How Much Should be Spent on an Engagement Ring?

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Chris C.:
First of all, I think it’s hilarious that most of the respondents to your question are women! A few did give good advice, I admit, but the woman is the one who receives the ring, not the one who buys it. I think the idea of couples shopping for the ring together is hilarious. It’s a gift, for goodness sakes. It’s not like you’re shopping for the family minivan! The most you want to do as far as involving your fiancee is this: find out what style of cut she wants (pear, brilliant, marquis, etc.) and whether she like white or yellow gold.
Dare I suggest, Chris, that since it is the women who wear the rings, that we might actually have useful advice?

I love my husband dearly, but he has no eye for jewelry or anything else aesthetic. Lots of good will, but no eye. Did I want to be saddled with something I didn’t like to wear on my finger? No. Luckily, my husband does know that about me! Gifts don’t necessarily have to be surprises.

Naprous
 
Well Naprous

of course I said what I said with a smile, but I still believe it. To each his own, I suppose, but I am fairly reactionary, and I think engagement rings should be suprises. A gentlemen can certainly make a modest amount of effort to discover his future bride’s taste, and then takes his time doing research. On the other hand, I suppose your husband can be grateful that you are willing to do his legwork for him!

God Bless

C
 
My mother-in-law told me to “go for something big!!!” however I preferred a nice little solitaire with a round stone. My wedding ring is a simple band that cost $50 at Sears. The solitaire and band go wonderfully together.

I too am a little old fashioned and I loved the surprise. Although, I found out afterward that my hubby had purchased the ring and didn’t surprise me with it until six months later.
 
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naprous:
Dare I suggest, Chris, that since it is the women who wear the rings, that we might actually have useful advice?

I love my husband dearly, but he has no eye for jewelry or anything else aesthetic. Lots of good will, but no eye. Did I want to be saddled with something I didn’t like to wear on my finger? No. Luckily, my husband does know that about me! Gifts don’t necessarily have to be surprises.

Naprous
Oh my God! Word to this! I was engaged last year ( we broke it off, he cheated) But when he proposed, it was a pear shaped diamond in 14k gold. I really don’t like pear cut stones, and I have a gold allergy, so the entire time I wore it, My finger was green and a little swollen. I have to say my favorite part of that ring, was taking it off and throwing it at him when I found out. I should have known he wasn’t the right one when I saw that ring.
 
All you diamond lovers might be interested to know the fact that diamonds are not rare. In fact over an estimated billion tons are reported to be on the continental shelf around South Africa. The DeBeers company has artificially made them rare to manipulate the price. They are behind “Diamonds are a girls best friend” and have created a demand and limited the supply.

Bottom line - don’t overspend by thinking you have something rare.

DeBeers Pleads Guilty to Price Fixing

Diamonds, DeBeers and Destruction:
 
All women have opinions about engagement rings, so I’ll give mine!
  1. Your fiancee will have it sitting on her finger for the rest of her life (hopefully), so let her get involved in the decision (if she wants to). You can make the purchase and present it to her as a gift in a meaningful gesture. (My husband knew I wanted to design my own engagement ring with a sapphire. So he presented me with a sapphire and diamond pendant necklace when he proposed. We designed the ring together.)
  2. Do not put so much money on her finger that she will regret it and be the target of thieves. (This is something I came to after being robbed a few times!)
  3. Suggest to her something other than a diamond. I (and Princess Diana) have a sapphire. Other precious gems that are lovely choices are rubies and emeralds.
Unless you are really wealthy (with assets over $1 million), you should keep it to under $5000 (cost adjusted from when I got married). Significantly more than that seems like it would detract from starting your new life together. (Though you can get something absolutely lovely for $1000 too.)
 
How about a completely different idea?

Check out this website.
www.moissanite.com

I got my wife a moissanite ring. It is superior in quality to diamond in almost every way. It is still slightly less hard than diamond, but is harder than all the other gems. (which means the only way you could scratch it is with a diamond) With moisonite you don’t have to worry about the quality of the stone, just what color you want, what cut you want and how big a stone you want. What is the best is that it is dramatically less expensive than diamond.

I bought my wife a three stone ring (equivalent to about 1.3 kt of diamonds) for about $1000. If I had done the same with diamonds of a similiar quality I would have had to pay more than $6000.

However I must warn you

I would not just do this without having any idea how your fiance would feel about not having “a real diamond” (even though moisonite is superior). I have talked to many women about this who have said they would rather the real diamond. I happened to be lucky since I saw a special on it on 20/20 with my wife when we were dating and her being a Chemistry major at the time thought it was the coolest thing since it is man-made (naturally occuring it is much more rare than diamonds) She practically told me that I better not waste our money on a diamond.

So good luck.
 
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