How not to break my promise to God?

[lifesoldier]

Please help me! Yesterday, before confesion, I asked God to help me make a good confesion. I promised to Him that I would pray 150 “Gloria Patri” prayers every day of this week. Now I am very confused. How deep to I have to go in this prayer? I wouldn’t worry that much if I hadn’t PROMISED to God that I am going to pray. And now, I feel like every Gloria Patri that doesn’t examine fulness of Catholic Trinity philosophy is invalid and that I am cheating God, because I promised Him something and He helped me. How deep does the prayer have to be?
SORRY FOR BAD ENGLISH!

 

[1ke]

Stop making compulsive promises to God. Talk to your confessor about this problem.

 

[friardchips]

Stop making compulsive promises to God. Talk to your confessor about this problem.

 

[lifesoldier]

Stop making compulsive promises to God. Talk to your confessor about this problem.

What’s wrong with my promises?

 

[friardchips]

What’s wrong with my promises?

The truth is (and this is not taking anything away from your fervour) that in the Bible it says about not promising anything. The only one who can promise anything is God because we cannot know if we will even see tomorrow. It is better to make a commitment. For example, people who have sacramental obligations, such as with the Scapular - they make definite commitments to pray a certain amount each day. Our Lady didn’t say to the children of Fatima and Lourdes: "Now promise right now to do this, this and this; rather, she was gentle and said…try and pray, or pray the…not promise that you will. And this starts with yourself. The first thing is Sunday Mass and not doing anything that is grave negligence like missing that. Over and above, make serious commitments. And if you miss, then at least you are not going back on a promise, but you would still have reason to be sorry if you had said to God that this was a commitment and is on your conscience.

Much of the time if we make promises, time will reveal that we are not in a position to make them in the first place.

Be patient and gentle with yourself as God is with you. But your fervour is commendable.

 

[Beryllos]

What’s wrong with my promises?

Here is a CAF thread with some good responses about bargaining with God:
CAF - Does God bargain with men?
and I will quote from a few of the responses:

No bargaining allowed or needed; just follow His words and His Son’s example.

If God does not wish to give you something, then he will not give it to you. Likewise, if God wishes to give you something, he will give it to you on his own time. Whatever choice he makes is the one that is best for you: not because you willed it, but because he did. … Ask that God’s will be done, and if he wills it for you, then pray for the patience to wait for it.

The desire to bargain, I think, is borne through out of a sense of impatience…

My own thoughts

• We should not dare to think that we have control over God.
• It is not our place to define the terms of a contract with God.
• God knows what we need, even better than we know.

So trust in God’s love and providence. If you desire to give something to God, give him your love.

 

[1ke]

What’s wrong with my promises?

Promises, vows, and oaths are not trivial things. They should not be made in such a manner, “if you give me this, I will do that”. They should also not be undertaken without spiritual direction.

Both your seeming need to make such promises, coupled with your anxiety/compulsive statements about doing prayer correctly and having fear of needing to start over or not having done them correctly, leads me to believe there are deeper issues you are dealing with that need priestly counsel and intervention.

Compulsive behaviors are signs of more serious spiritual issues.

 

[1ke]

And do you not recognize that promising to say 150 Glory Be prayers each day this week is excessive in the extreme?

 

[John_Martin]

Invariably during some of the Ave Maria’s of the Rosary we let our minds wander, and the only thing keeping us on track is the movement from bead to bead at those times when suddenly there is a space in the beads that returns our awareness.

What is that awareness that comes back? Hopefully that we realize we are addressing a real person (perhaps at that point we should apologize to that person, Mary, for losing sight of her in our speech).

You may want to use your rosary in continuing your Gloria Patri’s, to insert breaks like that to remember who you are talking to, Father, Son, and Spirit. Throw in an apology or two when needed.

You do not have to examine the theology of the Trinity when praying this, it is a Blessing of God by declaring a blessing of “Glory” onto his Name. It is a shout of joy, which you now feel because he helped you have a good confession. “The Father helped my, Glory be to the Father!!!, The Son helped me; Glory be to the Son!!!, The Holy Spirit helped me; Glory be to the Holy Spirit!!!” That’s all the deeper you must go, just being happy you know these three persons and that they come to your aid.

You made what was a steep promise because to show God how seriously you wanted this good confession. He did not help you to get 150 prayers a day, not because of a bartering with Him. He would help you without any promise, yet he also saw your earnestness and your desire to renew your friendship with him. That is what he hopes to see in those who turn to him, and he loves to help them.

Try using the Rosary beads as a counter, to keep your focus, but focus on words of simply gladness about him being your God, who helps you.

(Oh, you are lifesoldier - I think I saw your posting on another thread a while back - all the best: John Martin)

 

[lifesoldier]

You all have missunderstood me! I said promise because I am not really good in English and I could find another word for it. So it’s not the problem. It’s not a bargain because when I said I am going to pray, that was it, so I would pray even if God miraculacly took priest out of confesion room and made it impossible for me to go to confesion. It was just because I didn’t have time to pray enough before confesion and I sinned less then an hour before confesion so I felt I am not sorry enough because there was sinful way of thinking still in me, even though I tried to get it out. I was trying to make disbilief in my power not to sin, by God’s grace, go away.
SORRY FOR BAD ENGLISH!

 

[lifesoldier]

And do you not recognize that promising to say 150 Glory Be prayers each day this week is excessive in the extreme?

Why??? It’s like rosary (maybe a little harder). Besides, you can never pray too much and God’s grace to forgive me is beyond all limits…

 

[lifesoldier]

Invariably during some of the Ave Maria’s of the Rosary we let our minds wander, and the only thing keeping us on track is the movement from bead to bead at those times when suddenly there is a space in the beads that returns our awareness.

What is that awareness that comes back? Hopefully that we realize we are addressing a real person (perhaps at that point we should apologize to that person, Mary, for losing sight of her in our speech).

You may want to use your rosary in continuing your Gloria Patri’s, to insert breaks like that to remember who you are talking to, Father, Son, and Spirit. Throw in an apology or two when needed.

You do not have to examine the theology of the Trinity when praying this, it is a Blessing of God by declaring a blessing of “Glory” onto his Name. It is a shout of joy, which you now feel because he helped you have a good confession. “The Father helped my, Glory be to the Father!!!, The Son helped me; Glory be to the Son!!!, The Holy Spirit helped me; Glory be to the Holy Spirit!!!” That’s all the deeper you must go, just being happy you know these three persons and that they come to your aid.

You made what was a steep promise because to show God how seriously you wanted this good confession. He did not help you to get 150 prayers a day, not because of a bartering with Him. He would help you without any promise, yet he also saw your earnestness and your desire to renew your friendship with him. That is what he hopes to see in those who turn to him, and he loves to help them.

Try using the Rosary beads as a counter, to keep your focus, but focus on words of simply gladness about him being your God, who helps you.

(Oh, you are lifesoldier - I think I saw your posting on another thread a while back - all the best: John Martin)

Thank you! That makes sense!

 

[John_Martin]

LifeSoldier, I just joined you in ten of your Gloria Patri’s, and my reason for blessing his Name is that he helped you - he is a “Glorious God” for his love and kindness.