And you can also burn the bad thing’s list afterwards. I always fealt the bad feeling go away when I saw the words burning away
This is a pretty good suggestion and I thank you for it. But what if I cannot find anything at all to be thankful about in the situation that is making me angry or irritated? Also, often times when I watch the evening news, I find a lot more things to complain about than to be thankful about. There is just way too much bad news anymore.
I think it goes like this. Say your boss comes in a yells at you for no reason at all, it was completely unwarranted. You go home to your spouse and want to vent about the situation and complain about your boss who embarrassed you and your coworkers who didn’t defend you, etc. But instead, use the opportunity to remind yourself of your blessings. In this case: “Dear Lord, thank you that I have a job that pays the bills (or that I usually like, or that allows me to live in the city that I want). Thank you that I have a husband (friend/parent/cat) that usually listens to me vent. Thank you that my voice works well and that I am able to express my thoughts clearly. Thank you for the opportunity to suffer and practice humility. Please help me to appreciate my blessings more.”
Wait. You don’t have a roof over your head? You don’t have access to the internet to chat with us?
) I found certain supplements were very helpful in maintaining a better mood. In fact many people say gee you’re never in a bad mood or depressed. Well not anymore!I’m sorry but I think you misunderstood me. I was asking about what I can do in situations where I cannot find anything positive in a specific situation. Let’s say that my boyfriend and I got in an argument and I am angry about it and want to vent to someone and cannot see anything at all that is positive in the situation. How am I supposed to turn my complaint in to gratitude if I can’t find anything at all about the argument to be grateful about?
“Dear Lord, thank you for my boyfriend. Thank you that we care enough about each other to argue. Thank you for this time apart from each other to reflect on our relationship. Thank you for teaching me to be more selfless and giving; thank you for the opportunity to compromise. Please bless our future spouses, whoever they are, and help us each to grow in holiness so that we might be prepared to get married when the time comes.”
I didn’t misunderstand. I said that the thanking doesn’t have to directly correlate to your complaint.
Whenever something bad happens to me, I just imagine that somewhere someone else had the same pain I have, though the circumstances are not the same. That is what I must not focus on: the circumstances of the pain. Instead, I focus on the pain itself, which is something we all share.
A lot of excellent advice there.Holly, my Spiritual Director told me the most common cause of unhappiness is the inability to control the person, the situation, the world or whatever is in your path. I actually sought spiritual direction because I was so angry about politics. It was a fury of pretty substantial proportions. My SD really helped me understand that in reality there is very little we CAN control. We get frustrated because we are under the illusion that we are able to orchestrate world events, other peoples’ lives, politics or what songs the choir sings. He said when I get into a virtual vortex of fury, step back. Look at the situation and control what I can control. As to the rest, as the saying goes, “Let go and let God…”
The other thing was to avoid situations, TV shows or encounters that trigger this reaction. I basically quit watching the news. Why do I need to know about plane crashes a world away? Does knowing that some celebrity cheated on his wife help me in any way? Need to know…
Finally I would really consider what you are eating, your sleep patterns and the possible need for supplements. (I’m not a doctor but I play one on the internet
I would agree and disagree. Sure, we all get angry at politics and world events. And for most people, clicking off the set is fine, although, even here, I would argue that we need to be informed to be responsible citizens. How could we vote for better leaders if we don’t know what’s going on? But, more importantly, what if you feel that you, yourself, are called to change things? That you need to inform the public about causes that are important to you? This is not so much ***control ***as it is activism. I think justifiable anger is the first step in changing the status quo. Being passive is fine if avoiding anger is the main objective, but not if your goal is change. There would be no Lincolns or MLKs or Gandhis is people remain content with unacceptable things.Holly, my Spiritual Director told me the most common cause of unhappiness is the inability to control the person, the situation, the world or whatever is in your path. I actually sought spiritual direction because I was so angry about politics. It was a fury of pretty substantial proportions. My SD really helped me understand that in reality there is very little we CAN control. We get frustrated because we are under the illusion that we are able to orchestrate world events, other peoples’ lives, politics or what songs the choir sings. He said when I get into a virtual vortex of fury, step back. Look at the situation and control what I can control. As to the rest, as the saying goes, “Let go and let God…”
The other thing was to avoid situations, TV shows or encounters that trigger this reaction. I basically quit watching the news. Why do I need to know about plane crashes a world away? Does knowing that some celebrity cheated on his wife help me in any way? Need to know…
Finally I would really consider what you are eating, your sleep patterns and the possible need for supplements. (I’m not a doctor but I play one on the internet
Ummm, no. I never said that my boyfriend has no redeeming qualities. That is a complete and total misinterpretation of what I said. He has a LOT of redeeming qualities.I didn’t misunderstand. I said that the thanking doesn’t have to directly correlate to your complaint.
You are saying that your boyfriend has absolutely no redeeming qualities?
As nodito said, “thank you for teaching me how to compromise”, Also, how to put others first, and how to prevent a fight from escalating into words that each of us may regret.
I suppose your question ought to be:
How do I make something positive out of negative events?