How do you sustain yourself

[CreatioNova]

… one month into my return to the church and Im failing - miserably.

I missed confession again this week…

I havent kept up my morning and evening prayer (but I have said a prayer of sorts each day)

Reading these threads my mind is reverting back to it’s old thoughts, the stuff that has kept me away from the church for 30 years for example

Do I actually really believe masturbation is wrong - no

Am I prolife - if my teenage daughter got pregnant Im not so sure

Porn - dont much care either way but it doesnt make me loose any sleep

Sigh - I could go on - I know Im still an unbelievable mess religiously, but I cant believe that its taken only a month for me to be already slipping…

Ho do you guys keep yourself sustained in your faith and correct your thought processes that you know are wrong and sinfull…

 

[HelenRose]

You need to fill your life with new thoughts and new behaviors. Go out and feed the poor, clothe the hungry, visit the elderly and sick. Become so busy with the work of Christ that you do not have time to do anything else. Above all pray.

My teenage daughter became pregnant and I became a grandma. No issue on that question for me.

 

[DustinsDad]

… one month into my return to the church and Im failing - miserably.

I missed confession again this week…

I havent kept up my morning and evening prayer (but I have said a prayer of sorts each day)

Reading these threads my mind is reverting back to it’s old thoughts, the stuff that has kept me away from the church for 30 years for example

Do I actually really believe masturbation is wrong - no

Am I prolife - if my teenage daughter got pregnant Im not so sure

Porn - dont much care either way but it doesnt make me loose any sleep

Sigh - I could go on - I know Im still an unbelievable mess religiously, but I cant believe that its taken only a month for me to be already slipping…

Ho do you guys keep yourself sustained in your faith and correct your thought processes that you know are wrong and sinfull…

Here’s a quck list of ideas that came immediately to mind (in no particular order):

• Pray, pray, pray. Set aside a few minutes in the morning especially to start your day of in the right direction. The ol’ morning offering!
• Try to pray the rosary daily, or at least a couple times a week if daily is too hard.
• Make use of the sacramentals - wear a blessed Miraculous Medal for one if you’re not already.
• Get rid of the TV!!!
• Read the Bible.
• Get yourself a good ol’ catechism. This edition of the BC #3 is my favorite - straightforward and easy to understand, and deep enough commentary for adults.
• Read good solid catholic books and writings (from the saints especially).
• Spend some time each week (outside of Mass) in front of the Blessed Sacrament. Eucharistic Adoration is great - but even praying before Our Lord in the Tabernacle is great - quiet time alone with the Lord works my friend.
• When you fall - drag yourself back in the ol’ confessional and make good confessions. Hold nothing back - even the doubts and such. Jesus is there waiting - He *cannot *refuse a contrite heart!
  It’s His grace that sustains us my friend - and he’s always offering it to us. All we have to do is accept the gift. So keep plugging away my friend - grab that ol’ cross and follow the Lord! Eternity awaits and this life is a blink of an eye!!!

Peace in Christ,

DustinsDad

 

[markadm]

Everything everyone else said.

The thing about filling your life with other things cannot be underestimated. If you allow yourself to think about certain things too much, you’ll just go round and round like a hamster in a cage, and there will never be the space for growth, creation or change.

So, yes, take the pressure off (that includes confession), and then go do the work of God (and it doesn’t always have to be like a miracle-worker; sometimes, it’s just doing the weeding in the garden when we said we would…).

 

[SanJudas]

God save all here.

Great advice in the posts above, for all of us.

CreatioNova,
You’re already off to a good start–you picked a Latin username! I had a similar experience. I was away from the Church for almost fifteen years before I was called to come back. It took me about two years after that before I finally accepted all that the Church believes and teaches. During that time, I had a few “dry” periods, kind of like St. John of the Cross’s “dark nights of the soul.” My faith itself didn’t vanish, but I doubted that after so much time away and so many sins that I could be acceptable again to Christ and our Church. I had to remember a saying of Winston Churchill–“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” I kept praying, saying the Rosary, going to Mass, reading Catholic literature, watching EWTN. Those first two years I missed Mass several times, didn’t pray some days, but I perservered and those things became habitual, and by the end of the second year if I didn’t do them, I felt bad. Now, five years later, I derive great joy from those same actions and I wouldn’t dream of not doing them. My acceptance of all that the Church teaches grew simultaneously and now I find myself in total harmony with Her. I wish I could hear Mass every single day. I attend on many days that are not obligatory. I got rid of a lot of my secular literature, music, and movies that I realized contained messages contrary and damaging to my faith. Even when I have a personal setback or disaster I don’t waver.

It’s just like beginning an exercise program or a diet. At first it’s pure hell and then it becomes habitual and salutory. Stick with it. And tell your priest about it, in the confessional if necessary. Even our clergy has had similar experiences.

 

[Fergal]

… one month into my return to the church and Im failing - miserably.

I missed confession again this week…

I havent kept up my morning and evening prayer (but I have said a prayer of sorts each day)

Reading these threads my mind is reverting back to it’s old thoughts, the stuff that has kept me away from the church for 30 years for example

Do I actually really believe masturbation is wrong - no

Am I prolife - if my teenage daughter got pregnant Im not so sure

Porn - dont much care either way but it doesnt make me loose any sleep

Sigh - I could go on - I know Im still an unbelievable mess religiously, but I cant believe that its taken only a month for me to be already slipping…

Ho do you guys keep yourself sustained in your faith and correct your thought processes that you know are wrong and sinfull…

I sustain myself by being reminded time and time again through my human frailty that I am human, I am a sinner, I have failed and I will fail again but that through all that I am loved, I am a son of God and He awaits me and rejoices in me each and every time I choose to repent of those sins.

Listen, no matter what the evil in your life, no matter what the failings you are prone to remember one thing: John Paul II told us in the encyclical ‘Dives in Misericordia’, that “evil has a divine limit placed upon it and that limit is Mercy.”

 

[Simon_X]

I also believe very good advice for us all above. I might add a few of my own thoughts.

Don’t feel that you can or should do everything and that you’re a failure if you can’t. (excuse the grammer)

Pick an aspect of Catholicism that you’re interested in and study that to help inspire your faith. Could be by reading about Saints, learning about Icons, studying the Church Fathers, or if really new to our faith, pickup a book on Sacraments ect… But don’t try to do it all at once. You’re find knowledge will help you understand and appreciate your faith.

On the spiritual side, maybe try going to confession just once a month or so (unless need to go for serious sins). Continue Sunday Mass, of course, but if you can go to a daily Mass, you might find that inspirational and rewarding too.

Pick a Catholic devotion or two that interest you. Rosary great for some, but a little harder for others. There’s novenas or Scripture reading that might be a good start. If not real sure how to pray, get a prayer book with different prayers for morning offerings, ect…But don’t get overwhelmed.

Our spiritual life is a journey.

Most of all, enjoy and appreciate your faith. It is a gift from God.

 

[Citizen123]

Sigh - I could go on - I know Im still an unbelievable mess religiously, but I cant believe that its taken only a month for me to be already slipping…

Like the woman at the well, Jesus accepts where we are at this moment.

But God proves his love for us in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)

Think about that … He doesn’t expect us to be holy & perfect from the start. It really is all about the journey we have with Him. He makes us Holy; He transforms us as we listen to the Holy Spirit and follow Him.

Don’t be too hard on yourself; real transformation takes time and perseverence. Faith is a gift; I often pray He increases my faith; when you feel you are slipping please don’t be afraid to ask for His strength and His peace and His Wisdom.

God bless you; I will be praying for you.

 

[joamy]

Excellent advice… can’t tell you how much going to confession has helped me through rough spots. Daily mass when you can get there is helpful too.

 

[CreatioNova]

Thank you all so very very much for your kind and considered support.

You don’t know what a boost it has been just reading this. Tomorrow is a new day - I shall redouble my efforts. Pray for me.

I’m so glad I found this community on line. Although I struggle with some of the views attitudes and opinions expressed in some threads, it’s all part of my reeducation and I’m so grateful you are all here.

God Bless

 

[HelenRose]

Thank you all so very very much for your kind and considered support.

You don’t know what a boost it has been just reading this. Tomorrow is a new day - I shall redouble my efforts. Pray for me.

I’m so glad I found this community on line. Although I struggle with some of the views attitudes and opinions expressed in some threads, it’s all part of my reeducation and I’m so grateful you are all here.

God Bless

Just remember that we are all sinners and everyone here has much to learn. I loved watching our beloved Pope. He handles people with whom he disagrees with such love and respect.

I admire that so much. He affirms the dignity of each human being while gently and firmly teaching the hope of Christ.

I am going to get written transcripts of what he said and study, not only what he said, but how he said it. We need to listen and learn from him.

 

[sphilomena]

All good advice above! Do try to go to daily Mass when you can. That and my morning prayer time keep me going. One of the biggest “conversion experiences” I had was many years ago, renewing my consecration to the Blessed Mother. She is the spouse of the Holy Spirit, and He acts very powerfully in our lives when we are close to Blessed Mother. Both of them working on us together is dynamite! I could talk for hours about her impact on my life.

 

[Fergal]

Thank you all so very very much for your kind and considered support.

You don’t know what a boost it has been just reading this. Tomorrow is a new day - I shall redouble my efforts. Pray for me.

I’m so glad I found this community on line. Although I struggle with some of the views attitudes and opinions expressed in some threads, it’s all part of my reeducation and I’m so grateful you are all here.

God Bless

And remember that we are a community of perpetual beginners!! We begin and begin again yet on each time we begin we begin from a step further ahead.

Don’t despair when things go wrong, don’t linger in self pity but pick yourself up, run to your heavenly Father who awaits you in the Confessional and begin again!!!

 

[Yerusalyim]

… one month into my return to the church and Im failing - miserably.

I missed confession again this week…

I havent kept up my morning and evening prayer (but I have said a prayer of sorts each day)

Reading these threads my mind is reverting back to it’s old thoughts, the stuff that has kept me away from the church for 30 years for example

Do I actually really believe masturbation is wrong - no

Am I prolife - if my teenage daughter got pregnant Im not so sure

Porn - dont much care either way but it doesnt make me loose any sleep

Sigh - I could go on - I know Im still an unbelievable mess religiously, but I cant believe that its taken only a month for me to be already slipping…

Ho do you guys keep yourself sustained in your faith and correct your thought processes that you know are wrong and sinfull…

To me you sound like a normal Catholic in the US struggling with normal issues. There are no perfect Catholics except in heaven. Our grace is found in the attempt to be faithful. Weekly confession, while a blessing, is not required. God would rather you pray from your heart than by rote, the morning and evening prayers give you good opportunities to do that, but even if you miss them you’re praying throughout the day, which is GREAT! So, you disagree with the Church on masturbation being a sin, to you assent to the Church or do you go out and teach the church is wrong? Pray for your heart to be changed to conform to Christ. The “prolife” daughter issue, I’m sure many share that same angst and I think you’d be surprised at how prolife you really are if the issue arose…I pray you don’t face the issue of a pregnant daughter until she’s married.
People generally lose sleep worrying about the things that directly touch them. You don’t have to go out and campaign against porn to be a good Catholic. MODEL with your life…that doesn’t mean you have to be an activist.
You remain sustained by a daily prayer life, even if it isn’t morning and evening prayers and by mass attendance and recieving the Eucharist.

 

[danlaupat]

<<<<<Sigh - I could go on - I know Im still an unbelievable mess religiously, but I cant believe that its taken only a month for me to be already slipping…

Ho do you guys keep yourself sustained in your faith and correct your thought processes that you know are wrong and sinfull…>>>>>

What you are experiencing is quite normal.

I empathize with you because I have shared the same anxieties as you in my journey as a Catholic. I, too, am a recent convert (2007). Others here have given excellent advice but I wanted to add a bit more.

Please, please do not be so hard on yourself. Give it time and God WILL transform you. This is not something that occurs overnight. You are rationalizing why you may not agree with some of the Church’s teachings because you feel you cannot live up to what they require. However, you will come to a point where you are overcome with the feeling that you do not want to offend God and you will experience a change in both your heart and your outward behavior. You will experience a deeper love for God that serves as the foundation for all that you say and do–and suddenly it will be easier to accept that masturbation and other negative habits are sinful (I, too, struggled with the masturbation issue and at one point convinced myself that it wasn’t a sin).

God works wonders in our lives, but we have to be patient.
God knows that we are imperfect, and his forgiveness is unending. If you surrender to Him and accept that he is the one that can change you, you will go easier on yourself–you will not beat yourself up for every sin you commit, but instead you will go to him for reconciliation and will let it go and move on. Each time you confess your sins you will receive graces that work gradually in your soul, and you will come to the point that you are ready to make sacrifices for the Lord (e.g., giving up sinful behaviors). It is all a process.

I hope i don’t sound too mushy here, but I speak from the bottom of my heart. Please, don’t give up or give in to defeat.

God Bless!