How is homosexuality a choice?

[Zmurf]

Homosexuality, SSA, being a Lesbian what ever you want to call it- I got it. I didn’t choose it. I knew I was “different” at a very young age. kindergarten or before. No I had no idea of the sexual implications. I just knew one day I’d grow up to be “mommy and mommy” and not mommy and daddy. And I knew that I had better not say anything about it.And I didn’t until I was 15 yrs,. old.

It was a living HELL. I was shunned by friends, disappointed my parents, dissappointed by my parents, ostracized and intimidated at school. I tried to “be straight " it didn’t work.
I “came out” because that was the thing to do. That was the only option presented to me.The catechesis I received was poor on this subject. It went something like this"homosexuality is an abomination to God. Fags are going to hell.”

Well that sort of catholicism- I wanted no part of. No one inside or outside of the church(at that time) told me there was another beautiful option:

I could accept that for whatever reason,- and the reason isn’t so important to me- I have this “disordered” orientation, and I can pick up my cross and carry it for the Lord. And I joyfully do so now. I have asked the Lord to remove this “thorn from my side” but as of yet, it seems He prefers that I remain as I am and that I continue to offer back to Him the gift of my sexual self-- that part of me that longs to be intimately united to another.

I join that part of me that suffers-and so little in comparison to His suffering- to His on the cross. When I think it’s unfair that I’ll never again hold anyone as I once did, I can’t help but think He must have longed to be held and to feel that He was special to someone.

I freely not only accept, but embrace the Church’s teaching and in doing so I am able to embrace my Dear Jesus crucified in a way I would not other wise be able to. And in that scense, being Gay, lesbian or someone with SSA is a gift.

I didn’t choose it, but I do have a choice in what I do about it.

Please pray for me and the many others returning home.-Freely and joyfully.

“Thank you Good Shepherd for screaming continuously until I finally heard Your voice.”

Tears welled in my eyes as I read your post, raaucoin. I think (this is just my opinion), that perhaps among the brightest stars in heaven are those who were afflicted with SSA, but who triumphed and carried their cross after the Lord, persevering to the end, overcoming the obstacles.

But I also think that God does desire to heal us. It may be the case that we may not be afflicted for all of our earthly life.

 

[HauntedJame]

Homosexuals are born that way. I am born that way. My parents suspected when I was quite young. I have a brother a year older than me, and he is straight. I think that when people say it is a choice, it shows their ignorance. I couldn’t become straight anymore than I could become black.

Not that I’d want to become straight. I’ve come a long way since I was a teenager, scared of Hell and my own sexuality.

 

[havana1]

From a health standpoint, homosexuals are much more likely to have STDs than heterosexuals. For example, a homosexual male is 44 times more likely to have HIV/AIDS than a heterosexual male.

What about homosexual females? Why do lesbians have the lowest rates of STI’s? What’s their likelihood? (And incidentally: whereas HIV/AIDS is pretty much final, most infections can easily be treated with antibiotics - I noticed you lumped the two together, which in the interest of charity I will presume was simply an oversight.)

 

[GraceDK]

Homosexuality, SSA, being a Lesbian what ever you want to call it- I got it. I didn’t choose it. I knew I was “different” at a very young age. kindergarten or before. No I had no idea of the sexual implications. I just knew one day I’d grow up to be “mommy and mommy” and not mommy and daddy. And I knew that I had better not say anything about it.And I didn’t until I was 15 yrs,. old.

(…)

I freely not only accept, but embrace the Church’s teaching and in doing so I am able to embrace my Dear Jesus crucified in a way I would not other wise be able to. And in that scense, being Gay, lesbian or someone with SSA is a gift.

I didn’t choose it, but I do have a choice in what I do about it.

Please pray for me and the many others returning home.-Freely and joyfully.

“Thank you Good Shepherd for screaming continuously until I finally heard Your voice.”

I am also deeply moved. God bless you dear sister. You are a role model for everyone of us whatever sexual orientation…

 

[zielwolf]

Your sexual orientation is not a choice. For it to be chosen does not add up. It is sad that you think you are condemned to hell. Obviously if you feel this way then if you could choose to be heterosexual you would do so.

For all the declarations and marches of Gay Pride, many homosexual people feel miserable about their sexuality, and not surprisingly, it’s hardly a lot of fun to be homosexual in this our society which loves to judge and condemn and discriminate against others and make them feel excluded.

But that was never Jesus’ message remember - When asked by the Pharisees why he was hanging out with prostitutes and tax collectors and other “undesirables”, He answered that He came to minister to and save the sick and the needy, not to save the righteous. (I think there He may have been sarcastically implying" not to save the self-righteous" actually, something for which the Pharisees were infamous apparently.)

What is your choice as a Christian though is how you choose to deal with and act on it. We live in an imperfect world, a world corrupted by sin. We see that all around us every day - not only in the evil actions of humans but the Bible says that the whole of creation waits to be liberated from decay and groans and cries out (Romans 8:21-22).

In that sense all sickness and suffering and unwholesomeness is a manifestation of original sin that has affected the whole of creation since the first sin, and in that sense Christ came to redeem not just humans from their sins but the whole of God’s creation - animate and inanimate - from the natural consequences of sin.

I believe homosexuality has nothing to do with what God thinks of you as a person, just like God doesn’t afflict an innocent child with multiple sclerosis or cancer. God loves you just as much as He loves anyone else - more than you will ever understand.

Natural imperfections, such as homosexuality, are actually “creation groaning to be delivered” from the consequences of original sin.

Homosexuality is not a matter of personal choice. Neither is it God’s ideal plan for your life. On the other hand it does not have to be a prison either, it is not automatic damnation.

You can’t choose whether to be gay or not, but what you can choose is how you deal with it and how you act upon your orientation. You can give up and consider yourself damned and abandon God, or on the other hand; you can offer your sexuality as a sacrifice to God - give it up to God in a life of celibacy and faithfulness to Him. Give your heart to Christ and trust that He will deliver you and you will find yourself on the path to freedom and joy.

That’s what He has promised us and He is always faithful to deliver on His promises.

 

[Carlan]

.

Homosexuality is not a matter of personal choice. Neither is it God’s ideal plan for your life. On the other hand it does not have to be a prison either, it is not automatic damnation.

You can’t choose whether to be gay or not, but what you can choose is how you deal with it and how you act upon your orientation. You can give up and consider yourself damned and abandon God, or on the other hand; you can offer your sexuality as a sacrifice to God - give it up to God in a life of celibacy and faithfulness to Him. Give your heart to Christ and trust that He will deliver you and you will find yourself on the path to freedom and joy.

That’s what He has promised us and He is always faithful to deliver on His promises.

Yes, we are all called to follow the Doctrine of the Cross, through it we will reach the perfection we were created for. Life everlasting with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Thanks be to God, Peace, Carlan

 

[edwest2]

Once again, the Church has never taught that a person with Same Sex Attraction is going to hell. Heterosexuals are in danger of going to hell if they have sex outside of marriage or sex with someone other than their wife. What the issue here is, according to the Catholic Medical Association, people are not born this way. And even if they believe they are born this way, they have the option of self-control.

We live in a Media Created Society that constantly encourages sexual activity. This was not always so. There was a time when the radio only played songs about love and devotion.

Movies show couples living together and having sex.
TV shows show very attractive people playing highly paid professionals who have ‘just sex,’ a brief, meaningless physical contact.
A young doctor is shown picking up a man at a bar for anonymous, no questions asked sex, in an age of AIDS.
Magazines run classified ads for those looking for sexual experiences.
A local Detroit newspaper runs classified ads for those looking for single or extramarital sexual encounters.
A Detroit newspaper columnist advised a man trapped in a loveless/sexless marriage to find sex elsewhere.
Constant ads for viagra in emails and on TV.

The choice for heterosexuals and homosexuals is self-control. Period. Do not believe the Media Created falsehood that even though we are intelligent, we cannot control our sexuality. This is false. This should not be the center of our lives. God can help each one of us with this.

God bless,
Ed

 

[Carlan]

Once again, the Church has never taught that a person with Same Sex Attraction is going to hell. Heterosexuals are in danger of going to hell if they have sex outside of marriage or sex with someone other than their wife. What the issue here is, according to the Catholic Medical Association, people are not born this way. And even if they believe they are born this way, they have the option of self-control.

We live in a Media Created Society that constantly encourages sexual activity. This was not always so. There was a time when the radio only played songs about love and devotion.

Movies show couples living together and having sex.
TV shows show very attractive people playing highly paid professionals who have ‘just sex,’ a brief, meaningless physical contact.
A young doctor is shown picking up a man at a bar for anonymous, no questions asked sex, in an age of AIDS.
Magazines run classified ads for those looking for sexual experiences.
A local Detroit newspaper runs classified ads for those looking for single or extramarital sexual encounters.
A Detroit newspaper columnist advised a man trapped in a loveless/sexless marriage to find sex elsewhere.
Constant ads for viagra in emails and on TV.

The choice for heterosexuals and homosexuals is self-control. Period. Do not believe the Media Created falsehood that even though we are intelligent, we cannot control our sexuality. This is false. This should not be the center of our lives. God can help each one of us with this.

God blessEd

What you are say in your post is the truth, and God can give us the grace of self control and perseverance, it is our choice though, we must say no to the sin of the world,Peace, Carlan.

 

[Draggar]

Thank you so much, everyone. =) I will definitely be thinking all of this over.

That’s all I really want to say now. But really, thank you all.

 

[Kolbe300]

Homosexuality, SSA, being a Lesbian what ever you want to call it- I got it. I didn’t choose it. I knew I was “different” at a very young age. kindergarten or before. No I had no idea of the sexual implications. I just knew one day I’d grow up to be “mommy and mommy” and not mommy and daddy. And I knew that I had better not say anything about it.And I didn’t until I was 15 yrs,. old.

It was a living HELL. I was shunned by friends, disappointed my parents, dissappointed by my parents, ostracized and intimidated at school. I tried to “be straight " it didn’t work.
I “came out” because that was the thing to do. That was the only option presented to me.The catechesis I received was poor on this subject. It went something like this"homosexuality is an abomination to God. Fags are going to hell.”

Well that sort of catholicism- I wanted no part of. No one inside or outside of the church(at that time) told me there was another beautiful option:

I could accept that for whatever reason,- and the reason isn’t so important to me- I have this “disordered” orientation, and I can pick up my cross and carry it for the Lord. And I joyfully do so now. I have asked the Lord to remove this “thorn from my side” but as of yet, it seems He prefers that I remain as I am and that I continue to offer back to Him the gift of my sexual self-- that part of me that longs to be intimately united to another.

I join that part of me that suffers-and so little in comparison to His suffering- to His on the cross. When I think it’s unfair that I’ll never again hold anyone as I once did, I can’t help but think He must have longed to be held and to feel that He was special to someone.

I freely not only accept, but embrace the Church’s teaching and in doing so I am able to embrace my Dear Jesus crucified in a way I would not other wise be able to. And in that scense, being Gay, lesbian or someone with SSA is a gift.

I didn’t choose it, but I do have a choice in what I do about it.

Please pray for me and the many others returning home.-Freely and joyfully.

“Thank you Good Shepherd for screaming continuously until I finally heard Your voice.”

This is, beyond the shadow of a doubt, the best post I’ve ever read on this forum. My prayers are with you. As someone who travels the same often times lonely road, it’s so nice to know I am not alone. Thank you for your words and your widsom.

 

[raaucoin]

No, Kolbe300- you are not alone. And in spite of what the world wants to believe, there are many many more of us who either have never acted on homosexuality or who have and have/ are hearing the voice of the Good Shepherd.

We all know He would leave the flock in search of the one. But he is also leaving the flock to come after us the “10%”.

Stay close to His Passion and be brought into His Ressurection! I keep you in my prayers.

 

[MariaTS]

Put it this way - I’m unmarried and heterosexual. My heterosexuality (feelings of sexual attraction for persons of the opposite gender) is not a problem per se - it is largely out of my control.

If I act it out, however - indulge in inordinate lustful thoughts or sexual activity without benefit of marriage - then my behaviour would indeed be a problem and a sin. Rightly so, because the dwelling on inappropriate thoughts, the inappropriate sexual activity, is indeed a choice.

So, allow “queers” to marry, then we don’t have to worry about lustful thoughts or sexual activity without benefit of marriage, it’s that simple. The reason for this statement is that if I can marry the person that I love then I won’t have to worry about having sexual activity with them outside of marriage.

 

[James_Kevany]

From"I Do not have a name yet" The printing of the Catechism printed 1994 from the original Latin 2358 states “they do not choose their homosexual condition: for most of them it is a trial”. Foe some unknown reason this phrase is left out of printings after that date. A person can go to the Vatican library and look up the original latin and translations are easy enough to aquire. So it is not a choice according to the Catholic Church.

 

[mitex]

SSA and a homosexual orientation are not a choice, and your own Church recognizes that, anyone who doesn’t is just out of it.

 

[Matilda_Bennett]

This thread has been dormant for a considerable period. With rare exceptions, reviving threads after a protracted period of inactivity is discouraged because:

the issues that spurred them are often no longer "hot" or current topics, explaining why thread activity ceased originally.
posters originally involved in the discussion are sometimes no longer active on the forum and, therefore, unavailable to reply to comments added to the thread.

Our experience suggests that, when a topic merits revival, it is best accomplished by initiating a new thread that draws on recent events and can be posted to contemporaneously. This eliminates the baggage of folks being frustrated by asking and not receiving responses to issues raised in early posts (because the new poster didn’t notice that the post he was responding to was made a long time ago).

Posters are very welcome to open a new thread on the subject or any other topic, as well as to actively participate in the myriad active threads in the fora.

Thank you to all those who have participated in this discussion. This thread is now closed.