How many other SAHW (not Moms) here?

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Della

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There have been a lot of threads about stay-at-home-moms (God bless 'em!) but I don’t believe any for us stay-at-home-wives (no children).

My experience has been largely positive. When I say I work at home no one questions me or tells me I ought to be out in the world “contributing.” In a way, I feel like I’ve been deprived of the joy of being persecuted for not living as the world (liberal feminists) think I should as many women who stay at home with children do.

What has your experience been?

Have you gals found it hard or pleasant to be at home?
 
Hey Della!

My husband and I moved to Madison, WI about 3 weeks ago, and I haven’t worked since June 6 (due to the relocation and such), so I guess I’m a SAHW.

Truthfully, I’m kinda diggin’ it. 🙂 Then again, having even just a p/t job would be nice, too.

Jess
 
JessicaCeleste said:
Hey Della!

My husband and I moved to Madison, WI about 3 weeks ago, and I haven’t worked since June 6 (due to the relocation and such), so I guess I’m a SAHW.

Truthfully, I’m kinda diggin’ it. 🙂 Then again, having even just a p/t job would be nice, too.

Jess
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Congratulations on your new home, and your new life as a SAHW. 🙂

Do you find your days filled with activities? I do. And I have a p/t job that I do from home, so it works out nicely for me.

We live in the northern suburbs of the Twin Cities, so we’re still close to lots of places to go and things to do.

How are you liking life in Madison?
 
👋**Me! Me!

I have been looking for a few good friends who understand.

I neither work nor have children. My health keeps me at home. My infertility problems keep me childless.

I find the caring for my husband and home a very pleasant thing, and a true God given blessing. However, the being childless isn’t pleasant, it is very depressing right now. But I LOVE staying at home and being a wife. 👍👍

So I think I fall in your category. Nice to meet you! 🙂
**
 
After 31 years of marriage our finances are such that I no longer have to work. Our children are grown, and when they were at home I worked part-time jobs to help out, but still be able to be at home when they returned from school. My husband needs my help with entertaining for his job, and I always have dinner ready when he gets home from work which is a matter of pride for me! I am now able to persue my interests. I try to make good use of my time and am always busy. I am very happy and so is my husband. I am grateful that we have gotten to this point.
 
Convert_in_99 said:
👋Me! Me!

I have been looking for a few good friends who understand.

I neither work nor have children. My health keeps me at home. My infertility problems keep me childless.

I find the caring for my husband and home a very pleasant thing, and a true God given blessing. However, the being childless isn’t pleasant, it is very depressing right now. But I LOVE staying at home and being a wife. 👍👍

So I think I fall in your category. Nice to meet you! 🙂
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I am sure this thought has passed you on occasion but know that you may be “childless” and for you it may not be pleasant but remember there are lots of children out there that are parentless and that isint pleasant for them either, maybe you could hook up and change those unpleasant feelings each have and make some pleasant memories someday…👍

biological dna dont make a parent, love, understanding, forgivness,patience,careing DO

My normally useless 2 cents worth.

God bless
John
 
Morning!

There’s not much going on in my life right now, and it’s beginning to get to me. We’re almost done unpacking, and the past couple of days I’ve just been loafing around, and puttering in the house. I’m still getting used to the idea of living in a huge city - at 208,000 people, Madison is WAY bigger than anything I’ve ever lived in, but I suspect that’s turning into an excuse not to go out wandering and learning the area or finding parish to call home.

I have, however, been bitten by the genealogy bug 🙂 So, that’s my new hobby:)

Jess
Della said:
Congratulations on your new home, and your new life as a SAHW. 🙂

Do you find your days filled with activities? I do. And I have a p/t job that I do from home, so it works out nicely for me.

We live in the northern suburbs of the Twin Cities, so we’re still close to lots of places to go and things to do.

How are you liking life in Madison?
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**Well, for the past year I have been a SAHM… but for the few years previous I was a SAHW (for health reasons like Convert in 99…same illness actually).

I found it difficult once I had to stop working (which was only ever part time anyways). One question that always seems to come up from almost every new person you meet is “so, where do you work”?

I found it difficult to answer in a short and sweet way. Not everyone needs to know my personal life. But, if I didn’t give a complete explanation then I was viewed as unfriendly or a snob. Plus, living off of one income is very tough so it’s not like I could say we were rich and could afford for me to not work. The worst was/is being viewed as lazy and mooching off my hard working hubby.

Now that I am finally a mom I am relieved to have that** as my answer for new people.

Malia
 
I’m a housewife too. Health reasons keep me home and infertile. At this time, we cannot adopt or foster as we do not have the finances, due to medical bills and the fact I can’t work.

A lot of times, I feel like…like my husband got the raw end of the deal because he ended up with a wife that can’t work, can’t bear children, and can barely keep house due to her health. He knew of my health problems before marrying me, but we didn’t know for certain they’d cause me to be infertile…well, I suppose maybe I could still get pregnant, but it’s not likely. The ‘preferred treatment’ for the infertility caused by my condition is IVF with donor eggs, which obviously is not an option.

I know for certain that my mil looks down on me, she gives a lot of backhanded compliments like, “this is better than you usually do” in regards to my cooking or cleaning. Also, she’s a nurse and thinks she knows everything about medicine and tells me I’m faking or that she knows tons of people who still manage to work, or that if I just did A, B, and C I’d get better. It REALLY gets on my nerves. I swear, one day I’m just going to snap and be like, “Are you a doctor? Did you go to medical school for 7 years? NO! So don’t act like you know anything about my health!”

Sorry this turned into a rant, I just don’t come across many people who understand what it’s like to be a housewife in this day and age. At times, I really wish we were living in the 50s because the social stigma would be less for me, but then again, I need today’s medicine, so I just have to grow a thicker skin.
 
just met today with a long time friend (we connect once a year when I visit family here, and have a letter writing friendship), about this very issue. I love her response when people ask what she does. She simply says I work at home. when they press her for details she just says her work is confidential and she keeps it that way for the sake of her clients. she to me is the poster child for SAHM, and now SAHW, how we should conduct our lives in each of these circumstances, a real role model.
 
puzzleannie said:
just met today with a long time friend (we connect once a year when I visit family here, and have a letter writing friendship), about this very issue. I love her response when people ask what she does. She simply says I work at home. when they press her for details she just says her work is confidential and she keeps it that way for the sake of her clients. she to me is the poster child for SAHM, and now SAHW, how we should conduct our lives in each of these circumstances, a real role model.
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I love this!

I’m a SAHW (wishing I could be a SAHM too) and currently undergoing infertility as well as hoping to adopt. I also work p/t or sometimes f/t from home. Keeping the home nice and dinner on is very much a full time job though.
 
I was a SAHM, and I remember women who worked judging me…then, now that I work, I sometimes get snubbed by the SAHM’s…moral of the story–who cares what people think? If you and your family are happy with your choices…and it makes sense for you…then, so be it. (and of course, if you are following God’s will-most important!)

For those of you in this thread, who are staying at home, and would like to work–who are suffering from illnesses that prevent you from working…my prayers are with you. In our weaknesses, we are strong in Christ. Maybe you could start support groups or something? I think you are all inspiring…we are not what we do…we are who we are in Christ. Blessings.❤️
 
AshtonAnne said:
A lot of times, I feel like…like my husband got the raw end of the deal
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I know! Every so often I tell him I’m sorry. I can’t help but say that to him now and then because I wish he had better. Then I go back to being my usual self (tyrant, boss, making him fetch medication, etc.) 😊

I bet there are more (percentage-wise) of us on the internet than in real life. I only started using the internet a lot once other options became difficult.
 
I have been Katrina-retired since 8/29/05 - I would love it if I were back home in LA - I think of all I could be doing for my church if it were opened but, instead I sit in AR thinking of the time I can return. Trying to get the house rebuilt on limited funds - we do not qualify for any LA Road Home money because we had flood insurance which paid off the mortgage - just hoping it can be completed enough for me to live in so I can go back to work to get it completed. The longer I stay home the more I am enjoying it just need to be involved more in a church.
 
I’m a SAHW. I’m so glad to see this topic come up. While I do have a grown son (19), he is out of the house and I have every intention of staying home if at all possible financially. Unfortunately I had to work until he was about 15 but have really enjoyed these last four years at home.

What amazes me is why has society made such a 180? In the 40’s and 50’s it would have been odd for a woman to work. Now, it is considered abhorrent for a woman not to work. I have really struggled with the opinions people who do not understand why I am home. Not that it is any of their business. I attribute a lot of it to greed. Also, why should women have to have small children to justify being home? Why isn’t taking care of your husband and home good enough reason?

Bottom line, I love being home. I do have some health problems that would make it hard for me to work but I am mainly home because I want to be and because my husband also prefers it that way.

He is an OTR truck driver and out two weeks at a time. We like to be free to speak on the phone whenever he is free. We like me to be home and not at a job when he has his days off (they fall on different days of the week/weekend).

I also feel safer and more comfortable and more relaxed being home. I am not in the workplace and having men behave inappropriately with me as has happened in the past. I can devote myself to cooking and cleaning and homemaking which I actually love and find more fulfilling than any job I’ve ever had. Also cross-stitch and crochet. I like to know that I am still available for my son when/if he needs me and in most cases, they never stop needing you! lol.

I’m also free to pursue my writing which I’ve had some success with. I think a lot of marriages would be happier and stronger with the woman home and the man working. It is a nice balance and allows each to fulfill roles that in my opinion come more naturally to them.

(And no, I’m not bashing working women at all. I was one! Just saying that in my situation being home is the best.)

Amie
 
It is sad that being a “homemaker” gets such short shrift these days. There are very few (if any) positive images of the SAHW in our culture, which I believe is driven by leftist feminists.

What we do is just as important as working in an office day after day. It distresses me most that money is the gauge by which we judge people’s worth, men and women, these days. Our society has become overly utilitarian with financial success being the baseline of human dignity.

It’s no wonder we feel we are letting others down if we can’t earn money! I too have health problems that would make it very difficult for me to work a 9 to 5 job. I have also felt the sting of being considered lazy----until I say I work at home and earn money at it. Isn’t that sad?

airforcemom, I will keep you and your family in my prayers as you rebuild your lives. May the Lord and Our Lady keep you all as you wait to go back home.
 
Sadly, so much of our culture (and even self-worth, against our best intentions) is driven by money! By being a SAHW or SAHM, your very exsistence is giving the lie to those who insist they “have to work.”

I was a SAHW for a little over six months after I left the Navy. Like several of y’all, it was a temporary thing because we were trying to get pregnant. Well, the first little bundle of joy (and slobber and poop…) came home from the adoption agency that July, but I was SO GRATEFUL to have had that time as a SAHW to get the house and stuff in order. Appreciate the peace, quiet, and order while you have it; it can be a very fruitful time to cultivate friendships, interests, and prayer life.

When I was working outside the home, there was so much that just didn’t get done; I just didn’t have the time and energy.

When I was deployed with the Navy, my relaxation was to daydream and make lists about tasks I planned to do around the house when I got home: paint, organize, garden, etc. When my husband got home from work, he wanted to relax. I wanted to do something “useful” after a day of paperwork and headaches on the ship; he wanted to watch some TV and go to sleep.

Men and women are just wired differently. It’s too bad that today’s feminists forgot all that when they embraced abortion and the sexual revolution.
 
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