How long did it take to conceive?

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My husband and I wanted children from minute one. We have been married now for 19 months and no baby. We started getting a little worried at the one year mark, so my doctor started doing tests. He is fine and normal, I am fine and normal, expect that my ovulation and my hormones were not happening at the same time (ovulation at day 17 and hormones at day 12…if they don’t happen together, you can never have children). My doctor did a test to figure this out and immediately put me on a drug to help regulate it, which it did (I use a fertility monitor). However, I can only stay on the drug for three months and this it the third month… no baby. So, back to the drawing board. More tests I suppose.

I too get very emotional. My husband worries about me and I have gain SEVERAL pounds because I am an emotional eatter. However, I still am thankful everyday and know that God will take care of it and when He is ready for me to have them, I will. But each month I don’t…it sucks!
 
Wow, this has has been encouraging! I used to think it was so simple to get pregnant (have sex, duh) but I see that it is more complicated than that. Each one of us has to struggle with something different (adoption complications, miscarriages, PCOS, infertility, unsupportive family, birthing difficulties, unplanned pregnancies,etc…) and hopefully we are able to receive God’s grace and glorify Him through all of it.

I know that children are a gift from God and I can’t let the gift (or the idea of the gift) ever become more important that the Giver.

I used to judge a lot, and the Lord sure has humbled me - I used to split everyone into one of two categories - those faithful to Christ and His church and those not - and I would sort them by the number of children they had. Over three meant they were faithful; two and under meant they were selfish and probably contracepting.

I see how wrong I was.

I know that many women with lots of children are often persecuted for it - with the rude comments and rude looks. I never thought about the silent sufferings endured by all of the women struggling with miscarriages, and infertility, etc…

What I will do now is:
-Thank God for gving me this small suffering to unite with Jesus’ sufferering.
-Live with expectant faith and trust.
-Keep “trying” and not worry about it.

I know now that I don’t need a baby to know that I am blessed.

sorry about the randomness of this post
-Viv
 
Well, the “joke” around my house…my hubby says…“I can sneeze on your panties and you get pregnant”…which is almost true!

Anyway - married 8 years this fall…5 pregnancies total which include 2 miscarriages and “currently” 8 months pregnant.

I have always had a soft spot in my heart for women who can not conceive or have a hard time conceiving…but just in general talking to folks with this problem…once they “forget” about the problem…here comes baby!

Relax - drink wine - go on vacation (I have conceived three times on vacation HA!)
 
It took me 2 months to get pregnant the first time, but then I had a miscarriage and then 6 months of trying with no success…this will be the 7th month.

All I can say is that it isn’t God’s will. The first time, I prayed for a daughter, and a week later I was pregnant with my baby girl.

This time, I can only pray that God’s will be done. I want to have babies, but I don’t want it to be during a time where there is a lot of stress in our lives. And even though we are trying, I still haven’t gotten pregnant, so I feel it is just not God’s will right now.

But if you really want a baby with all your heart, pray for one. If it is God’s will, he will answer you. I truly believe that.
 
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Vivienne:
Wow, this has has been encouraging! I used to think it was so simple to get pregnant (have sex, duh) but I see that it is more complicated than that. Each one of us has to struggle with something different (adoption complications, miscarriages, PCOS, infertility, unsupportive family, birthing difficulties, unplanned pregnancies,etc…) and hopefully we are able to receive God’s grace and glorify Him through all of it.

I know that children are a gift from God and I can’t let the gift (or the idea of the gift) ever become more important that the Giver.

I used to judge a lot, and the Lord sure has humbled me - I used to split everyone into one of two categories - those faithful to Christ and His church and those not - and I would sort them by the number of children they had. Over three meant they were faithful; two and under meant they were selfish and probably contracepting.

I see how wrong I was.

I know that many women with lots of children are often persecuted for it - with the rude comments and rude looks. I never thought about the silent sufferings endured by all of the women struggling with miscarriages, and infertility, etc…

What I will do now is:
-Thank God for gving me this small suffering to unite with Jesus’ sufferering.
-Live with expectant faith and trust.
-Keep “trying” and not worry about it.

I know now that I don’t need a baby to know that I am blessed.

sorry about the randomness of this post
-Viv
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This is right on and so true! Thanks for the gentle reminder for us all.
 
Someone mentioned adoption . . . we know 2 couples who could not conceive and ended up adopting. Within a year of the adoption they were pregnant. My way of thinking is that from all eternity, God planned for that adopted child to be w/ those specific parents. Had the parents conceived sooner, they would not have considered adopted. Gives me goosebumps to see how God’s plan unfolds. We just have to be patient and wait.
—KCT
 
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KCT:
Someone mentioned adoption . . . we know 2 couples who could not conceive and ended up adopting. Within a year of the adoption they were pregnant. My way of thinking is that from all eternity, God planned for that adopted child to be w/ those specific parents. Had the parents conceived sooner, they would not have considered adopted. Gives me goosebumps to see how God’s plan unfolds. We just have to be patient and wait.
—KCT
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KCT—I SOOOOO agree with this. We never know God’s plan and why He plans the way He does.
 
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Vivienne:
I know that children are a gift from God and I can’t let the gift (or the idea of the gift) ever become more important that the Giver.

I know that many women with lots of children are often persecuted for it - with the rude comments and rude looks. I never thought about the silent sufferings endured by all of the women struggling with miscarriages, and infertility, etc…

-Viv
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Viv,

Thank you for this post. Being involved in a Catholic group with many moms with large families (5+ kids), it is so difficult to have infertility problems. I have gone home from an afternoon of fun with these wonderful people, only to cry myself to sleep. Usually, it’s because another mom is expecting again. Don’t get me wrong, PLEASE!!! I’m so glad these faithful families are having lots of kids to raise in the Faith----it’s truly a blessing. However, some moms will make statements that are hurtful----“I guess my husband must’ve looked at me again” “my cycle was only back for 2 months, I can’t believe this happened so soon!!”—that kind of thing.
There’s actually a Catholic psychologist person in our group with a large family, who complained at a recent Bible study that infertile people “just need to get over it”. "If God doesn’t want them to have kids, they need to just stop complaining and whining about it. " She’s one that kind of complains about how much work her family is.
It’s painful and lonely to hear these types of comments. Typically, too, at gatherings like this, with at least a few pregnant women, there’s continual talk of labor/delivery/pregnancy stories. I simply can’t relate. I feel marginalized at these times. I know they have no idea that what they are saying is hurtful and causes me pain.
In addition, I’m told many times, that it’s so weird that I didn’t get pregnant after we adopted. Some people think it’s a magic bullet—using adoption as some sort of magic wand to get pregnant. Yes. It does happen with some. As KCT mentioned so beautifully above, sometimes it is God’s plan. However, in the vast majority of cases, it’s just not the way it happens.
Lastly, in this pitiful rant of mine, I must say that as a Catholic, there are many paths of fertility treatments that my husband and I just could not go down given our Faith. We could have gotten pregnant very easily if we had used these conception methods. We chose to be faithful. I can see where the type of pressure and comments from Catholic friends(as above), could actually push a less faithful person over the edge towards using some of these illicit treatments.
I praise God for my 3 beautiful children every day. I’m grateful and so happy to be a mom. I just wanted to take this opportunity to provide a little education to others. Thanks for listening.
 
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Giannawannabe:
Viv,

Thank you for this post. Being involved in a Catholic group with many moms with large families (5+ kids), it is so difficult to have infertility problems. I have gone home from an afternoon of fun with these wonderful people, only to cry myself to sleep. Usually, it’s because another mom is expecting again. Don’t get me wrong, PLEASE!!! I’m so glad these faithful families are having lots of kids to raise in the Faith----it’s truly a blessing. However, some moms will make statements that are hurtful----“I guess my husband must’ve looked at me again” “my cycle was only back for 2 months, I can’t believe this happened so soon!!”—that kind of thing.
There’s actually a Catholic psychologist person in our group with a large family, who complained at a recent Bible study that infertile people “just need to get over it”. "If God doesn’t want them to have kids, they need to just stop complaining and whining about it. " She’s one that kind of complains about how much work her family is.
It’s painful and lonely to hear these types of comments. Typically, too, at gatherings like this, with at least a few pregnant women, there’s continual talk of labor/delivery/pregnancy stories. I simply can’t relate. I feel marginalized at these times. I know they have no idea that what they are saying is hurtful and causes me pain.
In addition, I’m told many times, that it’s so weird that I didn’t get pregnant after we adopted. Some people think it’s a magic bullet—using adoption as some sort of magic wand to get pregnant. Yes. It does happen with some. As KCT mentioned so beautifully above, sometimes it is God’s plan. However, in the vast majority of cases, it’s just not the way it happens.
Lastly, in this pitiful rant of mine, I must say that as a Catholic, there are many paths of fertility treatments that my husband and I just could not go down given our Faith. We could have gotten pregnant very easily if we had used these conception methods. We chose to be faithful. I can see where the type of pressure and comments from Catholic friends(as above), could actually push a less faithful person over the edge towards using some of these illicit treatments.
I praise God for my 3 beautiful children every day. I’m grateful and so happy to be a mom. I just wanted to take this opportunity to provide a little education to others. Thanks for listening.
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I too have come home and cried and cried after spending time with my friends who are pregnant or have kids, most of them have been very supportive, and will admit they don’t understand what it is like not to be able to concieve. Its my cross and I try to bear it, but there have been many time in my tears that I have cried to God for help with my burden…hopefully it will happen when we find something to help me ovulate…

Does anyone know if there is a novena to St. Anne? I know there is one to St. Gerard, but I was curious about St. Anne, she’s my Patron…and is the patron against infertility.
 
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Giannawannabe:
It’s painful and lonely to hear these types of comments. Typically, too, at gatherings like this, with at least a few pregnant women, there’s continual talk of labor/delivery/pregnancy stories. I simply can’t relate. I feel marginalized at these times. I know they have no idea that what they are saying is hurtful and causes me pain.
In addition, I’m told many times, that it’s so weird that I didn’t get pregnant after we adopted. Some people think it’s a magic bullet—using adoption as some sort of magic wand to get pregnant. Yes. It does happen with some. As KCT mentioned so beautifully above, sometimes it is God’s plan. However, in the vast majority of cases, it’s just not the way it happens.
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Yeah, I know what you mean. I’ve started getting the “you’ve been married two years, where are the kids? You’re not getting any younger and it won’t get easier when you’re older” comments (I’m 27, by the way, which I didn’t think was THAT old). :confused: Fortunately most of the people we are close to know that it isn’t that we don’t want children, just that for whatever reason God doesn’t want us to have them right now. It’s the rather inappropriate comments from acquaintances that are most hurtful. It’s not their business and they don’t know anything about the situation except what shows on the surface.

And yeah, I hear you about adoption, too. Three of my cousins were adopted. One of my aunts could not get pregnant after years of trying so she and my uncle adopted two boys. About 10 years after they adopted the younger boy they had their only biological child. I know they (and everyone else) never expected her. My other aunt could get pregnant but would always lose the babies by the 5th month (sometimes by the time she was already in maternity clothes). I don’t think she ever got pregnant again after adopting her son. Adoption has it’s own blessings and graces, but it’s not a fertility treatment, that’s for sure.
 
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auroraj42:
Does anyone know if there is a novena to St. Anne? I know there is one to St. Gerard, but I was curious about St. Anne, she’s my Patron…and is the patron against infertility.
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I don’t know but I heard on the radio that St. Anthony of Padua is also a patron of couples struggling with infertility (Michigan Catholic radio is a wealth of information sometimes). Upon hearing that I immediately added him to my list of saints to ask for prayers.
 
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SeekerJen:
My other aunt could get pregnant but would always lose the babies by the 5th month (sometimes by the time she was already in maternity clothes)…
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I don’t know what would be worse, this or not being able to conceive? My mom lost two boys, both of whom were over 8 months. One of them she knew he was dead (she didn’t feel him move) and the other was alive for a few minutes after coming out, then died. I often wonder how women get thru this. I think this would be worse than not being able to conceive.
 
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dsproule:
I don’t know what would be worse, this or not being able to conceive? My mom lost two boys, both of whom were over 8 months. One of them she knew he was dead (she didn’t feel him move) and the other was alive for a few minutes after coming out, then died. I often wonder how women get thru this. I think this would be worse than not being able to conceive.
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I agree. Infertility is a struggle, but as far as I’m concerned it’s nothing to being excited and happy with the anticipation of a new baby, only to lose him or her before birth (or after- the loss of a child is always a tragedy).
 
I will pray for you all to have happy, holy, healthy babies. Please do the same for me.
 
Below is a helpful tip when “trying” to have a baby. Don’t make hubby feel like a baby making machine. Two and 1/2 times per week is the National average. Having sex much more than that can hinder conception.

**
**Too Much Sex
**
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You know what they say about too much of a good thing… Seriously, though, extremely frequent sex reduces the amount of sperm available for each ejaculate. We know that it takes about forty-eight hours after sex for a man to build up an adequate supply of sperm. So having sex more frequently than that reduces the man’s sperm count so much that pregnancy becomes even less likely. So you’ll just have to control yourself - at least until you get pregnant.😃
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I was older when I got married and we took nine months to conceive the first time and three months for the second.
 
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Jennie:
Below is a helpful tip when “trying” to have a baby. Don’t make hubby feel like a baby making machine. Two and 1/2 times per week is the National average. Having sex much more than that can hinder conception.
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Really, 2 1/2 times a week??..anyway, we concieved right away, and there were two things we did that I think helped. We abstained for the week prior to ovulation in order to let the sperm count grow, and afterwards, I remained laying on a pillow for about 30 minutes. We only made love once on each of the three days I thought I could conceive. Of course, we charted so I already knew what to look for in terms of my fertility. I’m not saying these things would work for someone with fertility issues, but with average fertility, it can help you conceive faster. I am very blessed to have conceived so easily and I pray for all the women who are seeking motherhood.
 
That is good advice, Steph. One of my friends told me that it is much harder to get pregnant if you stand up right after trying. I’m not saying that is a good method, but it couldn’t hurt.

I’ve only been trying for 6 months…and I already have one little one…I just wanted them close togethor. If I couldn’t concieve at all I suppose that would be really really hard.

But I did have a friend once who was born without ovaries and she complained about it EVERY DAY and talked about how she might have a sarrogate or something, even though she was only 21 and not even married. I can’t tell you how many nights I stayed up till 2 a.m. trying to make her feel better. It got real old real fast.
 
Well, I have posted this story before, but it is a good one.

The saint whose prayers helped us was Saint Anthony - patron saint of things who are lost. We asked him to help us find our lost fertility!!

I have been on both sides of fertility/infertility. My husband and I went through infertility without conception for several years. Then we had two miscarriages in a row. Then I determined (in my young faith) that we had done something to tick God off, so I went to talk to a visiting priest about my relationship with God. This was the first time I had ventured out in talking to a priest about anything other than “Yes we want to get married in the church.” He was a traveling priest and reminded me of Friar Tuck from Robin Hood movies. When I told him why I felt God was angry with me, he chuckled. Then he went on to explain that the first person God had ever sent him to help was a woman with infertility problems. Newly ordained he was upset that there was nothing he could do to help this woman. He sat on the church steps until he had the idea to ask St Anthony to pray for her lost fertility. He made the suggestion to her and she conceived shortly thereafter. He told me in 25 years he had never had a couple on his “St Anthony” list not conceive. It took one couple 6 years and he thought he was going to have to look for some other means.

Anyway, my faith life took a big leap forward at this time. It was February and I had just had my second miscarriage right before Christmas. Father prayed over me and blessed me - after hearing my confession. As I was leaving he looked at me and said, “I believe you are going to be pregnant by Easter.” Then he said a prayer that I would be able to carry that baby to term. Two weeks before Easter, my NFP chart temperatures dropped off and I was not pregnant. I thought “well that nice priest cheered me up for the past two months anyway.” My husband came into the Church at the Easter Vigil (another result of our struggles with infertility). My NFP charts show that our oldest daughter was conceived Wednesday or Thursday of Holy Week!!! I had no idea but I was pregnant by Easter!!!

We experienced secondary infertilty after our daughter’s birth and there are three years between she and her brother. However, he was only 26 months old when their TWIN brother and sister were born. With four children under the age of 5, no one would have ever guessed we had fertility problems. My twins are now 4 1/2 and we are expecting our fifth child after having experienced secondary infertilty again.

It’s so hard to wait on God’s time when we have our time all planned out, but as I look back on my own experience I can see how we grew closer and closer to God with every step we went through. That is what He wants for all of us.
Ask for St Anthony’s prayers and trust that God has a plan He is unfolding for you.

Carrie
 
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