How has your faith helped you and your loved ones?

[TaylorCat]

Greetings to all!

Before I elaborate on the question posed in the thread title, I thought I should provide a little background as to why I am here.

I am an atheist that has moved from a village to a significantly larger town centre. This being the case, there are a number of different churches and religious associations right on my doorstep, which I have found quite intriguing.

Why intriguing? Well, there seems to be a wonderful sense of community in general, and whilst I don’t adhere to any particular religion, I can certainly see some positive benefits reflected in the people living local to me.

I have been reading/listening to some of the content on this site with an open mind and a passion to learn and thought I would start a thread on here to better understand how your faith or church has help overcome any turmoil.

I would be grateful to hear your stories

Kind Regards

TaylorCat

 

[ProdglArchitect]

My experience in returning to the faith is hard to explain. I fancy myself a bit of an intellectual, though only a bit. I like things that are logical and tend to gravitate towards them. During college I fell away from my faith and embraced ideas that, at the time, seemed to make sense. After college I felt a pull to begin attending mass again. I did so, and delved into studying my faith through this site and various other sources. The more I learned about the faith and what it taught, its philosophies, its reasoning, etc, the less I was able to maintain my previous assumption about life, its purpose and my state in it.

Eventually, I completely embraced my faith, in a way I had never done prior. Since having done so, I have found an immeasurable sense of peace in all aspects of my life. I am happier in my relationship with my wife, my wife is happier in our relationship; my relationship with my parents has improved greatly, and -most- of my interpersonal relationships have become stronger.

I say most, because there are a few of my friend that I gained during college who are decidedly anti-theist. I gladly engage in debates with them, I still count them among my close friends, but I cannot consider them as friendly as I once did because there are times when they have actively attacked me based solely on my adherence to my beliefs.

I guess if I were to sum it up, every aspect of my life has gained a peace that I did not know before learning, in depth, about my faith.

 

[ServantPD]

First of all, welcome to CAF and I love how you came here with an open mind to learn about what we’re about.

I was an atheist a little more than 12 months ago, I’m fresh and have been doing an objective evaluation of it myself, given that I actually acquired my faith through reason with the mindset of natural theology of St. Thomas Aquinas. Hope I can make the results a bit clear to you.

How has the faith helped me and my loved ones? Damn, where can I start… First of all, you are right about the awesome sense of community this has, and we really learn to love each other and to be united with every single one of them, when you’re in an active group. I could go far as to say that my ex-girlfriends would probably get jealous about how I gradually began love my youth group. I used to be occasionally a serious and competitive guy, trying to look better than the rest. Now, I just get satisfied to have them on my sight. This really helped me taste what true happiness really is, which I thought it was an emotional ilusion when I was an atheist. But even the Church gives a pretty techincal term to it, which is even used to call the most important of our sacraments: Communion.

Of course, my sense of happiness that comes from discovering Christ also delights the others around me, giving a better enviroment to who’s ready to embrace it. I’ve seen more motivation on myself to go through school and tests and to help other with no need of retribution, which has helped far more than the ones I love or even know much, departing as a missionary to help out people I don’t even know and showing them the faith that drove me to them.

Paradoxically, in the sense of humility that you get by realizing how small you are in front of God, you also get the ambition of excelling for being one that belong to His love, and living the most out of what He created. And as I based (at least at first) on posteriori faith to convert, I showed people how God showed Himself and how He loves you without needing to rely on the classic (and sometimes deceiving) a priori faith. I get to feel that they gradually feel as much happiness that I do and less monotony thanks to Him.

This Church (and the God I believe that is behind it all), even though it seems it has silly restrictions and rules, it really gave me the ability to live life to the full, to become more of a virtuous man and, hopefully, give me the ability to make the human experience better to as many people as I can. I look at the great people that were made saints and that did just the same, and I can see how much possible goodness you can achieve, and how much you can give to others, and it really is an inspiration. Who doesn’t want a life like that?

If I’m able to do a final verdict, I’d say that the happiness of my last year is beyond description and hope it remains for the rest of my life, as it promises to be. And if God doesn’t exist, I lived my life bettee than I ever could. If He does exist, and for some reason He thinks that I deserve Hell, I’ll keep the happiness He gave me during my lifetime to keep me happy until the end of time. Like St. Thomas More once said, “no one on his deathbed ever regretted having been a Catholic”. I guess it’s safe to say that in my Pascal’s Wager, all my wages seem to have worked right

I’d tell you to give a try on this, but this is always up to you and if you’re capable of believing in Christianity, which may not happen. But if you can give a try, do it and don’t look further back until you’ve dug enough. Like the last Patriarch of my diocese said, “Christianity isn’t a theory, it’s an experience” so until you really understood everything we believe and really tried to live and put yourself into your lcoal community, you can really say you’ve experienced true happiness!

 

[TaylorCat]

Thanks for the great reply ServantPD

It definitely made for interesting reading.

 

[ServantPD]

Thanks for the great reply ServantPD

It definitely made for interesting reading.

You’re welcome, that was quite kind to say! (and don’t just thank me, ProdglArchitect also took his time to write a reply! )

Feel free to contact me through PM for any request or question. Or just ask here in the forum, there are experts about everything.

 

[dedo]

1. Self improvement. My encounters with people of faith have shown me an example, and lead me to resources, that have helped me improve. This is an ongoing process.
2. Preservation of marriage. I believe that worshiping together strengthens a marriage. I notice when I attend services with my wife we are happier. So we try to do this weekly.
3. Protection from danger. Years ago I read about a big wave surfer that drowned in Hawaii. Just before going out, the group of surfers received a strange warning from someone who pulled over and warned them not to go out because of a weather forecast. They did not heed the warning. Shortly after this a Christian surfer taught me to say a prayer before going out. I now say a Hail Mary before engaging in any risky activity. You never know what you avoided unless you don’t get on a plane that crashes etc. Something like that did happen. I had a premonition of danger when I was about to tell a young surfer about a “friendly” break in Maui. I listened and did not mention the break. The week the kid was in Maui, a tiger shark killed a surfer at that exact break.
4. Never facing life alone. God finds a way to let me know that I am not alone.
5. Moving forward on my journey. This is only something that I could see in hindsight. However, even when I was not sure that God existed, I tried to never miss Mass mainly because of Pascal’s wager. Only in hindsight could I see the many times that I persevered when I wanted to quit, or avoided going in a bad direction. I attribute this to the Grace of God.

Proverbs 3:6 “In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” I now believe this seeking of direction should apply to many more areas of our life including our health and diet.

What I am trying to do better at is bringing the gift of faith to others. I believe that this is highly associated with service, and love. Since I tend to be more introverted, it is something I have to work at.

 

[CatholicHockey7]

TaylorCat,

A few years ago I was ready to denounce all belief in God.

Things in my life weren’t going the way that I wanted them to go. I saw people who, in my eyes, weren’t living moral lives (not that I was honestly any better, but I didn’t see it then) and yet had everything they could ever desire. Meanwhile I had nothing I wanted and everything was falling apart.

I gave God an ultimatum, “prove to me you’re real.” He could have given me any sign, could have brought any woman into my life to fill the hole I felt most needed to be filled. His answer came in the form of a woman completely devoted to Him.

A fellow Catholic, she had a true relationship with God. It was the first time I’d ever seen what that relationship looked like. Unfortunately, I wasn’t mature enough in my faith to be the man she needed me to be. She became a god to me, and my relationship with Christ - and with her - suffered.

After we broke up, I was lost for a few weeks while I tried to sort out what happened. I kept going to church, though, and prayed constantly. God carried me through some tough times. I know He answered my prayer when He brought her into my life.

Of course, simply going to church and following the rules isn’t enough if done for the wrong reason. I was trying to follow the rules because I thought I had to follow them.

Then came last year. While I was dealing with personal adversity on my college hockey team, I came across our school’s Fellowship of Christian Athletes group. I realized the reason I struggled was because God was only one part of my life.

Think about a box. In that box I had my family, my friends, hockey, school, work, God, and all the other aspects of my daily life. The problem with that is it kept God in His own little corner to rely on only when I felt like it.

Now think about a box that has everything in it except God. Why did I take God out of the box? Because I realized He IS the box.

My life is far from perfect, but I learned to trust God completely. As a result, I’m happier and more at peace than I’ve ever been. I have bad days, and I still struggle with the same temptations I’ve always struggled with. But I know I don’t have to deal with them alone. I know at any moment I can go to God and ask for His help.

Philippians 4:7 - “And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”

 

[TaylorCat]

Thank you for all of your responses

It has been a great insight to read all of them.

This may sound like a naive or ignorant question, so I apologise in advance!

Is the community provided by the church a key reason why you attend? Obviously, for those with a deep belief in God there are more important reasons, but are there other factors which you feel benefit?

I hope this is the right place to ask these questions. I also hope no one minds me asking them!

 

[CatholicHockey7]

Thank you for all of your responses

It has been a great insight to read all of them.

This may sound like a naive or ignorant question, so I apologise in advance!

Is the community provided by the church a key reason why you attend? Obviously, for those with a deep belief in God there are more important reasons, but are there other factors which you feel benefit?

I hope this is the right place to ask these questions. I also hope no one minds me asking them!

You’re absolutely in the right place to be asking these questions.

For me, yes, community is an important part of attendance. I spent this summer working with Fellowship of Christian Athletes, and I realized my faith was infinitely stronger when I was at camp surrounded by my brothers than I was at home alone.

 

[TaylorCat]

Thanks CatholicHockey7!

I have noticed people carrying out commendable charity works in the name of religion in my area, which is obviously a big positive. I suppose, being an atheist, it makes me wonder, how best to mobilise people cohesively to do good things aside from sharing a common faith or identical philosophy.

 

[dedo]

Thank you for all of your responses

It has been a great insight to read all of them.

This may sound like a naive or ignorant question, so I apologise in advance!

Is the community provided by the church a key reason why you attend? Obviously, for those with a deep belief in God there are more important reasons, but are there other factors which you feel benefit?

I hope this is the right place to ask these questions. I also hope no one minds me asking them!

For me, “community” has nothing to do with why I attend church.

However, that is probably a mistake.

In general, I am not that great with people, so I tend not to seek out community. I also look up to people who do have good “people skills”.

However, church is probably a good place to get better at it.

So I would like to improve my skills in this area and possibly also improve in an area that I will just call “poise”.

Since I work in an environment where urgent situations can occur at any time, it is important to deal with them in a way that keeps people calm and focused at the job at hand. I do that; however, at times I can get a little “testy” or impatient with others and that is not good.

I think spending more time in general interacting with people, and reading the right material will help me get better in this area. For example, I watched a martial arts tournament last June and I marveled at the total poise of the competitors as they calmly matched each other’s attempts to submit their opponent with no displays of irritation or fear, and very little display of tiredness. This is a character I would like to have.

However, I cannot get there without interacting with others.

There is no other way. In general, God teaches you through His Word, and through other people.

Church is one place to interact with the right people.

 

[ServantPD]

Thank you for all of your responses

It has been a great insight to read all of them.

This may sound like a naive or ignorant question, so I apologise in advance!

Is the community provided by the church a key reason why you attend? Obviously, for those with a deep belief in God there are more important reasons, but are there other factors which you feel benefit?

I hope this is the right place to ask these questions. I also hope no one minds me asking them!

If my reasons were solely based on the community for me to attend church, I wouldn’t go. Even in a place that is most linked to God, there are still nasty people attending as well, and let’s just say that I’d wish they’d be a bit more far away from me…

Of course, I mentioned how I love that I got close with, and they could be a key reason for me to attend but then again, even though communion strengthens our relationship, we would still be pretty good friends outside of Church, and were likely to meet up and do all sorts of stuff togheter.

I honestly have usually a bad impression of the old women in the parishes that spent so much time there that they are given some responsability, and substitute the sacristans and what not. While I love the most important women that run my church, I have met ones that were really, really nasty. I went once to a church in a nearby city, where the old women usually help out in the Mass. As I’m an acolyte (one of those guys dressed up in white tunics that help the priests), I once found one that was kind of the responsible for the church, that was insisiting that my help wasn’t needed, and that the priest would probably have a acolyte of his own from the seminary (not missing the fact that they said the tunics were only for priests, blah blah blah, but I had my own tunic with me). And while they may express some authority over the average laymen, they had no authority over me, and I answer and obey only to clerics. As the priest had no helper and accepted my help, I basically took their usual job (they should be sitting in the pews, really; not standing out in the presbyterium), and they didn’t express much of a warm welcoming enviroment for me. Now, as it is usual that women like this to run churches, it’s easy for people to be lured away… While most communities that run inside a parish are independent from these people, they’re often judgemental on the behaviour that don’t come to Mass with regularity (it’s obviously different from a regular), and that gets to be a discouragement for people to have their relationships with God.

Another things that I sometimes get are really acolytes getting a rise over me for whatever reasons they can find (wheter that I can’t go to meetings due to little time, even when I just go to their parishes casually, or I try to be a bit more authoritative among them in order for the Mass to run smoother and what not. I sometimes do perform badly, but people are comprehensive about that; this is more whining than anything else). In those cases I just take my tunic off and attend Mass like everybody else. There are times I can help, and there are times that my help isn’t welcome at all and I can’t do much about it.

In a bit of a conclusion, while the community can really be a key reason to attend church, it may be a key reason not to. The Church is made 100% by sinners, and supported 100% by God as well. If I get to find good people, I can have a really good time; but if I get bad people, I’ll try and look at Jesus on the cross and simply say to myself “For the sake of Your love that You’ve shown for me, I’ll be serving these men and women and serving you alongside them, not even if they act with a behaviour that looks that came straight out of Hell”. I never had thought that my service was going to be easy at certain points, but I knew I’d be doing the right thing and what I believed to be true.

 

[TaylorCat]

Interesting post ServantPD!

All,

Are there ever instances in family life that you don’t think you can overcome, without the support of the church?

Do you think overcoming life’s problems are possible without the need for church?

Thanks again for all of your responses

 

[Saturn5]

Interesting post ServantPD!

All,

Are there ever instances in family life that you don’t think you can overcome, without the support of the church?

Do you think overcoming life’s problems are possible without the need for church?

Thanks again for all of your responses

Oh where to begin?!?!

Only through following Jesus Christ and his teachings have I been able to handle being out of work for over a year and a wife who is having a difficult time in our marriage. You can look at my other posts about my marriage if you care. Several years ago my wife after about 7 years of marriage came to me with the, I love you, but not “in” love with you talk. I was not oblivious to her unhappiness, but just didn’t know at the time how to help her.

My wife’s confession to me sent me on a roundabout path to finally coming face to face with Christ. I am a cradle catholic, but had fallen away for some years. I was more of “cafeteria catholic” during that time…picking and chosing what I wanted to believe and follow. Long story short, my faith has deepened tremendously. I “see” the Lord’s hand in many, many things each and every day. My marriage is much easier for me than my wife. With that said, by focusing on fixing me, it forces my wife to look at her actions…sometimes I think she doesn’t like what she sees. And she will eventually understand how freeing it is to follow the Lord verses chasing some secular goals.

I put my trust in God to help heal my wife and help me find the ideal job. I have less stress because of it because He is my Father, loves me unconditionally and will take care of my family and me. I am able to stay focused on tasks I need to do as a husband and father because I have less stress worrying about where I’ll find a job or why won’t my wife meet my needs.

 

[TaylorCat]

Thanks for the reply Saturn5

I am glad to hear that it has helped you through difficult times and I wish you all the best for the future.

I suppose I very much like the idea of attending a church for the community aspect, but if I attended for that reason alone, it would be dishonest of me.

I used to attend church when I was younger, but I drifted away from it. I then started reading atheistic literature and my views shifted drastically.

 

[ServantPD]

Thanks for the reply Saturn5

I am glad to hear that it has helped you through difficult times and I wish you all the best for the future.

I suppose I very much like the idea of attending a church for the community aspect, but if I attended for that reason alone, it would be dishonest of me.

I used to attend church when I was younger, but I drifted away from it. I then started reading atheistic literature and my views shifted drastically.

I know you’re not going to believe what I’m about to say, but God is at work when you see these people togheter like this, and He’ll be at work on you through them. With that in mind, unless your local community is filled with zealots, they’ll welcome you in open arms and will be happy to have you. After all, more often than not a person’s faith may start on his/her personal Pascal Wager, and that’s not honest to begin with. But in letting them get in, they see the grace of God and they became great and virtuous Christians, and some of the greatest really went through that way of conversion. It’s weird, it may look dishonest, but it works. And we don’t strap people into chairs and hit them with Bibles on their heads until they change their minds, people really get to love this gradually and naturally. As Thomas Woods said in a video series about the Catholic Church (here’s the link), “It’s not always by debating them into the Church or bashing them over the head into the Church. Other people have been brought into this Church because Catholics have just “niced” them to death! They’re just so nice to them all the time, they just can’t take it anymore! “Okay, I’ll look into this! How can you people be so good to me?” And that’s what brings them in.”

My say is to go ahead and join them. I actually have an atheist in my youth group whom I am planning to write down explanations on his questions and arguments against God, most notably the Eutyphro dilemma (I have an answer, but it’s far from being a simple one ), and we’ve become pretty nice friends over this antagonism in views.

Now, as a former atheist, I know first-hand how an atheist thinks, and how ahteistic literature really is, especially the latest one on New Atheism where they get really nasty when talking about us. You search in a philosophical level, and contrary to what many people believe, theism has gotten the upper hand among scholars in the last 50 years since the death of logical positivism (which is, by the way, how New Atheism has worked as far as I’ve read, and it’s a flawed philosophy). I’ve gone as far as to believe that a completley materialistic world would only be possible if the universe has worked in ways different than this one, and as this one works the way it does, materialistic naturalism sounds like a fair and nice idea in theory, but impossible in practice.

Feel free to send me a PM to talk about that type of stuff as well. Show me what has conviced your from the atheistic crowd, what keeps you from thinking the possibility of God logically existing. If you do that, we can go further. Like I said to my friend “I don’t think I’ll be able to convert you, but I’ll keep your mind more open for the idea, and make the concept of God more reasonable to you.” It may not seem much from a certain perspective, but it’s one heck of a leap forward! Will be checking my inbox if you will to discuss this with me.

 

[dedo]

Interesting post ServantPD!

All,

Are there ever instances in family life that you don’t think you can overcome, without the support of the church?

Do you think overcoming life’s problems are possible without the need for church?

Thanks again for all of your responses

I believe the foundation of the Christian walk is based on: 1. The local church. 2. The word of God. 3. Prayer.

So if you are asking how well a 3 legged stool works without one leg then the answer is “not very well”

Church is like a combination of a coach and a hearing aid. God desires for each of us to become the best version of ourselves according to the Catholic speaker, Matthew Kelly.

You can’t become the best version of yourself without the local church (coach).

The church is also like a “hearing aid”. Often, a sermon will address exactly the issue you are concerned about. Also, your ability to hear other “warnings” from wise people is enhanced.

The devil doesn’t attack with obvious attacks. It is always a “slippery slope”. Warnings will come, but the question is: “Are you listening?”

When I was in school I developed a friendship with a professor who was not much older than me. It was totally confined to work without getting into any personal communications in or outside of work until one day we both finished a night shift and decided to go get something to eat – together. She was married and I was single. We both realized that we had “crossed the line” after the lunch, and the mistake was never repeated. I think without the “hearing aid”, this could have progressed to something bad for both of us. We stayed friends, but only at work.

In retrospect, and in reading these forums, you see the many “slippery slopes” people walk down. I am coming to realize that when you are evaluating whether something is innocent or possibly wrong, then be careful, ask for advice, or keep the situation totally under the umbrella of a legitimate framework – such as this forum (the open forum, not PMs or emails).

In this digital age of social media, it is even more important to have a “hearing aid”, since things are changing so quickly.

I am toying with the idea of trying to outline a screen play called “Followers” about some people that are following each other. One would like to change from “follower” to “friend” but comes to realize that this can only happen under a truly legitimate umbrella (such as the situation above). So he tries to create the umbrella by trying to build something that could improve a societal problem.

He knows that if he fails then the “following” will likely fade away, and the friendship will never happen. If he succeeds then maybe it will.

I am not sure about the ending.

 

[TaylorCat]

Interesting post dedo! Many thanks

I am thinking about attending a church to simply learn more now.

 

[TaylorCat]

Hi again everyone!

I recently walked past the local church to me (I’m not sure what type of church it is, aside from christian), as a service was happening. Someone saw me looking in (out of curiosity) and invited me in.

I chose not to go in, but I kind of regret it now as it probably would have been an interesting experience. They are quite involved in their local community.

My question is, what do you think the catholic church does to promote local community more so than other churches?

Once again, apologies if this sounds like a naive question. Willing to learn!

 

[dedo]

It is fine to go into a church as a visitor and see what it is like.

Churches welcome this. Although we are all shy about going into new groups, you get more comfortable with it the more you do it.

So I would say to visit churches and see for yourself what they are like. In Catholic churches the only restriction is about not taking communion until you complete RCIA. Otherwise, visitors are welcomed. In Protestant churches, any baptized Christian can take communion. However, it is fine not to take it. For example, when I go to Protestant church I can’t take communion because I am Catholic (Catholic rule).

I don’t know which church by denomination is more involved in the community. You would probably have to visit to find out. Almost all Catholic and Christian churches have community outreach programs such as food pantries, homeless dinners, or missions etc. Many Catholic churches partner with and support a sister Church / school in a poor country. I am sure the Protestant churches do a lot of this as well.

You will need to visit to decide what works best for you. Catholicism definitely works best for me. However, my wife is Protestant and that works best for her. I like the sacraments and music best in the Catholic churches I go to. However, I like a lot of the Protestant (and Catholic) speakers.

One difference I have noticed from going to church with my wife is that many traditional Protestant churches have small denominations. The result is that you will get to know people faster. However, there may also be more “encouragement” to participate in various church activities. In bigger churches such as most Catholic churches, and the newer non-denominational Protestant churches, you can participate as much or as little as you want. It it more like going to a big school. You can be anonymous or very active – it is up to you.

Good luck.