How long did it take to conceive?

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Vivienne

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How long did it take for you to conceive your first child,
from the moment you first “tried” until conception?

My husband and I have been married for over a year and have been open to life almost that entire time (except for abstaining during the fertile times for three to four months for various reasons) but we have not conceived a child.

We know that God knows what He is doing and we trust Him and His timing, but I know that it would be encouraging for me to hear other people’s struggles with times like these. We are definately learning patience.
 
We went throught the lets see time, then we spent 18 months on focusing on trying to conceive. We discovered I have a Unicordite (sp?) Uterus (ie. !/2 the normal size) and one tube was blocked. So my chances were dropped to 1/2 that of a “normal” woman. I also had some endomeitriosis, which was cleared up with a laser during the laproscopy that discovered the uterine defect. The doctors were getting ready to start me on some fertility drugs, but wanted to get a test run on my husband first. My husband is in the military, so we were awaitting permission to have the test run when I missed my cycle.

So overal it too about 3 years to conceive and have our first child, about two years later than we wanted but it did happen. It was also about 2 1/2 months following the proceedure than cleared up the endometreiosis, this is a pretty normal time to get prego following this proceedure.

Pray and ask Mary to interceed on your behalf! If you are suspecting problems, please get checked it is better to be safe than sorry. My cousin waited 2-3 years before being checked only to discover she had stage 3b cancer of the uterus which spread to colon and ovaries. I am not trying to scare you, but our inquiries lead to the discovery of my uterine dificiency. It could be nothing and the doctor could help you with other information too.
 
Vivienne,

My husband and I were trying for one year before we conceived our baby. We had been contracepting the first 5 years of our marriage until I started listening to Catholic radio and realized that what we were doing was wrong. We took an NFP class (sympto-thermal) and gradually trusted that method enough to use it not to conceive. Then last April, we decided to start trying to conceive. I don’t know why… but I thought that it would happen right away! I was devastated every month when AF came. My family thought that I was crazy for expecting to get pregnant right away and I thought that they were crazy for thinking that it could take a year or more to get pregnant.

After six months of trying I decided to talk with my OB/GYN doc about it. He just brushed me off saying that “if 100 couples checked into a hotel where they couldn’t leave until they conceived, it would take a year before 80 of them were checked out”. That was of little consolation to me. That was fine for other couples, but this was ME we were talking about here!

I had heard of a Dr. in Omaha that dealt with the issue of infertility, yet did it all while following what the Catholic Church teaches about fertility and women’s health. I called his office and found a person locally (I am in the Chicago area) that taught his method of NFP. It is based on the Billings method. I had to chart using his method for 2 cycles before the Dr would review my charts.

So I charted, and it seemed like an eternity, but after 2 months he reviewed my charts and found that I may have some hormonal deficiencies or anomalies. He recommended a serial blood test, which was a series of blood draws over the course of one cycle. I was able to do this long distance through a lab here in Chicago then at the end of the cycle we sent all of the samples to his lab in Omaha. He found that my hormone levels were flip-flopped. When my estrogen should be high it is low, and when my progesterone should be high it is low. I also have a depressed thyroid and some other more minor hormonal anomalies.

Anyway, this was back in January. The Dr recommended that I come down to Omaha in May for several tests and surgery. He suspected that I had Poly Cystic Ovarian Disease, but that can’t be completely diagnosed unless he physically saw my ovaries. We ended up conceiving in March, so thankfully I didn’t need surgery! Also, because my progesterone level was so low the Dr put me on progesterone injections to ensure that the baby would stay. Low progesterone is often associated with high rates of miscarriage.

I don’t know why it took so long for us to conceive, but looking back I see so much spiritual growth in me and my husband. We really dove into our faith and became resolute to accept what God indended for our lives. We started studying the Theology of the Body and became more active in our parish. I know these things would not have happened had we conceived right away. I am not saying that our situation applies to you, but this is what we needed to go through to get to where we are right now.

Ok… this is getting quite long, so I should get to the point.

Know that you aren’t alone. I know for me that didn’t help, because it was fine if all of those other people were trying, but I wanted a baby!! Secondly, don’t feel like your crazy for wondering if something wrong or just wondering why you aren’t conceiving. I was so sick of hearing people say… you’ve only been trying X amount of time… that’s nothing!! Then they’d laugh and I wanted to injure them :o) Third, here is the name and # of the Dr. that I worked with Dr. Thomas Hilgers, Pope Paul VI Institute (402)390-6600. He and his nurses are just outstanding human beings. You may want to contact him just to ease your fears.

Please hang in there. I will be praying for you, and I will offer up mass for you when I go on Thursday.

Sorry this is so long!

Jennifer
 
with our first child it took 4 months, we were open to life but not actually “trying”

with our second child we were “trying” and it took 3 months

I conceived again after our second child with just one try during one month and miscarried.

After that miscarriage I got pregnant the first month we started trying again.

I miscarried again and was not even sure how long I had been pregnant, not very, maybe a week if that.

our last child we conceived the same month we decided we would “try”

I was blessed with good fertility, my sister on the other hand, tried for almost two years and then got pregnant with her first child, they did not need fertility treatments but her husband was told to swith from briefs to boxers 😃 They got prego 2 months later, so who knows about that one 🙂

With my sisters second pregnancy it took five months and five months with her third also.

My mom said with her first child it took almost 2 years and they were “trying”

Don’t give up hope 👍
 
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Vivienne:
How long did it take for you to conceive your first child,
from the moment you first “tried” until conception?

My husband and I have been married for over a year and have been open to life almost that entire time (except for abstaining during the fertile times for three to four months for various reasons) but we have not conceived a child.

We know that God knows what He is doing and we trust Him and His timing, but I know that it would be encouraging for me to hear other people’s struggles with times like these. We are definately learning patience.
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Wasn’t a practicing Catholic with first baby…was using ABC and got pregnant on the pill in 1993 after being married for a little over one year. I delivered her prematurely in mid May of 1994, she was due at the end of July.

Second time around was a different story. I stopped using ABC and hubby and I wanted to have another child after daughter turned 2. Couldn’t get pregnant for 5 years even with infertility treatments. We stopped all treatments when the only other option (that we were told) was artificial insemination. We said no way…too much with interfering with God’s work IMO. We resolved ourselves to the fact that we probably wouldn’t have more children even though physically we should be able to. We bought a small 2 bedroom house and moved in Dec. 2000. In March 2001 I found out I was pregnant with baby number 2. Even my doctor was so thrilled after all the years of being on infertility treatments that we didn’t need her help, she called me from her home when she got the news about the new baby.

Being happy with our new daughter who was born in October 2001, we were satisfied that we had our family. We still didn’t use ABC after this baby.

After having many female problems in 2003 and skipping 2 periods but having 4 negative pregnancy tests, I was ready to go back to the docs to see what could be wrong. Deciding after one more week of waiting for my cycle to begin to try one more test. It came up positive. We were shocked, we weren’t trying to get pregnant, but we weren’t completely avoiding it either. I went for blood work the next day and it confirmed but I was only about 4 to 5 weeks pregnant. We nervously went through the next few weeks and all went well. I delivered my son in Feb. 2004.

We entered the RCC as a family (hubby and me were confirmed, all 3 kids were baptized) at Easter Vigil, April 10th, 2004. I was still not using ABC, and was considering NFP. Since I was breastfeeding I knew there was a very slim chance of pregnancy right away.

I got pregnant with baby number 4 one month after I stopped breastfeeding my son. I never got a chance to go to the NFP classes offered at the Catholic hospital in the town next to us. Now I’m due in October. I will DEFINITELY be going to NFP classes either before or soon after baby comes.

So if you leave it in God’s hands, it will happen in His time and according to His will.

God bless and may you be blessed!
 
I have PCOS, I stopped taking BCPs when I decided to convert to Catholicism last May. We also started “Trying” last June, so here we are a year later…I’ve had 3 periods, and we’re going to see about a referral to the fertility clinic at Walter Reed. My husband is in the military so we have certain roads we have to follow there. Our RCIA coordinator is helping us find a Priest with a background in Medical Ethics to be our Spiritual Director and to help us stay faithful to Catholic teaching.

The past few days I’ve noticed more pain from cysts than normal and I’ve been very emotional. I don’t know if that might be a sign that our prayers are working or if it is just normal things my body does…hopefully its an answer to our prayers.

Jamie
 
My husband and I were married May 31 and found out we were pregnant with baby #1 on July 28, so only a month and a half of being married before I got pregnant.

After our son was born I didn’t have any periods for 7 months (yeay for ecological breastfeeding!), then had anovulatory periods for a few cycles. I think I had only had maybe 4 regular cycles before we got pregnant with baby #2, due in February. We weren’t trying, but we weren’t avoiding either.

We generally take a “whatever happens is God’s will” approach to this sort of thing. So far it is working.
 
Viv,

Remember that there is only a 12-24 hour window per month (women with regular monthly cycles) in which the egg is susceptible for fertilization.

I have had five pregnancies. All of which, except one, happened fairly quickly. The one that took a while, (a year and a half), was the one that we actually “tried” for.

As soon as I stopped “trying”, and took on the “what ever happens, happens” attitude, I got pregnant.🙂

I think that sometimes we can try too hard, which in turn can put undo stress on our bodies. This can and may prolong conceiving.
We generally take a “whatever happens is God’s will” approach to this sort of thing. So far it is working
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Good Luck:) The above quote is really good advice.
 
We’ve been married two years. We started actively trying (using NFP to determine fertile times) a year ago. For the past few months we’ve just been in “whatever happens, happens” mode because it became too painful to time everything perfectly, play the waiting game, and then watch my temps drop every month and know that my period would start later that day. I suspect that I had an early miscarriage a couple of months ago (based on symptoms) but the early test came out negative and I was too chicken to take another one, lest it also come out negative.

Now that we’re at the 1-year mark, fertility specialists will be willing to meet with us. I have no idea what could be wrong- we’re both healthy and I have normal cycles with no symptoms of endometriosis. Maybe I have a blocked tube, who knows. Or maybe it’s just not our time, or maybe we’re meant to adopt and give needy children a home (an idea with which I am more and more okay each day). Maybe God wants us to get through grad school and save up money for adoptions, who knows.

All I know is that I am not alone. For every woman who talks about how easily she gets pregnant, I meet another who has been trying for at least a year. It took my parents two years to conceive me, and they never had another. My neighbors were just about to start the first round of clomid when they found out that they were finally pregnant with their second child. My great-grandparents had been trying for so long that they were ready to start adopting children when they conceived great-uncle Orville. They went on to have 5 more children after him.
 
My husband and I have been married for six months. We were using NFP initially, primarily because of a medical condition (doctor’s orders), and also because we’re both in school. About month ago, the medical condition was resolved, so we began talking more seriously about babies. We were unsure of whether we wanted to get pregnant while we were both still in school. We prayed about it and talked about it and decided to continue to use NFP to avoid pregnancy for the next 3 months, so that the baby would be born in May or June after I graduated. When it came down to it though, we decided to “bend the rules” a little, and take what we thought was a pretty low chance of conceiving. I guess God had plans for us, because I’m now 5 weeks pregnant, with our first baby due in February! So we sort of became pregnant without really trying.

We’re a little scared of how family and friends will handle this. I’m more afraid than my husband, I think. I’m worried people will judge me, thinking I’m pregnant too young, etc. I’ve already had people tell me I threw my life away by getting married so young. I guess what I have to do is keep praying, and trust in God’s timing.

So, I realize this is sort of the opposite problem from what you are facing, but I think when it comes down to it we have more in common than you might at first believe. We both just have to ultimately trust in God to plan our families! I’ll be praying for you!
 
9 months. 2 months for #2 (on the way).

Only one year? Don’t start looking into adoption agencies just yet 😃 . I think they say to try for 3 years before you start to worry. At least that’s what I’ve heard. The best thing you can do is just relax about it all. That’s what we did after 9 months of trying. We just threw our hands up and said, “Okay. If it happens, it happens.” Then…it happened.
 
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MelissaMarie:
We’re a little scared of how family and friends will handle this. I’m more afraid than my husband, I think. I’m worried people will judge me, thinking I’m pregnant too young, etc. I’ve already had people tell me I threw my life away by getting married so young. I guess what I have to do is keep praying, and trust in God’s timing.
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MelissaMarie,

People told me that too. I married at 19 and had my first when I was 21. But marriage and family was what I wanted my life to be! So I was not throwing anything away, I was doing my life’s work. My first is off to college this year!

People talk about choice, but they seem to thing only their choice is valid. What is the point of options if everyone is still expected to do the same thing. I think it is great that options are available to all. I took the marriage/motherhood option, and I am sooo glad I did.

cheddar
 
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MelissaMarie:
We’re a little scared of how family and friends will handle this. I’m more afraid than my husband, I think. I’m worried people will judge me, thinking I’m pregnant too young, etc. I’ve already had people tell me I threw my life away by getting married so young. I guess what I have to do is keep praying, and trust in God’s timing.
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MelissaMarie,

My husband was 20 and I was 21 when we got married. We have been married for ten years now, and have four wonderful children.

IMO, I think people wait too long now days to get married and start a family.

I’ve also read statistics that revealed that fertility drops dramatically after the age of 25 in women. I had my four kids by the time I was 28.

You did not throw your life away. There are benefits in growing older with your husband starting at a younger age. Lifes lessons are learned together, which can bring you closer and have a more meaningful, richer, marriage.

You become set in your ways together, instead of apart.

Keep trusting in God.

Jennie
 
MelissaMarie,

I was 21 when I got married and my husband was 28. We got pregnant right away, and I still had a semester of school left. I was 5 months pregnant when I finished school, but I finished. I have my degree, even though I may never use it.

When we decided to get married I had a friend who refused to come to our wedding even though she lived 10 minutes away because she thought I was wasting my life. When I told her I was pregnant she said “do you think that’s a good idea?” It broke my heart. Here I was, a married woman whose greatest desire had been to start a family, and we had been blessed with a baby! I was going to finish school and then stay at home with my little one, which is all I had ever wanted to do with my life.

However, according to this person:
  • I don’t bring in a paycheck, so my life is a waste.
  • I worship my child because I love him and love to be at home with him.
  • I am a child-abuser because I want to homeschool.
  • I am brainless (even though she has said I am one of the most intelligent women she has ever met) and stupid because I am a married woman with a family.
  • I wasted my intelligence by choosing to stay home.
  • I am depriving society by staying home and having children.
  • My husband is a chauvenist (I majored in biology, not english!) because he is “forcing” me to stay home and has made me into a “baby-machine”
  • Etc.
I pray for this person a lot. To her and all people like her, I present this reality:
  • I am contributing to society by raising up moral people to fight for what is right in the next generation.
  • My intelligence is well-used and even more developed because I am teaching my children everything, from how to nurse to how to make the right decision.
  • I went to school because God gave me an intellect that I was to be a good steward of. I had the opportunity and the financial ability to go to school and not acru any debt. It was my reponsibility to develop my mind. Also, my degree will help me should anything happen to my husband or his job.
  • I have the hardest and most rewarding job in the world. I work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I get no financial pay, few breaks, and no holidays.
  • It is my choice to do what I want in my life, as long as it is according to God’s will. I choose to stay at home.
I sometimes think about what it will be like in 10, 20, 30 or more years. I will be surrounded by my children and grandchildren, all successful and loving because I have put the time and effort into raising them myself. My friend will be forced to retire, a bitter old woman, and alone. My children will be gentle and kind to her. Perhaps one of my children will be the nurse or doctor who attends to her in the nursing home. Maybe one of my children or grandchildren will bring her some joy in her otherwise dismal, lonely life.

Who knows?

Don’t let other people bring you down. Discern God’s will for your life and your marriage and then go for that; pray for the people who persecute you. You will only be happy doing God’s will.
 
First baby - I was pregnant the first month of trying.

Second baby - took 7 months.

Also my :twocents: : It’s never too early to start a family. I’ve always felt it was God’s call for me to be a mother - however, I didn’t meet DH until I was 31. So, I had to wait. And, BTW, it’s a darn good thing I didn’t marry and start a family with my boyfriend when I was 20. :bigyikes:
 
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kristacecilia:
MelissaMarie,

I was 21 when I got married and my husband was 28. We got pregnant right away, and I still had a semester of school left. I was 5 months pregnant when I finished school, but I finished. I have my degree, even though I may never use it.

When we decided to get married I had a friend who refused to come to our wedding even though she lived 10 minutes away because she thought I was wasting my life. When I told her I was pregnant she said “do you think that’s a good idea?” It broke my heart. Here I was, a married woman whose greatest desire had been to start a family, and we had been blessed with a baby! I was going to finish school and then stay at home with my little one, which is all I had ever wanted to do with my life.

However, according to this person:
  • I don’t bring in a paycheck, so my life is a waste.
  • I worship my child because I love him and love to be at home with him.
  • I am a child-abuser because I want to homeschool.
  • I am brainless (even though she has said I am one of the most intelligent women she has ever met) and stupid because I am a married woman with a family.
  • I wasted my intelligence by choosing to stay home.
  • I am depriving society by staying home and having children.
  • My husband is a chauvenist (I majored in biology, not english!) because he is “forcing” me to stay home and has made me into a “baby-machine”
  • Etc.
I pray for this person a lot. To her and all people like her, I present this reality:
  • I am contributing to society by raising up moral people to fight for what is right in the next generation.
  • My intelligence is well-used and even more developed because I am teaching my children everything, from how to nurse to how to make the right decision.
  • I went to school because God gave me an intellect that I was to be a good steward of. I had the opportunity and the financial ability to go to school and not acru any debt. It was my reponsibility to develop my mind. Also, my degree will help me should anything happen to my husband or his job.
  • I have the hardest and most rewarding job in the world. I work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I get no financial pay, few breaks, and no holidays.
  • It is my choice to do what I want in my life, as long as it is according to God’s will. I choose to stay at home.
I sometimes think about what it will be like in 10, 20, 30 or more years. I will be surrounded by my children and grandchildren, all successful and loving because I have put the time and effort into raising them myself. My friend will be forced to retire, a bitter old woman, and alone. My children will be gentle and kind to her. Perhaps one of my children will be the nurse or doctor who attends to her in the nursing home. Maybe one of my children or grandchildren will bring her some joy in her otherwise dismal, lonely life.

Who knows?

Don’t let other people bring you down. Discern God’s will for your life and your marriage and then go for that; pray for the people who persecute you. You will only be happy doing God’s will.
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God Bless You!!! You are a huge success in my book! 👍
 
16 years to conceive…had been with my husband since 1982, never used birth control and figured if we were supposed to have children, we would…we had our only child in May 1998. At least He didn’t make us wait until we were in our 70s.

Penitent
 
Got baby #1 the first month we tried, which surprised me because of my age (35). Found out I was pregnant the day we had been married 6 months. Baby #2 took 2 months and we found out on Father’s Day.

We used NFP to achieve pregnancy, and it obviously worked very well.
 
Penitent said:
16 years to conceive…had been with my husband since 1982, never used birth control and figured if we were supposed to have children, we would…we had our only child in May 1998. At least He didn’t make us wait until we were in our 70s.

Penitent
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Wow!! This is so inspirational to me and others who have been married a long time without conceiving (18 years for us). We have 3 children through adoption. We would love more, but the financial and emotional strain of adopting (we had 4 failed adoptions–one in which we had a little baby boy for 4 days and then had to surrender him) is just not something we can handle right now. We pray that God blesses us with more children(through adoption or through conception)—you’ve given me a little ray of hope:)
 
The joke around us is if my husband looks at me we get pregnant. We have 5 beautiful children and will be celebrating our 8th anaversary in june21. ages 6 1/2 and under. The last baby now 4 mo was the only one we were trying for. 😃
 
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