How do you respond in this situation? divorce, cheating, kids/spouses involved

[LifeIsIronic]

I have grown close with a woman I work with. She is a really nice lady but lately her behavior has been really weird for her. she decided she wanted to leave her husband, but she started a relationship with someone else before she did . She is not Catholic, so her decision to divorce I will leave out of it, I guess it’s her choice. BUT, it bothers me she started an affair while still with her husband, and she and her husband are STILL married. Well, so is the guy she’s having an affair with!!! They are BOTH married. They both have kids, and they are living together though (although he has a job that keeps him away from home so I am not even sure his wife knows he’s “left” her yet or that he reallky has).

So, I heard from a mutual friend that they were trying to have a baby :bigyikes:. I couldn’t believe it and thought they weren’t possibly that stupid to try and get pregnant after a month or two of being “together”, but she writes me last night that she’s pregnant. I was like, “congratulation”. I mean, what else am I supposed to say???

I am also feeling a little jealous because I am pregnant lol and I had a VERY rough pregnancy with my first and this pregnancy is going much better but I was kind of finally getting the attention I never got with my son because I am getting bigger and and everyone’s getting excited around me - I had my son very early and never experienced that. Now I feel like I am not going to get to really experience it now either!!!

So I guess I feel a little mad at their situation AND jealous. How should I be handling this???

Edit: also, I can’t distance myself because we work together and usually we are the only ones working together and I am her boss. we have to work together and now some stuff we do is a little physical so I don’t know how this is going to work out because since I am high risk I definately can’t do any of the physical stuff and she was the one that could, but now I am not sure she can! It just complicates everything!!!

 

[dashso40]

Usually, pregnant women can do physical work if it’s not too hard, if of course,it is not a high risk pregnancy, so if she is having a normal pregnancy, some physical work, she can do…
Now, I think the best thing is to try your best to stay out of the whole situation, when she starts talking about her lover, partner, whatever, try to change the subject…but I think it’s best to stay out of it…commenting on her situation will only start problems and if you work with her, you want to keep a peaceful work environment…

 

[kage_ar]

As her boss, keep your professional distance. When she brings up her personal life, do not respond, change the subject to work related or neutral things (the weather, sports, etc.)

BTW, the divorce and adultery laws are God’s laws and bind all human beings, they are NOT only applicable to Catholics.

 

[ready]

I agree with the two previous posts.

Try and just focus on your own pregnancy and rejoice in it. Don’t even care about what else is going on as far as people giving the other woman attention. Just enjoy being yourself pregnant and forgive your friend for taking away from the glory of your pregnancy. She doesn’t mean to. If anything, feel bad for her and for her soul. She’s in a really bad situation for her soul and needs serious spiritual help, so try and let the jealously pass and really pray for her. If nobody prays for her she may even go to hell!

 

[Snugglebugmom]

As her boss, keep your professional distance. When she brings up her personal life, do not respond, change the subject to work related or neutral things (the weather, sports, etc.)

BTW, the divorce and adultery laws are God’s laws and bind all human beings, they are NOT only applicable to Catholics.

I think this is great advice! I would keep my distance emotionally, and keep the personal conversations to an absolute minimum. I realize that is harder than it sounds. I do think it is the best way to handle it though, for your own peace of mind if for nothing else. Best of luck to you!