How do you politely blow off a salesperson who is your friend?

[stayathomemom]

This past summer, my daughter started taking cheerleading for our town’s youth football program. I made friends with one of the moms there, and she seems like she is a really good person.

Problem? She was divorced 3 years ago, and recently remarried in May. Together, her and her husband have 4 children, and are trying to climb their way out of serious debt. She has quit her job and started selling cosmetics for a well known worldwide company (ahem…the initials are M. K. ).

My husband has a very good job and makes pretty decent money, and this friend, in my opinion, is trying to take advantage of that. I tried to be nice and went and had a facial done after she had asked me 3 times, and bought around $70 of products from her. I really didn’t need them, but I have a hard time saying “no” sometimes when put on the spot. I thought it was over after that, but now I keep getting emails from her to buy MORE products. It’s an email with a link for me to click to keep receiving more emails. I don’t click on it…just delete it, but she WILL NOT stop!! She also wants me to meet her for lunch one day, so she can “discuss” with me if my products are working . I heard through the grapevine that she will have higher-ups from the cosmetic company there to bombard me and pressure me into joining their “sales” team. I have NO desire to sell the products or buy anymore, and have said those exact words to her. I am perfectly happy being a SAHM, and would not have it any other way.

What do I do? What could I say to her and still be polite? I don’t want to block her address, to me that would seem rude. HELP!!!

 

[puzzleannie]

I tell all cosmetics, soap, toiletries etc. salespeople I am allergic to their products (which I am). If she won’t buy that, you could threaten to sue her because of the supposed rash her products gave you.

 

[Dorothy]

You need to be honest and firm with her. Perhaps you can tell her that you enjoyed using the products you bought already, but that it just doesn’t fit in with your budget for cosmetics. If she is truly a friend she will accept that explanation and not bring it up again.

 

[newf]

I had a very pushy lady trying to sell me M.K. cosmetics. And like you, I bought a few things…but then came the phone calls, and the invitations to demonstrations, etc., etc…

I began to ignore all calls (thank goodness for caller ID). I threw out the brochures that came regularly in the mail. For the times she actually got a hold of me to invite me for something, I was busy, busy, busy and unable to attend all her functions. And eventually, she has figured out to leave me alone. Sheesh.

Hang in there. Just keep saying “no thanks” and let it go.

 

[Brenda_V]

Hey! I mail my books to my customers (Avon) but I don’t insist they call me or order from me - it is just an opportunity for them to see my books and I don’t just sell cosmetics . I do take them off my mailing list if they haven’t ordered in a while - or I cut them back to just at Christmas time when they are far more likely to want to buy something. I have also been known to talk someone out of a product because I didn’t think they needed it or could use it - I assess my customers by listening to their needs, if someone is a one skin care product kind of person then that is what I sell them! If they want a complete face care regimen I can give them recomendations for that too but ultimately it is their decision.

I don’t call my customers either and pester them about ordering nor do I e-mail them (even though I get these wonderful “postcard” type e-mail ads from the company) and I do just fine.

I do think that you need to take a step back and just keep saying no thank you, she will eventually get the message.

One other thing is if she is persistant when you are talking to each other (as in In Person at the games or whatever) and you have already tried the “no thank you” route and she wants to know you can easily answer “I don’t know” and keep saying that in a nice way with a nice tone of voice, eventually she will quit.

Oh, as for how the skin care products are working, let her know, “oh, you know I am not the kind of person who really uses this many products but when I run out of (give the name of the product you maybe liked) I will let you know, do you have a business card I can put on my fridge?” Then just keep telling her the same thing. You can also let her know not to waste her money on mailings to you either as you will not even look at them.

But to be fair, in order to make this kind of business go you have to be a little pushy! In order to develop customers I put books on peoples driveways and have gotten my fair share of rude calls chewing me out (some not so nice ones) for doing this but mostly people who are excited to find someone who sells my products.

Brenda V.

 

[MrS]

is it safe for a guy to post here??smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/12/12_10_7.gif

No I don’t use any of the products from either company … although I understand that there are men things available.

My daughter in law also sells for MK, and I guess does pretty well. My wife gets cards and emails from her… but no pressure to buy… which pleases my wife so much, that she sometimes calls the DIL just to order something.
smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/12/12_10_5.gif smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/12/12_10_1.gifsmileys.smileycentral.com/cat/12/12_10_3.gif

Anyway… go to the luncheon… and tell them you understand that only 5% of the population is geared to sales.

and you must be strongly in the other 95%… cuz you can’t even give away, much less sell, all the MK stuff you already bought.


.

smileycentral.com/sig.jsp?pc=ZSzeb098&pp=ZN

 

[Jay2]

Our neighbor sells MK (a recent inductee), and was so star-struck by the “possibilities” she became the world’s largest PITA…Pain In The A**… "Try this, This is the BEST, You’ve GOT to try this, I can’t believe you put that toxic “commercial” cr*p on you face… blah blah…

My wife did buy some stuff, and did find 1 or 2 products that she liked (eyeliner pencil & something else). This is all she’ll buy, and our neighbor finally got the hint that we’re only worth about $10 every 3 months.

We’ve got another friend that is an Amw*y distributor. We buy 1 item a year… a new filter cartridge for our water purifier.

Just shut them down early.

 

[jmcrae]

I sympathize with your friend. I couldn’t sell heaters to an Eskimo, or food to a starving person. I have this wonderful way of talking people out of what I meant to try to sell them.

Anyway, just let her know that you aren’t interested. Also, as a favour to her, you might let her know that she is being too pushy, and also that insulting your previous choices is probably not the best way to begin.

Personally, I make it a policy to buy from my friends before buying from strangers, but I realize that that doesn’t always work. (I even used to buy Amway, but the “up line” or whatever they are called wasn’t very reliable about getting stuff in on time, so we all pretty much got out of that business. I actually liked their products, though - but I couldn’t sell meat to a starving dog, never mind Amway, which is up-hill all the way - as soon as people hear the word “Amway” they turn and run away.

 

[stayathomemom]

Thank you all so much for the advice.

Gosh, I guess I am just such a wuss at stuff like this! I am trying to be really nice AND honest to her about it, but she REFUSES to take no for an answer. ARRRRGH!

I understand it’s her job, and she is just trying to promote her products, but enough already! She even has this pink cadillac SUV taped to her fridge, and tells me it will be hers in a few years if I would just help her out. I would always help someone in need and never let my neighbor starve, but at the same time, it is not MY responsibility to get her out of debt or pay for HER luxury vehicle!

I guess I need to grow a backbone

 

[Little_Mary]

Yeah, grow a backbone.

I’ve been peddling kitchen gadgets (initials P.C. ) off and on for ten years and she sounds way too pushy. If she is that hard on everyone, no wonder she is having trouble getting business (I’m assuming that if business was better, maybe she’d leave you alone )

Anyway, you will probably have to be firm with her. Just tell her that you’ll look at the new products as they come out but other than that tell her “don’t call me I’ll call you”

On the other hand, and only if you are willing to do this - tell her you will have a MK show for her once a year. That should make her happy and keep you supplied with free make up.

If you don’t want to though, don’t. Just be very firm - but kind - and straightfoward with her. She might be angry at first but if she’ll probably come around in a while.

 

[crystal]

You know, this new “friend” of yours doesn’t sound like much of a friend to me. I understand wanting to be nice and all that but in Dr.Phil’s words, “Is it working for you?” I think you have a right to ask her to stop soliciting to you. Tell her you’ll let her know if you’re interested in buying more and to please stop e-mailing you. Once you’ve asked her to stop e-mailing you, you can block her e-mails if she doesn’t stop.

I, personally, would not go out to lunch with her. I’d tell her that you just don’t want to go without explaining yourself. The reason is, once you explain yourself you give her the go ahead to try to talk you out of it.

I’d stop socializing with this person too. She’s got her heart set on material things and you are part of her ticket to them. That isn’t friendship.

I know it’s hard to do all this, it’s not easy at all but think of the alternative. She sounds insatiable. I know the type. they never have enough. Today it’s the pink suv, tomorrow it’s the time-share in Hawaii. Trust me.:yup:

crystal

 

[Arlene]

If you have already told her “no and please take me off your list”, then she is being too pushy.

If you have just said “no, not now, maybe later”, then she is just doing her job by following up.

I have a party plan business, and when people tell me no, I ask them, is it no forever, or just right now. Many times they will tell me things like, my house is being remodeled and call me in 6 months. Or something specific going on that they want me to call when it is a better time. Or maybe closer to the holiday buying season. And sometimes it is no, I don’t want to, I never will want to, don’t ask me again. I appreciate knowing this so I can save us both some aggravation by not calling them.

It is a fair assumption that consumable products will need to be replaced. Unless you make it clear that you do not wish to replace them with the product she is offering, she will continue to ask.

If you are making it clear, and she is not listening, then you may need to get a little firm because she has crossed the line into rudeness.

 

[stayathomemom]

I have firmly, but nicely told her “No, I have no desire to sell M.K.” Her response, "But I can change your mind…(and she proceeds to pull out all the “glamourous things” you can win for selling). Again, I say “I don’t want to do this, I am perfectly happy with my life.” Then she says she will catch me later, and constantly sends me these emails, which I delete.

I haven’t been seeing her at cheer practice lately…her husband has been bringing the children. BUT, I know I will probably see her Saturday for the game, and I KNOW she will put me on the spot about the emails and having lunch. I will say “no”, and walk away if I have to.

Yes, she is very pushy. So much so that she has done it in front of other cheer moms, and they have cancelled their appts. with her for their facials. I was the unlucky first client, who hadn’t seen the pushy side come out yet .

 

[katybird]

I think it’s time to take the emphasis off the word “polite.” This woman is out of control. You have BEEN polite, and very direct. She seems to have a pretty high tolerance for pain, so you’ll have to push her a bit harder…

Try telling her something like, “You know, I’ve tried to tell you that I’m not interested. I avoid your phone calls and delete your emails. You seemed like such a nice person when we met and I was hoping we could be friends, but our relationship seems to be a one-sided one where you harrass me and I try to avoid you. If you can’t talk to me without mentioning Mary Kay ever again, I’m going to have to ask you to please stop talking to me.”

That sounds harsh, but she may be one of those people who will respect nothing less. And, she may react badly. She may be crazy. That would be her problem, not yours.

 

[Reepicheep]

Stayathome:
If you’ve been polite and she just keeps trying, then:
either you resort to bluntness, or:
you endure the harassment.

If you choose to be blunt then:

No. I do not want your product.
No. I do not want to discuss your product.
No. I do not want to sell your product.
No, You can not change my mind.
No. I will not discuss my reasons for refusing.
No. I will not meet with you.
No. I do not want your email.
No. I do not want your brochure.
No. Do not call me.
No. Do not email me.
No.
No.
No.
No.

It is not necesary to use rude or abusive language: only to use clear, definite "no"s. Then repeat those clear, definite "no"s as many times as it takes.

 

[Em_in_FL]

There are a lot of companies out there that push this type of sales… what a shame…
Now, I use MK products and love them. My mom is a sales person, but only purchases them for the family… no pressure whatsoever, and she’s not doing it as a business…

I have been contacted by friends for their products in the past as well… and it’s just important to stay consistant (just like disciplining a toddler, right!?! )…
“Thanks, but no thanks.”
“I’m pleased with what I have now, if I want more, I’LL CALL YOU.”
“No thank you”…

She probably treats everyone like this… so it’s not just you, and it’s not just the MK company or the products…

Just be honest and consistant… but don’t be rude…

Good luck…

 

[mercygate]

This past summer, my daughter started taking cheerleading for our town’s youth football program. I made friends with one of the moms there, and she seems like she is a really good person.

Problem? She was divorced 3 years ago, and recently remarried in May. Together, her and her husband have 4 children, and are trying to climb their way out of serious debt. She has quit her job and started selling cosmetics for a well known worldwide company (ahem…the initials are M. K. ).

My husband has a very good job and makes pretty decent money, and this friend, in my opinion, is trying to take advantage of that. I tried to be nice and went and had a facial done after she had asked me 3 times, and bought around $70 of products from her. I really didn’t need them, but I have a hard time saying “no” sometimes when put on the spot. I thought it was over after that, but now I keep getting emails from her to buy MORE products. It’s an email with a link for me to click to keep receiving more emails. I don’t click on it…just delete it, but she WILL NOT stop!! She also wants me to meet her for lunch one day, so she can “discuss” with me if my products are working . I heard through the grapevine that she will have higher-ups from the cosmetic company there to bombard me and pressure me into joining their “sales” team. I have NO desire to sell the products or buy anymore, and have said those exact words to her. I am perfectly happy being a SAHM, and would not have it any other way.

What do I do? What could I say to her and still be polite? I don’t want to block her address, to me that would seem rude. HELP!!!

I was an MK rep for a couple of years, and it was GREAT. I loved the people; I loved the products; I made great friends.

Remind this pushy dame that one of the rules of MK life is to treat people the way you would want them to treat you.

The products are great; they sell themselves – to those who want or need them. She should not be driving you nuts.

When I stopped being a rep, I signed on as a customer with one of my colleagues. I get announcements about once a month but nothing more. I use only the skin care products and order them when I need them. No problem.

Delete her e-mails.

 

[LSK]

I work in a place where every time I turn around I am faced with a sales pitch of some kind - M.K., Avon, fund raisers for children I have never met, blah blah blah.

I finally have a phrase I use and I use it with distinction:

“No thanks. I cannot afford it”.

When they start with “it doesn’t cost that much” or “the demonstration is free” I figure they are opening the door to a conversation as to what I am trying to do with my finances ( I am trying to focus my energies on being completely out of debt by the time I retire in five years).

Most people do not want to hear the boring details of my ‘debt diet program’ and NEVER ASK AGAIN.

 

[stayathomemom]

Update:

I just checked my mail, and low and behold there is a card from her thanking me for buying her products from the facial, telling me how “awesome” I am, and she can’t wait to send me more info via email so I can buy MORE! AHHHHHHHHH!!

I am starting to get irritated now. I just threw the card away and will continue to avoid her. I hate to be that way, but I feel like I am being forced to.

 

[LSK]

Update:

I just checked my mail, and low and behold there is a card from her thanking me for buying her products from the facial, telling me how “awesome” I am, and she can’t wait to send me more info via email so I can buy MORE! AHHHHHHHHH!!

I am starting to get irritated now. I just threw the card away and will continue to avoid her. I hate to be that way, but I feel like I am being forced to.

No you are not being forced to avoid her. You are choosing to avoid her.
Ask yourself this very simple question: Why am I afraid to tell her the truth? What am I afraid will happen if I say to her, “I am not interested in having any more information about the products you are selling. Thank you so much for including me, but for now I am not interested in being a regular customer. If my situation changes, I will contact you.”
The reason I have chosen, in the past, to simply run away from someone rather than tell them the truth of any situation is the fear that they will have their feelings hurt and that they will no longer like me.
Yet, by choosing to avoid them I am usually hurting their feelings and behaving in a way that will cause them to dislike me.
Odd, isn’t it? The fear of being disliked often causes me to choose to do something that will cause me to be disliked!
Golly, I hate that part.