How do you view 'happy hour' with coworkers?

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whatevergirl

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**I’ve never been into it…now, I did go for a good bye get together when I moved from PA to here. I relocated with the same company. I also have gone to other goodbye get togethers after hours. But, sometimes, I wonder why are all these goodbye get togethers after work-- and involving alcohol. :confused:

Personally, I’d rather be home with my honey and kids…than hanging out for hours after work nursing a glass of wine, with coworkers…

I was just curious…if you are working, do you ever feel pressured to go out for drinks with colleagues? I used to feel guilty for saying no, but no more. I don’t want to be part of that scene. If you are a stay at home parent, does it bother you if your spouse calls you at the last minute to see if you’d mind if he/she goes out for drinks with his/her coworkers?

My husband will go for a beer with a good friend of his now and again, or when his brother is in town…no biggie. But, if it were frequent, I probably would mind. Same on this end. I have a gf or two that I enjoy a movie with, or a cup of coffee…or dinner out.

But, I’m talking about coworkers more.

Just curious if you think happy hour is a bad idea, amongst coworkers?**
 
You do what you feel best doing. After-work socializing is more for those that do not have someone to go home to. When I was in my 1st job out of college, a bunch of us young single types went out together every night. Two nights a week we were playing volleyball.
 
Rarely (maybe once every 2 or 3 months) DH will go to happy hour with his coworkers… especially if they just had a major recent success… as a celebration for their hard work. He’s a manager, so on one level it’s important for employee moral, etc…

There are some folks that go out from my work, but I’m a busy working mom with young kids, so they don’t pressure at all… most of my coworkers are young - either unmarried or without kids - so I understand going to happy hour under those circumstances…

Hey, you have a valid excuse! 😃 Just say it’s family time!
 
dconklin said:
You do what you feel best doing. After-work socializing is more for those that do not have someone to go home to. When I was in my 1st job out of college, a bunch of us young single types went out together every night. Two nights a week we were playing volleyball.
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One would think that–I work with 90% married people, many of them with small children waiting for them at home. It’s a frequent thing, I’m told too. I used to be asked to join along, but I just don’t enjoy it all that much. I see them all week, I want to see my family after work.:o This is just my personal opinion.
 
Em_in_FL said:
Rarely (maybe once every 2 or 3 months) DH will go to happy hour with his coworkers… especially if they just had a major recent success… as a celebration for their hard work. He’s a manager, so on one level it’s important for employee moral, etc…

There are some folks that go out from my work, but I’m a busy working mom with young kids, so they don’t pressure at all… most of my coworkers are young - either unmarried or without kids - so I understand going to happy hour under those circumstances…

Hey, you have a valid excuse! 😃 Just say it’s family time!
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Yes, I can see getting together to celebrate…but it always seems to be after work, on a Friday evening…why not lunch, I have often wondered? Too expensive? A glass of wine in a Tampa Bay bar can run a person $8 easily. I’ll take the lunch anyday.

I have invited my hubby to some of the happy hours, though–he has enjoyed meeting my coworkers, and it feels like a date, too. lol
 
I actually encourage my husband to attend happy hour. :o He’s somewhat socially stunted. When he’s at work he works… he’s not one for chit chat really, especially on company hours. So he’s not really all that memorable. Networking is so incredibly important in business, and so happy hour can be part of getting and maintaining a good job. Two beers on a Thursday night with coworkers can mean the difference between being the one chosen for the next project, and the one who’s laid off. If you just show up for two beers, that’s really all you need. No one remembers what happens after the second beer anyway. 😛

My husband does not go to happy hour though, and neither did I when I was working. We both tend to be loaners. Happy hour is in my opinion a good thing, but like all good things it can be abused. If my husband did start going to happy hour, I’d have no problem with it unless it meant a drunk walking in the front door after dinner without calling.
 
BeeSweet said:
I actually encourage my husband to attend happy hour. :o He’s somewhat socially stunted. When he’s at work he works… he’s not one for chit chat really, especially on company hours. So he’s not really all that memorable. Networking is so incredibly important in business, and so happy hour can be part of getting and maintaining a good job. Two beers on a Thursday night with coworkers can mean the difference between being the one chosen for the next project, and the one who’s laid off. If you just show up for two beers, that’s really all you need. No one remembers what happens after the second beer anyway. 😛

I hear ya. I know you are right, but I don’t agree that this is how business should be done. It’s funny you say this. There was a breakfast here recently, and some ppl weren’t going to show…but I made sure to be there, and it’s noted. I think it’s important to show support for the company, especially if you have worked at a company for a while, like I have…but I don’t like that happy hour can often be a club of sorts, and if you choose to be with your family over having a beer or two…or whatever…that you might not be considered for a promotion. It is not right. Plus, it promotes drinking. I remember in another office that I worked out of …it was like every night, it seemed. And then the next day, so and so would have a better title. lol I thought…that is just wrong.Not saying that one should never go…it’s more those people who go every week, who have wives, husbands, kids at home…it just seems to be a mix up of priorities. I received a promotion without having to do this, and it just feels better to know my work is what matters–not who I’m having a drink with. But, I am not discounting what you’re saying, sadly…it has come to be a business function.

My husband does not go to happy hour though, and neither did I when I was working. We both tend to be loaners. Happy hour is in my opinion a good thing, but like all good things it can be abused. If my husband did start going to happy hour, I’d have no problem with it unless it meant a drunk walking in the front door after dinner without calling.
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Yes…good way of putting it. Perhaps, I’m talking about the happy hour abusers. lol!😃
 
We have an occasional happy hour after work when there is a success to celebrate.

I see attending these gatherings as a necessary evil. I really don’t want to spend any more time with my co-workers after spending 8 hours with them in the office, but my absence would be conspicuous.

I usually stick around for 45 minutes and then leave.
 
I have no problem going out with my coworkers so long as it isn’t every nite. Most of the times we get together its to vent about customers because we are the only people who understand what we’re talking about. I’ve tried venting to my dh before and he just doesn’t get it.

By the time i get off of work from closing shifts my dh and ds are already in bed so I don’t really feel like I’m ditching them.
 
UGH, I totally feel your pain Both DH and I are complete homebodies (sp?) He works for a large food processing company and they only have the yearly company get-together (we’ve never gone). Next week though, my work is having a Customer Service Appreciation night out at a bar and I am SO not looking forward to it. I’m not a drinker and from what I hear there is going to be tons of booze and a Kareoke machine. 🤷

I definitely agree that why can’t there just be a luncheon or something to that effect. I dunno, maybe I’m just a fuddy-duddy but I’d much rather just stay home with DH and DD. 👍
 
It’s called networking!

I often found (in those places where we did engage in the occasional happy hour) that my colleagues were often quite different and more interesting people outside the workplace - and I very often found out most of the useful tidbits of workplace information during such ‘happy hours’ as well.

As for lunch - well, if your lunchhour is unpaid then it doesn’t matter how long you take, but if it’s on the company dollar it’s not a good idea. Not to mention it’s not a good look (or good for productivity) to drink during working hours if it can be helped.
 
I’m unmarried, and I can definitely understand where you’re coming from - if the love of my life and (future) kids were waiting at home for me, I just can’t see myself wanting to hang out with the people from work after hours. As it is, I have invited my bf to happy hour a time or two, and he’s had fun meeting my coworkers. I guess I go out with them three to four times a month, usually when I would have had nothing else to do anyway. If I had a loving man waiting at home for me, I don’t see myself going to happy hour.

As for the whole idea of spending time with coworkers after 8 hours a day with them, well, my situation is a little different. As a teacher, my interaction with my coworkers is limited anyway, so I don’t suffer from overexposure. Add to that the fact that here in Korea, pretty much everyone I know is either working with me now or has worked with me before, or with a friend of mine, and there’s not much difference between coworkers and friends anyway.
 
For me personally, I go to work punch in, do my job and when the time comes for me to go home, I am outta there. I don’t care to socialize with anyone after work. I don’t hang around if the clock says go. I don’t come in on my day off. I don’t call when I am home and see “what’s going on”. Work is just that…work. I am not antisocial, but 8 hours with some people is more than enough. And I don’t do the bar scene anyway. I am a homebody and I like it. If I go anywhere it is with my BF or my sister. That’s just me.

Kathy
 
As one who has spent way too many nights at “happy hours” I think they can be both good & bad!

Bad the next day, bad when you get home to a cold supper and a steamed wife, good for moral & good for the career. I work in a company that has grown to over $500M in annual sales and you should see the plans we put on a cocktail napkin!

“Happy hour’s” are good in moderation! I am older then the rest of my co-workers so we had little kids while they were either single or DINK’s. It was tough in that it didn’t matter when they got home while I missed my kids growing up.
 
A harsh reality is that goodwork performance only gets you so far. Those who want to get past the glass ceiling have to network. executives tend to give jobs to the people they are comfortable around instead of the most qualified. So those who are not good socializers tend to get passed over for those who do socialize and network.

I have personnally found that occasional going out is a good team building activity. When I was a manager I used to take my team and their families out to dinner once a year. (I gave each employee a gift card to the restraunt we went to that would easily cover them and their spouse so I could keeep it fair.) After hours you can have a drink and loosen up, there is no rush to get back to work , you learn more about coworkers as people instead of just workers, and you can discuss topics that are banned in the work place. However, freqent outings can be a problem.
 
I occasionally join my co-workers. I don’t really enjoy drinking but I’ll have one or two drinks with them. It’s nice sometimes because many of us are close in age and I have a few people at work I consider true friends. But usually it’s on a Friday and at the end of the week I’m just ready to go home and relax and change out of dressy clothes and all that. So I never stay long and sometimes skip it altogether.
 
Oh happy hours are the bane of my existence.

I like them. I am social and outgoing by nature, and I love a good chat with others.

However, I do them 3-4 times a week…at least.

I work in sales/relationship management, so most of my happy hours are with my clients. I’ve gotten really good at drinking just one glass of wine for a long while, but not looking like a Debbie Downer.

I work in an industry that is a good old boys’ club, and drinking is just part of the price I pay. I really like what I do…a lot, so I deal with it.

I’ve been known to have to fly to another city just to attend a happy hour and fly back the same night.:rolleyes:

However, like I said I do love the social time…just not that often…plus that doesn’t include time I spend out socializing wth my girlfriends or husband on the weekend!

PS: I do work about…70 hours a week…so sometimes a happy hour or dinner after work even if it is with clients can be a welcome use of my working time.😉
 
whatevergirl said:
Yes, I can see getting together to celebrate…but it always seems to be after work, on a Friday evening…why not lunch, I have often wondered? Too expensive? A glass of wine in a Tampa Bay bar can run a person $8 easily. I’ll take the lunch anyday.

I have invited my hubby to some of the happy hours, though–he has enjoyed meeting my coworkers, and it feels like a date, too. lol
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There is a totally different atmosphere if you know you have to go back to work.

DH was military for 25 years. For at least 15 of those 25 years, TGIF was mandatory in principle if not on paper. Non-attendance was noted on performance reviews. We spouses resented it since often that TGIF lasted until the wee hours of the morning and meant that Saturday was a bust for families. I even had an argument with the Base Commander about it when I was still a newlywed. Told him what I thought about such a stupid tradition. His excuse: the only time some guys can talk to me is with a few drinks in them. My response: get them into therapy, they’ve got bigger problems than you realize.

The only time I saw a change was when we moved to this area in the early 90s. On this base at least TGIF had become a couples’ night, with supper and fun. Happier families all around. Inebriation was much less of a problem. A beer or two over the course of the evening and then home to the family.
 
I used to love happy hour. There were always people that I worked with that I really enjoyed talking to and during work, well, you’re working. I don’t go anymore because I don’t have a job!
 
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