How many dh's help with housework?

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puzzleannie said:
he does a great job, and has over the years, and is in general a better housekeeper than I am. that being said, does anyone have a husband who does not do the one or two simple chores you ask him to do, but spends a lot of time doing something you don’t care about, didn’t ask for, and then expect you to praise him for it?
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I know exactly what you are talking about!

Me: “Oh honey, thank you for tearing out the slightly cracked concrete (that I didn’t even notice), spending 3 hours hand mixing and pouring cement; running to the Home Depot to buy more cement and gravel; 2 hours to discuss it with the neighbor and 4 hours to recover from the physical exertion you placed on yourself. But what about the gutter that I asked you to retie?”

ROFL!
 
My husband works 1 FT job and 2 PT jobs. So I do a majority of the cleaning.
He is supposed to be the one who cleans the office though, it’s all his stuff in there. I just don’t know what to do with all of it.

There are some days I’m just to tired to do anything, and he’s okay with that. (I have health issues).
On days when he’s home, he helps.

Oh… and what is “making the bed”? I mean really you are just going to mess it up again in the evening. 😛
 
Hubby helps alot with house work when I request his help. He does do laundry on his own. He’s been working so many hours though, I’m thinking about hiring my friends teenage daughter to help me clean once a week because it’s too much for me with my health issues.
 
My husband helps out by cleaning the kitchen a couple of times per week and he helps me fold and put away laundry. He occasionally vacuums if I ask, but I try to get all the housework done while he’s working so we can spend couple time together in the evenings. When we both worked pre-baby he did a lot more to help out. He used to do a lot of the cooking, but now that I’m home I do it all. He also does the “man” chores like trash, yardwork, carrying heavy things to the attic, etc.
 
I do some housework.

When our hot water heater needed replacement, I did all the work. Dishwasher; same thing. When we needed an extra hose bib out back, I did all the work. When we decided a deck would be nice, I did all the work.

Come to think of it… I’ve done a ton of housework over the years. 🙂
 
I forgot, yard work to me is not on my housework list -outside stuff is his department, and he also takes out the garbage and cleans and dumps the cat boxes.
 
My DH would help out more if I let him. 😃 And he does give me grief about it at times, that I am such a control freak about how stuff gets done that I never let him help. But he does not just sit around and do nothing either - he is garbage master, and scooper of the kitty poop, and will vacuum when asked, and really anything I would ever ask him to do he would without a second of hesitation. In that he is wonderful!!!

Some things I just can’t give over control of, and that’s laundry and dishes. I have to have everything just right - I guess I’m bordering on OCD a bit with it, so it would be like walking on a window ledge to let anyone else do the laundry. 😊

Then again - it’s just the two of us and no children. I’m sure everything would be open to negotiation if that ever changes. 😃

~Liza
 
I have an unfair advantage - my husband used to own a janitorial service when he was younger, so he knows all the tricks to cleaning. We usually take out a couple of hours once a week to do housecleaning as a family, but he does the majority of the work because of this “advantage” - and he does it much quicker and a lot more thorough than I ever could!

He’s also a chef - so he does the majority of the cooking, too - also a lot quicker than I ever could!
 
We both work full time… so we both share the burden of housework fairly equally.
DH does more of the heavy type housework… major repairs (he replaced some siding on the second story of our house last month, this month he’s putting wood flooring into a section of our bedroom that was never done), plus he does the dishes and the major clutter cleaning in the house (I’m horrible about picking up clutter).
But I do more of the nitty-gritty cleaning… bathroom, kitchen, floors, etc. I don’t like things to be dirty. Plus I do the laundry and usually cook dinners. (DH does breakfasts)…

We do have a cleaning lady that comes once every 5-6 weeks… and this is a huge help. We can’t afford more often than that… but she usually does a really great job and that helps out a TON when we’re both working full time… even if it’s only every 5-6 weeks.
 
MaryD7 said:
I know exactly what you are talking about!

Me: “Oh honey, thank you for tearing out the slightly cracked concrete (that I didn’t even notice), spending 3 hours hand mixing and pouring cement; running to the Home Depot to buy more cement and gravel; 2 hours to discuss it with the neighbor and 4 hours to recover from the physical exertion you placed on yourself. But what about the gutter that I asked you to retie?”

ROFL!
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:rotfl: YES! I know EXACTLY what you guys are talking about!!! Drives me nuts! I always say that the things about my husband that make me crazy are just male qualities that I’d never be able to escape anyway (plus the good qualities definitely outweigh the bad by a long shot)!

My husband does help around the house some, but I don’t do outside - August in Alabama is just not working for this prissy girl! But, he loves yardwork and gardening. We just bought our first house in Feb. so we’re both totally OCD about everything - me, inside; him, outside.

Also, let’s be realistic here, in most cases, a man’s idea of a clean bathroom is much different than a woman’s idea of a clean bathroom! 😃
 
lizaanne said:
My DH would help out more if I let him. 😃 And he does give me grief about it at times, that I am such a control freak about how stuff gets done that I never let him help. But he does not just sit around and do nothing either - he is garbage master, and scooper of the kitty poop, and will vacuum when asked, and really anything I would ever ask him to do he would without a second of hesitation. In that he is wonderful!!!

Some things I just can’t give over control of, and that’s laundry and dishes. I have to have everything just right - I guess I’m bordering on OCD a bit with it, so it would be like walking on a window ledge to let anyone else do the laundry. 😊

Then again - it’s just the two of us and no children. I’m sure everything would be open to negotiation if that ever changes. 😃

~Liza
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Minus the kitty poop (no pets for us), I could have posted this! 😃
 
My wife takes care of the grocery shopping, most of the cooking, and yard work. I do the laundry, keep the floors clean (we have three dogs!), and we do most of the rest of the stuff together.

It seems to work out pretty well.
 
My DH and I work full time and I would say the house work itself is split about 35 - 65 on my side ( being the female ), however, he does about 95% of the fixing (plumbing, renos). We live in a condo so no yardwork 😉
 
I am not even married and my BF helps around the house when he stops over for a visit.
 
My DH has always done a lot of it. Most of our marriage we both worked, so we both did housework. I am recently a SAHM, so I’ve been doing more, but he still helps a lot.:love: :bowdown2:
 
In the BC era (Before Chorewars 😃 ), my musician/college dropout husband did most of the housework. I cooked and washed the dishes and that was it, but I provided most of the money (graduate scholarship AND working). Now I’m a SAHM also trying to study, and dh started doing military service (he chose to do it civilly, so he helps out every day at a hospital) so our roles were slowly starting to reverse, and Chorewars sealed the deal. I won’t let him do anything any more 😃 .
 
CatholicSam said:
I think you should sit down with your DH and make a list of all the chores that need to be done and then assign them all to either one or the other person. He will see that his list is smaller than yours and hopefully be motivated to jump in more and assume more responsibilities around the house. Also, make sure you stay caught up with the things on your list, because if he sees you’re not doing your chores, he will be less motivated to do his.
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I will try to do this for I do everything. I even take care of the yardwork except mowing for neither of us can do that and have to hire someone. I like to pick the weeds out and some minor yardwork. I bathe the dog and walk her and pick up after her messes in the backyard and dh wants another dog, I don’t think so. I will try to so what you suggested above, but I have mentioned this in the past and his answer is that he can’t do the dishes for it requires to much standing in one area, he can’t do the laundry for he mixes the colors. He can’t put he laundry away for he doesn’t know where things go. If I ask him to do the ironing, he takes his things to the cleaners. He said he can’t dust for he isn’t very good at it. He helps out only every once in a while with the vacuuming and mopping, but can’t do both in one day. I have to split it up also sometimes, but like to do it all in one day since I have a dog that sheds so much. If I vacuum one day and the next mop, I still have to vacuum again for she sheds so much in one day. When I allowed the dog about 8 years ago, my dh promised to do everything that dealt with the dog. He never kept his word. I was pregnant at the time and still did everything.

I know we both suffer with pain, but I my part and I just wish he helped out a lot. I might have to hire someone to do the housework if he doesn’t for my back pain is not getting better. I have to have a narcotic pain patch in order to do all that I do do. When my dd gets a little older, she will be able to help out more.

I will try the list thing. It would be so nice to get some help. I was just wondering if this was normal for men or not. I see that most help out their wives.
 
My hubby waits until I am on the edge of insanity and THEN he’ll pitch in like a real trooper. He’s funny like that. He’ll go through phases or something. right now, he’s in a helping phase, so I’m happy 🙂 We’ll see what tomorrow brings.
 
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