Ok, I know this sounds really stupid, but stick with me for a minute… are there rules to it? Certain things you’re supposed to say? Is there a right/wrong way to do it? I could use some guidence.
I haven’t been any kind of religion in years, so I really don’t know exactly what to do. But I’m in a situation, and thinking I need to start.
Thanks.
It’s really impossible to pray, “wrong” if you’re sincerely trying to spend time with God and to avoid distractions.
However, there are many methods of prayer which people find helpful.
What’s important, perhaps, for you, is to move beyond merely petitionary prayer, and try some meditative prayer. In other words, prayer where, ‘discursive reasoning’ is used, and we dwell on various objects of the faith, and relate them to our own lives.
Two methods I use are the rosary and sacred reading.
The rosary is very simple, but also very deep. I highly recommend it as an introduction to prayer. While one prays
vocal prayer (i.e, Our Fathers and Hail Marys), one meditates on a mystery (for instance, the Crucifixion). The meditation is the, “soul” of the vocal prayer. Since it is planned out in general (that is, the mystery one meditates on), and for what time (however long it takes to recite a decade of the rosary) it is a good place for beginners to start, I think. But don’t think that makes it a beginners only prayer-- its depth is excellent, and is more than suited for people no matter where they are in prayer.
If you feel uncomfortable spending an extended time in prayer, don’t worry. Don’t be afraid to start small, but do start! It is better to pray one decade of a rosary daily, then to pray all five and to dread it. Tell yourself that prayer is time
you are setting aside to be with your Beloved (God), and for no further goal than that-- it is its own end, because you meet Him in prayer.
The other, “method” I use is sacred reading (“lectio divina”). It really is a, “methodless method” which involves praying Scripture. There are four general steps, but they by no means are rigid and unforgiving.
Lectio (reading),
meditatio (meditation),
oratio (prayer),
contemplatio (contemplation).
Lectio refers to reading the Scripture-- you take a passage and read it. Usually short. Perhaps you commit it to memory and repeat it to yourself. It involves reading it
slowly and
attentively, reading it to internalize it, treating it devoutly. It is not read as we read today-- not for information, not quickly to squeeze all the informational value out of it-- but slowly and methodically.
From lectio, one moves to meditatio, or meditation. Here one uses the mind to run over what has been read. This involves any sort of using the imagination (images), or reasoning (the truths of the passage), and from there, applying it to oneself in one’s specific circumstances. It isn’t supposed to be a scholarly exercise where we make fine distinctions.
From meditatio, one’s heart is touch, and one goes to
oratio, or prayer. This is where one uses, “prayer of the heart,” or affective prayer.
It is this prayer, which eventually gives way to
contemplatio, or contemplation, which is wholly and totally a gift of God.
That’s it all very briefly. A good book to pick up on it, which is
very short (55 easy to read pages on it) is
Too Deep for Words by Thelma Hall.
Again, do what you’re comfortable with. Prayer is supposed to be about loving God. So take some time to spend with God, and have that as your prayer time. Don’t be afraid to start small (what sounds good for you? 5 minutes? 10 minutes? 15?). But the key with prayer is to be set to it firmly-- do it constantly. so if you commit to praying 10 minutes a day, do that without fail. Part of growth in prayer life is learning to pray even when we don’t feel like doing it.
I hope this helps!
-Rob
P.S. It’s not stupid at all. As Christians we recognize that we don’t know how to pray, that God has to teach us. An essential part of learning to pray is asking the Holy Spirit to guide you and teach you how to pray. The only rules are to love much and to persevere in prayer always.
