How much would it offend God?

[anon98328916]

I have a friend who is gay and when the time comes when they get married I don’t know what I should do? I feel in my heart of hearts it’s wrong but if I don’t go to their wedding they will be hurt and maybe we could falloutIt’s going to force my to choose between my Catholic beliefs and my friendship! And I don’t want to fallout with anyone but God must come first…it’s a tricky situation…anyone else in or faces with this problem?

 

[1ke]

I have a friend who is gay and when the time comes when they get married I don’t know what I should do?

If you mean at attempt to marry someone of the same sex, you cannot support it. The church is clear on this.

I feel in my heart of hearts it’s wrong but if I don’t go to their wedding they will be hurt and maybe we could falloutIt’s going to force my to choose between my Catholic beliefs and my friendship! And I don’t want to fallout with anyone but God must come first…it’s a tricky situation…anyone else in or faces with this problem?

There are many passages in the bible regarding this, because Christ knew that following God could and would bring strife to family and friends.

It is not easy, but of course we must follow Christ always.

 

[anon98328916]

There are many passages in the bible regarding this, because Christ knew that following God could and would bring strife to family and friends.

It is not easy, but of course we must follow Christ always.

True and thank you. Jesus must come first above everyone and everything in this world. I guess it’s part of picking up the cross and following Jesus?

 

[EasterJoy]

The candidate Tim Kaine expressed the thought that the Catholic Church might change on this. The answer is unequivocal: “no, that is not going to happen.”

USCCB Committee Chairs Reaffirm The Catholic Church’s Teaching On Marriage
usccb.org/news/2016/16-120.cfm

September 14, 2016
WASHINGTON—Two USCCB committee chairmen have issued a joint statement reaffirming the Catholic Church’s teaching on marriage “as exclusively the permanent, faithful, and fruitful union of one man and one woman [and] cannot change.”

Archbishop Allen H. Vigneron of Detroit, chairman of the USCCB Committee on Doctrine and Bishop Richard Malone of Buffalo, New York, chairman of the USCCB Committee on Laity, Marriage, Family Life and Youth, issued the following statement:

God’s Plan Doesn’t Change

Joint Statement from Archbishop Allen H. Vigneron, Chairman of the USCCB Committee on Doctrine and Bishop Richard Malone, chairman of the USCCB Committee on Laity, Marriage, Family Life and Youth

As pastors of the Church it is timely to reaffirm the Church’s authoritative teaching about marriage as it comes to us from God as the author of creation and of revelation. The Catholic Church’s teaching on marriage as exclusively the permanent, faithful, and fruitful union of one man and one woman cannot change.

As the Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches, hearkening back to the timeless words of the Book of Genesis: “‘The intimate community of life and love which constitutes the married state has been established by the Creator and endowed by him with its own proper laws…. God himself is the author of marriage.’ The vocation to marriage is written in the very nature of man and woman as they came from the hand of the Creator” (CCC, no. 1603). And despite so many various cultural changes and understandings, this “order of creation persists…” (no. 1608).

This teaching was repeated by the Holy Father in his Encyclical “On the Care for Our Common Home” (Laudato Si’), where Pope Francis encourages all of us to work together on respecting the gift of nature, the gift of God’s creation. In particular, Pope Francis calls attention to “the relationship between human life and the moral law, which is inscribed in our nature…” (LS, no. 155). We cause great harm to ourselves, to each other, and to the world when we ignore the moral law given to us by God and inscribed in our very nature. The goodness and beautiful diversity of God’s creation does not include those things that are consequences of our sins.

The attempt to redefine the essential meaning of marriage is acting against the Creator. It cannot be morally justified, “for he commanded and they were created; and he established them for ever and ever; he fixed their bounds and he set a law which cannot pass away” (Ps 148:5b-6). Therefore, as a community and a nation, we cannot make progress in human development if we “think that the weakening of the family as that natural society founded on marriage will prove beneficial to society as a whole” (Amoris Laetitia, no. 52).

May all of us work together for the common good, which includes the responsibility to protect, preserve, and strengthen marriage.

 

[mommy_k]

If your friend is a true friend they will not put you in a circumstance that will cause you to compromise your religious beliefs.

 

[pensmama87]

If your friend is a true friend they will not put you in a circumstance that will cause you to compromise your religious beliefs.

Yes.

Good friends can and do disagree, sometimes even about very important subjects. If a person puts your friendship on the line because of a sincerely held religious belief about an action, not about him as a person, then that is his problem, even if it hurts you.

I’ve lost many friends, unfortunately, despite my attempts to be as kind and non-confrontational as possible, while still remaining true to my beliefs. It is hard. But it was not me who closed the door on the friendship.

 

[LittleFlower378]

I have a friend who is gay and when the time comes when they get married I don’t know what I should do? I feel in my heart of hearts it’s wrong but if I don’t go to their wedding they will be hurt and maybe we could falloutIt’s going to force my to choose between my Catholic beliefs and my friendship! And I don’t want to fallout with anyone but God must come first…it’s a tricky situation…anyone else in or faces with this problem?

In my opinion, it would be scandal to attend that event. So you would be doing more harm than good to your friend.

 

[EasterJoy]

If your friend is a true friend they will not put you in a circumstance that will cause you to compromise your religious beliefs.

I wouldn’t expect them to look at this as if they were asking a Jew to eat pork. Just sayin

 

[Irishmom2]

There are 52 threads about attending gay marriage ceremonies.

You might want to look at this one: forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=839027&highlight=Attending+wedding+of+gay+couple

 

[PraiseChrist]

I have a friend who is gay and when the time comes when they get married I don’t know what I should do? I feel in my heart of hearts it’s wrong but if I don’t go to their wedding they will be hurt and maybe we could falloutIt’s going to force my to choose between my Catholic beliefs and my friendship! And I don’t want to fallout with anyone but God must come first…it’s a tricky situation…anyone else in or faces with this problem?

It’s a difficult situation, but just tell this person the truth, and you can tell them that you will be praying for them in your Rosary.
You’re obviously gonna be rewarded for your sacrifices.

All the best

 

[EasterJoy]

It’s a difficult situation, but just tell this person the truth, and you can tell them that you will be praying for them in your Rosary.
You’re obviously gonna be rewarded for your sacrifices.

All the best

It is also permitted to send regrets without an explanation, particularly when the Gospel message is known by the persons you would be preaching to and has been rejected. You do not have to thrown pearls before swine and get torn up.

 

[holyrood]

Yes.

Good friends can and do disagree, sometimes even about very important subjects. If a person puts your friendship on the line because of a sincerely held religious belief about an action, not about him as a person, then that is his problem, even if it hurts you.

I’ve lost many friends, unfortunately, despite my attempts to be as kind and non-confrontational as possible, while still remaining true to my beliefs. It is hard. But it was not me who closed the door on the friendship.

Agreed.

I get so tired of the notion in this day and age that it’s always one side who’s causing difficulty to another. No realization that pressing someone to act against their faith is wrong and puts a stress on friendship.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

It is also permitted to send regrets without an explanation, particularly when the Gospel message is known by the persons you would be preaching to and has been rejected. You do not have to thrown pearls before swine and get torn up.

A lot of times people make this harder than it needs to be. " I’m so sorry, I won’t be able to attend. I wish you all the best!"

And if they can’t accept that or push you further then they aren’t really acting appropriately.

 

[Elena321]

If it’s a close friend who won’t accept just an impersonal “sorry,can’t attend” and would want to know why etc then If i was personally in your situation I would factor into my decision (regarding whether to attend or not ) whether your friend would take it as a personal rejection.
If you think they would,then is it possible to be open with your friend and tell him that due to being Catholic you have certain beliefs about gay marriage and does he still want you attending even though he knows that’s your belief?
If he still wants you to attend,then you could go to support your friendship but at the same time you have made it clear you don’t support the marriage.

Someone suggested that it would be a scandal to attend,but then on the other hand sometimes people can be pushed further away from the Catholic Church/Christianity if they feel they are being personally rejected.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

If it’s a close friend who won’t accept just an impersonal “sorry,can’t attend” and would want to know why etc then If i was personally in your situation I would factor into my decision (regarding whether to attend or not ) whether your friend would take it as a personal rejection.
If you think they would,then is it possible to be open with your friend and tell him that due to being Catholic you have certain beliefs about gay marriage and does he still want you attending even though he knows that’s your belief?
If he still wants you to attend,then you could go to support your friendship but at the same time you have made it clear you don’t support the marriage.

Someone suggested that it would be a scandal to attend,but then on the other hand sometimes people can be pushed further away from the Catholic Church/Christianity if they feel they are being personally rejected.

What if one had children. Would you recommend bringing young children if they were invited?

If they are close enough not to accept a simple POLITE decline then they are close enough to realize they are disrespecting a catholic’s faith by pushing the issue.

It’s my experience, and I’ve had several people close to me have ss"m"s. It’s my experience that people don’t necessarily ask questions they don’t want to know the answers to unless they are looking for some sort of battle.

 

[EasterJoy]

A lot of times people make this harder than it needs to be. " I’m so sorry, I won’t be able to attend. I wish you all the best!"

And if they can’t accept that or push you further then they aren’t really acting appropriately.

Exactly. It is not polite to push someone for a reason they are turning down a social invitation. It is perfectly true, for example, to say, “I’m sorry, I can’t take you up on your invitation, I have a conflict.”

In the end, yes, it is necessary when put on the spot to tell the truth, but the main idea is to see to our own souls and reserve preaching and correction for those who are disposed to hear it. Entrust others who do not show signs of being disposed to hear any correction to the patient care and judgement of God, as only God knows which facet of His Mercy and Justice is suitable to whom, and when, and in what way:

Now who is going to harm you if you are enthusiastic for what is good? But even if you should suffer because of righteousness, blessed are you. Do not be afraid or terrified with fear of them, but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts. Always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope, but do it with gentleness and reverence, keeping your conscience clear, so that, when you are maligned, those who defame your good conduct in Christ may themselves be put to shame. For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that be the will of God, than for doing evil.
1 Pet. 3:13-17

Whoever will not receive you or listen to your words—go outside that house or town and shake the dust from your feet. Matt. 10:14

Stop judging, that you may not be judged. For as you judge, so will you be judged, and the measure with which you measure will be measured out to you. Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove that splinter from your eye,’ while the wooden beam is in your eye? You hypocrite, remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother’s eye. Do not give what is holy to dogs, or throw your pearls before swine, lest they trample them underfoot, and turn and tear you to pieces. Matt 7:1-6

In practically the same breath with the warning not to judge or to venture to offer correction before examining ourselves, Our Lord recognized that there are others who should not be offered correction or holy wisdom because they’re so obviously not going to hear it.

Do not give the impression, however, that the holy ones tolerate what we have been commanded to avoid, only that we tolerate and hope for mercy towards all persons, whether they seem to be more or less advanced than we are in the moral struggle this life inflicts. That is misleading without using words to preach the falsehood.

 

[Elena321]

What if one had children. Would you recommend bringing young children if they were invited?

If they are close enough not to accept a simple POLITE decline then they are close enough to realize they are disrespecting a catholic’s faith by pushing the issue.

It’s my experience, and I’ve had several people close to me have ss"m"s. It’s my experience that people don’t necessarily ask questions they don’t want to know the answers to unless they are looking for some sort of battle.

I wouldnt recommend bringing young chiildren.

Op:I would ask your priest if it is a sin or ok to attend and i would state to your friend your beliefs and ask him to accept this.

Social etiquete/behaviour varies from country to country.
It sounds like in America people think it is not polite to ask why cant attend something imprtant but where i am from its very possible that close friend/family would ask why (in a curious way).
Due to the serious matter-the fact you think it could affect the friendship-i would talk to a preist about attending/not attending.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

I wouldnt recommend bringing young chiildren.

Op:I would ask your priest if it is a sin or ok to attend and i would state to your friend your beliefs and ask him to accept this.

Social etiquete/behaviour varies from country to country.
It sounds like in America people think it is not polite to ask why cant attend something imprtant but where i am from its very possible that close friend/family would ask why (in a curious way).
Due to the serious matter-the fact you think it could affect the friendship-i would talk to a preist about attending/not attending.

Weird. You would bring children because why again?

 

[EasterJoy]

I wouldnt recommend bringing young chiildren.

Op:I would ask your priest if it is a sin or ok to attend and i would state to your friend your beliefs and ask him to accept this.

Social etiquete/behaviour varies from country to country.
It sounds like in America people think it is not polite to ask why cant attend something imprtant but where i am from its very possible that close friend/family would ask why (in a curious way).
Due to the serious matter-the fact you think it could affect the friendship-i would talk to a preist about attending/not attending.

They’re free to ask, and of course family members don’t necessarily stand on courtesy. Normally, though, it is assumed when a wedding date is set that not everyone will be able to make it. If a couple finds a date that works for 2/3 of the people they’d like to have there, they’re doing pretty well.

 

[ConfusedLucy]

I think whatever you say it will be an uncomfortable conversation. I would really try to tread carefully if you decide you can’t go.