How important is personality?

  • Thread starter Thread starter pessimist
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
P

pessimist

Guest
Obviously this being a Catholic forum, I would assume religion is in the forefront of your minds when it comes to choosing an SO, and I know physical attraction also factors in heavily when choosing a mate. However, I think personality types play a momentous role in maintaining a relationship.

I don’t how many of you are familiarized with the Myers-Briggs (MBTI) typing metric, but there is some legitimacy to it. As someone that falls into the NT category- I sometimes feel as if I’m some foreigner from a distant planet around co-workers, acquaintances and everyday people I come across.

I was in a long-term relationship with a (liberal) Christian woman I met in college, even though I am a non-believer and we had different worldviews, that never really posed a problem. We both were physically attracted to one another. However as time went on we both started to grate on each others nerves. Too many communication barriers; I’m more theoretical, conceptual, more of a ‘big picture’ kind of guy- she was more literal, detail-oriented and lived in the moment. For example, if she wanted to talk about a friend breaking up with her boyfriend (a very specific topic) I always wanted to take the conversation to a ‘higher’ level by speaking about relationships in general. You see what I saying? It…just…couldn’t…work.

Now I am in a relationship with woman that I am far more compatible with in terms of personality. Personality is HUGE. I think we as a society often overlook it in favor of superficialities or ideological compatibility.

Anyone agree. Disagree? Have any idea what I am talking about? I don’t even know what I am talking about half time, so I won’t take offense.
 
I tend to think this type of stuff is a bunch of bunk. Most people I know use things like this or zodiac signs to excuse their personality flaws. If you think your are a “type” defined by a test, then I would say that you are not my type of potential mate. I like the “type” who is confident in who they are and interested in bettering themselves, not just chalking it up to a “type” or “sign”

In short, as bunk as the horoscopes by the sudoku.
 
I disagree. It’s much more than taking some generic test online. Once you read up on the cognitive functions of each type, you’ll see there is real science behind it.

Obviously an individual is far too complex to completely fit into one of the types, but it’s for real, man.
 
pessimist said:
I disagree. It’s much more than taking some generic test online. Once you read up on the cognitive functions of each type, you’ll see there is real science behind it.

Obviously an individual is far too complex to completely fit into one of the types, but it’s for real, man.
Click to expand...
Ok you disagree. You asked.🤷

I can assure you as a scientist and a wife that is a scientist that there is NO science behind it. I have read up on it and studied it at length years ago. It is as much science as the checker at whole foods is a plant biologist.:rolleyes:

Science is for real “man”. Not psudoscience.

Again you can believe what you want, you asked for my opinion. I am sorry it does not agree with your ideas.
 
pessimist said:
For those interested: humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

That’s a start. That test actually typed me wrong. Once I educated myself on the cognitive functions, I determined I was something else.

Either way- I’m in the NT camp.
Click to expand...
Are you familiar with another thing.
the enneagram. This was used in a new agey parish I used to attend for marriage prep. My wife and I refused to take it.
 
You have to be an SJ. Maybe an ISTJ? But definitely an SJ 😃

Anyway, as for your question…no. Although I think I took an online quiz a while back but never really researched it.
 
pessimist said:
You have to be an SJ. Maybe an ISTJ? But definitely an SJ 😃

Anyway, as for your question…no. Although I think I took an online quiz a while back but never really researched it.
Click to expand...
You should, it is science, man…:rolleyes:😃

Oh I love it when people type me. Can you guess my sign too? How about read my palm. Or tell me what heritage I have.:rolleyes:

Or perhaps I am just me, a child of God and work in progress.

You however are a pessimist. I knew this from my almost ESP like sense of deduction.

I used science. Mixed with magic, mixed with stereotyping, mixed with some occult powers and also I am paid by the government to know who you are and what you search on the internet.

Or I just read your screename.😉
 
I was just joking around. 😉

I’m no expert, and besides I don’t think you can type someone from reading a few sentences on a forum; but you really seem like an SJ to me. haha.

Okay, I’m leaving this thread now.
 
I just read this and cracked up
NTs are introspective, logical and on a constant quest for knowledge. They are practical and unsentimental in their approach to problem solving. The actions of an NT are precise and follow a systematic course. Abstract, theoretical and technically adept, NTs are naturally inventive. They can also be described as being analytical, intellectual, inquisitive, independent and complex.
Click to expand...
So basically a real NT would not buy this bunk anyway!

Ever notice that these things really just stroke your ego and gloss over your faults. That is why people believe them.

If you think you are logical, analytical, intellectual and on a quest for knowledge, you would not be logically believing this.
 
No offense but you’re only reading the descriptions. You need to read up on the cognitive functions.

How does such a concrete, skeptical, realist like yourself believe in an invisible preternatural creator? 🤷
 
pessimist said:
No offense but you’re only reading the descriptions. You need to read up on the cognitive functions.

How does such a concrete, skeptical, realist like yourself believe in an invisible preternatural creator? 🤷
Click to expand...
Theology is purely logical just by the name itself Theo… Logy

Not only that but in the first Chapter of John we find out who the Logos is.
The greeks the greatest logical minds of the past all believed in an “invisible preternatural creator”
So do many of the greatest scientists of history and indeed our own time.

It is because of my skepticism and realism that I believe. I trust my mind, not my emotion.
 
So there is no emotional element involved in subscribing to the teachings of Catholicism?

Do you believe everything in the Bible is factual?
 
pessimist said:
So there is no emotional element involved in subscribing to the teachings of Catholicism?

Do you believe everything in the Bible is factual?
Click to expand...
IF you wish this thread to be about that, you should change the title.

I believe, as most Catholics do, that the Bible is the Word of God and that it is to be read and interpreted by the Church in a contextual manner, not a literal one. Though it can be both.

My mind leads my faith, not my heart. My faith has broken my heart many times. Logic is paramount in my theology. Emotion is a part of it. Do I “love” my God, my faith, my family, my neighbor. Sure. But I only “believe” because of evidence.

But what does this have to do with the voo doo pop psychobabble of the OP?
 
No you hijacked it.

I have no interest in debating religion or the nonexistence of a God. However, if you seriously take the Bible as LITERAL truth then you certainly look foolish calling yourself a* thinking *man.

Have no interest in ‘debating’ this topic. It goes NOWHERE. My family is Christian, I have nothing against the religion or any religion for that matter, only its fanatics.
 
pessimist said:
No you hijacked it.

I have no interest in debating religion or the nonexistence of a God. However, if you seriously take the Bible as LITERAL truth then you certainly look foolish calling yourself a* thinking *man

Have no interest in ‘debating’ this topic. It goes NOWHERE. My family is Christian, I have nothing against the religion or any religion for that matter, only its fanatics.
Click to expand...
I don’t wish to hijack your thread. have a good day.
 
People have met, mated and had children for decamillenniums before there were personality tests. I for one would not bother with them.

ICXC NIKA
 
Does anyone see the irony in this thread? Like…real irony.

Did anyone immediately notice my grammatical errors but not care?

Is anyone else amused by the embarrassing arrogance on display in thread?

Is anyone not offended by my existential nihilism?

If you silently nodded yes at all of these things, then I like you…I like you…and I feel so bohemian like you.

For the record: Ti>Ne>Si>Fe. That is my types cognitive function stack.

I’m an INTP…I don’t mix well with those authoritarian SJ types 🙂

I love INFJs. My girlfriend is one but she can be pretty S-like at times.
 
OP, for the sake of those of us who don’t remember what the various initials mean, could you please spell them out? Thanks! 🙂

Almost 35 years ago, our pastor (Protestant) used the MyersBriggs tests for our pre-marital counselling sessions. (I remember that this was the test because one of those names is my maiden name!)

He didn’t mean for us to use it as a label for life. Instead, he used it to help us find areas of potential conflict in our marriage. I think it served its purpose–one of the areas that he pointed out was “finances”–both of us had the same basic approach to finances (spend, spend, spend), and this has caused conflict over the years, although eventually we reached a compromise.

I think that’s the main value of these various “personality tests”–they help people learn how to relate to someone in close quarters. I think they have value when it comes to marriages, parents/children, and in workplaces–many of us will spend decades around our spouse, our children and our parents, and/or our co-workers, and it is nice to have a tool to help us understand those “close” people and know the best way to relate to them.

E.g., the “love languages” is a huge “personality quiz” that many people here on CAF recommend, and I recommend it. It is very helpful for couples.

Kind of funny story about “love languages”-- I took a quiz in Cosmopolitan Magazine (yecch!) years ago when I was a college student, and the results were the same as the “love language” results–I am happiest when the man in my life gives me “useful chores around the house.” To me, there is no bigger turn-on than when my husband is covered with grime after tackling a dirty household job! I can even remember the picture of the studly “chore man” from Cosmo! It’s funny that the venerable and very Christian “love language” quiz produced the same results for me!

One other interesting thing about the “love languages”–my husband’s love language changed. He recently suffered a recurrence of his clinical depression, and entered therapy again (psychiatrist for the meds and psychologist for the cognitive therapy). One of the things that the counselor did was suggest the love language quiz. So my husband and I got it out and Whoa!–his love language was different! (We even had the paper quiz answers that we did years ago, and his were different!) According to the psychologist, the love language can change through the years! So watch out, married couples!

I also think that the “4 basic temperaments” personality quiz is useful not only for couples, but also for parents/children and for co-workers. My husband and I are perfectly matched according to this quiz–I’m a choleric and he’s a melancholic–our personalities work well together, as I goad him to actually get started on projects and finish them, and he goads me to relax and smell the flowers.

I absolutely agree with Hoosier Daddy that these quizzes are not real “science,” but I do believe that there is value in them. As I said above, they help people understand each other. Another useful aspect to these quizzes is that they give shy or awkward couples a place to get started actually talking to each other about stuff other than the latest movie or where they will eat out that night.

However, I think that all of us need to be careful NOT to interpret these quizzes as a warning that we can’t be with certain people. Just the opposite–what the quizzes do is show us how we CAN be with anyone. They give us tools to help us get along with each other.
 
pessimist said:
Does anyone see the irony in this thread? Like…real irony.

Did anyone immediately notice my grammatical errors but not care?

Is anyone else amused by the embarrassing arrogance on display in thread?

Is anyone not offended by my existential nihilism?

If you silently nodded yes at all of these things, then I like you…I like you…and I feel so bohemian like you.

For the record: Ti>Ne>Si>Fe. That is my types cognitive function stack.

I’m an INTP…I don’t mix well with those authoritarian SJ types 🙂

I love INFJs. My girlfriend is one but she can be pretty S-like at times.
Click to expand...
If you want to be an existential nihilist, knock yourself out. All of those philosophical “isms” are a flipping waste of time to me :):)🙂

I’ve never heard of a semiconductor stack containing neon???

I still say that personality tests are a waste of time.

ICXC NIKA
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top