How often have you been through a "dark night of the soul"?

  • Thread starter Thread starter almost2
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
A

almost2

Guest
How often have you been thru a “dark night of the soul”?
Andcan you tell or learn when it is happening?
 
Last edited:
Hi almost2,

It happened to me once, many years ago.

How did I know…?

Well, I just felt kind of “indifferent” inside when it came to being spiritual. It’s rather difficult to explain.

It felt like God was really far away from me, or that I was far away from Him.

I knew in my heart that something wasn’t quite right about it. It didn’t feel right to me.

I knew and understood that this could happen to us in our spiritual life at some point along the way, so I wasn’t too afraid or too worried about it.

I just kept on going to Mass and Adoration, and kept on praying, and doing everything else that one would normally do as a Catholic.

This dark period/phase lasted for several months, and then it passed.

I haven’t experienced it again since then.

God bless you. 🙂
 
I wouldn’t call it a dark night but I’ve had a few periods of purgation.

For lack of a better phrase I felt like my prayer bone was broke, it was an immense amount of work to just sit down every day to pray. God felt as far away as possible. I felt indifferent towards a lot of things- food (I suddenly had no clear preference for I wanted to eat), physical comfort or discomfort. Things I enjoyed once were no longer enjoyable, I generally wanted to be alone in a quiet place for contemplation, even though prayer took a ton of willpower and was often painful.

In spite of these seemingly negative aspects I had a very real sense of calm and if what I’ve called “the deepening”, meaning I knew I was growing nearer to God but it was in a way beyond my perception, like I was trying to listen to a conversation through a wall.

It’s a difficult thing to explain. And it wasn’t pleasant, but at the same time I had a great peace within me that made it bearable. I also cried a lot (I had to stop watching the news) when I would think about my own sins and the people in the world who are lost and in pain but won’t turn to Christ. I saw things (my earthly life, this piece of history I live in) within the context of eternity. I also gained a deeper appreciation for certain aspects of some of the saint’s writings.

And I asked for St. Mother Teresa’s intercession a lot, as well as the Blessed Virign.
 
I have had many dark nights. They seem to come when I make a specific effort to deepen certain areas of my spirituality or around times of great spiritual worth like the taking of my vows.

The dark night comes and goes when it is needed. Sometimes it creeps up upon you. You do not know it has arrived until one day you reach out to God and realize that you haven’t felt His presence in a long time. Other times it is a harsh feeling of deprivation, almost violent in nature, as you feel like He is ripped away from you. Sometimes you do not even realize you are in the midst of the dark night until our Lord lifts you out of it. Every dark night is unique, both to the individual and to each occurrence in the individual’s life.
 
Last edited:
People throw this phrase around pretty loosely, usually meaning just a dry period of prayer or difficult times. Just be aware that John of the Cross defined it much differently. The “dark night” for John was the intense, painful longing for God and feeling his complete absence,even for some saints, condemnation when they were simultaneously aware that they had not sinned in grievous ways. John likens the agony of love and longing as similar to Jesus’ cry on the cross, "My God, My God Why Have You Abandoned Me? For John, this is an intense purgative “fire” that purifies faith, hope, and charity and prepares the soul for high glory in heaven.
You can read all about it in John of the Cross, “The Dark Night of the Soul.”
 
Yes. I hate to put it this way but my time in the wilderness has been ongoing for more than 6 1/2 years. (Sounds depressing)
It began very clearly in the fall of 2011 with a strong dissatisfaction with my career (I was a classroom teacher who was bored). I really wanted to relocate…still do, but cannot do so and keep my family together at the same time. I entered a masters degree program to enter administration…make more $, change the rhythm of the day, improve my skill set and hopefully make a difference. Big mistake.

After two years of darkness, I was on my knees literally and figuratively. I entered RCIA w/ my wife and we both entered the Church at Easter '14. The spiritual commitment and continued work of the Church and graces of the Sacraments have been the only…and I repeat, only thing that has been positive in this journey.

I was fortunate to get two positions in school admin and am currently working at a discipline alternative school. I cannot express how awful each attempt that I’ve made for a positive turnaround in non-spiritual areas of my life has seemed to turn out. The darkness and despair of the everyday is overwhelming.

There is exercise…both spiritual and physical that helps in the moment. There are applications sent out and hope for change…yet the ongoing sentiment and absence of feedback seems to amount to “well, if you were any good, why are you there to begin with?”

I found this thread after Reconciliation this afternoon and am moved for some reason to share. I understand how horribly ungrateful it sounds to complain about such things keeping in mind there are people who are going through real actual problems and many who would happily trade places with me.

I can’t help but believe that this is a spiritual journey and the emptiness, dissatisfaction and despair has a deeper meaning. I realize that I’ve come to the point of no longer believing in feel-good “turnarounds”. I doubt very strongly in rewards for sacrifice and hard work…that should simply be a given…and that consolation From anything material is utterly pointless. Maybe that is the point all along.
 
Last edited:
There’s a stark difference between a dark night and desolation and aridity. Which is why I hesitate to designate my experiences as a dark night, although St. John and others do talk about different periods of purgation with different emphasis on aspects of the senses and spirit.
 
I’ve seen “the dark night” tossed around so much on these boards that I avoided reading John of the Cross for over a year once I found out where the phrase came from. It seemed pretty clear to me that it was an easily misunderstood concept. I chose to go through the unshakable grief, crushing confusion, and excruciating pain I was experiencing and worry about defining it later.

One day I read a short blog entry which mentioned two dark nights. Hmmm, there are two? At that point I read it for myself. The first dark night is the dark night of the senses. It’s an actual spiritual state, not just a general bad time in life, though it is often accompanied by psychological depression. I think that’s what I was going through. I’ll never really know, though; there was no help to be found.

It lasted eighteen months. It ended abruptly, though three days later and for the last six months I’ve been going through something that has manifested in my life similarly to that “dark night.” But this time it’s very much a human problem. Not a dark night. God is done. My human enemy wasn’t. Isn’t.

Oh good heavens, can I expect this to happen more than once? I didn’t read about the second dark night. Closing my eyes and plugging my ears… lalalalala…
 
I’m so sorry for your struggles, @MrsAngelala.

Sometimes it seems as though, “When it rains, it really pours on us.”

I pray that everything will turn around for you. ❤️
 
jkw42 said:
I cannot express how awful each attempt that I’ve made for a positive turnaround in non-spiritual areas of my life has seemed to turn out. The darkness and despair of the everyday is overwhelming.
Click to expand...
My dark night started years and years ago. When it first started I didn’t know what was going on. Just trouble after trouble and God was nowhere to be found. Instead God seemed to receive joy from my trouble. I would pray and get the exact opposite. Every door in my life was shut, every relationship shattered, and forget about my “professional career,” it was over never to return. Slowly, ever so slowly it dawned on me that God was far away and would not answer my prayers but instead seemed to do the opposite because I was still relying on myself for my life. So God said “go ahead, but when you reach rock bottom there is only me.”

So I reached rock bottom a year ago. I gave up on me. I came back to God and relied on him to heal my relationships, which he did but not in the way I would have done it of course. So am I out of the dark night? Not completely. My ego is still there for my “professional career” and I know it. God is silent with me regarding that area and all doors are still firmly shut. As you say all attempts at a positive turnaround in that area have been met with disaster. I wait… it is my problem, I know.
jkw42 said:
I can’t help but believe that this is a spiritual journey and the emptiness, dissatisfaction and despair has a deeper meaning. I realize that I’ve come to the point of no longer believing in feel-good “turnarounds”. I doubt very strongly in rewards for sacrifice and hard work…that should simply be a given…and that consolation From anything material is utterly pointless. Maybe that is the point all along.
Click to expand...
Yes that is the point. Our egos want rewards for OUR hard work, education, experience, etc. Society says we should have that. But why do some of us don’t? God doesn’t want that for us. He wants us. Easy thing to realize, hard thing to live by. God wants me to be a nobody and rely on him only? Nah, can’t be. But it is. For those of us who go through the dark night and realize what it is, there is only one way to come out of it but our egos will fight it tooth and nail to the end. My ego is still fighting.
 
RKS89 said:
And I asked for St. Mother Teresa’s intercession a lot, as well as the Blessed Virign.
Click to expand...
Speaking of Mother Teresa. I read that she went through the dark night for most of her life all the way until her death. People say “why?” I believe it was because God wanted her to shed her ego. What??? Mother Teresa didn’t have an ego! Why yes she did. I heard that she controlled her ministry very tightly and I remember seeing her on TV all the time with important people. She thoroughly enjoyed the limelight. Mother Teresa used to say that God did not talk to her after he told her to go to Calcutta. Well maybe he did, it’s just not what she wanted to hear. Maybe he told her to give up her ministry and retire. But she couldn’t do that - it was hers, or so her ego told her. So God stayed silent, waiting on her.

Just my two cents. The ego is what needs to be destroyed in the dark night.
 
Truth be told, I am not sure how it feels to be in a situation of ‘dark night of the soul’. Yes, saints like Thomas Aquinas or Mother Teresa did experience it.

Probably for me, the closest thing is maybe a period of dryness, the desert experience, if you may. But usually if it happens to me, it is because of laziness, like neglect of personal prayers or meditation of the word. However, usually these are easily rectified by ‘coming back’ to the Lord by once again embarking on a serious intense spiritual life.

I find that the Holy Spirit is a faithful God, in the sense that if I give times for Him, He would never fail to give back in kind. Like they say, I can’t never outgive God.

Going for retreat is always a practical thing to do to go back to the Lord, whereby I can always expect something to happen - that I would experience God.

God bless.
 
You bring up a good point we all need to be mindful of- desolation and dryness are either our own doing (not praying or doing so half-heartedly, missing Mass, not avoiding sin) or they are allowed by God for our purification. It’s a great grace to recognize that sometimes we’ve put ourselves in that situation and then to be proactive about it.
 
Last edited:
Every Lent so far I get excited about making Lent super good, and it ends up being my “40 days in the desert.” I have come to embrace it though.
 
Never. Seriously, not once. Never.

Some people use the phrase “dark night of the soul” as a sort of badge of honor to be proud of – look how holy I am – but I think there’s for more disinformation out there than actual facts about this grace. The dark night of the soul is a rare gift of grace, not something everyone is going to experience. And St John of the Cross was writing for monastics, not us ordinary folks out in the world.

And personally, I think someone who is actually going through the actual dark night of the soul is NOT going to be going around talking about with everyone. Saint Teresa of Calcutta experienced it for decades, and no one but her confessors knew. St Therese of Lisieux experienced it for years, and even the other nuns in her Carmel knew nothing about it.

I think questions like these honestly indicate a misunderstanding of what the dark night of the soul truly is. Maybe do a little research (i.e., read the book) to learn more.

Just my grumpy old two cents’ worth…
 
Thank you. It’s a great reminder that it can be brought by our own doing, which we need to be pro-active to do something about it or it allowed by God for our purification, both of which we need to recognize and to take them positively. It awe me however that the saints should reach the level where they would be purified by the dark night. It is encouraging to know that true faith does not depend on how we feel but rather by our faithfulness. I mean we often hear question like why God is so far away.

God bless.
 
Every day since childhood. Some days are better than others, but still… I’ve never heard God’s voice or anything like that. Whereas others around me always seem to hear from God or feel Him. I kinda feel left out. 😦

Granted, I grew up with childhood abuse, so my case is probably different from your own. Still, God seems distant. It’s hard to go by faith and not by sight.

So, yeah, I know how you feel. Just gotta put one foot in front of the other. You’ll know you’re going through it when it seems like you’re praying to a brick wall. But, you know, sometimes it seems like God is answering prayers, just slowly in the background where you can’t see, arranging things for you. So even though you can’t hear Him, something He is doing for you is waiting around the corner, be lined up just for you, in answer to your prayers.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top