How much negative information should be shared with a fiancee?

[Gerasime]

For a period of two to three years in his mid-twenties my son was a moderate to heavy user of marijuana in social situations. He assures me that he was not addicted and that he has repented. He has not smoked in three years, and he is now engaged to a beautiful conservative young woman who knows nothing of this aspect of his past. Should my son tell his fiancee of his past abuse of this drug? In general how much negative information about one’s past should be shared with a fiance?

 

[Fr.Vincent_Serpa]

Hi,

Common sense tells us that it would be far worse to have her eventually learn of this history from others than from him. He needs to be a man and risk losing her, than with-hold information that she has a right to know. In other words, if he loves her, then he needs to put her welfare ahead of his own.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.