Of course we are to live in the world.How can it be any other way?If the Lord sends you even two or three solid friends who want to please God, you can endure being among thousands who seem not to care about God at all.
Universities are The World in microcosm. You cannot take yourself out of the world. The idea is to live in the world without being “of the world,” and to be the light of Christ in the world. The Church cannot stay healthy if it does not go out among those who still need the light of Christ, nor if it goes out and does not remain distinct from those who do not know Christ.
This is part of Pope Francis’ message to catechists:
*“I prefer a church which is bruised, hurting and dirty because it has been out on the streets, rather than a church which is unhealthy from being confined and from clinging to its own security.” *
The other part of the message are what he called the systole and diastole of being filled up with love by God in prayer and going out and sharing that love with our neighbor. There must be all three: being filled with Christ, meeting one’s neighbor in the love of Christ–those are the systole and diastole, like a heart being filled with blood and pumping it–and then going out two-by-two into the streets where Christ is needed. If you try to have one or two out of the three–well, the Pope says he does not understand how anyone thinks they can possibly do that.
I’ll be starting college this September and, while my family is very happy for me, I’m dreading it. I’ve been dreading it more the past few days since I had to complete a sexual assault educational program for school that basically assumes that I am sexually active (I won’t give details) and I read a post on CAF about a person learning more than they cared to about sex because of a mandatory workshop in college. Over the years, I’ve also read a lot of horror stories on CAF of people’s kids going off to college and coming back hardly recognizable.
In response, I’ve been chalking up a list of things I’ve got going for me and things that might be chinks in my armor.
On one hand, I am not a very social person and hate parties and I chose one of the quieter dorms on campus and a quiet roommate so that the party doesn’t come to me. I’ve survived a nominally Catholic high school in which teachers openly mocked the Church and I’ve learned to not to take everything an authority figure says as gospel even if they are smart in their field of expertise. I am naturally contrarian and prefer to gravitate more to what is not mainstream. I am not naive and have been called extremely anti-naive and I would not trust any guy that just says he loves me.
On the other hand, I am going to one of the best universities in my country and, if someone poses a challenge to me, I’ll likely be facing an intellectual giant be it a professor or a student. I’m no prodigy and I’m not very talented or well-read, I’ve just gotten in because I busted my butt for four years.
These are some I don’t know areas: I’ve never been tempted to get myself into trouble, but, I’ve gone to an all-girls school and have forgotten what guys are like. Also, I never saw my classmates outside of school since school was always so far away. I generally don’t like being around people my age and now I will have no choice but to be with them 24/7. I was not raised in a devout Catholic household. I’ve tried teaching myself with limited resources, but, I still don’t have the best understanding. At least I’ve been around long enough to know where to find quick answers, but, I don’t have much of a support system (all of my Catholic friends live in other states and we only communicate by Skype).
Anyway, I am not sure what has kept me out of trouble all these years, my social isolation or my common sense. I think it was more the social isolation if anything. Anyway, sorry I could not make this post shorter and reading it is a lot of work, but, I need some help. Forgive any typo.
Oh, goodness, I do not mean that you would go to gatherings organized around something immoral just so that you won’t be seen as judgmental! No, no, no! If they want to judge you for staying away from stuff like that, it is on their heads, the poor fools.Of course we are to live in the world.How can it be any other way?
The problem is associating with people who lead very immoral lives. College embraces this attitude of free sex and free expression in everything.
I believe the poster is correct in being cautious because going to drinking and sex parties as is common n college is NOT going to further someones spirituality. You must avoid those situations always.
That is all well and good in theory,but all too often peer pressure,especially that exerted by people very charming and intelligent,will win out.Oh, goodness, I do not mean that you would go to gatherings organized around something immoral just so that you won’t be seen as judgmental! No, no, no! If they want to judge you for staying away from stuff like that, it is on their heads, the poor fools.
I mean you have rather close acquaintances in college whom you would not choose as friends. You have lab partners, you have classmates you need to study with or do group projects with, you have people who do work study with you, teammates on sports teams, roommates and people you know on your floor from the dorms, and the list goes on and on.
You cannot help but associate rather closely with people other than your trusted friends. It is OK to treat them warmly; it is not Christian to give sinners the cold shoulder, even if we make a distinction between brothers and sisters in the faith and those who bluntly refuse to live a moral life. These people will sometimes confide in you. They will sometimes invite you to do things, have you turn them down, and then have the outing go badly for them. You want them to feel as if you aren’t going to sit in judgment of people who are picking up the pieces from their poor decisions. They may not be among those you can use as your support system while you aim to live a faithful life, but they are still among those for whom Christ died. Christ thirsts for them, and wants you to live in recognition that they need to be evangelized by you. You have to be certain they know you accept them as human beings, even though you reject the deadly things they are suggesting you ought to accept from them.
I mean that it is impossible to participate fully in university life without having significant social interactions with people whose morals and opinions are seriously in conflict with Catholic moral teaching. Most of those who hold these views honestly believe that they are in fact moral. Some will even think they are more moral than the Church. Yes, they pose a threat to the faith, particularly for the Catholic who has no one else with whom to go out “two-by-two.” Even in the case, of Catholics with Catholic friends to lean on, you have to learn how to uphold the truth with mercy and compassion and you have to have a thick skin. You have more to do with that person that to simply get out with your own sin. When they crash and burn, they will need you to be willing to show them compassion. Ironically enough, there won’t always be anyone else who will.That is all well and good in theory,but all too often peer pressure,especially that exerted by people very charming and intelligent,will win out.
The Catholic purpose is not to go out and evangelize in the sense of converting,but it simply means living ones faith.
Avoiding immoral activities and people is a wise choice. You do not have to give them the “cold shoulder” but neither should you try to convert them or evangelize.
The secular culture is so dominant and entrenched in colleges that even Notre dame has accepted same sex marriages! This is a Catholic institute mind you and it boggles my mind how we came to this point in the name of “tolerance and diversity” and “nondiscrimination”.You sound very well formed, and I have no doubt you will be able to see through the smoke when something is not right. As said before, a lot of college freshmen just go with the flow. In my college days I had no interest in any party behavior, etc. You will find the good with the bad. I had some great professors who I still keep in touch with, and there were some that were eccentric or just plain “out there”. There are the occasional ones who will spout their political views in class when the course doesn’t call for it. You just kind of have to tune it out if that happens. You will also have opportunities to meet some great people. If you have a ministry on campus, FOCUS, Frassati nearby, you will find like-minded individuals. Don’t be afraid to stand up for your faith if you need to. The secular culture is rampant at colleges though. You become accustomed to putting blinders on.
What do you mean by participating “fully” in university life?Are you speaking about fraternities,clubs,social events?I mean that it is impossible to participate fully in university life without having significant social interactions with people whose morals and opinions are seriously in conflict with Catholic moral teaching. Most of those who hold these views honestly believe that they are in fact moral. Some will even think they are more moral than the Church. Yes, they pose a threat to the faith, particularly for the Catholic who has no one else with whom to go out “two-by-two.” Even in the case, of Catholics with Catholic friends to lean on, you have to learn how to uphold the truth with mercy and compassion and you have to have a thick skin. You have more to do with that person that to simply get out with your own sin. When they crash and burn, they will need you to be willing to show them compassion. Ironically enough, there won’t always be anyone else who will.
With a few good friends who have the faith, however, it is hardly impossible. The most important thing is to turn to God in prayer to meet your needs: a good pastor, a good confessor, friends in the faith, the grace of perseverance, protection from trenched-in self-righteousness (which is the ditch on the other side of the road into which the evil one will attempt to seduce the faithful).
Umm…no. I mean studying with other people, doing joint projects with them, things of that nature. When it comes to your social life, you are as free to be as narrow as you like as you are when you are in the work world. (At some campuses, you’d better be.)What do you mean by participating “fully” in university life?Are you speaking about fraternities,clubs,social events?
A student who is accepted at a major university is motivated to learn and grow both intellectually and spiritually,Given that probably 75 percent of college students not only begin questioning their faith and beliefs but begin adhering to secular beliefs of relativism and eventually abandon faith in favor of a vague “spirituality”.I believe it prudent to be very careful with whom one associates. Lucifer can be very devious and does not usually show himself for what he is.
Self righteousness is very different from prudence and discerning dangerous situations.
Don’t forget being roommates (especially during one’s Freshman year) with people whose values you don’t agree with. Seriously, if you’re coming from a smallish town and don’t know anyone going to the university you plan on attending (which is quite common), you quite often end up being roomies with people that don’t share your values. There’s often not much you can do about it, either, other than simply negotiating ground rules with your roommate (room transfers usually are only granted if (a) there’s a room available, and/or (b)the conflict in the room is severe).Umm…no. I mean studying with other people, doing joint projects with them, things of that nature. When it comes to your social life, you are as free to be as narrow as you like as you are when you are in the work world. (At some campuses, you’d better be.)
You will be FINE! Relax!!!Today I was to submit a tentative fall quarter schedule for school. For some reason, all of the classes I had to take are on the same three days. I looked at my course load and wanted to puke. I finished at around 11:40 PM. It is now almost 3:00 AM where I’m at and I still cannot fall asleep even with sleep aid. The thought of school and living among strangers, being harassed by guys, and being worked like a dog is haunting me.
Yeah, I remember being in the same place 7 years ago. Living among strangers was the most nerve-wracking thing that I had to deal with, especially since you get assigned to be a roommate with someone you’ve likely never met. Usually they have those questionnaires so they try to pair you with someone compatible. If you’re like me, the first couple of days will be awkward around the roommates, even if you like them right away. After the first week it will be better, After the second week you should be settled into a routine. Maybe if you live close to home (within reason), you could plan on going home to visit your parents for Columbus day weekend, so you only have a month of the new environment and can look forward to going home to recharge in mid October.Today I was to submit a tentative fall quarter schedule for school. For some reason, all of the classes I had to take are on the same three days. I looked at my course load and wanted to puke. I finished at around 11:40 PM. It is now almost 3:00 AM where I’m at and I still cannot fall asleep even with sleep aid. The thought of school and living among strangers, being harassed by guys, and being worked like a dog is haunting me.
Life has a way of throwing challenges at us, as long as we are alive. So, college is just the next challenge.I’ll be starting college this September and, while my family is very happy for me, I’m dreading it. I’ve been dreading it more the past few days since I had to complete a sexual assault educational program for school that basically assumes that I am sexually active (I won’t give details) and I read a post on CAF about a person learning more than they cared to about sex because of a mandatory workshop in college. Over the years, I’ve also read a lot of horror stories on CAF of people’s kids going off to college and coming back hardly recognizable.
In response, I’ve been chalking up a list of things I’ve got going for me and things that might be chinks in my armor.
On one hand, I am not a very social person and hate parties and I chose one of the quieter dorms on campus and a quiet roommate so that the party doesn’t come to me. I’ve survived a nominally Catholic high school in which teachers openly mocked the Church and I’ve learned to not to take everything an authority figure says as gospel even if they are smart in their field of expertise. I am naturally contrarian and prefer to gravitate more to what is not mainstream. I am not naive and have been called extremely anti-naive and I would not trust any guy that just says he loves me.
On the other hand, I am going to one of the best universities in my country and, if someone poses a challenge to me, I’ll likely be facing an intellectual giant be it a professor or a student. I’m no prodigy and I’m not very talented or well-read, I’ve just gotten in because I busted my butt for four years.
These are some I don’t know areas: I’ve never been tempted to get myself into trouble, but, I’ve gone to an all-girls school and have forgotten what guys are like. Also, I never saw my classmates outside of school since school was always so far away. I generally don’t like being around people my age and now I will have no choice but to be with them 24/7. I was not raised in a devout Catholic household. I’ve tried teaching myself with limited resources, but, I still don’t have the best understanding. At least I’ve been around long enough to know where to find quick answers, but, I don’t have much of a support system (all of my Catholic friends live in other states and we only communicate by Skype).
Anyway, I am not sure what has kept me out of trouble all these years, my social isolation or my common sense. I think it was more the social isolation if anything. Anyway, sorry I could not make this post shorter and reading it is a lot of work, but, I need some help. Forgive any typo.
Speaking as a 21 year old incoming senior architecture student, you won’t lose yourself if you already know who you are. And frankly, it sounds like you do. I wasn’t exceptionally social in high school, but I would try to be on good terms with everyone I came across. I have a small group(s) of very close friends, and then a lot of people I know but don’t go out of my way to hang out with.I’ll be starting college this September and, while my family is very happy for me, I’m dreading it. I’ve been dreading it more the past few days since I had to complete a sexual assault educational program for school that basically assumes that I am sexually active (I won’t give details) and I read a post on CAF about a person learning more than they cared to about sex because of a mandatory workshop in college. Over the years, I’ve also read a lot of horror stories on CAF of people’s kids going off to college and coming back hardly recognizable.
In response, I’ve been chalking up a list of things I’ve got going for me and things that might be chinks in my armor.
On one hand, I am not a very social person and hate parties and I chose one of the quieter dorms on campus and a quiet roommate so that the party doesn’t come to me. I’ve survived a nominally Catholic high school in which teachers openly mocked the Church and I’ve learned to not to take everything an authority figure says as gospel even if they are smart in their field of expertise. I am naturally contrarian and prefer to gravitate more to what is not mainstream. I am not naive and have been called extremely anti-naive and I would not trust any guy that just says he loves me.
On the other hand, I am going to one of the best universities in my country and, if someone poses a challenge to me, I’ll likely be facing an intellectual giant be it a professor or a student. I’m no prodigy and I’m not very talented or well-read, I’ve just gotten in because I busted my butt for four years.
These are some I don’t know areas: I’ve never been tempted to get myself into trouble, but, I’ve gone to an all-girls school and have forgotten what guys are like. Also, I never saw my classmates outside of school since school was always so far away. I generally don’t like being around people my age and now I will have no choice but to be with them 24/7. I was not raised in a devout Catholic household. I’ve tried teaching myself with limited resources, but, I still don’t have the best understanding. At least I’ve been around long enough to know where to find quick answers, but, I don’t have much of a support system (all of my Catholic friends live in other states and we only communicate by Skype).
Anyway, I am not sure what has kept me out of trouble all these years, my social isolation or my common sense. I think it was more the social isolation if anything. Anyway, sorry I could not make this post shorter and reading it is a lot of work, but, I need some help. Forgive any typo.