How involved in your upbringing were your godparents?

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7_Sorrows

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I am in my 60’s now and I was baptized in the episcopal church at 2 years of age. I had 2 godparents - a married couple. I knew of these two people and met them a couple of times while I was growing up and they maybe gave me a confirmation gift when I was confirmed at 15 or 16 and maybe a graduation gift when I graduated a few years later, otherwise they were not a big part of my life. I knew I had godparents, but they did not really have anything to do with helping me to form my faith.

In the Catholic church are godparents more involved in the children’s life as they grow up? I am just curious. Would anyone like to share their memories of their godparents?
 
I didn’t know who mine were until I was curious and looked on my baptismal certificate when I was grown. I know a family who expected the godparents to remember all birthdays, etc. I never knew that was a godparent duty.:confused:
 
I was baptized in the Lutheran church when I was a child in the early 80’s. My godparents were a married couple that my parents had a falling out with, and stopped speaking. I don’t remember them being much involved in our religious upbringing.

I became Catholic last year. My little girl was baptized Catholic at 6 mos. old, and her Godfather is involved in her life. He sees her at Mass every week and he has attended her baptism and the party afterward, and her birthday. Her Godmother is elderly and lives in another town, so we don’t really see her. But yes, Godparents are supposed to be there to help raise a child in instruction.
 
Godparents are supposed to help with the child’s religious instruction. Mine were my uncle and aunt, who we saw frequently but I don’t recall ever hearing anything about religion from them. They must have assumed my parents were taking care of the subject.

The thing is, no one ever told me I was baptized Catholic. I attended the Episcopal church with my mother growing up, fell away, and came back to the Catholic church at the age of 50 – when I found out I was originally Catholic.
That upset me. I wish I had been told.

So I would advise any godparents to give a gift occasionally to the child, say on a saint’s day, Christmas or Easter, and talk to the child about the faith, and ask if they have any questions. Just so they know they can come to you for advice or information,
If I were choosing godparents, I would encourage them to be involved in my child’s religious life. I would discuss it when we asked them to be godparents.
I blew it with my own children – both sets of godparents are now divorced, and never see our children. It’s disappointing.
 
It’s really a cultural thing. In some Christian cultures, the godparents are expected to be very close to the child, almost as a member of the family.
 
Growing up I thought they were my aunt and uncle. You just reminded me to pray for them. Thanks

Peace
 
My parents chose friends as my Godparents. They were never involved in my life. My Godmother gave me a medal once, she’s deceased. I have run into my Godfather on occasion but he has never acknowledged as being my Godfather. I decided my children would have close family members so honored and that is what I did.
 
acadiANNA said:
My parents chose friends as my Godparents. They were never involved in my life. My Godmother gave me a medal once, she’s deceased. I have run into my Godfather on occasion but he has never acknowledged as being my Godfather. I decided my children would have close family members so honored and that is what I did.
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My Godparents were gotten by Father as my expected Godparents didn’t make it to the Church because of a snowstorm. I grew up with no contact with them. I always felt sorta “left out” cuz my siblings knew their Godparents. When I was 50 years old I went to get a copy of my Baptismal Certificate and the priest asked me about my Godmother and I said I never knew her. ( I did know my Godfather was already dead.) He gave me her phone no and said to call her as she would be delighted to hear from me. (His sister and her were long time friends) So I did and he was right, she was very happy and we met and I found out she had prayed for me all these years. Later another older friend , when she found out who my God father was she said to me, “Oh no wonder you have such a great love for Our Lady, he did too and I know he prayed for you and still is. He was a very holy. prayerful man. Fr.s right hand man for years. I have since met his son and was so happy to make that connection. I really wasn’t :left out” I found out I had two wonderful Godparents all along. I am now Godmother to many and pray every day for them all. God Bless, Memaw
 
Mine were an aunt and uncle: dad’s brother (now deceased) and my mom’s sister. I knew them, saw them fairly often, but they never played any “godparent” role after the baptism itself.
 
Thank you all for sharing your stories. I wish mine had played a biggerrole. They were an older couple and by the time I was in high school they were already in their 70’s. I felt intimidated by them somewhat as they were very wealthy and very proper. They never phoned me when I was older or came to our house.
Maybe in the hispanic culture they are more like a member of a family.
It is interesting to hear other people’s stories.
 
I understand the historical purpose of Godparents but I don’t like the emphasis on them and wish they weren’t an obligation.

I knew my Godmother and still see and hear from her every once in awhile. She had zero (name removed by moderator)ut in my faith formation and hasn’t practiced the faith in some 40 years.

My sister has never met her Godparents and probably hasn’t had any contact with them since her baptism.

We are in the same situation with our children. My oldest daughter’s Godmother is over 80 and I doubt will ever get to know her on a faith forming level.
My middle is a parish friend of ours who has since switched parishes and hasn’t returned our phone calls in a while now.

We have no choice but to name more parish friends as Godparents for our next child.

We have no family members who can be Godparents. No one practices the faith anymore…except for that 80 year old great aunt of my husband’s.

We’ve tried to name other family members who gave us the impression they were Catholic and still practiced but would back out quickly when it was discovered they needed proof they were a Catholic in good standing at whatever parish they attended.
Since no one goes to Church…it isn’t possible to find one.
 
My godparents were very involved. My godmother is my mother’s youngest sister and up to this day she is and has always been like a second mother. My godfather was my grand uncle and he was extremely involved. He for example would drive me to school every day pick me up, spend time with me, etc. And yes they had a lot of (name removed by moderator)ut in my faith formation particularly my Godfather. My mother was really a cafeteria catholic anf woukdnt go to church so yhe one whobwouldbtake me was my godfather and i woukd go to mass with him, his wifr and my grandmother. Now I am Hispanic and I think the godparents being heavily involved is a very Hispanic thing as I don’t see it between Americans. For most Hispanics - Catholics - being chosen as a Godparent is a responsibility like a second parent and they do behave like that. Even many Hispanics in the US that are Godparents take that heavily involved approach. My daughter’s godmother is also Hispanic and she is also heavily involved in her upbringing. Personally I like it too (maybe I am biased Lol) but I think is beneficial to the kid to have another set of heavily involved adults in their upbringing.
 
on_the_hill said:
Mine were an aunt and uncle: dad’s brother (now deceased) and my mom’s sister. I knew them, saw them fairly often, but they never played any “godparent” role after the baptism itself.
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Mine were two aunts and an uncle. Aunt #1 couldn’t attend the ceremony that day so Aunt #2 was my “godmother by proxy.”

In our extended family godparents gave gifts and sent cards to their godchildren and weren’t expected to do so for every niece and nephew. But they didn’t really play a direct role in my religious upbringing as my mother was able to do that.
 
7_Sorrows said:
Maybe in the hispanic culture they are more like a member of a family.
It is interesting to hear other people’s stories.
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Yes between most hispanic a Godparent is seen and expected to behave as if they are a second parent. Most people would refer to their godparents as godpapa and godmama. And the child views the godparent as an authoive figure as much as a parent. I used to say aunt and uncle because they were already family but that was uncommon.

Most people will choose a close family member because a close family member has a better likelihood to remain in the child’s life and will be more agreeable to take on the role.
Also because a Godparent is seen as an authoritative figure mist parents will look at someone within their families with similar views on the areas of discipline and child upbrininging. Sometimes people choose a friend but that is usually a very very close friend from many years with whom you have family like relationship. I choose a very good friend of mine but she is extremely close and I knew she was happy to take on the role and so far she has been great and a great support for us.

Currently I am pregnant and we are thinking about Godparents. I am inclining over one sister in law who is particularly close to my husband precisely because I want another involved godparent. She lives close by we constantly see her and hang out with her and her family, etc. So there is a good chance that she is going to be anyway heavily involved in the baby’s life 🙂
 
marymary1975 said:
Yes between most hispanic a Godparent is seen and expected to behave as if they are a second parent. Most people would refer to their godparents as godpapa and godmama. And the child views the godparent as an authoive figure as much as a parent. I used to say aunt and uncle because they were already family but that was uncommon.

Most people will choose a close family member because a close family member has a better likelihood to remain in the child’s life and will be more agreeable to take on the role.
Also because a Godparent is seen as an authoritative figure mist parents will look at someone within their families with similar views on the areas of discipline and child upbrininging. Sometimes people choose a friend but that is usually a very very close friend from many years with whom you have family like relationship. I choose a very good friend of mine but she is extremely close and I knew she was happy to take on the role and so far she has been great and a great support for us.

Currently I am pregnant and we are thinking about Godparents. I am inclining over one sister in law who is particularly close to my husband precisely because I want another involved godparent. She lives close by we constantly see her and hang out with her and her family, etc. So there is a good chance that she is going to be anyway heavily involved in the baby’s life 🙂
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Picking a Godparent that is strong in the Faith and will pray for the child is, to me, the most important roll a Godparent can play in the life of their Godchildren. People move around so much these days it is difficult to keep a close contact with them.Pray for their parents also, as sometimes it’s the parents that fall short in their responsibilities. Prayer travels everywhere!! God Bless, Memaw
 
My Godparents were a married couple, my Aunt and her husband.

He passed away quite young (49) I was about 15.

My Godmother was like a second mother, and as I got older she was a dear dear friend.

She was with my when I was baptized. I was with her when she died.

I miss her incredibly.
 
marymary1975 said:
My godparents were very involved. My godmother is my mother’s youngest sister and up to this day she is and has always been like a second mother. My godfather was my grand uncle and he was extremely involved. He for example would drive me to school every day pick me up, spend time with me, etc. And yes they had a lot of (name removed by moderator)ut in my faith formation particularly my Godfather. My mother was really a cafeteria catholic anf woukdnt go to church so yhe one whobwouldbtake me was my godfather and i woukd go to mass with him, his wifr and my grandmother. Now I am Hispanic and I think the godparents being heavily involved is a very Hispanic thing as I don’t see it between Americans. For most Hispanics - Catholics - being chosen as a Godparent is a responsibility like a second parent and they do behave like that. Even many Hispanics in the US that are Godparents take that heavily involved approach. My daughter’s godmother is also Hispanic and she is also heavily involved in her upbringing. Personally I like it too (maybe I am biased Lol) but I think is beneficial to the kid to have another set of heavily involved adults in their upbringing.
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I would say you were very lucky!!
 
My godparents were close relatives so I did see them from time to time, but they really had nothing to do with my religious upbringing other than attending special events like first communion and confirmation. They would have done that anyway.
 
Not at all. They are now divorced after my godfather cheated on my godmother.
 
Mary_Gail_36 said:
My Godparents were a married couple, my Aunt and her husband.

He passed away quite young (49) I was about 15.

My Godmother was like a second mother, and as I got older she was a dear dear friend.

She was with my when I was baptized. I was with her when she died.

I miss her incredibly.
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Mine were also my aunt and her husband. My mother’s youngest sister. She was the one responsible for me even being baptized. They divorced when I was 9. But my aunt remained a vital part of my life until she developed early onset Alzheimer’s and died shortly after at age 54. My sister’s godparents were 2nd cousins, they moved out of the country when she was 6. She did not see them again until she was a teenager, by then the godparents were no longer Catholic.
 
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