How does God match two persons together?

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shanishani7

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Has God planned for each one of us a Spouse when we were born?

Is this really a destiny, which means we both will be together even we don’t work so hard on this? God will use many ways to match both together?
Or, we should Pray more asking God to help us finding a real spouse?

In this secular world, many people use many ways to chase someone such as dating out, buying gifts, do everything to please each other, or even using tricks or lies… to get someone.

For most of the couples, I see many catholic couples are holy family and live in harmony and happily together and last forever, I believe these are really the Blessings from God.

As for me who were baptized when born, and I had a few unhappy and failed relationships before, how do I work on this now to find a spouse to build a harmony family? just waiting for the future spouse to appear, or pray more on this, or explore more to find one?

I know God’s work is amazing, but I still don’t understand it. Can anyone who are in holy family share about it? 🙂 Thanks.
 
I don’t believe there is just one special person for each of us, that is crazy talk.

It’s quite possible to fall in love, true love, many times in one’s life…if we are lucky enough.

Call it fate, destiny, dumb luck, blind luck, when you least expect it,

Love comes walking in!
 
God is not a matchmaker. It’s up to people to do that. And when they marry and make vows for life, they have to mean what they say, no matter who did the matchmaking.
 
It is untrue that God has a planned spouse for each of us. Mainly because not all of us are called to the married life. Many are called to the priesthood and religious life, etc.

Yet, all is providential. Everything in our lives, God gives to us as a free gift, as a grace that draws us back to Him. So, given that this is true, God does grace some of us (those who are called to married life) with a spouse, whom He will bring into our lives exactly when we need them.

The question is, do we just sit around and wait for this person? The answer is no. First, we must pray and meditate and investigate what our vocation in life is. Maybe we’re not called to be married at all. Secondly, practise a moral life, and treat all of your relationships morally and charitably. Thirdly, when considering a possible spouse, you should consider very seriously how closely your values (as opposed to interests) align, you should consider how morally he/she lives, and you should consider his/her religious beliefs.

God’s plan for spouses isn’t always the person you fall madly in love with, or the type of person you’d expect to marry, etc. Your future spouse might even be the last person you’d think of marrying, or someone you hadn’t ever even given a thought about before.

So, if you think the married life is your vocation, go out and meet people, pursue those relationships you think will be the most edifying (not the most gratifying), allow God to lead you, and always expect the unexpected. And when you feel ready to marry someone, don’t fret about whether or not “this is the right person.” God has a surprising way of taking care of that despite all appearances.

Cheers!
 
I tend to be more pragmatic when contemplating relationship formation. Nature draws people to each other at a physiological level that serves the best outcome for the species.

For people that strive to obey Gods will and grow in spiritual maturity… that desire in a mate can override the purely physiological attraction to another. Therefore I don’t believe that God matches two people together per se, but that Gods grace can guide them to discern for themselves whether they want to commit to a life with someone that espouses the core values that you do.
 
shanishani7 said:
Has God planned for each one of us a Spouse when we were born?

Is this really a destiny, which means we both will be together even we don’t work so hard on this? God will use many ways to match both together?
Or, we should Pray more asking God to help us finding a real spouse?

In this secular world, many people use many ways to chase someone such as dating out, buying gifts, do everything to please each other, or even using tricks or lies… to get someone.

For most of the couples, I see many catholic couples are holy family and live in harmony and happily together and last forever, I believe these are really the Blessings from God.

As for me who were baptized when born, and I had a few unhappy and failed relationships before, how do I work on this now to find a spouse to build a harmony family? just waiting for the future spouse to appear, or pray more on this, or explore more to find one?

I know God’s work is amazing, but I still don’t understand it. Can anyone who are in holy family share about it? 🙂 Thanks.
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In the marriage vows, it does say that what God has put together, let no man put asunder. That implies God is a matchmaker.

However, I think it’s fine to do things to help facilitate finding someone. Maybe love will come along, anyway, or not, even so, but I think it’s fine to put oneself in a better position of meeting people, not expect to stay at the house and expect to meet someone.

I think it’s fine to join groups, clubs, organizations, go to church events, even single’s events, especially events where you have similar interests, something YOU like to do.

I’d say to try to also look one’s best, have friendships and interests, because all that makes us happier, more attractive. When we are happy, we are also more attractive.

Sometimes, if we feel sad, depressed, or lonely, we can reflect that in the way we dress. So, I’d say to choose happy colors and clothes, to smile, stand up straight, and basically be one’s self.
 
humans need to get over the notion that God is a Master Puppeteer, orchestrating life’s daily events. This way of thinking is very detrimental to humanity.
 
Ositokc said:
I don’t believe there is just one special person for each of us, that is crazy talk.

It’s quite possible to fall in love, true love, many times in one’s life…if we are lucky enough.

Call it fate, destiny, dumb luck, blind luck, when you least expect it,

Love comes walking in!
Click to expand...
I don’t know I can’t honestly say I ever found someone I was sure I was 100% in love with. I’ve gotten close only to have my heart broken so obviously he wasn’t he right person. I think sometimes it’s just a numbers game but also no matter what you may or may not want I think sometimes GOD has other ideas. You can actively look around but that doesn’t mean you’ll find a good match I don’t believe in the soul mate idea though that’s mostly just hollywood lore.
 
I believe that God has a plan for each one of us. Consequently, if He intends for us to get married, He has a person in mind to be our spouse. THAT SAID, it is up to us whether or not we choose to follow His plan. For example, maybe God has one person in mind for your spouse - but you choose someone different. It’s not impossible for you to have a happy and contented marriage with the person you chose; however, following God’s plan gives you the surest and most direct route to heaven.

I was extremely blessed, 5 years ago, to meet my incredible husband. We complete each other in so many ways. We truly believe we are soul-mates. We knew we wanted to marry within a few months of dating, but we waited until we had been dating for just over a year (a year and a half, if you include online dating, which is how we met) before we got married.
 
I believe that one can marry and realise that one has made a huge mistake!! This happens all the time in life. Not everyone is compatible.

For me, i believe that God is very understanding and guides us when we have a bad marriage.
 
His_helpmeet said:
I believe that God has a plan for each one of us. Consequently, if He intends for us to get married, He has a person in mind to be our spouse. THAT SAID, it is up to us whether or not we choose to follow His plan. For example, maybe God has one person in mind for your spouse - but you choose someone different. It’s not impossible for you to have a happy and contented marriage with the person you chose; however, following God’s plan gives you the surest and most direct route to heaven.

I was extremely blessed, 5 years ago, to meet my incredible husband. We complete each other in so many ways. We truly believe we are soul-mates. We knew we wanted to marry within a few months of dating, but we waited until we had been dating for just over a year (a year and a half, if you include online dating, which is how we met) before we got married.
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Have you thought this through? IF your God has a plan for you, there is NOTHING you can do to change it, for even the “change” would have to be His will. If you can successfully go against or thwart the will of God, then that was His will also. Saying that this imaginary God desires for us to do X,Y or Z and can do nothing to stop us from doing what we want negates the position that God has a “plan”
 
“Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match! Find me a find! Catch me a catch!”

Actually, I think that’s Jewish…😉

There is no one right person. There is the right person at the right time.
 
Paradoxical said:
Have you thought this through? IF your God has a plan for you, there is NOTHING you can do to change it, for even the “change” would have to be His will. If you can successfully go against or thwart the will of God, then that was His will also. Saying that this imaginary God desires for us to do X,Y or Z and can do nothing to stop us from doing what we want negates the position that God has a “plan”
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I know how I want to raise my children. But I’d be a pretty bad mom if my method of parenting meant 100% absolute control of every action undertaken by my children. Instead, I love them unconditionally and guide them toward the paths that are best for them. Since they have free will, they might rebel (and probably will). It might end up that they take a circuitous route to get where they need to go. They might not get there at all - that is their choice.

God gives us free will. We can cooperate with His plan or not. He is not a puppet master. If He were, it would be impossible for us to really love Him.
 
Paradoxical said:
humans need to get over the notion that God is a Master Puppeteer, orchestrating life’s daily events. This way of thinking is very detrimental to humanity.
Click to expand...
Paradoxical said:
Have you thought this through? IF your God has a plan for you, there is NOTHING you can do to change it, for even the “change” would have to be His will. If you can successfully go against or thwart the will of God, then that was His will also. Saying that this imaginary God desires for us to do X,Y or Z and can do nothing to stop us from doing what we want negates the position that God has a “plan”
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You’re confusing what it means for God to have a plan for your life. Catholic teaching does not support the idea that God is a “puppet master.” God created us with the capacity to choose to align our wills with His, or not, and He does not force us to do His will.

To this end, there are two senses of what it means to say “God wills X, Y, or Z.” The first sense is what is called His “Perfect Will.” By this we mean God’s perfect plan and desire for our life, that which will bring us most intimately in union with Himself, and consequently bring us the greatest joy. Outside of the bounds of human choice, God exercises His perfect will in all things.

The second sense is what is called His “Permissive Will.” That is, God permits human choice despite that it may be outside of His Perfect Will. So, within the bounds of human choice, God exercises His permissive will in allowing us to act in discord (but hopefully unity) with His perfect will.

So yes, all that happens is according to God’s will, as you say, but not because every possible choice is part of His perfect will (perfect plan), but rather because God exercises His will in different ways, authoritatively and permissively.
 
God gave us free will.

We have the free will to choose a spouse. We also have the free will to form ourselves well while we are single, so that we make the best choice possible if we are called to marriage.
 
shanishani7 said:
Has God planned for each one of us a Spouse when we were born?

Is this really a destiny, which means we both will be together even we don’t work so hard on this? God will use many ways to match both together?
Or, we should Pray more asking God to help us finding a real spouse?

In this secular world, many people use many ways to chase someone such as dating out, buying gifts, do everything to please each other, or even using tricks or lies… to get someone.

For most of the couples, I see many catholic couples are holy family and live in harmony and happily together and last forever, I believe these are really the Blessings from God.

As for me who were baptized when born, and I had a few unhappy and failed relationships before, how do I work on this now to find a spouse to build a harmony family? just waiting for the future spouse to appear, or pray more on this, or explore more to find one?

I know God’s work is amazing, but I still don’t understand it. Can anyone who are in holy family share about it? 🙂 Thanks.
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That kind of thinking is just plain old illogical. If that is the case then God planned the priest shortage and the divorce rate skyrocketing is why exactly? The biggest mistake I have ever seen in relationships is when people start talking about how God wants them to be together.🤷 How in the world do you know that?
 
He doesn’t…that would be a direct violation of free will. Plus, I seriously doubt we would have the divorce rates we do if couples were God ordained.

John
 
ClearWater said:
In the marriage vows, it does say that what God has put together, let no man put asunder. That implies God is a matchmaker.
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This in the vows is not about the past, it is about what happens at the wedding. God is putting people together at the wedding and it doesn’t matter who is marring who as long as it’s valid.
 
MrSnaith said:
The question is, do we just sit around and wait for this person? The answer is no. First, we must pray and meditate and investigate what our vocation in life is. Maybe we’re not called to be married at all. Secondly, practise a moral life, and treat all of your relationships morally and charitably.
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This is true, in order for God to lead us to “the one” we must do those things that allow ourselves to be led.
 
oldcelt said:
He doesn’t…that would be a direct violation of free will. Plus, I seriously doubt we would have the divorce rates we do if couples were God ordained.

John
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I believe God is a matchmaker but the majority of us don’t wait for his match. Obviously God isn’t to blame for the divorce rate when half of the people entering marriage don’t even know what they are doing…

I personally believe God has an ideal spouse in mind for those he has called to marriage. I believe since many are living a life outside of the sacraments and not practicing chastity, many miss that person or don’t wait for God to move. I believe as with all things, God cannot force us to marry the person He has in mind for us. And if we make the wrong choice, just as in other situations where we may go off the rails, He provides grace in those circumstances.

Personally, I am content to wait (which is an active verb, by the way) for God’s choice. God is definitely a Romantic and He can make awesome matches. 🙂
 
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