How much should physical attraction matter?

[babochka]

2.) The fact that she’s trying to lose the weight shows you that she cares about health. She sounds like a wonderful person who was given this cross to bear in life. No one is perfect, and if this issue really bothers you, you have a couple of options. You could break up with this girl, but just know that if that’s the case, she deserves better. You could try and join a gym with her, or maybe just eat healthful foods. You know, it’s difficult to lose weight because for the most part, it is caused by emotions. If she’s feeling your reluctance to become close with her because of her weight, this could in turn, drive her to eat more for depression/anxiety. The least you could do is be supportive of her, not only with encouraging comments, but by actions. Understand that this issue is one of the most difficult ones, and that she’s trying her best. She’s only human, and again, no one is perfect.

I think that it is really important that you learn to accept her as she is and to realize that she will likely gain weight with time (and babies), rather than lose it. Even if she were to lose weight now, the odds are not in her favor for keeping it off long term. The term “yo-yo” dieting exists because it is common. If you encourage her to lose weight and she does, then you find yourself attracted to her, what will you do if and when the weight comes back on? Also, it might not really be her weight that is preventing you from being physically attracted to her. The weight might be something tangible that you can name, but physical attraction isn’t really something you can pin down.

I don’t necessarily think that a great deal of physical attraction is absolutely necessary for a good marriage, but honesty is. If you told her how you really feel, I suspect her feelings would be deeply hurt and your decision would be made for you.

 

[kelvinf]

I am just wondering how you finally decided.?.?.?.