How important is a wedding reception?

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Luvz2travel said:
My uncle got married in the park and had a big BBQ afterwards. It’s still one of the best weddings I’ve ever been too. They didn’t have the funds for a big reception but what was nice about it was that just about everyone they knew could come, everyone could sit back in relax and not feel pressured to dress up to the 9s and wear uncomfortable clothing. Folks also seemed to stick around and socialize more for a longer period. All and all I would like to do something like that if I ever married. Wedding on the beach and party on the beach after would sound like heaven to me but then I’ve never liked doing the same thing everyone else does. It’s your wedding do it the way you want. 👍
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Unfortunately a Catholic must be married in a Catholic Church with a priest. That is a non-negotiable.

It sounds nice and I have been to a few beach weddings. Personally, I think they are overdone and tired. Everyone wants to get married at the beach.

Our reception was at a place that had spectacular views of the water and we were able to get some pretty pictures outside of the restaurant.
 
Wedding reception is really important I think! “Blessed are those called to the WEDDING FEAST of the Lamb”. On the day of my wedding, I remembered that verse and it finally clicked for me why we were having a reception. God uses human marriage as an example of His love for the world. In Revelation, John sees the wedding reception of marriage between Christ and His Bride.
 
I think a reception is important. It’s a way to thank your family and friends for their love and support. It generally means alot to the parents as well. I agree with the ideas of a BBQ. You could get a shelter at a park which costs next to nothing to rent. If you know anyone who lives in a nicer apartment complex or building, they may have a clubhouse or ballroom you could borrow for cheap or free.
 
Allegra said:
I think a reception is important. It’s a way to thank your family and friends for their love and support. It generally means alot to the parents as well. I agree with the ideas of a BBQ. You could get a shelter at a park which costs next to nothing to rent. If you know anyone who lives in a nicer apartment complex or building, they may have a clubhouse or ballroom you could borrow for cheap or free.
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I agree…I come from a large family and have to travel on average 500 miles to go to most family weddings so I see it as a time where we can celebrate the new union as well as see everyone we hardly get to see. I like the idea of a backyard or potluck reception…it’s not about the fanciness, it’s the time spent with loved ones.
 
dont_lose_heart said:
Or we get married in the church, followed by a cake and punch reception in the church hall, with the church family and our family, then get on a flight in the evening on our honeymoon and when we return have some drinks with our friends or a BBQ.

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I really like this idea. I have a friend who had a small reception at her parent’s home. The reception doesn’t have to be lavish in order to be a great party. 👍
 
I actually wish we had spent less on our wedding/reception. I do think it is important to begin with a celebration but it doesn’t need to be expensive. Maybe you know someone with a house and land, could you have an out-of-doors reception? Could someone gift you your music? Do you have crafty friends who could come up with decorations? I just went to a reception that used canning jars to hold candles (sitting in clean sand). It was low/no cost and gave the room a beautiful little glow. Dinner isn’t necessary. Something to eat would be wise though. Could you have a friend make a small cake and then use sheet cake to actually serve?

There are so many little cuts I could have made and still have had a beautiful reception.
 
Thanks all, we are making progress, we plan to set a date, that will give us sufficient time to pay for the bare min; and with all your suggestions on friends assisting; am excited that a reception is possible after all.

Bless you all 🙂
 
lizaanne said:
Um — Catholics get married in Churches. Not on beaches or parks. But the rest of it sounds ok.

~Liza
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Not true I know several very Catholic couples who had location weddings. It’s not easy and requires research but it can be done. Also you can do a simple church wedding and then head to the park for the reception.
 
Luvz2travel said:
Not true I know several very Catholic couples who had location weddings. It’s not easy and requires research but it can be done. Also you can do a simple church wedding and then head to the park for the reception.
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You can only get a dispensation to have the wedding not in a church under very particular circumstances. If two Catholics are getting married this is not an option for them. 🤷
 
Definitely, definitely, definitely you should have a reception!!!

Forget everything else, and just think of it this way: if you aren’t going to party on your wedding day, then when are you going to party? Never!!!

Maybe it’s just me, but having a cup of tea and a biscuit? It’s like… come on… you’re getting MARRIED!!! We’re Catholics, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun!

That said, there are ways to do it dirt cheap.

-Depending on the size of the party, an iPOD and speakers can replace a DJ.

-Instead of shelling out for a cake, you can request that certain special guests bring sweets instead of a gift.

-If you have a local Knights of Colombus hall, they can be quite accommodating when it comes to price. Barring that, perhaps there is a place for such an event at your Parish? If not, a backyard party can work too!

-Potluck can work too, if food is too pricey.
 
A simple reception with little more than a cake and maybe some snacky foods is fine as long as you don’t schedule it during a meal time. For example, maybe have your wedding at 1 or 1:30 in the afternoon, and then your reception would be somewhere between 2 and 3:30.
 
I don’t know if this has been mentioned; but you could have an early afternoon wedding followed by a very simple reception – cake, coffee punch – maybe at the parish hall and then have a dinner later that evening for just family (especially those who traveled from out of town for the wedding). That would allow you to celebrate with all of your guests but keep costs down.
 
Also another cheap reception place could be a VFW Hall, we usually rent it for showers (baby/wedding) it is only runs about $200.00 for 4 hours and if we don’t want to do the clean up(we never do) runs between $50 - $100 depending on how many people we have. Also depending on the time of year and day your getting married, you might check with a local Tech school to see if they do wedding cakes. One wedding we went to had a cake that looked like a million dollars and was done for $75.00 and fed 150 people. Congrats on your wedding though 🙂
 
I think wedding receptions are important. You are not only beginning your married life together, but you are also providing a ceremony that brings together families and friends. Many families do not get the opportunity to come together except at big events like these. Since finishing college, many in my close group of friends from school do not have the chance to meet up all together except when one of us gets married. The wedding ceremony is of course the most important thing, but there is also a lot to be said for making the occasion something that will create happy memories and unity for your family and friends.

Of course, this does not have to be expensive. Drinks and desserts are a good and less expensive way to host a reception. You do not need a giant event. My husband and I went to a wedding for two friends of ours and they had an extremely simple reception. The Knights of Columbus managed the fairly simple buffet table and they had very few decorations. However, our circle of friends from college spent many good hours together during and after the reception enjoying each others’ company and celebrating the newlyweds. I had a wonderful time!

Remember that Jesus’ first miracle was at a wedding reception! He valued the celebration enough to save them from running out of wine. A priest once said, “Jesus’ first miracle was keeping the party going!!” 🙂
 
If you invite guests to your wedding it is a good idea to treat them as guests and not make them work for their supper! Have a small reception with whatever cheap food you wish but don’t ask people to bring the dinner. If you have relatives that like to bake it would be reasonable to ask them to help with dessert but not the meal. I can’t believe that someone would be so tacky as to invite people to a reception that featured BYO cereal!! Just incredible.
 
Reception wise, it’s important to follow your budget. I know several friends who did the following:
  • Asked friends and family to come together and served a potluck meal (people who know you well won’t mind)
  • Had a small intimate reception at a restaurent. She had fifty guests in total
  • Have the reception in someone’s backyard. You can either have it catered or potluck
  • You can always rent your church’s hall and have something there
  • I know someone who didn’t serve a meal but instead her service (mass) was at 2 or 3pm and then the reception was at 8pm. It consisted of finger food, desserts, drinks, and lots of dancing. It was really intimate and only her closest friends were invited. Friends and family took care of the food. The large break enabled everyone to go out for supper somewhere and then head to the venue. In this case, I suggest that the venue you chose is close to some fairly inexpensive but good restaurants. Considering it is a wedding, not everyone will appreciate a pizza joint being the only inexpensive restaurant in the area.
If your budget is really low, you can always go out for supper with your closest friends and then save up for a more expensive reception for a few years time. You can pair it with a vow renewal which will make it even more special. These days, people understand weddings are expensive. Whatever you decide, make sure you select the dress of your dreams that fits into your budget and makes you look like a million bucks. In the future, it common to look back at something and do the what if. Just make sure the what if isn’t related to your dress.

BTW- I’ve heard local legion halls can be fairly inexpensive to rent. It’s worth looking into.
Hope this helps.

SG
 
Demetra2 said:
If you invite guests to your wedding it is a good idea to treat them as guests and not make them work for their supper! Have a small reception with whatever cheap food you wish but don’t ask people to bring the dinner. If you have relatives that like to bake it would be reasonable to ask them to help with dessert but not the meal. I can’t believe that someone would be so tacky as to invite people to a reception that featured BYO cereal!! Just incredible.
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Sometimes its not about being tacky, but avoiding debt. Some people have serious budgets to work with. It is **much **better to go with a byo food reception than to go in debt or go without. I’ll admit that cereal seems a little odd, because its not really much of a meal, but if all the guests are fine with it then what does it matter. 🤷
 
We noticed how much stress and expense the wedding reception have been for many people; and for us the most important part of the wedding is the ceremony; and we cannot understand why the reception is so overpriced than usual even for a restaurant, photos, cake, every aspect really; as soon as we say wedding; the price increases… even if we had the money; is it reasonable to waste all that cash on a reception, when it can be used towards the new family?
 
dont_lose_heart said:
We noticed how much stress and expense the wedding reception have been for many people; and for us the most important part of the wedding is the ceremony; and we cannot understand why the reception is so overpriced than usual even for a restaurant, photos, cake, every aspect really; as soon as we say wedding; the price increases… even if we had the money; is it reasonable to waste all that cash on a reception, when it can be used towards the new family?
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It’s not a waste to spend some money on a reception. It is a time of celebration of one of the best days of your lives. If you don’t have the funds, have lemonade and cookies afterward. It can really be that simple.

But I agree with the poster above that you don’t ask others to bring a dish. If you have some friends or relatives who OFFER to make or bring something, that’s different. But please don’t invite your guests with the stipulation they have to bring some food to share.
 
newf said:
It’s not a waste to spend some money on a reception. It is a time of celebration of one of the best days of your lives. If you don’t have the funds, have lemonade and cookies afterward. It can really be that simple.

But I agree with the poster above that you don’t ask others to bring a dish. If you have some friends or relatives who OFFER to make or bring something, that’s different. But please don’t invite your guests with the stipulation they have to bring some food to share.
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…all very valid points I agree but it depends on the persons particular situation; I am just venting my frustration at how over inflated a “wedding reception” cost these days… and how it is not justifiable… i:e for instance; here is an illustration… if I booked a restaurant for a group of people normally it would cost about $15 to $40 for a 3 course meal; but as soon as I mention “wedding”, the price increases to $70 to $120 for a 3 course meal (depending on the restaurant of course)… I can appreciate why people find alternative ways to avoid the expense, so we are now thinking outside the box, thanks for all your suggestions.
 
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