How much of my Requiem Mass can I control?

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GloriousOrder said:
I appreciate your defense. I don’t necessarily want an E.F., because I know this particular priest would say a very reverent O.F. Mass over my corpse. I really love him with all my heart, and wish to be united with him in spirit as he says my funereal Mass. Priests may be priests regardless of their intimacy with the deceased, but there is a thing called friendship, a form called brotherhood, which elicits tears over the dead. I would rather have holy tears super-added over the funeral; not, indeed, to aid the efficacy of the Mass (which is self-sufficient), but so I can have the joy of seeing my clerical brother intimately remember me with the highest remembrance possible, and to consummate our friendship in his memory as he says this Mass.
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That is really cool. I’m quite young, so at this point, I’ll probably outlive nearly any priest that is already ordained. 😃 But if I knew it would be done well, I would have no problem with an OF funeral.

In fact, I don’t even attend the EF that often, but as I said, I know when I’m at an EF, I don’t have to worry about anything. Validity? It’s out of the question. Any priest willing to say the EF will not mess with the words of consecration. It’s that aspect of it that gives me great comfort in the extraordinary form.
 
puzzleannie said:
my attorney told me not to put this in the will, which is often not even read until after the burial, but to entrust any instructions to my next of kin, both my husband and my daughter (not that I have any plans to dictate funeral instructions to them).
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That’s a good point, about the will possibly being read later, but why would the attorney say NOT to put it in the will? It becomes one more record of what was desired, especially if it IS read before the funeral. It certainly cannot hurt. :confused:
 
GloriousOrder said:
Planning to do something is not assuming that it is done.I will try harder not to write things that are potentially-scandalous 😊, but pease try to read more into what I say. Do you really think I have the gall to say that I’m off to Heaven in one shot? There’s such a thing as common sense, and even such a dreamer as I have a tiny bit of it! :rotfl:
?
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GloriousOrder,

I see nothing wrong with your statement. We ought all of us plan on Heaven, but sin does prevent this. This is not immature, but a good aspiration.

Don’t rescind your statements out of an undue chastisement.
 
I cantor for many funerals in different parishes and often work with the family of the deceased. My knowledge is basically for the music chosen and not anything else involved for the funeral mass.
  • Some churches already have a set list of music that you can choose from for the funeral mass and you are usually not permitted to deviate from that list. So, even if you have already chosen your music, you may not be permitted to use it. Although, I’ve often seen the priests make exceptions for pastoral reasons. But then you have to be sure that the musician(s) at the church are actually capable of playing/singing that piece of music.
  • Other times, the families are so distraught that they either leave it up to the musicians or the priest, himself, to choose the music for them. If I do deal with a family like that, I will recommend certain hymns or other works that I know the organist will be able to play and then also see if there were any favorite pieces of sacred music/hymns that the deceased had.
  • If the families would like to be involved with choosing the music, they will often choose hymns that will bring comfort to them, so it’s usually the music they hear at their parishes… the typical ones for many of these funerals… “On Eagle’s Wings”, “Be Not Afraid”, “Here I Am, Lord”, “Amazing Grace”.
  • And finally, sometimes the deceased will have chosen the music ahead of time and if there is nothing inappropriate, the musicians will do their best to honour the wishes of the deceased.
Now, for my funeral mass, I’ve already decided that I definitely do not want the typical, standard funeral music. If that is the only thing that can be used, then I don’t want music at all. Otherwise, my husband knows that if there is enough money he will have to hire a good organist and singers (ideally a little schola) to sing parts either from the Faure “Requiem” or the Durufle “Requiem”. I don’t want any of my close colleague friends to have to play/sing for my funeral.
 
Sarabande said:
I cantor for many funerals in different parishes and often work with the family of the deceased. My knowledge is basically for the music chosen and not anything else involved for the funeral mass.
  • Some churches already have a set list of music that you can choose from for the funeral mass and you are usually not permitted to deviate from that list. So, even if you have already chosen your music, you may not be permitted to use it. Although, I’ve often seen the priests make exceptions for pastoral reasons. But then you have to be sure that the musician(s) at the church are actually capable of playing/singing that piece of music.
  • Other times, the families are so distraught that they either leave it up to the musicians or the priest, himself, to choose the music for them. If I do deal with a family like that, I will recommend certain hymns or other works that I know the organist will be able to play and then also see if there were any favorite pieces of sacred music/hymns that the deceased had.
**- If the families would like to be involved with choosing the music, they will often choose hymns that will bring comfort to them, so it’s usually the music they hear at their parishes… the typical ones for many of these funerals… “On Eagle’s Wings”, “Be Not Afraid”, “Here I Am, Lord”, “Amazing Grace”.
**
  • And finally, sometimes the deceased will have chosen the music ahead of time and if there is nothing inappropriate, the musicians will do their best to honour the wishes of the deceased.
Now, for my funeral mass, I’ve already decided that I definitely do not want the typical, standard funeral music. If that is the only thing that can be used, then I don’t want music at all. Otherwise, my husband knows that if there is enough money he will have to hire a good organist and singers (ideally a little schola) to sing parts either from the Faure “Requiem” or the Durufle “Requiem”. I don’t want any of my close colleague friends to have to play/sing for my funeral.
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👍 I want “Be Not Afraid,” and “Here I Am, Lord!” 😉 At least at Mass. Then there is the rosary/viewing to think of. I’m not sure some of my music choices are appropriate for the rosary…but I have a lot of music for the gathering wherever once everything is done…I like the idea of a wake but that traditionally included the person’s body or coffin. :eek:

I want some Newsboys pieces and maybe one or two Kutless songs. I want the people who know me to feel that I am happy with Jesus…And one of my favorite memories is the Newsboys concert my older son and I went to…I got to meet them afterward and the music was SO GOOD! I would like the music to be played nice and loud, the way I like it.

Then I want butterflies released.

👍

And I think it’s** great** to plan and talk to your relatives about what you would want. None of us knows when our time may come, and it may come suddenly. I want my kids to know that I did not become a different person and suddenly all they hear are hymns and sad songs! I rock out now, and I want them to think of me as the songs I loved play.
 
GloriousOrder said:
Are the two of you actually Catholic? How can you possibly think that way?
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Wow, just wow. My first post and already my faith is questioned. Outstanding.

The point I was trying to make is that, at least for me, it’s important that in my last at bat, I bring home as many people to Jesus as I can. As I recall, He teaches us to put others before ourselves.

I’m sorry you took offense that I said you’d be with Jesus, that’s obviously something you and He will need to sort out at the time. I hope the rest of the content of my message was at least of some help to you

God Bless!
 
Rahn said:
Wow, just wow. My first post and already my faith is questioned. Outstanding.

The point I was trying to make is that, at least for me, it’s important that in my last at bat, I bring home as many people to Jesus as I can. As I recall, He teaches us to put others before ourselves.

I’m sorry you took offense that I said you’d be with Jesus, that’s obviously something you and He will need to sort out at the time. I hope the rest of the content of my message was at least of some help to you

God Bless!
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May God bless you! Please forgive me for having worded my response in a scandalous fashion. By asking if you’re even Catholic, I did not express the underlying meaning properly. I meant that your mindset didn’t sound Catholic (mystical, sacramental) to me, but somewhat protestant. You basically said that I’ll be in the Spirit and I won’t “care” what happens at my funeral; however, the Catholic Church teaches that our souls are still intimately involved with the world after death. We may even come back to beg intercession. Nothing on Earth is severed or cut off from Heaven, and nothing in Heaven is severed or cut off from Earth. Sorry, I’ve been reading a lot of anti-dualist propaganda, and I immediately jump at anything that looks slightly Manichaean. 😊

Now, to be honest I’d still have chided you if it was your 10 000th post. I didn’t even think to check your post-count. Who cares? You’re a Catholic, and it’s not as if you were just born the moment you came on C.A.F.! “Charity in all things”, perhaps, but one must attack newbies with all the furor of zealotry! 😃

Have a blessed Sunday, though! Of course!
 
Timothysis said:
Getting out of the kitchen because you can’t stand the heat? :rolleyes:
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Well, there’s no point continuing the thread if it’s just going to degenerate into calling each other prideful. 😦 I have no defense against your accusation, and it has nothing to do with the subject anyway.
 
Sarabande said:
Now, for my funeral mass, I’ve already decided that I definitely do not want the typical, standard funeral music. If that is the only thing that can be used, then I don’t want music at all. Otherwise, my husband knows that if there is enough money he will have to hire a good organist and singers (ideally a little schola) to sing parts either from the Faure “Requiem” or the Durufle “Requiem”. I don’t want any of my close colleague friends to have to play/sing for my funeral.
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👍

There was a protestant woman who was part of a choir who died and a month or so before. her choir had done, I believe it was the Faure Requiem. So her fellow choir members sang parts of it at her funeral, so it was a beautiful funeral.
 
TrueLight said:
👍

There was a protestant woman who was part of a choir who died and a month or so before. her choir had done, I believe it was the Faure Requiem. So her fellow choir members sang parts of it at her funeral, so it was a beautiful funeral.
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What a lovely send-off for their fellow choir member/friend. I know that I say I don’t want my colleague-friends to sing/play for my funeral because I just don’t feel right wanting them to do something like that after I’m gone. At the same time, whenever family or friends ask me to sing for a funeral I will do it without question and with love because I know that is what they want and will help bring comfort to them. (My grandmother has already told me that I have to sing for her funeral and has already chosen her hymns along with the Schubert “Ave Maria”.) So, I probably should leave it open for them if they would like to sing/play… that’s if I’m not the last one standing amongst my friends/family or if we’re all still at an age who can still play or sing. 😛
 
GloriousOrder said:
…I plan to go straight to Heaven, but having already sinned since my baptism… it’s likely I will need some purgative growth. …
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Timothysis said:
Think back on this quote in 20 years or so and you’ll realize just how childish and immature it is.
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Timothysis said:
Getting out of the kitchen because you can’t stand the heat? :rolleyes:
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I think that personally attacking in public a Catholic for standing to what the Church teaches is uncharitable and it support heretical thinking. We all have to plan to go straight to Heaven because that is what God wishes for us. We also have to acknowledge our limitations and errors and that too is what God wants from us, and that is why we received the gift of the Holy Spirit and we must practice the Christian virtues. Sarcasm, personal attacks and name calling are basic debate fallacies that usually do not win anyone on your side and on top of that a Christian should avoid them.
 
TrueLight said:
Is it non-Catholic to “aim” for heaven?
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I would say that it is a Christian duty, Catholic or not, because it is God’s desire. Why would Catholics go through the sacraments if they were not aiming for heaven?

I am going to look for a recent great article from a priest that said to aim for heaven and maybe you get in purgatory, but if you aim for purgatory you have the biggest chance of going to hell. I will post as soon as I find it.
 
TrueLight said:
All this time I thought your avatar was you. 🤷
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Nope 😃

It’s a cropped picture of the Pope, before he was pope, but still in his typical style: breviary (I assume), biretta, sunglasses, and one awesome rochet!

No, you can’t use it for your avatar. 😃
 
Cristiano said:
…I am going to look for a recent great article from a priest that said to aim for heaven and maybe you get in purgatory, but if you aim for purgatory you have the biggest chance of going to hell. I will post as soon as I find it.
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The quotes that I can find relate to Fr. Larry Richards, and Fr. John Corapi and you can start your search from here.

The article that I was thinking of is the following one, but it is not written by a priest as I previously thought. “The cruelty of casual canonizations”
 
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