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PelagiathePenit
Guest
You hear it always talked about “forgive.” “Let it go.” How exactly do you do that? Is there a time limit? Should it be done immediately? I do not know how to forgive.
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AdelaidaM
Guest
Let me know if you find out 
I have a problem with forgiving, too. I don’t know how to forgive, should I forgive all the people who have ever hurt me and hos should I behave to them? I am also too attached to the past, hence another issue, that of “letting go”.
I sometimes pray to the guardian angels of these people or to other saints for forgiveness in our hearts… But too often in my heart I know I’m not willing to really forgive them
For example, my priest told me to forgive the father of my son who has left us, and I said yes… but God know I haven’t done so… I think it’s because we expect the people who have once hurt us to continue in doing so and maybe we want to guard ourselves.
I have a problem with forgiving, too. I don’t know how to forgive, should I forgive all the people who have ever hurt me and hos should I behave to them? I am also too attached to the past, hence another issue, that of “letting go”.
I sometimes pray to the guardian angels of these people or to other saints for forgiveness in our hearts… But too often in my heart I know I’m not willing to really forgive them
For example, my priest told me to forgive the father of my son who has left us, and I said yes… but God know I haven’t done so… I think it’s because we expect the people who have once hurt us to continue in doing so and maybe we want to guard ourselves.
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Petaro
Guest
You have to start with having a terrible memory.This, for example, would be very difficult for my wife, who remembers things I have done wrong twenty years ago.
But true forgiveness really requires we accept the person back at the same level of trust as before. This is extremely hard and some would consider unwise. Prudence may play a part in the forgiveness, which I believe is an act of the will that starts a very long emotional process.
Don’t be too hard on yourself if you have this act of the will, due to God’s demand that we forgive our enemies, but haven’t started on the emotional process which can be a very hard road indeed. May Jesus make that journey easier for you, He has had the practice.
But true forgiveness really requires we accept the person back at the same level of trust as before. This is extremely hard and some would consider unwise. Prudence may play a part in the forgiveness, which I believe is an act of the will that starts a very long emotional process.
Don’t be too hard on yourself if you have this act of the will, due to God’s demand that we forgive our enemies, but haven’t started on the emotional process which can be a very hard road indeed. May Jesus make that journey easier for you, He has had the practice.
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Bookcat
Guest
Has much more to do with the will.
I hear this can be good: scepterpublishers.org/product/index.php?FULL=549
I hear this can be good: scepterpublishers.org/product/index.php?FULL=549
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Sonny89
Guest
Peace & all Good everyone
I’ve also found this to be true. I was deeply hurt by someone earlier this year & i had to will myself & want to forgive them for quite some time before I was able to start letting go. It also took a lot of prayer, both for myself, that I could heal & truly let go, and for the other person, in order to get to the true forgiveness stage. So it can take time & it does take effort but it’s certainly possible.
God Bless
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JamalChristophr
Guest
I would say that it is sometimes, if not always, a Grace, that comes from God.
Sometimes we must ask God for this Grace to forgive. We must tell Him that we at least desire to forgive at those times when we are finding it hard to forgive outright.
Sometimes we must ask God for this Grace to forgive. We must tell Him that we at least desire to forgive at those times when we are finding it hard to forgive outright.
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glendab
Guest
Forgive 70 times seventy. Forgive until you mean it. Forgive four hundred times a day if it is a loved one. Forgiveness unchains you from resentments which can drag you down and down and down until everything and everyone looks bad. Forgiving serious harms such as the murder of a loved one, which I had to do, takes work. You have to do it over and over and over again till the healing grace flows into the wounds from the Sacred Heart of Jesus Who was wounded for our sins. God suffered to and when He couldn’t carry the heartache of our sins any longer, He sent His Son to atone for them so we could all be free of them. This can give you an idea of how important forgiveness is and that it takes actions to complete. If you are struggling with forgiveness of someone or something, think about the Cross and how much work by God it took for sin to be forgiven and realize that God Himself shares your struggle.
One other thing I can think of off the top o f my head - forgiveness is a** decision **in that you decide to forgive someone or to withhold that forgiveness, which leads to spiritual and emotional ills. In the home, besides saying “I love you,” to those in your family, I think saying “I forgive you,” is second in importance and if those you love never hear it or say it, then no one will know what forgiveness is. It is one of those things that are necessary for healthy emotional growth as well as strong Christian virtue in the home. God tells us to forgive as we would like to be forgiven. If we nurture this in the home by saying to each other, “I forgive you,” then we will be healing all the little hurts that happen each and every day at home. Do not withhold your forgiveness of one another. Just like you wouldn’t withhold you love for each other. Most folks who do withhold forgiveness in an attempt to punish the one they refuse to forgive, don’t realize it, but they harm themselves the most my not forgiving.
Glenda
One other thing I can think of off the top o f my head - forgiveness is a** decision **in that you decide to forgive someone or to withhold that forgiveness, which leads to spiritual and emotional ills. In the home, besides saying “I love you,” to those in your family, I think saying “I forgive you,” is second in importance and if those you love never hear it or say it, then no one will know what forgiveness is. It is one of those things that are necessary for healthy emotional growth as well as strong Christian virtue in the home. God tells us to forgive as we would like to be forgiven. If we nurture this in the home by saying to each other, “I forgive you,” then we will be healing all the little hurts that happen each and every day at home. Do not withhold your forgiveness of one another. Just like you wouldn’t withhold you love for each other. Most folks who do withhold forgiveness in an attempt to punish the one they refuse to forgive, don’t realize it, but they harm themselves the most my not forgiving.
Glenda
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Sonny89
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chimo
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Just don’t bring it up. That is how to do it. Can you imagine if our Lord reminded us of our sins of the past all the time? Well He doesn’t. Than it is up for us to do likewise if we really want to forgive. Jesus often said “Go and do likewise.” It may not be easy but what other way is there.
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janiruchan
Guest
for me what helps are prayers and surrendering all your hatred and sorrows to God—I mean being practically honest to God in prayer that you are struggling with forgiving someone. For me, it takes some time. When you remember the sins committed to you, surrender the thoughts to God…If you nurse it, it will scratch again the wounds, but if you give it up, God will heal you. It will really take some time depending upon your cooperation.
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glendab
Guest
Another great answer for this trouble is to go to Confession and confess that you are having trouble forgiving someone. Then God will pour His Precious Blood into the wounds of sins and division and heal that. If you do this, it will get easier to forgive and let it go. Forgiveness is like riding a bike, the more you do it the easier it gets. But if you get off the bike and pack it away for some reason, you might be a little wobblily when you first try riding again.
Glenda
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Sonny89
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Hopey
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In addition to the great advice given already, I would add, for me, I ask for the Heart of Christ.
Something that helped me in forgiving something horrible in my life, was learning what forgiveness is and isn’t.
From Johnette Benkovic:
“We must know what forgiveness is not.
“To forgive does not mean that we condone the hurtful behavior. To forgive does not mean that our pain doesn’t matter. To forgive does not mean that everything is OK. To forgive does not mean that I should allow ill will toward me to continue. To forgive does not mean that I should stay in an abusive situation. To forgive does not mean that I feel forgiveness.
“Rather, forgiveness is a free-will action, prompted by grace, which sets us free from the consequence of sin. In Matthew 18:18 we read “Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.” When we forgive, the harm committed against us loses its power over us. Anger flees, and with it goes hostility, hatred, resentment, and bitterness. The wall of resistance that we have built around our hearts begins to crumble and fall. No longer held captive to the effects of anger, our stony hearts become “hearts of flesh.” We are set free – and so is the person who has been held in spiritual bondage by the fetters of our unforgiveness.”
These are things I turn back to and also to confession when I start harboring resentment. It becomes easier to do this with practice with grace of the sacraments.
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Joy2day
Guest
I think this might provide some answer as to why there can be forgiveness but no reconciliation - especially when you have no idea/did not understand at all why the people acted the way they did / hurt you. Also, when those who have hurt you will not give an explanation, it makes a reconciliation very difficult - probably stupid actually.Let me know if you find out
I see forgiveness as a lack of revenge and a lack of anger - it is not necessarily reconciliation.
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ready
Guest
In imitation of Jesus Christ on the Cross, forgive the person who has hurt you. Remember all the sins God has forgiven you whenever you are slow to forgive your neighbor. Jesus will be your neighbor’s judge on Judgment Day, you just forgive and forget about the bad memories that may spring up on you; put them out of your mind, change the negative thoughts that creep up into a heartfelt prayer for the person who has hurt you. You can even say to God: Forgive ______ for he knows not what he is doing.
God bless you.
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Sonny89
Guest
Peace and all Good!
Thanks for your post!
In my experience, some of the worst wounds I’ve experienced have come from those who wounded me unintentionally, without realising it so being mindful of Our Lord’s words can be very helpful
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ready
Guest
You are very welcome! I’m glad to be able to help!Peace and all Good!
Thanks for your post!
In my experience, some of the worst wounds I’ve experienced have come from those who wounded me unintentionally, without realising it so being mindful of Our Lord’s words can be very helpful
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