How Much Should be Spent on an Engagement Ring?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Son_of_Zebedee
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
S

Son_of_Zebedee

Guest
Do not want to get something too big and flashy, believe it would kinda go against the whole idea of being modest. Looking for a balance between just enough, but not too much.

Any ideas or advice???
 
You can get really nice solitaires for under $1000. The one i picked out (have yet to buy it though) is actually a sapphire ring, i don’t like diamonds and is small, cause i have really small hands, it was $199. That’s canadian by the way.

My dream ring is about $6000, WAAAAAYY TOOO MUCH!!!

You can’t lose with a solitaire though!!!
 
The jewelers will tell you that an engagement ring “should” run you about two months salary. :hmmm: I personally think that’s a bit high.

You know what your “disposable” income is, and how long you have to save for the ring, so, do a bit of multiplying and you’ll get your reply! 👍
 
How much money do you have for a down payment on a house? Definitely only use a fraction of that money. Have some left over to buy the house. I didn’t go on a honeymoon. We both stayed and had a longer honeymoon. It won’t be a long honeymoon if there are big bills to come home to.

I think if the groom has a lot of credit card debt, then he should look for a solid 14K Gold ring (with a half-carot or third-carot cubic zirconia solitare). That way it will last. And it will look the same as one with a diamond. Probably only $120 US at the most. If the couple has improved financial circumstances and is then able to, they could replace the CZ with a real diamond (same size). Nobody would ever know.

To me, it is more false to buy an expensive ring on credit. The ring should always be one that cannot be repossessed (because of a loan default).

The commitment of the heart is what is important. And I think the bride can tell. Only if the groom can afford it and the bride also not in big debt, then I think it is OK to spend more. But not so much more that the bride would hesitate too long if an armed robber demanded it.

My Dad had a fraternity brother who eventually became a Division President of IBM (when IBM was still a very big deal). At one point, their family lived in a very big home. But his wife (my Mom’s sorority sister) always treasured her very modest engagement ring. Hey, she had a lot of other things to be very thankful for. I remember one large home had a few chip-and-put golf holes, a tennis court and a very nice in-ground pool. The smaller home before that had enough fireplaces to keep me busy counting them (as a child) during one Thanksgiving holiday. And they still have each other.

My own parents have been married now for almost 55 years. That WW2 generation really developed solid personal character.
 
I once heard that the cost of the ring should be equal to the ammount of $$ it would take to care for your family to recover from an unforeseen event like your unforeseen death. (Wife hocks ring to bury you, and move on).
(morbid yes)

In that case I would need a ring worth well into 5 figures because I am a horse owner 😃
 
My fiance and his best friend Peter went together when they got his fiancee’s ring last year, and my own this year. They told me the ‘guidelines’ they used for ring shopping.
  1. Each of the guys thought of an appropriate range they could spend on a ring. Peter and his fiancee had a slightly higher range because they were being helped by their parents for wedding expenses. my fiance and I are still students, and are paying for our wedding ourselves, so we went a little cheaper.
  2. When they arrived at the store, they told the salesperson the range. No negotiations. They made a pact that they would not let any sales person persuade them to spend above the budget.
  3. After seeing the rings, they wrote down the 4 C’s (cut, clarity, colour and something else), and told the salesperson they would be back. They didn’t want to feel pressured into making a decision, so they took their paper with the details of the rings they liked the best (3 or 4), and went to a coffee shop. Their they talked about which was most appropriate (e.g. going for a bigger diamond with a lower clarity or vice versa). They returned an hour or so later, and made the purchase.
I know that in both cases, the guys were shaking in their boots when they went to buy a ring. I think it’s a good idea to bring a guy friend to keep you in check. You may find that when you do go to make that purchase, you’re not quite yourself. Good luck!
 
My husband to be and I picked out a set together. It included my engagement ring, my wedding ring and his wedding ring. I paid for his ring…

My hands are very small and so …the ring is small. It looks just fine…a bigger ring would be akward and I also think a bit dangerous for me.

It didn’t really cost all that much at the time.

Still wearing them …and its almost 24 years together.

dream wanderer
 
To this day 5 years later I don’t know ho much my husband spent on my ring. It should last a lifetime, so don’t be too practical. No particular formula here, but splurge enough to make a bit upset that you actually spent too much. Of course don’t go bankrupt either.
 
I just got married a year ago. When my husband to be and I were shopping rings, we first went out and bought the book “How to Buy a Diamond.” I can’t remember who the author is, but just type it into Amazon.com and it’ll come up.

The book is awesome–although the jeweler-author assumes that “everyone” will spend at least two months worth of salary and really advocates quality over quanity–meaning the quality of the diamond is more imortant than the size. Obviously that is up to personal preference.

However, we took his book and adapted it to our needs. I knew I didn’t want an engagement ring, but I wanted a wedding band with 3-5 raised diamonds on it. I settled on three because of the size, quality and symbolism. (My life, His life, Our life together.) As we were shopping, we were amazed by the junk that is out there at a very pricey take. Because we knew how important clarity and cut were in relation to carat size, we were able to spot diamond defects very easily–in fact, we had several jewelers tell us they felt like we knew more than they did! (Scary.) We looked at each ring under a 10x microscope (each jeweler has one, they’re very tiny and you just hold them over the ring) to see if they had black holes, cracks, crevices, etc. If the issues weren’t visible to the naked eye, we weren’t too worried. But we went for very high clarity and I get comments on my ring being “super sparkly” all the time. It’s amazing how many diamonds look sooooooo yellow when compared to a very clear diamond.

The book explains all this. Just skim it and get a good sense of what you want.

Something to keep in mind:

Platinum is popular now, especially since all the platinum in the world has already been mined. A few jewelers told us that our children may not have the option of buying platinum some day–therefore, it is the most expensive metal because it’s the most precious. It’s also the most enduring. Again, we chose platinum rings for the symbolism–we want our marriage to be “strong and everlasting.” 🙂

Make sure your bride doesn’t have any gold allergies. I do. Even if I had wanted a gold band, I couldn’t have worn one. However, gold is classic and traditional and will always be “in style.”

Also–just as a caveat, if you read the book, please totally ignore the author’s price listings. They’re simply way off for the average person shopping for rings. Unless you’re going to Harry Winston, you can easily keep your ring purchase to a few thousand or even a few hundred, depending on what your budget is.

We ended up spending about a month of my husband’s salary (before taxes). We got a playment plan with the jeweler (a credit card through their store) and made fast (and semi-hefty but reasonable) payments (interest free) during the last year. We are now done with it and own our rings.
Good luck and congrats!
 
According to his story for when he bought my engagement ring, that the day that he decided to actually shop and buy my engagement ring he already knew me and my taste in jewelry so well that he just walked up to the jewelry counter (it was a J.C. Penney store), immediately saw the ring, pointed to it and said – give me THAT one!

The sales person wanted to point to other rings below the counter… but he’d have none of it. Repeated “THAT one!”

I’m thrilled with my engagement ring. It’s one small diamond in a very classy, distinct, and SIMPLE setting.

I think he spent about 300 bucks for it. It was about a week’s worth of pay to him, after taxes.

Then and these days (many years later), he has tried to tell me that he’ll buy me a bigger diamond. I always tell him “don’t you dare! I LOVE this ring!!”

And I mean it.

When he flusters about “now that we have more money,” I just tell him that I am NOT a big fan of jewelry… and besides, if he wants to go out and spend money on a bigger diamond for me, to instead make me happy and give that money to the poorest of the poor (like the Missionaries of Africa).

Bottom line… do NOT spend what “the experts” tell you to spend. Unless THEY are willing to pony up that dough.

They’re not?!? :eek: Well, then… there’s your answer. :cool:

How much you spend on a ring is NOT the sign of how much you love her. Your keeping your holy vow… now THAT’s the sign of how much you love her, even on those days that happen in all marriages when sometimes you wonder…

Spend enough to get a good quality setting. A diamond is not necessarily the stone to choose. Depends on HER taste in jewelry.

P.S. The person who advised to NOT spend so much that your fiancee/wife would hesitate to take off her wedding ring to give to a robber is, although well intended, kinda beside the point if the case is that your fiancee/wife considers that ring to be irreplaceable (like SHE is).

😦

P.P.S. He paid all the expenses for the honeymoon. I paid all the expenses for the wedding.

P.P.P.S. Unless you want to propose without a ring in your hand, go ahead and buy the ring now. He had the ring, already. I would have felt kinda weird if I had to go along with him to pick out my engagement ring. I’m a traditional gal. WhatEVER ring you propose with will be fine, unless she’s not a traditional gal (like me).

P.P.P.P.S. I spent about 300 bucks on HIS wedding ring. He loved it. No diamond, but very masculine. Our ring’s styles are very different.

You could get an engagement ring for her in a style that would have a matching wedding ring style for you.

ecommerce.polygon.net/artcarved/detail.cfm?category=gentsdr
 
Get her what you want to get her… assuming you can afford it…

I recommend you take her with you and let her help you pick it out, that will eliminate you paying too much, and too little… good luck… 👍
 
how much should the engagement ring cost? Well at least more than your wedding band! I had to remind my husband of this when we were selecting wedding bands 😉 Seriously though get what you can afford, and consider other priorities in your life like schooling, cars, honeymoon, house, whatever other expenses you have. My engagement ring is gorgeous, white gold - not platinum - and a .25 carat diamond. It’s a princess (square) cut diamond, and that helps alot because the diamond appears much bigger than round cut diamonds of the same carat amount. Plus I’m his princess! I love the ring and I love knowing it didn’t put my husband into debt. It was only about $500. So my advice to you is go with what you can afford and feel comfortable with and remember the princess cut!
 
40.png
jmm08:
How much money do you have for a down payment on a house? Definitely only use a fraction of that money. Have some left over to buy the house. I didn’t go on a honeymoon. We both stayed and had a longer honeymoon. It won’t be a long honeymoon if there are big bills to come home to.

I think if the groom has a lot of credit card debt, then he should look for a solid 14K Gold ring (with a half-carot or third-carot cubic zirconia solitare). That way it will last. And it will look the same as one with a diamond. Probably only $120 US at the most. If the couple has improved financial circumstances and is then able to, they could replace the CZ with a real diamond (same size). Nobody would ever know.

To me, it is more false to buy an expensive ring on credit. The ring should always be one that cannot be repossessed (because of a loan default).

The commitment of the heart is what is important. And I think the bride can tell. Only if the groom can afford it and the bride also not in big debt, then I think it is OK to spend more. But not so much more that the bride would hesitate too long if an armed robber demanded it.

My Dad had a fraternity brother who eventually became a Division President of IBM (when IBM was still a very big deal). At one point, their family lived in a very big home. But his wife (my Mom’s sorority sister) always treasured her very modest engagement ring. Hey, she had a lot of other things to be very thankful for. I remember one large home had a few chip-and-put golf holes, a tennis court and a very nice in-ground pool. The smaller home before that had enough fireplaces to keep me busy counting them (as a child) during one Thanksgiving holiday. And they still have each other.

My own parents have been married now for almost 55 years. That WW2 generation really developed solid personal character.
Click to expand...
This is excellent advice! Time and time again I have met very wealthy older women with fancy cars and gigantic houses whose favorite piece of jewelry is a small engagement ring that cost well under what the experts tell you to pay. Even if you have the resources, I think a “too big” ring really makes a poor statement, that your marriage started with flush prosperity and didn’t involve the struggle that can bind a couple together. The engagement ring should certainly be the biggest present you have ever given her, but going into debt for it strikes me as silly as it would be to go into debt to give any other gift. A bride’s friends can sometimes be her worst enemies when she is beginning her marriage and they are encouraging her to compare her husband to others as a “catch” based on the cost of the ring.
 
When my mom remarried, my step-dad bought her a 2 carat diamond ring costing about $12,000…yup. She picked it out, he paid for it…unfortunately my mother has admitted that she married him for money…which she controls. He’s 20 years older than her, she’s a gold-digger.
 
Last year when we got engaged I bought mine on overnightdiamonds.com

I did my homework and got a great deal…much better than on bluenile.com or the stores

I bought an AGS diamond because they are the only graders who grade the cut, meaning that the online jewlers can’t cheat you…

Go to the stores…do your research and homework…figure out what she wants…and get the best deal you can
 
Don’t be afraid to be different! I see many people’s engagement rings at the university that I work at, and they all look the same–big diamond on a plain gold band. When my husband and I were looking at wedding rings, we found a set that had the most beautiful filigree patterns on it. There was a matching engagement ring that we could choose the diamond for. I was a very practical girl, and didn’t want something too big that I would snag or bump against things. We started looking at a 2 carat diamond and went down, and my husband did a dance of joy when I found the diamond I liked—a 1/8 carat stone with a small speck in it. I absolutely love it. It balances out the filigree on the band perfectly. The 3 ring set was under a grand. People always compliment us on the rings, and I just love that they are not flashy and ostentatious.

If she asks to return the ring for a bigger diamond (which I’ve heard of happening), is she really the woman for you?

In a nutshell, it’s not the size of the ring that matters. It’s the love that comes with it. Talk to her parents and see if there’s a family heriloom ring that you can use–that would touch her more than anything.
 
My “engagement ring” cost under $100. It’s an antique gold guard ring with three small rubies. I picked it out, and got my now husband to buy it, about a month after we decided to get married. I love it, because I don’t like diamonds, I really dislike prong-y settings of stones, and I have small hands, so something small looks better than something flashy.

I have to say I TOTALLY disagree with Minerva… For me, the wedding ring was the important one – after all, that is the ring that is the symbol of our sacramental marriage. I have a traditional Sardinian wedding band (my husband is Sardinian, and his uncle is a goldsmith). I almost didn’t have an engagement ring at all, because I told him that it was the wedding band that mattered most to me (but after I saw my cute little guard ring, and saw how cheap it was…).

I really recommend talking with your fiancee about it – though if you really want to do the surprise thing, you’re out of luck there!

Naprous
 
40.png
Makerteacher:
The jewelers will tell you that an engagement ring “should” run you about two months salary. :hmmm: I personally think that’s a bit high.
Click to expand...
That’s what the jewlers tell you. And how do they know? DeBeers (the diamond monopoly) took a survey to determine what people were spending. In order to boost sales, they came up with this rule of thumb to guilt people into spending more :eek:

And have you heard the latest trend in materialism? As your salary increases, you’re supposed to “trade up” your engagement ring!
 
Hey Son of Zebedee!

First of all, I think it’s hilarious that most of the respondents to your question are women! A few did give good advice, I admit, but the woman is the one who receives the ring, not the one who buys it. I think the idea of couples shopping for the ring together is hilarious. It’s a gift, for goodness sakes. It’s not like you’re shopping for the family minivan! The most you want to do as far as involving your fiancee is this: find out what style of cut she wants (pear, brilliant, marquis, etc.) and whether she like white or yellow gold. Then invest your money in the highest quality stone you can afford using the four c’s. Get a simple setting. Cut is really important because you may find a stone with very small inclusions but if it was not cut well, it will not sparkle. Stones tend to increase in price disproportionately when they cross certain thresholds. Thus, you can get away with a .89 CT stone instead of a full CT and save more than 11 percent. View the stone under a microscope or a loop, at least. The AGS suggestion is an excellent one. An AGS (or GIA, I think) jeweler can be trusted. The advice to not skimp because it will last a lifetime is good advice. There is something very unromantic and materialistic about “upgrading” the stone after a few years. Don’t even take your wallet into the store on your first few visits. Take a long time shopping.

BTW, I sold my motorcycle to buy an engagement ring (sigh…), but I don’t regret it even when it’s 78 degrees and not a cloud in the sky…

Congratulations–let us know when the big day is.

Chris C.

P.S. Have fun! Buying a diamond is a blast. Take your time. A Jeweler who says he can only offer you such and such a deal today only is not the one to do business with.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top