How much can I expect from a priest?

  • Thread starter Thread starter cmscms
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
C

cmscms

Guest
I am having a lot of struggles in life right now. Actually, the majority of my life has been one struggle after antoher.

Near my house there was a service this evening where a priest gave a little lecture and then there was the parish priest and four visiting priest who would hear confession before Christmas. I got talking to one priest and told him about my struggles. He told me that other people were waiting so I had to leave but he would give the parish priest his cell phone number to give only to me. He told me to call him and we could go for coffee so he could help me work these things out.

I was SOOOO happy. He was such a kind and caring man. I really felt he was sincere and caring and pious. All the things I like in a priest (which are hard to find).

I knew it was a mistake but nontheless I told my mom about it. She told me I should quit bothering priest with my problems. I have talked enough about them and now I should let them go. My mom does not understand I would love to let my problems go but I just don’t know how and I have to be honest about what is in my heart.

I have been praying for YEARS for peace of mind that never comes. There is another priest Father H. who I talk a lot to. He is 93 and a good man but… at his age I think his good intentions far outweight his ability to help. My mom says things like ‘If you have spent all these years talking to Father H and are still hurt then maybe talking won’t work and you should not unload on another priest and make yet another priest cross to the opposite side of the road when he sees you coming’. That hurts. My mom appears to be a devoted catholic on the outside but shames me for seeking the help of priests.

I can’t help but think that God gave me Father H when I needed the gifts Father H could give me and now it is time to move on. I can’t help but think that this new priest is the answer to my prayers. I will always love Father H and go visit him. He is a good friend and I want to be loyal. Nonetheless, is it so wrong to think that God is giving me the next chapter in my life?

Please give me thoughs and opinions about confiding problems in a priest

Thanks
 
I’m sorry that you are struggling :hug1: the priest you met sounds wonderful. i’ve known a few like that since i became Catholic 🙂

In my opinion, there’s NOTHING wrong with looking for help from a priest. I got a spiritual director because I have so many things to sort out, and he’s been very kind and understanding. imo, priests are better than secular psychologists (and I’m speaking as a psych. student) to ask for help because they look at things from a spiritual perspective and would pray for you…

we are taught to honour our parents, so I’d say… respect your mom’s perspective and understand where she’s coming from, but in the end, this is your decision. It’s probable that God sent you this priest to help you. He often sends people into our lives. Maybe you can tell your mom, even if he wont offer an instant solution, it would still help you to have someone to talk to about these issues (whatever they are) and get another perspective on them.

This priest was obviously alright with helping you out, so I can’t imagine that it would “bother” him if you do!

try to trust God, pray about this, and if you feel in your heart this is the right thing to do, why not go for it.

I know what you mean about having trouble letting go of problems. People have actually told me this too… that I should just stop thinking about them, or that they’re not that bad anyway. But sometimes it’s really hard to deal with things and talking about them does help.

May I suggest another thing you can do in addition to talking to a priest? Maybe you could try our Adoration, if you don’t already, and just go there to spend time with Jesus. Not even saying much, but just resting and being in His presence. This got me through a lot of difficult times.

God bless!
 
I would also look to find a Catholic counselor. Especially if you have had these issues all your life and can’t seem to get over them. A counselor might just be very helpful for you. Sometimes they can help us to overcome issues that are hindering us, and also give us a gentle kick in the pants at times to work on and develop long-term solutions to problems instead of just talking about them.
 
Speaking as a sometimes insecure mom myself, I wonder if your mom is afraid you’re talking about her (as a problem)? That might account for some of her opposition.

Betsy
 
Monica4316 said:
I’m sorry that you are struggling :hug1: the priest you met sounds wonderful. i’ve known a few like that since i became Catholic 🙂

In my opinion, there’s NOTHING wrong with looking for help from a priest. I got a spiritual director because I have so many things to sort out, and he’s been very kind and understanding. imo, priests are better than secular psychologists (and I’m speaking as a psych. student) to ask for help because they look at things from a spiritual perspective and would pray for you…

we are taught to honour our parents, so I’d say… respect your mom’s perspective and understand where she’s coming from, but in the end, this is your decision. It’s probable that God sent you this priest to help you. He often sends people into our lives. Maybe you can tell your mom, even if he wont offer an instant solution, it would still help you to have someone to talk to about these issues (whatever they are) and get another perspective on them.

This priest was obviously alright with helping you out, so I can’t imagine that it would “bother” him if you do!

try to trust God, pray about this, and if you feel in your heart this is the right thing to do, why not go for it.

I know what you mean about having trouble letting go of problems. People have actually told me this too… that I should just stop thinking about them, or that they’re not that bad anyway. But sometimes it’s really hard to deal with things and talking about them does help.

May I suggest another thing you can do in addition to talking to a priest? Maybe you could try our Adoration, if you don’t already, and just go there to spend time with Jesus. Not even saying much, but just resting and being in His presence. This got me through a lot of difficult times.

God bless!
Click to expand...
Get yourself involved with Big Brothers, you need a male roll model to be there for you. The rest, enough said, no need to elaborate here if you take my advice and act upon it.
 
I don’t know how old you are, but there is a difference between counselling, confession, and spiritual direction.

If you have found a priest who might be a good spiritual director for you, praise God!

You DO have a right to this, if this is in God’s plan for you.

And if you have found that confiding in and talking with priests answers an inarticulated need, this COULD be a sign of a vocation.

But that’s why you need a spirtual director to help you discern this.

FWIW, finding a non-parental mentor has been seen as one of the tasks of late adolescence and early adulthood by some developmental psychologists.
 
I do not mean to put a negative spin on this, but DO NOT meet this priest anywhere except in the parish with other people present. It is totally unprofessional for him to meet you for coffee to discuss your problems. Pastoral counseling should be done in a professional manner. I am not saying he has any other motives other than to help you, but his actions of giving you his private number and asking you to meet him for coffee are TOTALLY against the code of conduct for Church workers, including priests. You do not say your age, but if you are young then this priest is breaking the guidelines for working with minors.
 
I appreciate everyone’s (name removed by moderator)ut. To asnwer a few questions quickly, I will be 40 soon. But trust me I still feel I am at the same place as when I first started to find inner peace in my early 20s

Also, I am a woman so I don’t think a big brother would be the answer

As for my mom perhaps being scared I am talking about her. Betsy, I think you are on to something

Thanks again

CM
 
Priests are servants to you. Their vocation is exactly to serve your spiritiual needs and as a guiding spiritual counselor. May God bless you always.
Hopefully, a future priest.
 
Just follow your heart cmscms,you can count yourself fortunate indeed ,if your have found a friend who is a priest.Jesus used personal contact where ever possible,apart of the ten lepers ,he cured people individually.This was the turning point for their salvation,He cured each one physically and then spiritually.A priest is another Christ,it is to them that He entrusts the spread of His Kingdom in a ministerial way.We too share in this priesthood and can take part in helping others who need our ear and advise.I personally know two such priests that when I do need sound advise,I can get on the telephone and seek guidance.There used to be a lay fellow down the road that I knew, who died a few years back,aged about 70,a very good practical catholic.His marriage broke down years before.I met his widow and family for the first time when they were clearing the house for sale and just mentioned in passing that if there is anything I can do for them, to come and see me.(I gave Green Scapulars to him six months before he died and he gave them to his family,along with some liturature about it).That same day there was a knock of the door,it was his son about 37years of age,He was very stressed,as it turned out I had a visiting priest staying with me,so I suggested that he had a talk with him which he did.Since then this fellow ,for the last three years usually comes for a chat every week or so,I give him a meal and encourage him to go to Sunday Mass,confession if he has lapsed etc.I am not a professional adviser.He has a secular mentor-who advised him not to have anything to do with priests!(His adviser is a protestant-so much for non directional counseling!)).I also have tried to steer him to get to know his parish priest and to get involved in his parish,as he is usually at loose ends.I say all this not to put tickets on my self,but I feel that I am doing my duty in my "priestly"role as a layperson and following scriptural advise,something like this— that we should help others with the same help that we have received from God.Over the years I was fortunate to have had a priest as a friend,for over thirty years this priest was my spiritual director and he always found time to help me,until he went to his heavenly reward ( I still feel that he helps me even more now from Heaven).So even when this fellow comes at awkward times(after my working a 12hour day!),I see that it is a grace to be able to befriend him,using the example that Father gave me.Sorry for going off the thread a bit,but I really cannot see how a priest could be called "unprofessional"in giving you his personal phone number and suggesting a public coffee place as a meeting point!Better there, than at your mothers’house I should have thought.I really think that personal visitation in the homes,by the parish clergy is so important,not withstanding your situation.It should be a number one priority.As Jesus said "I know my Sheep and they know me–I lay down my life for my sheep."Christ is The Priest and always available for a chat; we should all try to be friends with all we meet-even if it is only with a smile :)So never feel that you are a “nusiance”,or that you do not want to disture “poor Father”,if you need help, do not let the devil stop you with these empty suggestions-and yes pray for Priests and for more holy shepherds, as your best way of showing gratitude.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top