How does Church view priests leaving priesthood 2 marry?

[Brendan]

Besides, I don’t see the surprise, as there are married priests within the Latin/Roman rite of the Catholic Church (not to say in the eastern rites of the Catholic church where priests are allowed to marry).

Priestly celibacy is a discipline, NOT a doctrine.

Blessings in Christ,

E.C.

You have that backwards. In the East, and under certain circumstances in the West) a man who is already married may be ordained to the priesthood.

That is a discipline.

What is doctrine is that Holy Orders is an impediment to the Sacrament of Marriage, A priest man NEVER marry and retain the Office of priest. This is true in the East and West. (in fact, in the East, they would not allow a priest to get married at all!, then generally frown on the west’s concept of ‘laitization’)

 

[brotherhrolf]

I don’t know how the Church views priests who have left the priesthood to be married. I can only tell you my experience.

The priest who married me and DW some 28 years ago is my closest friend. He left the priesthood (he was a young priest) shortly after he married DW and I. About nine months after we were married I ran into him in the course of my government job. He was still in his clericals since, as so many have pointed out, the process of laicization takes a long time.

It was quite awkward.

DW and I had our first rented home in the same neighborhood as he. We would see him and his wife out walking. We would never stop to chat back then, because such things were not done in the late 70s.

Ten years later, I moved to another state agency and the other person hired was none other than he who would become my closest friend.

To make a long story short, when the laicization finally came through after 15 years, he asked DW and I to witness the blessing of his marriage which we gladly did. Throughout it all he was so humble about his station. He and his wife serve his parish today in social ministries.

In my cathedral choir, I had an ex-brother who married an ex-sister as well. Good solid devoted Catholics who raised their kids the same way we raised ours.

My friend never had children and he is a year older than me. I understand that some may be scandalized. My friend never made any bones about being laicized but he was adamant that he was not defrocked. And in this he has my whole-hearted support.

I cannot place myself in his decisions. I can only witness his behavior afterwards. It was exemplary.

 

[contramundum7]

Since no one has stepped forward to answer your questions, I’ll tell you what I know.

I’m sure, like any other life situation the Church deals with each person’s intentions. If someone in good conscience wishes to be released from his vows, he can be laczied and remain a practicing Catholic in good standing. As I understand it, he can function as a priest in emergency situations, such as hearing a dying person’s confession and that sort of thing.

If anyone leaves without permission I’m sure he would be in trouble with his bishop, but I don’t know that he would incur automatic excommunication. I’m sure all this is covered in Canon Law.

 

[contramundum7]

contramundum7:
thank you for your response.
More specificially, I should have said that i was wondering if every priest who asks for a dispensation is granted one? I was wondering what the procedure is in asking for one, etc…
Thanks.
I am wondering because it was (is) my understanding that priests are considered 2b married to the Church (as it were) so i thought that leaving may be considered a divorce (??)…
I was raised Catholic but never taught the faith until i began teaching myself some years ago…
God bless…

 

[contramundum7]

He would have to get a dispensation from the Pope, and that could be difficult.

Code Of Canon Law
CHAPTER IV : LOSS OF THE CLERICAL STATE

thank you for the info… though i may have 2 re-read it to fully understand it…
I’m sure there is somewhere on the internet where i can get testimonies of priests who have validly left the priesthood… i just haven’t tried to find one yet…
This is interesting. I’ve heard of dispensations but not this “rescript”…
Anyway…
God bless…

 

[contramundum7]

The process of being laicized is long. I have not heard of laicization being denide, with one exception; there is currently a bishop in either Central or Sout America who wants to run for political office, and I believe the last I saw of it was that Rome was not (at the moment) willing to laicize him. Since he seems intent on running for office, it would appear that he will collide witht he Church on the issue. That is, however, the only case I know of where it has not been granted; which of course does not meant that there are not other cases; only that I have not heard of them.

Thank you so much. Its kind of strange how this kind of info isn’t virtually “common knowledge” in the Church… I would think that more priests today would be asking 2b laicized… considering how many temptations are out there… etc…
If you learn anything new, please let me know. Thanks. God bless…

 

[contramundum7]

I remember a wonderful Priest we knew, been a Priest like 30 years. But he fell in love with a woman. He received “counseling” before leaving the Priesthood, he is now a Deacon in the Catholic Church, and married to a wonderful woman. He teaches theology at a seminary now.

Peace,
Lee44

Thank you. This is the kind of story i was looking for. I have never known a priest who left the priesthood… I knew OF one who left 2 get married… I’m afraid i was a little “judgmental” of him when i learned about it (he became a counselor and that’s how i met him)… but that was years ago when i was a lot younger and more “naive”… Now i find myself wondering that more priests don’t actually attempt to leave the priesthood & get married… (I’m sure most of them are very private about such things anyway…).
God bless… If you get any further details, please let me know…

 

[contramundum7]

This is a surprise to me. I know several priests who were laicized and obtained a dispensation to marry. They were required to refrain from taking any part in serving as readers, EMHCs, singing in Choir, or instructing religion or theology in a Catholic Church or school. I can’t even begin to imagine they could become deacons.

i know of a former priest who taught (probably still does) RCIA. I had no problem with him being a former priest who left 2 get married, but i did mind his liberal attitude in RCIA - on such things as women becoming priests, etc…
That, to me, is far more grievous a thing than his leaving the priesthood to be married.
As stated in another post, i was once somewhat judgmental about this one priest i met years ago who had married. But now that i’m older and more mature, i look at it this way: I don’t want to live the rest of my life alone and cellibate (though i may have to?), so why should i expect others to necessarily? If a priest is a virgin, leaving the Church to marry is a little more “difficult” to understand … but many priests are not… Some of them just try to stay in the priesthood and have a woman on the side. Some have fathered children… Which is the better route?
I think it is far more Christian for the priest to leave the priesthood and marry rather than have an affair… to me, that is the ultimate hypocracy…
Anyway, i think some Catholics forget that priests are human beings too…
God bless…

 

[contramundum7]

Once again, as Della said, every situation is different. The Church would look at every case separately and individually.

Besides, I don’t see the surprise, as there are married priests within the Latin/Roman rite of the Catholic Church (not to say in the eastern rites of the Catholic church where priests are allowed to marry).

Priestly celibacy is a discipline, NOT a doctrine.

Blessings in Christ,

E.C.

i always thought it was kind of odd that a Protestant minister could be married, then convert/join the Church & become a priest while staying married. But a man who has served the Church for several years & wants to get married, has 2 leave the priesthood. Maybe the Church could consider a change (?): that after x number of years of “service”, a priest could get married? I don’t know… just a half-baked thought. I am a devout Catholic & trust the Church in her wisdom on this and other issues… But i frankly think its a little unfair… (though i have 2 admit, i have not thought about it in any great detail…). That’s why we have a Church - 2 figure these things out…
Anyway, thanks and God bless…

 

[contramundum7]

just an interesting story…
the choir-leader at our parish is an ex-priest, and his wife an ex-nun.

i am wondering if you know how long it took him & what all he had 2 go through to become laicized? Is it a long, drawn out process? I mean, it involves the pope, so i would assume it does…
Thanks. God bless.

 

[contramundum7]

If a priest were to request and be granted laicization, and furthermore were to request and be granted dispensation from his oath of celebacy (a separate issue), then he would not be guilty of sin in entering into a Catholic marriage. Nevertheless, this is a unfortunate circumstance that I wish would never happen, and which probably indicates a failure in that person’s pre-ordination formation. Each case must be judged individually however, and I am certainly not qualified to be the judge.

Granting of such requests is not automatic of course, but I imagine that such a request would almost always be granted if the petitioner persisted after counseling and a suitable period of time for discernment.

If a priest were to attempt a marriage without laicization and dispensation from vows, then that marriage would be invalid and he would certainly be in grave sin. That could perhaps result in excommunication, but more importantly it could have eternal consequences for his soul.

i am wondering why you wish it would never happen?
Are you married?
I’ve been alone a long time and i can understand someone wanting to leave the single state and marry…

 

[contramundum7]

We know several men who have left the priesthood to marry. A couple of them did it the right way…going through the proper channels so that they can remain faithful Catholics. And a couple of them have remained active in the church…teaching religious education, part of the marriage prep team, working with social justice committees etc.

However, a couple of them have distanced themselves entirely from the church…and have become very cynical.Even vocal in their defiance of the church. In all case, we pray for them. Without ceasing! One day, we hope that God who judges all of us, will react with mercy and kindness.

This is interesting - how you know many priests who have left to get married… I am curious about their stories. Would they be willing to come to this forum and talk about it?
Its too bad about the ones who are cynical about the Church but i can understand that. I have had many “incidents” with members of the Church. I may have ended up leaving myself if it weren’t for the fact that i know the Catholic Church is the one Christ established… I’ve learned (i think?) 2 separate the members from the… well, from the teachings, etc… I am wondering if those who are cynical ARE so because they were not given dispensations? Or was it some other reason? I would like to hear more, if that’s possible. Thank you so much. God bless…

 

[contramundum7]

What makes no sense to me is how the Church has accepted married priest from the Anglican Church, but refuses to accept Catholic priest, who have married.

It lacks compasion on the part of the Church, in my opinion.

Jim

i’m behind the Church all the way all the time… but can’t help feeling as you do… that something isn’t quite “right”… Maybe the only thing not right is that i don’t fully understand… (not an unusual thing for me, 2b sure…).
Anyway, God bless…

 

[decn2b]

I have spoken to a Lutheran Pastor and he told me that if he understands the rationale with the role of a priest and the celibate state. WE agreed thta the sacramental duties of a priest are MUCH more time consuming than that of his job. He said that if the sacramental role in his faith was like a Catholic priest, he wouldn’t have time for his family. THen he quoted the very scripture that alludes to that. He mentioned that his life is divided between his family and his church. He said Catholic priests can devote their entire existance to the Catholic faith. Something that he cannot. (whether a priest does devote his life or not is really not a matter relating to this topic)

I believe the bible verse he referred to is corinthians chapter 7 which although does not forbid Married clergy it certainly indicates that celebacy is the preferred state. Which in my opinion is why the church has it as a discipline. THe church will always lean towards the “preferred” way.

 

[Brendan]

What makes no sense to me is how the Church has accepted married priest from the Anglican Church, but refuses to accept Catholic priest, who have married.

It lacks compasion on the part of the Church, in my opinion.

Jim

The Anglican ‘priest’ is married first, and THEN recieves the Sacrament of Holy Orders.

No one is allowed to remain in the priesthood if they attempt marriage AFTER recieving Holy Orders.

 

[distracted]

I have spoken to a Lutheran Pastor and he told me that if he understands the rationale with the role of a priest and the celibate state. WE agreed thta the sacramental duties of a priest are MUCH more time consuming than that of his job. He said that if the sacramental role in his faith was like a Catholic priest, he wouldn’t have time for his family. THen he quoted the very scripture that alludes to that. He mentioned that his life is divided between his family and his church. He said Catholic priests can devote their entire existance to the Catholic faith. Something that he cannot. (whether a priest does devote his life or not is really not a matter relating to this topic)

I believe the bible verse he referred to is corinthians chapter 7 which although does not forbid Married clergy it certainly indicates that celebacy is the preferred state. Which in my opinion is why the church has it as a discipline. THe church will always lean towards the “preferred” way.

 

[distracted]

distracted:
i totally agree with the Church’s position on a celibate priesthood, as i do with ALL the Church’s teachings and practices. But if a priest wants to leave the priesthood 2 marry, i don’t think it should be a big, long, drawn-out thing. For one thing, women have biological clocks. Maybe a priest would like to marry b4 his intended loses the ability to have children… I am wondering if the male hierarchy that considers whether to grant a dispensation or not (assuming there is a group of men, rather than just the pope??) considers that…?? I mean, in one post, someone said it took several years to get the dispensation & i believe the priest had, by that time, already married… This doesn’t seem like a very efficient, much less compassionate way to do things, but again, i admit ignorance as to how the Church does these things… & i respect that the Church takes her time, etc… Even so, the PEOPLE in the Church can be… well, pretty “human”, shall we say, about things…

 

[JimR-OCDS]

The Anglican ‘priest’ is married first, and THEN recieves the Sacrament of Holy Orders.

No one is allowed to remain in the priesthood if they attempt marriage AFTER recieving Holy Orders.

But then that merely leads to the question, “why not?”

Jim

 

[BillyT92679]

But then that merely leads to the question, “why not?”

Jim

There is an ontological change that Holy Orders imprints on men. The Sacrament itself transforms the men in a very specific way, literally ordering them to an entirely new way of existence. The celibate or the married man who receives the Sacrament is truly distinct and the seal is everlasting. Priests, no matter if they are laicized or suspended or excommunicated or in full, active communion always are Priests. Once that change is effected through the Sacrament, the man cannot then embrace the Sacrament of Matrimony since the man already received the transformative grace of Orders. Indeed, in the East, a married man who receives Priestly ordination would never be consecrated a Bishop (the fullness of the Holy Mystery of Ordes).

 

[BillyT92679]

Indeed, essentially all married men who are legitimately called to a vocation of Orders and possess the ability, the acumen, the virtue, the moral standing, and the faith to do so (also as long as they were not married prior), can receive the Sacrament in both Orthodoxy and Catholicism. (I’m using as many qualifiers as possible here) In Latin Catholicism though, the most a married man can receive is the first stage of Holy Orders, the Diaconate.