How do you quiet the ego?

[MJDorry]

Other than just through deliberate prayer, goin about your day-to-day activities, how do you quiet your ego. I can’t seem to. I’m angry, depressed, furious, prideful, passive aggressive, yada yada. I experience all these dark emotions most of my days and to top them off, I have a variation of Pure O OCD known as Harm OCD. Even worse, I may have a personality disorder which keeps me just outside the scope of reality and in my own head. Throw all of these things together and some times, most frequently recently, I taunt myself into thinking I wouldn’t mind going to Hell and giving God the cold shoulder in pursuit of my own selfish desires.

Most people seem to ignore God when they want to do something selfish, or they lose a bit of control. I seem to very well aware of my own selfish desires and how they contrast, and although I don’t much act on them, I often think of deliberately turning from God. When faced with a disagreement about God’s word, most people seem to conclude the faith to be false. I don’t have that luxury–I know it to be real so when I’m faced with a disagreement, I become antagonistic toward God.

I know all of this comes from a hurt, rebellious ego, but I don’t know how to quiet it to begin to try and develop a relationship with God. I spend more time bickering with myself over whether I want to obey God, rather than just just doing it.

I feel totally Hellbound, not that I think my sins have caught up with me, but I fear choosing Hell.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

Live in the present moment, which is where God is.

This weakens the ego.

The ego dwells on the past, and looks to form the future according to the false images it creates.

In the present, the ego becomes weak.

Hope this helps.

God Bless
Jim

 

[PrayRosary]

Live in the present moment, which is where God is.

This weakens the ego.

The ego dwells on the past, and looks to form the future according to the false images it creates.

In the present, the ego becomes weak.

Hope this helps.

God Bless
Jim

Nice

 

[105lynne]

Live in the present moment, which is where God is.

This weakens the ego.

The ego dwells on the past, and looks to form the future according to the false images it creates.

In the present, the ego becomes weak.

Hope this helps.

God Bless
Jim

Wow. Well, there ya go…

 

[Robert_Sock]

This is so well written so well and points out how to fight temptation.

CHAPTER 13 – On Resisting Temptations [The Imitation of Christ]

So long as we live in this world, we cannot remain without trial and temptation: as Job says, “Man’s life on earth is a warfare.” We must therefore be on guard against temptations, and watchful in prayer, that the Devil find no means of deceiving us; for he never rests, but prowls around seeking whom he may devour. No one is so perfect and holy that he is never tempted, and we can never be secure from temptation.

Although temptations are so troublesome and grievous, yet they are often profitable to us, for by them we are humbled, cleansed, and instructed. All the Saints endured manly trials and temptations, and profited by them; but those who could not resist temptations became reprobate, and fell away. There is no Order so holy, nor place so secluded, where there are no troubles and temptations.

No man can be entirely free from temptation so long as he lives; for the source of temptation lies within our own nature, since we are born with an inclination towards evil. When one temptation or trial draws to a close, another takes its place; and we shall always have something to fight, for man has lost the blessing of original happiness. Many try to escape temptations, only to encounter them more fiercely, for no one can win victory by flight alone; it is only by patience and true humility that we can grow stronger than all our foes.

The man who only avoids the outward occasions of evil, but fails to uproot it in himself, will gain little advantage. Indeed, temptations will return upon him the sooner, and he will find himself in a worse state than before. Little by little and by patient endurance you will overcome them by God’s help, better than by your own violence and importunity. Seek regular advice in temptation, and never deal harshly with those who are tempted, but give them such encouragement as you would value yourself.

The beginning of all evil temptation is an unstable mind and lack of trust in God. Just as a ship without a helm is driven to and fro by the waves, so a careless man, who abandons his proper course, is tempted in countless ways. Fire tempers steel, and temptation the just man. We often do not know what we can bear, but temptation reveals our true nature. We need especially to be on our guard at the very onset of temptation, for then the Enemy may be more easily overcome, if he is not allowed to enter the gates of the mind: he must be repulsed at the threshold, as soon as he knocks. Thus the poet Ovid writes, “Resist at the beginning; the remedy may come too late.” For first there comes into the mind an evil thought: next, a vivid picture: then delight, and urge to evil, and finally consent. In this way the Enemy gradually gains complete mastery, when he is not resisted at first. And the longer a slothful man delays resistance, the weaker he becomes, and the stronger his enemy grows against him.

Some people undergo their heaviest temptations at the beginning of their conversion; some towards the end of their course; others are greatly troubled all their lives; while there are some whose temptations are but light. This is in accordance with the wisdom and justice of God’s ordinance, who weighs the condition and merits of every man, and disposes all things for the salvation of those whom He chooses.

We must not despair, therefore, when we are tempted, but earnestly pray God to grant us his help in every need. For, as Saint Paul says, “With the temptation, God will provide a way to overcome it, that we may be able to bear bear it.” So, let us humble ourselves under the hand of God, in every trial and trouble, for He will save and raise up the humble in Spirit. In all these trials, our progress is tested; in them great merit may be secured, and our virtue become evident. It is no great matter if we are devout and fervent when we have no troubles; but if we show patience in adversity, we can make great progress in virtue. Some are spared severe temptations, but are overcome in the lesser ones of every day, in order that they may be humble, and learn not to trust in themselves, but to recognize their frailty.

 

[mercytruth]

Other than just through deliberate prayer, goin about your day-to-day activities, how do you quiet your ego. I can’t seem to. I’m angry, depressed, furious, prideful, passive aggressive, yada yada. I experience all these dark emotions most of my days and to top them off, I have a variation of Pure O OCD known as Harm OCD. Even worse, I may have a personality disorder which keeps me just outside the scope of reality and in my own head. Throw all of these things together and some times, most frequently recently, I taunt myself into thinking I wouldn’t mind going to Hell and giving God the cold shoulder in pursuit of my own selfish desires.

Most people seem to ignore God when they want to do something selfish, or they lose a bit of control. I seem to very well aware of my own selfish desires and how they contrast, and although I don’t much act on them, I often think of deliberately turning from God. When faced with a disagreement about God’s word, most people seem to conclude the faith to be false. I don’t have that luxury–I know it to be real so when I’m faced with a disagreement, I become antagonistic toward God.

I know all of this comes from a hurt, rebellious ego, but I don’t know how to quiet it to begin to try and develop a relationship with God. I spend more time bickering with myself over whether I want to obey God, rather than just just doing it.

I feel totally Hellbound, not that I think my sins have caught up with me, but I fear choosing Hell.

If we present this sort of honesty to God in daily prayerful humility, He eventually will deliver us from our egos. Maybe not completely while we are living in our fallen nature, in a fallen world, among fallen angels.

This denial of self, and taking up our cross daily is the active part of our will, while everything else is the passive reception of God’s graces through His Holy Spirit. We are powerless to rid ourselves of the negative emotions and selfishness within us. We can only face them and acknowledge them, and then ask God to deliver us and heal us from these destructive aspects of our egos through our Lord Jesus Christ.

As I understand it, developing a relationship with God is actively humbling ourselves before God in prayer, and in faith receiving His sacraments and His sacred word, while awaiting for His graces to be imparted within us.

God’s peace be with you

micah

 

[Julia_Mae]

Other than just through deliberate prayer, goin about your day-to-day activities, how do you quiet your ego. I can’t seem to. I’m angry, depressed, furious, prideful, passive aggressive, yada yada.

Oooo - you sound just like me. Except for this:

I feel totally Hellbound,

Nope - nada choosing hell, no way. Neither would you. You are having a lot of emotional noise in your head and - you’ll like this - they have pills for that now! Stop beating on yourself and go see a shrink. Nope, don’t think you are crazy, but sometimes our brains get a bit out of whack and we have these intrusive thoughts and difficulty controlling emotions and… well, all this junk you are referring to.

You are okay. You love God. He loves you. Give yourself a Christmas present and see about getting an assessment.

And pray. Prayer in large doses helps enormously.

 

[GEddie]

Hey!!! Leggo my ego!!!

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

Mortification Mortification Mortification. That seems to be the answer to everything.

 

[Lady_Love]

The ego makes the most ruckus when it is about to be defeated!

I suggest going to daily communion. The scripture says, “How can one enter into the house of the strong man, and spoil his goods, except he first bind the strong man?” Mathew 12:29 You cannot bind the “strong man,” you need Jesus to do this. My priest told me that Angels are too smart for you to combat and the only way they can be overcome is through the intelligence of our superior God.

I’m not saying that going to communion will shut up the ego indefinitely but God is in charge of you when He is in you and there is no need to worry.

When my ego starts going nuts I repeat this:

Truth: You are good enough just as you are, You are unique, original and special without even trying, you don’t have to change yourself - love changes you, you have never lived a moment where you were not loved, you are not alone, all your needs are met and you don’t need anything more than what this moment is offering you, you will live forever, and everything is o.k., You have no need to fear Jesus has put everything in order. (It may not look like it is in order but it is, its like a painting that just isn’t finished yet.)

 

[AlanFromWichita]

You have given a lot to go on. I see a couple of major categories that might deserve separate treatment. First, let’s look at the runaway emotions:

I’m angry, depressed, furious, prideful, passive aggressive, yada yada. I experience all these dark emotions most of my days

What I’m interested is what sort of thoughts or events trigger these? For example when you are angry, furious, the “aggressive” part of passive-aggressive – is it at yourself? Things you have no control over? Things you think you should be in control over? Are there particular people and events that set you off, that might help you find the root of the problem?

Depressed – I’ve been depressed and I put that in a whole different category as everything else.

I may have a personality disorder which keeps me just outside the scope of reality and in my own head. Throw all of these things together and some times, most frequently recently, I taunt myself into thinking I wouldn’t mind going to Hell and giving God the cold shoulder in pursuit of my own selfish desires.

More of personal wishes, like accumulating things? Or like social power, as in people treat you well and those who don’t “get what’s coming” somehow?

I become antagonistic toward God.

Do you see God as the one who brings about the problems, the one who should be fixing them, or maybe both?

I know all of this comes from a hurt, rebellious ego, but I don’t know how to quiet it to begin to try and develop a relationship with God. I spend more time bickering with myself over whether I want to obey God, rather than just just doing it.

I feel totally Hellbound, not that I think my sins have caught up with me, but I fear choosing Hell.

I’m not so sure your ego is rebellious against God. It almost sounds like you have a great deal of truth you’d like to tell and can’t find a worthy audience for it. You are honest and it’s hard to talk to others without them getting or at least acting judgmental. Others disagree with you about right or wrong, is that what you said – and is that part of what gets you going? Do you have reasons that make sense to you even though you admit to being “slightly outside reality?”

Alan