E
ethereality
Guest
How important is sexual pleasure in marriage? How important is normal male sexual function for women? How would you respond if your spouse were unable to experience sexual pleasure, or unable to give you sexual pleasure?
God allowed my parents to amputate a substantial portion of my penis as an infant in Mississippi. I say this rather than describe it as circumcision because apparently what American hospitals are doing routinely to male babies is not Biblical circumcision, and I wish to avoid confusion or ambiguity. What God allowed to happen to me is more like “Brit Peri’ah” than “Brit Milah” according to that webpage.
Consequently, I cannot experience sexual pleasure through manual manipulation – it is instead physically uncomfortable, or even painful, or else rather numb (like rubbing one’s outer thigh), and I cannot orgasm or ejaculate without heavy mental stimulation. While I understand that a woman would interact in a new and fuller way within the marital embrace, I am concerned both that these problems would remain even after vowing ourselves to lifelong monogamy, and about the problems I have read women encounter with such mutilated penises, namely, similar physical discomfort and pain (due to the lack of lubricant retention which the foreskin provides, and difference in stroking method as the man tries to stimulate the only parts of his penis that still have sexual nerve endings). I am also drawn more to food than to sex, given how much more pleasurable eating is. This is another concern about a potential marriage: The woman may be more interested than I in sexual pleasure.
I have seen unhappy women vent their sexual frustrations on the internet, and apparently some even resort to having affairs. I have been praying for God to heal me, and am doing my best to believe that He will, but God has not given me any confirmation of planning to heal me apart from the Bible and Church teaching, and so far, has not healed me. I am already 27, one year into a 4-year PhD program in a foreign country (after which comes a 2-year residency in the USA before an entry-level salaried health professional position in the USA, whose health care landscape is largely unknown to due Obamacare and financial recession, i.e. $105,000/yr salaries could fall), and have roughly $137,000 in American student loan debt (interest building at roughly $800/month which I’m trying to work while in school to pay off), so my situation looks to me very bleak.
I understand that marriage is about the spouses helping each other to heaven, sharing their lives, raising children, but that sex is an essential element of it, whose end is unitive as well as procreative, so it appears I cannot simply gloss over this problem and assume it’s either not important or that everything will work itself out. What are your thoughts concerning these matters?
God allowed my parents to amputate a substantial portion of my penis as an infant in Mississippi. I say this rather than describe it as circumcision because apparently what American hospitals are doing routinely to male babies is not Biblical circumcision, and I wish to avoid confusion or ambiguity. What God allowed to happen to me is more like “Brit Peri’ah” than “Brit Milah” according to that webpage.
Consequently, I cannot experience sexual pleasure through manual manipulation – it is instead physically uncomfortable, or even painful, or else rather numb (like rubbing one’s outer thigh), and I cannot orgasm or ejaculate without heavy mental stimulation. While I understand that a woman would interact in a new and fuller way within the marital embrace, I am concerned both that these problems would remain even after vowing ourselves to lifelong monogamy, and about the problems I have read women encounter with such mutilated penises, namely, similar physical discomfort and pain (due to the lack of lubricant retention which the foreskin provides, and difference in stroking method as the man tries to stimulate the only parts of his penis that still have sexual nerve endings). I am also drawn more to food than to sex, given how much more pleasurable eating is. This is another concern about a potential marriage: The woman may be more interested than I in sexual pleasure.
I have seen unhappy women vent their sexual frustrations on the internet, and apparently some even resort to having affairs. I have been praying for God to heal me, and am doing my best to believe that He will, but God has not given me any confirmation of planning to heal me apart from the Bible and Church teaching, and so far, has not healed me. I am already 27, one year into a 4-year PhD program in a foreign country (after which comes a 2-year residency in the USA before an entry-level salaried health professional position in the USA, whose health care landscape is largely unknown to due Obamacare and financial recession, i.e. $105,000/yr salaries could fall), and have roughly $137,000 in American student loan debt (interest building at roughly $800/month which I’m trying to work while in school to pay off), so my situation looks to me very bleak.
I understand that marriage is about the spouses helping each other to heaven, sharing their lives, raising children, but that sex is an essential element of it, whose end is unitive as well as procreative, so it appears I cannot simply gloss over this problem and assume it’s either not important or that everything will work itself out. What are your thoughts concerning these matters?
