I live with my Protestant parents, who are also my caretakers. This is the first year I’ve really gotten to practice my faith and I’m wondering how best to balance my faith with making extra work for them. They’ve been good about transporting me on Sunday and holy days, but what about things that are optional or where I could get a dispensation? For example, I try to get regular plenary indulgences, and it’ll soon be twenty days since my last confession. I’m not in mortal sin. Should I ask anyway? What about Lent when that comes? I’ve been trying to eat fish on Friday to get into the habit, but I got into a small argument with my Dad because I unknowingly made Mom cook when she didn’t feel well. What do I do if that happens during Lent? And that doesn’t even get into things like First Friday that I’d like to do or how we’ll negotiate Christmas. (Christmas has always been for family).
Various other posters have articulated well points that you should consider.
Parishes today often have a well organised ministry to those with health challenges and the home-bound and you should investigate this as well. Even though you are able to be present for some things, it sounds as though other things represent an increasing burden and this parish ministry may be able to relieve some of the burden.
For example, the nine First Fridays promise is connected with reception of Communion; it does not necessitate attending Mass. An Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion could facilitate that for you by bringing the Eucharist to you at home.
In a similar way, if the priest(s) of your parish understand the burden that transportation represents, arrangements can be made for one of them to hear your confession in conjunction with one of the times you are already at church as opposed to necessitating another trip.
When we are dependent upon the care of others, obligations such as fast and abstinence are distinctly different.
Frankly, though, since none of us know you, your condition(s), and your limitations or your requirements, none of us have the ability to give meaningful guidance on issues like fast and abstinence since you may have certain nutritional requirements, etc.
All else being equal, as others have said, the Friday penance is to abstain from meat…not to eat fish. Penance should impose sacrifice upon us…it should not constitute a burden for others, above all those who are providing care.
That is why much of this involves matters you should discuss personally with your parish priest, so that you receive guidance that is tailored to your unique situations and all the circumstances and that also takes into account what may be possible for others to help with, that take into account the resources available in your parish, as well as the parish priest’s power of dispensation and commutation.
(One thing to remember for Christmas is that parishes today have a Mass of Christmas beginning in the afternoon on Christmas eve…a Mass which would fulfill the Christmas obligation. Many young families find these the most convenient option and avail themselves of these Masses.)
