t particularly impress you, you are not alone. Jesus has your back on this one:
We love to say the Lord’s prayer. LOVE to say it. But how many times do we actually look at ourselves and consider what Jesus told us immediately before giving us that template? Which btw is a conceptual template not necessarily a formula but that’s ok people like others to write their thoughts – that’s why Hallmark is so successful.
“When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, who love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on street corners so that others may see them. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward. 6 But when you pray, go to your inner room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you. 7 [c]In praying, do not babble like the pagans, who think that they will be heard because of their many words.[d] 8 Do not be like them. Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
When I see that Christians are “showing the devil who’s boss” by having big public well-organized “prayer protests” and “meet me at the flag” and the like, just can’t wait to beat the atheists at their own petty games and show them that by golly we can pray in their face whether they like it or not. And then we become livid when they return the favor by telling us we have to like them flaunting their perverted sexuality in our faces and making us accept it. So you can see that just because it is commonly accepted as prayer, and that somehow all prayer is good when you make it clear to everybody that you pray to the biggest baddest God of them all, and if they don’t like it then they can and probably will go to hell.
So how do you pray? Gosh I get so long winded so I’ll refer you to a book I like. It has a “look inside” section on Amazon. It is a modern and easy to read book, written by a Jesuit and used at some seminaries for their introductory prayer classes.
It goes through all expression of prayer included recited prayers (talking at God) and extemporaneous prayer (talking to God) and contemplative prayer (listening to God). And it does not insult the way that Catholics pray, but in fact gives suggestions to make it more meaningful yet.
Mark Thibodeaux S.J. (Author)