How important is physical attraction in relationships?

[KendraDZ1902]

Thanks for creating a thread that makes me feel even worse about myself. 25 women in 10 ten years and not a single one was attracted to me. Yeah I have a lot of money but I am not blessed in the looks department save my height. Catholic women are why I have been in and out of atheism my whole adult life.

Dude, it isn’t just Catholic women who think looks are important. I was a protestant like, my whole life, still thought looks mattered.

25 women is a lot. Most don’t date that many people…ever.

Just because SOME don’t find you attractive doesn’t mean others won’t. I’m sure tons of people don’t think I’m attractive. It’s not going to get me down and out, though.

Hang in there, bud.

 

[Irishmom2]

I remember that old song, “I’ve grown accustomed to your face,” and it seems like in the old days, physical attraction was not necessarily so important. My grandparents basically had an arranged marriage. They did see each others’ picture beforehand, but my Grandpa more or less proposed with out ever actually meeting my grandma: “I’ll pay for your trip to California if you’ll marry me,” and she agreed. Their marriage lasted 57 years, until he died.

Aww, that is such a sweet story!

 

[Xantippe]

Thanks for creating a thread that makes me feel even worse about myself. 25 women in 10 ten years and not a single one was attracted to me. Yeah I have a lot of money but I am not blessed in the looks department save my height. Catholic women are why I have been in and out of atheism my whole adult life.

Would you really want a woman to marry you that found you physically repulsive?

 

[pianistclare]

Thanks for creating a thread that makes me feel even worse about myself. 25 women in 10 ten years and not a single one was attracted to me. Yeah I have a lot of money but I am not blessed in the looks department save my height. Catholic women are why I have been in and out of atheism my whole adult life.

What has their faith got to do with it?
25 women and I’d be looking more at personality traits than attractiveness.
Guys with a sense of humor, a bit of humility, and good conversation and education are REALLY attractive. Maybe work on the inside and don’t fret on the outside. I know several fairly ordinary guys who married gorgeous and devout women. They were attracted to their personality, and we able to see past the physical. Happens all the time.

 

[phil19034]

I think it’s important to be beautiful. And beauty comes from the inside.

There are many people who can be good looking, sexy, etc.; but they are not beautiful. Beauty comes from God.

When I was younger, I sometimes became friends with girls that I was NOT initially physically attracted to. But over time, their beauty often radiated from the inside and I often felt myself beginning to fall for them. I would start to find them more physically attractive after I found them spiritually attractive.

The same thing often happens to people in the workplace (which is also why many affairs happen at work or with friends). When a man connects with a woman’s personality, intellect, heart, mind, etc; it’s often more powerful than her looks. That’s the difference between love and lust.

So yes, “physical attraction” is important as long as it is based on beauty. But the chemical physical attraction we all feel when we look at someone who is “sexy” is lust.

Finally, I think fact that so many people put such high importance on lustful “physical attraction” vs. beautiful spiritual attraction is one major reason why fornication and divorce are so common in today’s society. We confuse a lustful, chemical reaction for beauty.

But after all, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

God Bless.

 

[LongingSoul]

I think it’s important to be beautiful. And beauty comes from the inside.

There are many people who can be good looking, sexy, etc.; but they are not beautiful. Beauty comes from God.

When I was younger, I sometimes became friends with girls that I was NOT initially physically attracted to. But over time, their beauty often radiated from the inside and I often felt myself beginning to fall for them. I would start to find them more physically attractive after I found them spiritually attractive.

The same thing often happens to people in the workplace (which is also why many affairs happen at work or with friends). When a man connects with a woman’s personality, intellect, heart, mind, etc; it’s often more powerful than her looks. That’s the difference between love and lust.

So yes, “physical attraction” is important as long as it is based on beauty. But the chemical physical attraction we all feel when we look at someone who is “sexy” is lust.

Finally, I think fact that so many people put such high importance on lustful “physical attraction” vs. beautiful spiritual attraction is one major reason why fornication and divorce are so common in today’s society. We confuse a lustful, chemical reaction for beauty.

But after all, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

God Bless.

I very much agree with your post, Phil. The purely physical is a shallow premise to build a life of love on.

For all time, my favourite fairytale has been Beauty and the Beast. I love the concept of a man with integrity turning into any decent woman’s ‘Prince’ as the most perfect blueprint of the best marriage. A man who can examine his own conscience and re-orient his attitude and behaviour based on that… is the most perfect man of all.

 

[GEddie]

I don’t think a relationship would survive without it.

This doesn’t mean necessarily that the two people have to feel “swept off their feet at first sight,” but it’s less likely that the attraction would form if that didn’t happen.

IMNAAHO.

ICXC NIKA

 

[BlueEyedLady]

Thanks for creating a thread that makes me feel even worse about myself. 25 women in 10 ten years and not a single one was attracted to me. Yeah I have a lot of money but I am not blessed in the looks department save my height. Catholic women are why I have been in and out of atheism my whole adult life.

1. If how women respond to you determines whether you consider yourself a catholic or an atheist, you should probably figure out whether you view Catholicism as a religion or a social club.
2. I haven’t seen many of your posts, but the few I have seen you make it a point to talk about your money several times. Yes, it is true, men who can provide a comfortable life can be very attractive. But the way you talk about it is crude, not sexy.
3. Would you really want someone who isn’t attracted to you to marry you? What would that do to your self esteem? How could you ever feel safe with your wife knowing that she only tolerates you sexually?